⚠️ Chapter has minor details of a panic attack. I am also sorry I haven't posted in 4 months 💀 half of the time I procrastinated, and the other half I wasn't motivated enough. But I'm back! ⚠️ if they're misspelling pls correct me, it's been awhile and this chapter is lengthy.
"You still didn't get anything from her?" Edward, phone on his shoulder, spoke quietly as he moved around the kitchen, hands working fast without mistakes, cracking eggs into the glass bowl.
Alice officially stopped getting visions from you. One minute you're staring blankly at the tv, the next minute its darkness. Complete nothingness. She knew you suffered from past depression thanks to your absent mother, then the slight neglect you got from being the middle child. And don't forget the stress of college. So... she was worried for your mental health, especially from the sudden cut off she received at the wedding.
"No Edward... I haven't. Billy isn't picking up the phone either. Carlisle and I assume two things. He's either ashamed to talk to us, or..." there was a brief pause. Anxiety started to build up in the male's chest as he got nothing but silence from the other end, the slow relaxed beat of his wife's heart keeping him from bursting the glass bowl, spilling the slushed eggs.
"Alice-"
"Just- just enjoy your vacation Edward... you're married now okay? So... focus on her. Focus on Bella." He could hear the fake hope in her voice. There was a slight salty taste to her words. She was bitter, to say the least. She let this whole thing go on for so long. From running away to Alaska to get away from Bella, ignoring your calls... she was so blind trying to validate her brother's feelings, trying to find out about her foggy past, she didn't even think to check on you, to see how you were doing in school, to see if you were okay, she was a bad friend, a horrible friend she can admit.
It's times like this when he wishes he could hear thoughts over the phone. He hated this, he hated what he did to you. He hated that even if he was in love with Bella, he still cared so much about you. He was mentally 17, yet was more mature than most of his peers.. he knew better. So he still blamed himself for letting you get caught up in his game for so long.
He felt bad. You got caught in the illusion. The same illusion he wished his wife fell for, but she so happened to be the one.
And his wife didn't know! Of course, she didn't. Dragged along in the manipulation as well. She thought you and Edward broke up on good terms. That's what she thought up until the wedding night. That made her question who she married, but it wasn't damaging enough to let him go. Edward knew this.
He hated himself for dragging you in this, to keep his human appearance up. Not all of it was fake! He tried to remind himself every night when he watched his wife sleep. It was true. He did start to catch feelings for you. But you weren't her. He didn't have to hide what he was from her. She knew him for him. And you didn't. And he didn't want to think about what you'd think of him when you did find out.
"What? Alice, stop playing right now... finish your sentence." The pixie girl looks over to her father figure, who listened to the call even though the phone was to her ear. He truly didn't know what to do in this case, as much as it pained him, you weren't any of their concern anymore.
He shrugged to his daughter, head empty for the first time in centuries. It was weird... you were like a daughter to him, he considered you family... but Edward was his son, and he couldn't choose you over him. No, he wouldn't choose you over him. Even when his stiff heart told him to do the right thing. which was to apologize to you, face to face for his son's actions.. it was wrong, he knew that.
This whole incident made Carlisle confused. Who was his son? he knew the boy was secretive, and quiet until he was with his true love, Bella. But to pull you along, to... manipulate the whole family into thinking the relationship was genuine, to fill your hopes up with being with his son for a long time?.. He fell right into his son's manipulation. He felt horrible, he couldn't imagine how betrayed you felt.
Who was Edward Masen?
They couldn't cross the border to check on you, nor were you answering their calls. It was clear you wanted nothing to do with them. Alice gulps down venom, a nervous tick she picked up from humans.
"Or," Edward places down the bowl with a hard thud. If his heart wasn't frozen in place, it would be the cause of his heart attack.
"He might be planning another funeral, Edward." "Edward?" Alice heard Bella over the phone. "But don't try to think about it too hard. She's okay...Goodbye Edward." Alice was quick to hang up the phone, stone hands now both placed on the dark counter of their home.
"Edward..." Bella repeats, slowly walking towards her husband, dark brown eyes concerned as she watches him stare off into space while the phone loosely hung in his fingers. She took the phone from his hold, her sweet smell wafting near his nose and warm fingers pulling him out of his daze.
"Yeah?" His voice was low, gold eyes meeting hers. Bella knew something was wrong, the next question was did she want to know what happened? Of course, she did. "Something happening?"
The cold one fixes up a smile, lips never pulling back over his teeth. "Alice going on her rant about Rosalie and Emmett... seems like they're going through another bed." This seems to make the other cheeks go red, a blush covering the tips of her ears with a dazed smile. "I guess we're not the only ones having fun this week..." she chuckles, and he follows along.
He was always a good liar.
"Do you know how idiotic that was?! You could've been killed, moron!" You stared up at your little brother with a bored expression, jaw swollen and cold as you laid the frozen peas on them.
Once you got the cold one head between your jaws, with fast movements it placed its hard marble fingers between your jaw, keeping them open until they popped.
You squinted your eyes at him, knowing you couldn't say anything to him as the bone in your jaw was dislocated, about to be popped back in place once the ice numbed it enough.
"Don't even look at me like that! You-ugh!!" He groans, hands curling together frustratingly in front of your face, a way to say he wanted to strangle you. How dare he disrespect me like that? A growl rumbled in your chest as you slapped his hands away from your face. You were about to kick his knees but he moved out of the way.
"Okay okay. Seriously Jacob lay easy on her, it was her first time. You remember your first time. Cocky with the dreadhead?" Sam finally spoke up, an amused smile on his face. You grunted, agreeing to his words, even though you had no idea what they were referring to. Your brother was madder at you than anything, which was understandable, the now-ashed vampire could've ripped your jaw off.
Your brother groaned dramatically in front of your face, now he was annoying. His friends behind the couch laughing at this. "Uh up!" You grunted shut up, throwing the frozen solid bag into his gut, making him groan at your strength. Yup, that was the strength of a grand chief granddaughter.
"You'll pay for that." He pointed at you with a panted breath. Uh oh. You stood up, prepared to get chased, but your brother's long legs got to you faster and push you onto the couch, kneeing you in the stomach and a hand on your upper chest, near your neck.
"Don't break my couch!" Emily screamed in horror as the couch scrapped against the hardwood floors, lifting some of the wax that made the floor shiny. "My floors!" This time it was sam who screamed in horror when the floors he built get scrapped up.
You screamed against your brother's palm, four of his fingers digging into your cheek as he snatched your jaw back in place.
A single tear leaves your eye as you glared at him, a whimper leaving your throat once he stepped off of you. "You... bitch." You cursed in pain as you held onto your jaw, chewing down on nothing in an attempt to grow used to the pain, which you did.
"Told you you'd pay," Jacob smirks as you sat up weakly, wiping the tear that fell down your chin. You scoffed, leg extending quickly, making him fall onto his back with a groan.
"Oh... Christ!" He gasped for air, Quil and Paul bursting into laughter as they surround the male rolling the floor. "oh come on, toughen up Jakie poo!" Jared teases as he walks through the door with a grin on his face.
He heard what had happened from the lot thanks to the strong hearing. "Screw off..." your brother scoffs as he gets picked up by Quil. The two of you make eye contact as you slouched back on the couch, he bucked at you but you didn't flinch, the action causing you to roll your eyes.
"What happened to jakie poo?" An unfamiliar voice speaks up before the screen door fully opened, everyone gasps and heads to the person in question as you fished out the box of cigarettes and the cheap white lighter that had your initials on it.
"Embry! Ugh finally! Being with these two make my back itch!" Embry? This catches your attention. Cigarette hanging loosely between your lips, you look back to see everyone surrounding their friend, backs facing you.
"Yeah, I can only imagine with jacobs moping and whining." This makes you grin, your puffy jaw going down in size. You stood up to go greet the other member of the pack, hand coming up to your jaw in hopes that it stops throbbing.
You threw the cig on the couch before walking over to the giants, standing beside Leah and Jared who made no effort in joining the shirtless group hug.
"You wouldn't believe who joined the pack," Quil said with a cheesy grin. You couldn't see it but you knew it was there, it always was. "Another one? Wait, wouldn't that mean another bloodsucker came into town?" His tone shifted into one serious.
Oh.
Sam sighed. "Yeah. Our friends are starting to get a little bit bold." He says. You heard some shifting, he probably was switching
his leg. "Even then... they may not know we exist, but they know forks is Yellow-eyed territory. They must think they're weak. So they're hunting on this land." Embry says.
"And with the mind reader gone that gives them an advantage," Leah spoke up beside you. "Don't forget future teller." That time it was Jared. This draws attention to the two of you, the boys moving out of the way to officially include you in the conversation, Leah, you, and Jared standing in the middle with an Embry standing in front of the door.
With arms crossed and eyes still boring to the orange oak flooring, you listen to everything being said.
Mind reader, future teller, yellow-eyed, our friends... your stomach felt so queasy, it disgusted you. And your face showed it.
It started to make sense. Small pieces finally connecting, it made you feel so slow, so...hurt... you were so hurt.
You thought you were going crazy back at the wedding, but no that was just the surface. The silent communication between the two siblings-were actual conversations! They did that right in front of you! They played you! For a white girl who just moved back into town...
Suddenly everything seems to be going so fast. How long have you been out of this loop? Who exactly did you date from sophomore year up until a few weeks ago?
They're vampires?! For how long?! Did they ever try to kill me??
Did he ever want to kill me?
A breath left your parted lips. You could feel your heartbeat. You placed your now sweaty palm against the worn-down tank top that separated your hand from the fast-beating artery. It felt like when you had a bad trip with weed when you were 13, but worse. Harder and harder, it felt as if it would come out of your mouth.
Ouch. That pain... not only pain but that utter disappointment and disgust you felt for yourself for even letting it happen!
You were so focused on trying not to panic, you didn't even realize how heavy you were breathing, or the familiar vapor that released from your pours when you were stressed. You didn't even notice that you dropped to your knees until Leah grabbed onto your arm to prevent you from hurting yourself.
Jacob's eyes widened, movements fast as he pushed Quil and Seth out of the way to get to you.
"Hey! Hey! If you do this then what was it for?! What was all the training, the pain, that -constant burning for?! Come on you've been doing so well! Y/N listen to me! Calm down and breathe!" You could hear your brother shout, Sam and Leah already down on your sides as your shaking widened eyes glared down at Quils sandals, needing something to focus on or else you'll rip out of your skin.
"Jacob you could be calmer!" Leah spat out, sarcasm on her tongue, but noticing how your steaming arms went up to cover your ears. It was too much. The voices, the smells, their smells. And it was hot, so hot. You felt your breath quickening.
"No... This is more than her losing control. I think she's having a panic attack." Sams's voice was stern. He's seen this before, shit he felt that before. "Paul take Emma out of the house." You wish you could be offended, but you didn't even trust yourself at the moment.
Suddenly you see feet moving. No no no, I need to concentrate. Calm down! Calm. Down.
You take in a shaky breath, it was so sharp you could've choked on it. "Okay, so what do we do?? I can't just let her sit there, it sounds like her heart is about to burst!" "Jacob!, seriously!" Leah whispers yell, irritated by the way the younger lacked common sense. And the yelling! Seriously!
"You can! And you will! If you try to help her you might fuck around and end up without an arm. This is not like comforting Bella, Jacob." This seems to shut your-
brother's mouth up, the sound of him scoffing and grinding his teeth together making you want to tear your hair out.
"Let her handle this by herself. Or else she'll just rely on you every time this happens." The wood creaks as the Alpha stands to his feet, then it was Leah copying him.
How embarrassing could this day get? You thought to yourself. First, it was the mid-air nakedness, now you're sitting here having a midlife crisis in front of all these men, plus Leah.
"I don't think it's working..." it was Seth to speak next.
Sad eyes look down at his second sister, shaking and scared. He doesn't need to be watching this. "Yeah- maybe we should do something... it's already been a few minutes-" "she'll calm down eventually." Sam cuts off Quil. The young wolf clenched his teeth as he watches you, his best friend, take in deep shallow breaths.
It looked like breathing hurt as your eyebrows stayed pushed together, eyes clenched in pain.
Jacob already sent him myself to a corner, jaw tightly shut as he watched you slouch on your knees. He hated this. If only he took the alpha role when he had the chance.
"Embry- just what do you think you're doing?" "Sam- seriously have some empathy. You didn't do this with Leah, so you're letting her go through it? If I lose an arm then screw it, it'll be gone." The floorboards vibrate with each step he took toward you.
This time it was Sam who was lost for words. He couldn't help but feel like a hypocrite.
He watched as Embry stood in front of you, confusion on his face. He's never had to be the one to comfort a newly turned wolf. That was Jared or Jacob's job.
Whatever he'd do, it would be better than just letting you struggle to catch your breath. Sam wasn't the comforting type when it came to his Alpha work. He thinks tough love will make you stronger, to help you get over your fears or pain the fastest.
But in reality, it just makes it harder to come to him for some older brother advice. Maybe Emily could change that.
"Um...we should leave them.." Leah spoke up, clearing her throat and shooting a glare at your brother and then her brother. "and yes I'm talking about you as well." she says, knocking shoulders with sam as she made her way out the front door. Jacob hesitated, and so did Sam, but soon it was just you and Embry in the house.
"well.." Embry gulps down nervously as he stared at the top of your head. This was not what he was expecting when he came back into town. He was expecting his mom's smoked fish and potatoes...not comforting his childhood friend that he hasn't spoken to in a year. The relationship between the two of you was simple. He was jacobs older friend. And being around Jacob meant that he'd be seeing you a lot.
It was always short conversations, nothing deep. As soon as Jacob got the football he stood up quickly, said his byes, and ran outside with his friends to play.
You were the mysterious one out of the siblings, always quiet in your journal or sketching something at the dining table, in your favorite chair in front of the window, so no one could see what you were doing. so when you did show some type of interest in what your brother and his friends were doing, he always tried to make friends with you.
He figured you were just the shy type, so whenever Jacob was changing into play clothes or making himself a snack, he would always try to talk to you. I guess the mysterious side of you always made him... interested in you.
When the two of you got older, things of course changed. He had to stop talking to his none-shifter friends, including you and Jacob. But he always watched you from a distance, watching you smile down at your phone as you talked to your boyfriend.. the yellow-eyed freak.
It seemed like his lack of presence never phased you, and maybe that was a good thing, you had a boyfriend at the time, and well... you were his best friend's older sister.
Even though it disgusted him every time you rushed to the phone to answer his call, before knowing he was a vampire and after, Embry still found himself glancing over at you.
Sadly it didn't go well as his mom sent him to a discipline camp. then he didn't see you for a year... didn't get to hug you off for college.
But now he's here, nervous as hell, picking at the skin on his nails as he watched you have a panic attack.
It shouldn't be this hard. Was it because every time his mother asked him what was wrong he forced his mouth shut? couldn't even go to her to get comfort? or was it because every time he thought he was going to go crazy from the hormonal change, he couldn't go to his pack mates because they were either focused on vampires or the one they imprinted on?
Paul with Rachel, Jacob's sister, Quil with Kim's niece, Jared with Kim, and sam with Emily. And don't get him going about Jacob and his obsession with his childhood friend who's married to the worst person in the world.
At least his situation isn't that bad. He might've been lonely, but he's grateful fate didn't allow him to suffer for the one he loved.
But for now, he doesn't even know what love feels like. He thinks.
"um..." he blinks, before taking in a deep breath and bending down, making sure you had your respect space. This shouldn't be so hard, so why is this so awkward... rolling his eyes, the male tilted his head, in hopes to catch your eyes, but they stayed covered, your hot arms covering your face to feel grounded.
"I know... that this is hard.." he started, staring at the hot pink scrunchy that tangled in your hair, the scrunchy Bella gave to you. "Trust me when I say that... all of this information, swarming your mind, it gets...it gets better... You trusted someone that you truly didn't know..." he clears his throat as you took a sniff, snot threatening to roll down, but you weren't that heartbroken to embarrass yourself like that.
"Okay-okay screw this." He couldn't take the awkward comforting speech. He's going to try his best, in the way he'd want someone to comfort him. Not in a corny rom-com way that's too corny for his taste. "Hey, hey I need you to look at me... Please." Your heart was fast, but it stopped for just a second when you heard the sincerity in his voice.
It was weird getting male attention from someone who wasn't your dad or Jacob. You would say Edward but...we know now that it wasn't sincere.
His beg was a whisper, but from the quietness of the house, it was so clear. You lifted your head, it was slow, and you hesitated. You hated being weak in front of men, yet it's all you've been doing lately.
you took another sniff, before looking the other way, too embarrassed to look into his eyes, which was hypocritical since you hated the lack of eye contact when it came to others.
"Hey. You know, this would be easier if you could look at me." His lips twitched in a slight smile, his brown eyes capturing your side profile, noticing how mature your face got in just a year.
it felt like he missed so much.
Rolling your eyes, you wiped off your wet face, and turned your head, with an attitude you could confidently say you got from your mom, you tilted your head and locked eyes with him.
W O O S H.
It was as if we stared into each other's eyes for hours. Our hearts synced together, our souls attaching, impossible for them to separate unless death is our option.
I couldn't see anything but him, yet my vision was clear, I could see anything, everything. it was like the world evolved around us, no one in the universe but Embry and I.
Suddenly I forgot about all of my problems, what was I crying about? why is my heart pacing so fast like a drum? it's been so long since I've felt this stress-free, this problem free.
That's not normal.
"What just happen..." your voice was a mere whisper.. it was as low as it ever was. But he still heard you, of course, he did. Embry wasn't doing any better, he wasn't panicking but he felt like he should've been. Why was it so hard to look away from your eyes?
"I think we just imprinted on each other."
what?