Sorry this update took a while! I tried to find a way to make it not so boring. Unfortunately, I couldn't :')))) Hope u still enjoy tho!! Just look out for the cute Nicky x (Y/N) moments, you'll see them if you squint.
~~~
Today was supposed to be a free day. For once, (Y/N)'s mom wasn't nagging her about her YouTube channel or some charity event or someplace she'd booked for a gig. She'd finished all her errands, and she didn't have any new songs to write. She had the whole day to just be completely free. She could lay down in her bed and do nothing for all she cared.
But as soon as the (H/C)-haired girl entered her room, let her back hit her mattress, and close her eyes, her phone suddenly rang. (Y/N)'s (E/C) orbs shot open and she groaned.
Right. She forgot the quads.
"What," she grumbled when she answered, not even bothering to see the caller ID.
She could hear Dawn's yelp. "Whoa, called at a bad time?"
"Unless you and your brothers have a good reason to disturb me on a perfectly good Saturday - the ONLY PROPER rest day I've had in a while - so help me I will upload your baby pictures on FaceShack."
"Oh, then it IS important! 'Cause this is about FaceShack."
(Y/N) paused. "You need to get your priorities in order–"
"Come on, (Y/N)!" The girl heard Ricky's voice now. "We need you to take our picture!"
"Good lord."
"We need you to help us contribute to the Squadgoals hashtag!" Dicky's voice called out. "Head to the store ASAP!"
"Guys, I SWEAR–"
"Pleaseeee, love?" Nicky's voice pleaded.
(Y/N) hesitated for a long time. She could practically hear her best friends laughing maniacally, knowing they'd gotten to her.
"UGH fine!" (Y/N) shouted, hanging up. She didn't need to keep calling to hear the quads squeal in victory.
She grabbed her bag grumpily and headed out.
~~~
"You have got to be kidding me."
(Y/N) was scowling as she stared at her best friends, all standing on the stairs with helmets and life vests on as they held a large canoe. "Isn't it cool?" Dawn said excitedly.
"I can think of 50 other things to call what you're doing," (Y/N) deadpanned. "Like 'stupid', 'idiotic', 'something past-(Y/N) would do'. But 'cool'? Nowhere close."
"We just need ONE picture of us going down the stairs in the canoe," Ricky explained. "You can do that, right?"
"I CAN but will I DO it?"
"Come ON," Dicky rolled his eyes. "We take your pictures all the time!"
"Without my consent!"
"The point is!" Nicky waved a hand. "We'll be fine, baby, promise!"
"You sure?"
"I mean, no guarantee," Dawn admitted. (Y/N) raised an eyebrow at her. "We'll do it quick!"
"Kiss for good luck?" Nicky asked, pouting. His girlfriend took a deep sigh and eventually kissed his lips happily.
"Ew," the other three quads cringed. Nicky just smirked at them.
And so the quads made their way up the stairs. (Y/N) positioned herself where she could get a good picture of the four. But in the two times they tried it, both times the canoe was sent flying right into the wall behind the cashier. (Y/N) had taken some pictures that the quads didn't like so they insisted on going for a third round, much to her dismay. At that moment, Mae came around.
"Mae, thank goodness," (Y/N) said breathlessly as she practically pushed Dawn's phone into her hand. "YOU do it, I can't stand this anymore."
"Wait, Dawn called both of us over for this?" Mae questioned, as (Y/N) pushed her up the stairs.
"Yeah!" Dawn chirped, as the quads started carrying their third canoe up the stairs as well.
The dark-haired girl crossed her arms and went down one step. "Are you guys sure going down the stairs in a canoe is the best idea?"
"Yes!" Dicky replied enthusiastically. "Stair-canoeing is genius!"
"More like dangerous," (Y/N) deadpanned, leaning on the stair railing.
"But it's the ultimate Squadgoals photo!" Nicky complained.
"But I don't want you getting hurt!" The girl petted her boyfriend's helmet, who smiled sweetly at her.
"Don't worry!" Ricky reassured. "FaceShack is gonna blow up when we post this."
"That's not what I'm worried about–"
"Just be sure to get the picture!" Dawn interrupted. Mae held her hands up in defense and rolled her eyes as she and (Y/N) went down the stairs. "Come on!" The quads started carrying their canoe back up again.
"This isn't going to go well, is it?" Mae asked.
(Y/N) huffed. "Didn't go well the first two times."
And true enough, as the quads rode their canoe down the stairs, they crashed horribly into the cashier counter. They all groaned as they sat up on the floor. (Y/N) hurried over to check on them, and also reached over to cup Nicky's face and check for bruises. "Are you okay?!" she exclaimed.
"Always better when you're here," Nicky said with a smile but winced again at the pain.
"Did you get the picture?" Dawn asked hopefully.
"Well..." Mae looked guilty as she showed the phone screen. "I got A picture." The only photo she'd gotten was the side of Dawn's screaming face. The quads groaned. (Y/N) stood back up. "Sorry. I was busy getting a kid out of harm's way."
"What kid?" Nicky asked.
"Me." (Y/N) just scoffed and crossed her arms.
"A GOOD friend would've taken the hit, Mae!" Ricky scolded.
Mae put a hand on her hip and checked FaceShack again. Her eyes widened. "Uh-oh...I didn't get a picture of you, but someone else did."
She showed them the phone. The picture was of the quads on the floor, and up leaning on their hands behind the counter were the Kramden quads, smiling innocently at the camera. The hashtags "#squadgoals" and "#kramdenyourface" were in the caption.
"Wait, isn't that us from like, just a second ago?" Dawn realized.
"With the KRAMDEN quads behind us," Ricky sneered.
"How did they make it look like they're behind the counter?" Dicky questioned.
"Because we're behind the counter!" a female voice that sounded like Emma(?) said.
"How did they make it sound like they're behind the counter?"
(Y/N) blinked excessively. "Uh...turn around, guys." So they did.
"Hello, Harpers!" the Kramdens sang out, waving their fingers.
"Hello, Kramdens," the Harpers shot back.
Mae helped them finally get the canoe off the Harpers, but (Y/N) looked around. "Who the heck took your picture..." she murmured.
"Glad you saw our Squadgoals post," Jules(?) said. "We hashtagged it 'kramdenyourface'." The Kramdens laughed, but the Harpers mock-laughed right back at them.
"Laugh it up," Lyle(?) huffed.
"Nice to see you guys again," (Y/N) waved awkwardly. Her best friends shot looks at her."I mean terrible. So terrible. Why are you back."
"Well thanks to your BFFs, (Y/N)," George(?) replied. "We're already at 50 knocks on our FaceShack door!"
"There is no way you're at 50!" Nicky gasped.
Emma heard a knocking notification on her phone and checked it. "You're right!" she chirped. "51. Thanks, Dicky."
The quads and (Y/N) looked at the blonde boy, who was chuckling at his phone. He looked up at the four but didn't look guilty. "What? It's a really good post!" he defended.
(Y/N) rolled her eyes. Nicky pulled her closer by the waist and the girl looked at the Kramdens with an eyebrow raised. "So, are you going to keep tormenting my best friends?" she asked sarcastically.
"No, don't worry," Jules chuckled. "We're just gonna say we doubt you'll ever beat it!"
"Oh, we're GONNA beat it," Dawn said in the same tone. "And we also have the perfect hashtag that's WAY better than Squadgoals."
"Oh, yeah?" Lyle said. "What is it?"
"Uh, no way! It's a secret. You're just gonna have to wait until we post it."
Dicky then leaned over to the four and whispered, "It's Quadgoals, right?"
"DICKY!" they yelled.
"Quadgoals!" Jules sing-songed. "I like it."
"I'm glad WE thought of it," Emma smirked.
"Hey, that's not fair to Harpers," (Y/N) pointed at them, glaring.
"Yeah!" Dawn shot. "Quadgoals is OURS."
"Guess we'll just have to let the Internet decide," George declared.
"Well, that's also not fair to the Harpers," (Y/N) shook her head. The Harpers looked at her. "What?"
"Fine," Ricky just said, stepping forward. "Whoever gets the most likes on their Quadgoals pic by the end of the weekend WINS the hashtag."
"Good luck, Harpers," Emma scoffed.
The Kramdens walked away laughing, and the Harpers mock-laughed at them again. "Sassy little munchkins," Dawn sneered. "I just wanna put 'em on a shelf and look at 'em...and then just PUSH 'EM OFF!"
"First they took our commercial, then they entered the bobsled race," Nicky listed. "And NOW the Internet!"
"Look on the bright side," (Y/N) rubbed his shoulder. "You guys won the first two times."
"But still!" Dicky shouted. "Why are they always challenging us and driving us to be better?!"
"More importantly," Mae began. "How are you going to explain THIS to your parents?" She gestured to the canoe that lay on the floor.
"Oh, this is gonna be easy," Dawn said. "It's the first two that's gonna be tough..." She pointed at the wall behind the counter, and Mae finally noticed the two canoes that were stuck there.
"Who knows, maybe they won't notice?" (Y/N) offered hopefully. They all flinched when one of the canoes looked ready to fall.
~~~
The next day, (Y/N) and the quads were in the Harpers' place, where (Y/N) sat in-between Nicky and Ricky on the couch, and Dawn paced behind them. "Okay," she began. "The sooner we take our Quadgoals pic, the longer it'll be up on FaceShack. Which means the better chance we'll have of beating those Kramdens."
"Don't you think this unhealthy obsession of beating them is getting to you too much?" (Y/N) asked.
"What makes you say that?"
"Oh I don't know, maybe the fact that you guys literally wouldn't sleep texting and flashing how much you hate the Kramdens to me all night that I eventually had to sleep over and get you guys to bed?"
Dawn blinked. "Nope, still don't see it," (Y/N) sighed. "But back on that topic, any ideas?" She went to sit down beside Ricky.
Before he could say anything, Dicky ran into the room carrying a green plastic bag. "I got it," he declared. "We should nostril-blast peas out of our noses at the same time."
Nicky slowly put his arm around (Y/N)'s waist in fear. Dawn deadpanned at him. "You don't got it." Dicky sat down on the single couch disappointedly.
Suddenly, Tom and Anne started walking down the stairs. "Kids, pack your bags!" Tom announced.
"You're kicking us out?!" Nicky exclaimed, assuming.
"It's because of the stair canoes, isn't it?!" Ricky squeaked, gripping his clipboard.
"What stair canoes?" Tom asked.
Ricky laughed awkwardly. "Who said stair canoes? I said, 'share your news!'"
"Okay," Anne began. "We're all going to visit Aunt Jackie on her farm!"
"Really?!" Dawn exclaimed excitedly. Her brothers also looked at each other with wide grins. "We're allowed back?"
"I thought she banned us because of the whole quilt incident!" Ricky said.
"It was an afghan."
"It was a throw," Nicky also corrected.
"What are those things?" (Y/N) murmured.
"Kinda not the point!" Tom exclaimed.
"Yeah, you kids completely ruined Aunt Jackie's entry into the county fair."
"That's not how I remember it," Dicky said, eating peas.
"What happened then?" (Y/N) asked.
"Well if you remember when we were six, we all argued over what the blanket thing was until we destroyed it."
"...That sounds like something that could happen."
"...Huh. That IS how I remember it."
"It's been seven years," Dawn looked at her mom. "Why would she lift the ban now?"
"More importantly," (Y/N) crossed her arms. "Who holds a grudge for seven years over a blanket?"
"It was a quilt," Ricky corrected.
"Afghan!" Dawn shouted.
"Throw!" Nicky cried.
"Not the point!" (Y/N) threw her hands up. "Never mind, I can see why!"
Nicky rubbed her arm. "So, does she trust us again?"
"I guess she just doesn't like making the drive down here," Anne said. "It stresses her out."
"Everything stresses her out," Tom joked, speaking from the side of his mouth.
"Yeah, like when people talk about her out of the sides of their mouth." She mocked her husband, who frowned.
"Well here's something out of the front of her mouth. She's a nut job, Anne!"
"No, honey, she just-she's just fun-loving!"
Tom took a seat on the other single couch. "Yeah, a fun-loving nut."
(Y/N) chuckled. "Well, I hope you guys have a lovely trip. I'll be here at home completely paranoid over the lack of noise." She nudged Ricky jokingly, who raised an eyebrow.
"Oh, (Y/N), that's the fun part!" Anne chirped. "Your parents allowed you to come with us!"
"Really?" (Y/N) gasped. The quads all sat up straight, eager as well.
"Yeah! Aunt Jackie wants you to see the farm! You know, when she first met you, she still couldn't believe it when one of our sons got a girlfriend," She chuckled at Nicky, who pouted and sighed. "Now she wants you to see the old thing, give you a feel of what it's like being in the family."
"I mean, I've gotten a feel of it for over eight years," (Y/N) joked.
"I also told her since you help keep our children in check, you'll definitely relieve some stress over her."
"That's awesome! And yeah, I'd love to come along. Wait, have you talked to my mom? She's been very particular with my schedule lately and–"
"Yes yes, I talked to (M/N) and she seemed alright with it! She joked and I quote, 'might need a break from me anyway'."
"Oh heck yeah I do." When Anne raised an eyebrow at her, (Y/N) chuckled nervously. "I mean, I love her. So much. And I appreciate the things she does for me but boy I need to get away for a few days."
"This IS awesome!" Nicky agreed, setting down his sandwich and gripping her shoulders. "Now I'm excited to get up there! And you can see the farm we used to go to all the time." (Y/N) smiled sweetly at that.
"Yeah!" Dawn agreed, an idea forming in her head. "Aunt Jackie's farm is the perfect place to take the ultimate Quadgoals pic!" Her brothers and (Y/N) already started grinning, but Anne held her hands up.
"Oh no no no no no," she said. "I promised Aunt Jackie that you guys would behave!" She picked up Nicky's sandwich plate and headed for the kitchen. "Hey, this is important to me! I really miss going up there, so no shenanigans." She also grabbed Dicky's bag of peas, who gasped.
"We don't participate in shenanigans," Ricky defended.
"I think you guys do," (Y/N) said, shrugging.
"Ooh!" Nicky said. "We could tip a cow for a pic."
"Shenanigan!" Anne pointed.
"Or mud-wrestle a pig!" Dawn said.
"Shenanigan!"
"Ooh, llama race!" Dicky put in.
"Well, Aunt Jackie doesn't have any llamas but if she did, shenanigan!"
"Or we could sit quietly and be well-behaved teenagers," (Y/N) offered.
"Shen– THANK you, (Y/N)."
"Wait, no llamas?" Dicky repeated. "What kind of farm is this?"
"It's a dairy farm!"
"Well, nut-job or not," Tom said, flipping through a magazine. "Your Aunt Jackie's got a great back porch and I can't wait to get up there and smell that fresh dairy air."
The quads looked at their father and blinked uncomfortably.
(Y/N) rolled her eyes. "I'm just excited to see all the animals."
"I'll take lots of pictures of you for you," Nicky offered, patting her knee. "You can talk about how much you love them on FaceShack."
"Thanks, love!" The girl gave him a side-hug.
Dawn looked at her mom. "(Y/N) taking pictures with animals isn't a shenanigan?"
Anne shrugged. "Well, I know she wouldn't do anything to mess up so..." The quads sighed.
"Don't worry guys," (Y/N) reassured. "We'll find something for your Quadgoals pic that won't do anything to get in your Aunt's way."
"I really hope," Ricky said.
"Now, I gotta head back home and find clothes that are fitting for that dairy air!" She got up and waved as she walked out the house, making the quads blink uncomfortably again.
~~~
And so, one day and a few hours later, the Harpers and (Y/N) found themselves on the dairy farm. For the quads, it was like being back home again. Dawn even brought Squishy, who was dressed in a farmboy outfit. For (Y/N), it was an enticing new experience. She giddily looked around the farm, silently squealing at each animal she saw. Nicky took some candid photos of her, smiling to himself at how cute she looked when she was so happy. They then gathered at the center of the farm, in front of the house.
"Breathe it in, kids," Tom declared, and they all took a big whiff. "Ah, you can't smell that at home."
"Yeah because we flush," Nicky remarked. (Y/N) chuckled.
"This place looks amazing though," she said.
"You've never been to a farm in your life, have you?" Dicky questioned.
"No, why?"
"ANNIE!" Everyone turned to the house and saw a blonde woman running out excitedly.
"OH, JACKIE!" Anne squealed, running over to hug her sister.
"Thanks for finally letting us back on the farm, Aunt Jackie," Ricky said with a smile.
"And thanks for letting me come, too!" (Y/N) chirped. "I was just telling the quads how amazing it is here."
"Yeah, this is awesome," Dicky agreed.
"Aww, of course, sweet (Y/N)!" Jackie grinned, reaching over to grip the girl's shoulder. "Oh, you've gotten more beautiful since the last time I saw you!" She pushed her away a bit to "whisper" to Nicky. "She's a keeper, boy! Don't lose her!"
"I know, Aunt Jackie," Nicky said proudly. "Don't plan to." (Y/N) beamed at that.
Dawn stepped forward. "We also just wanted to say, we're really sorry about the whole–"
"Oh no no no no no, it's all in the past," Jackie waved a hand and shrugged. "I didn't win that year!" Her voice slowly started drifting off. "Or the year after that. Or the year after that year. Or any year after that year- But THIS! This is my year. And I have got somethin' as you kids say..." She held up two thumbs up. "...'cool', to show ya! Come on!"
Jackie hustled into the barn. Dawn set down Squishy. Nicky put an arm around (Y/N)'s waist and the rest followed the blonde woman.
"Nut," Tom said from the sides of his mouth.
"Fun-loving!" Anne scolded.
Once they got inside, they noticed the barn was cold. Like, really cold. (Y/N) noticed the air conditioner plugged into the wall. But of course, the very first thing she - and everyone else - noticed were the four large yellow blobs resting on tables. But, upon closer inspection, (Y/N) and the Harpers noticed they were shaped into heads. Specifically, the quads. The four siblings all leaned forward in front of their respective heads, with (Y/N) standing behind them, mouths agape, eyes widened.
"You kids inspired my newest passion and latest entry into the county fair," Jackie proclaimed. She spread her arms out to proudly gesture to the heads. "My niece and nephews in butter!"
Everyone was silent for a while as they stared at the butter heads' closed eyes and mouths. "Wow," Dawn finally said, managing a smile as she nodded. "That's...that...wow."
"I would've gone with 'why'?" Ricky put in, smiling.
"Yeah..."
"I would've gone with what the actual heck," (Y/N) deadpanned.
Jackie chuckled. "Think of these butter sculptures as a symbol of my forgiveness."
"In that case, the butter freaking rocks!" Jackie smiled gratefully at the girl.
"Who knew butter could look so life-like?" Dawn pointed out.
"Yeah, it's so realistic," Ricky said, as they finally backed away.
"And they'll stay that way thanks to this magic cooling box!" Jackie pointed at the air conditioner behind her, beaming widely.
Nicky squinted his eyes. "She knows it's called an air con–"
"Leave it alone," Ricky interrupted.
"Well, I have to say, Jackie, I'm really impressed!" Anne complimented her sister.
"Oh, well now we both have quads, Annie," Jackie said, then started choking on a sob. "Maybe Mommy will finally see us as equals."
Anne smiled awkwardly, and so did the others. "Mother issues," (Y/N) sing-songed quietly.
"Okay!" Dawn chuckled lightly. "Speaking of equals, THIS equals an AWESOME Quadgoals pic!" She started bringing her phone out.
"NO!" Jackie shouted, her voice firm and loud. The Harpers were shocked. "I'm sorry kids, I'm sorry," Jackie moved out from behind the table. "What I meant to say was, NO! I don't want any photographs getting out ahead of the judging."
The quads groaned. "Well," (Y/N) piped up. "You'll have lots of things to do here! You'll find a pic soon, don't worry guys!"
The four grinned at their best friend. "So, where'd you get all that butter?" Ricky asked their aunt.
"Well, I make it the old--fashioned way!" Jackie replied. "I milk old Carol over there..." She gestured to the cow in its stall. "...and then..." She walked over to a bucket with a long stick out of it. "I churn the butter myself!" She sat down on a stood and started churning. "Turns out it's a great stress-reliever. Churn, churn, churn. And I am a little bit tense, you know, with this being my year and all." She laughed lightly but her face then dropped into a frown. "I need this win."
All of the Harpers then exhaled together, "O-kay!"
"We're just gonna go and get settled in our rooms," Anne laughed. They all started rushing out.
"Sorry, Mrs. Harper," (Y/N) said while walking bristly. "I'll have to agree with Mr. Harper."
Anne gasped and Tom smirked. "HA!" he gloated. "THANK you, (Y/N)! Now, I know how I want to settle in, with a nice little porch nap!"
"Have fun!" (Y/N) waved a hand as the adults walked away.
Nicky took her hand and then smiled at his siblings. "So, when do we sneak back into the barn and get the butter sculpture picture?"
Ricky furrowed his brows. "We don't," he replied.
Dicky, Nicky, and even (Y/N) looked confused. "We don't?" Dicky repeated.
"You won't?" (Y/N) asked as well.
"But that's what we do."
"Not this time!" Dawn said. "Remember? No shenanigans?" She pointed at their best friend. "Remember? Keeping us in check?" (Y/N) just raised her hands in defense, her face expressing how much she didn't want to be in this situation. "We're just gonna have to find something EVEN better than butter heads to beat those Kramdens." As usual, she said their names full of spite.
"Yeah, there's a lot of things to do on the farm, you'll find something," (Y/N) reassured. She looked at the ground and her eyes lit up. "Ooh! Here!" She picked up an axe and handed it to Nicky. "Chop off some wood. Or chop off some heads I dunno-"
"Babe, no," Nicky deadpanned.
Suddenly, Dicky laughed. "Chickens are funny," he chuckled. The quads followed his gaze to see a chicken pecking at the ground.
"That's it!" Dawn exclaimed. "We can take a picture of it laying an egg!" Her siblings except Dicky looked eager now.
"Look at its legs! They're like chicken legs."
"Even better!" Nicky put in. "I could cook an omelet and you guys could hold the chicken over the pan and act surprised."
"Yeah!" Ricky agreed. "It'll look like the chicken laid a fully cooked omelet."
"No one will buy that," (Y/N) spoke up. "But that would look funny so, I'm in!"
"Great!" Dawn squealed. "Ooh, and then we can hashtag it 'Omelettin' you have it, Kramdens'!"
"Yes!" Ricky laughed.
Dicky, however, was still looking at the chicken. "Look at the little wiggly thing under her chin," he pointed out. "Like Grandma. I wonder if she'll let me play with it, like Grandma. Come on-" He reached for the chicken and started chasing him. (Y/N) winced, pulling Nicky closer by hooking her arm around his.
"We should help him–" Dawn started.
"But!" Ricky reached out to put a hand over Dawn, to stop his sister, and smirked. "Not right away."
Dawn and Nicky looked at (Y/N). She shrugged. "I'll allow it," she said, and started giggling. "I mean look at him." They all looked over Dicky started shouting when the chicken started chasing HIM. The four started laughing at the boy. "He says he can take a turkey but he can barely take a chicken!"
"I know right," Nicky laughed as well, pulling her close.
"Help!" Dicky shouted. "She's faster than Grandma!"
"Okay, now," Ricky said, sounding worried.
The four started helping Dicky chase the chicken. But true enough, it was way too fast and they were struggling to get it, despite all five of them working together. They tried calling it and such, but nothing was working.
(Y/N) grunted loudly. "Get back here you stupid–"
"Wait!" Ricky exclaimed. "Wait. We're never gonna catch it like this!"
"Yeah, no kidding. What do you propose, then?"
"Simple! We have to THINK like a chicken!"
The quads stared at Ricky. "I think we lost him."
But, Dicky just replied, "Not a problem." He put his hands behind his armpits and moved them as he started clucking.
"Okay, we lost him too but he was long gone before."
Then, it wasn't long until the other three quads started clucking and squawking as well. (Y/N) stared at them in disbelief.
"O-kay, now I've lost all of you."
"Come on, babe!" Nicky whispered.
"Nuh-uh, Imma pass– Oh shoot why is this happening."
She jumped when the chicken ran out from underneath her feet. The quads tried to surround her and it ran away again. (Y/N) pinched the bridge of her nose, sighing exasperatedly. Jackie was now exiting the barn and smiling as she watched the kids. "Aww, you kids keep getting more and more like your father each year!" she commented.
(Y/N) choked on a laugh. "That's also what I notice."
"Now, why are you riling up my chickens?"
The quads hesitated and sighed. "Well, the truth is," Dawn began, walking over. "We're just trying to take a cool picture of the farm."
"Oh well in that case, I've got just the thing, come on!" She gestured for them to follow her back into the barn and the five followed.
~~~
Later, the quads were all seated down holding baby bottles full of milk. They were holding it out for baby goats, letting them drink. The quads were grinning at how adorable the animals were. Jackie was holding Dawn's phone, ready to snap pictures.
"Sorry we only had three baby goats, Dicky," Jackie apologized.
Dicky shrugged. He was feeding Squishy instead of a goat. "I'm good," he replied.
"You guys are so cute," (Y/N) laughed, taking pictures on her own phone.
Nicky grinned and gestured at her. "Come on, love, your turn," he insisted.
(Y/N) smiled and sat down beside him. She took the bottle from him and the goats continued drinking. "Awww!"
"You're cuter than the goats combined though," Nicky whispered, smiling. (Y/N) wrinkled her nose and bumped her head against his, but she was also smiling giddily.
"Everybody say 'goat cheese'!" Dawn sang.
"No, don't say goat cheese, the goats hate that," Jackie said quickly.
Nicky stared. "Well then what should we say?"
"I'm just kidding! Everybody say 'goat cheese', the goats don't understand English! Only cows understand English," She leaned on a beam. "Right Carol?" The cow was unresponsive. "Don't make me look stupid in front of these people, Carol." She finally mooed and Jackie glared.
"What did she say?" (Y/N) questioned.
"Eh, not important! Okay, picture time!"
(Y/N) stood up to get out of the photo, and Dawn spoke to her brothers through the sides of her mouth. "Everybody say cuckoo."
"Cuckoo," the boys chimed.
Jackie took the picture and gasped as she showed Carol. "Aww, that's cute!" She gave the phone back to Dawn.
"Yes!" she cheered. "Best Quadgoals pic ever."
"You can hastag it 'you've goat to be kidding me'," (Y/N) laughed. Nicky chuckled but the others were silent. "...What?"
Dawn shook her head. "Caption later, but as soon as we post this the Kram..." She then trailed off and her eyes widened.
"What's wrong?"
"Uh, guys? There's no cell service here, this is bad!"
"Baaad."
"Goat gets it," Dicky said.
"Oh no, that wasn't the goat, that was meeee," Jackie brayed. "I was just agreeing with you because the cell service around here is more rare than me winning something at the county fair." She chuckled but choked on a sob again. "I need this win."
She left the room without seeing Dawn look dejected. "And so do we," she said gloomily. Her brothers also looked upset.
"Okay, that means there's only one solution to this," (Y/N) declared. "We have to get off our butts and go look for a signal!" She nudged Dawn to get her to stand up.
The blonde girl smiled and nodded. She stood up and looked at her brothers. "Yeah, (Y/N) is right! We still have some chance! Let's go!"
Hope bloomed on the boys' faces, and the five kids all stood, leaving the baby bottles with the goats, and ran out of the barn.
~~~
Unfortunately for them, the quads and (Y/N) ran around the whole farm but haven't found any luck. They started becoming more and more frustrated. Nicky even carried (Y/N) on his shoulders so she could try and reach the signal at a higher level. But still, nothing. Eventually, they reunited back in front of the house.
"So have you guys found any luck finding a signal?" Dawn asked. She looked at (Y/N) sitting on Nicky and raised an eyebrow. "And...is Nicky okay under you?"
"No, we checked everywhere!" Nicky complained. Then he smirked. "Also yes, I am doing just fine." He set his girlfriend down carefully and proudly.
(Y/N) rolled her eyes with a laugh. "I'm just light." The boy pouted, and she hooked her arm around his again. "But yeah, still no signal."
"This place is confusing," Dicky complained. "I got lost in the corn maze, the cabbage maze, the grass maze..."
"None of those were mazes," Ricky said, shaking his head.
"Dang it!" Dawn cursed. "Aunt Jackie's right, there IS no signal."
"Check the barn again," (Y/N) suggested. They all lifted their phones and went inside, still looking.
Then they heard Aunt Jackie call out, "Well, I'm off...TO THE CONTEST!" Anne and Tom - who had been sleeping on the porch the entire time - yelled out "Nut!" and "Fun-loving!" as they were suddenly awoken. Anne realized Jackie was dressed and took her hands. The two started talking about how Jackie would be off and would be back later, and Anne once again promised that there would be no shenanigans. She waved at the kids and the five waved back with big smiles. Once Jackie was gone, Anne went back to sleep with Tom on the porch.
And once she was out, Dawn's smile dropped. "It's shenanigan time," she declared.
"What," (Y/N) deadpanned. Dawn gathered the others around her.
"As soon as Mom and Dad fall back asleep, I'm going into town to post that Quadgoals pic."
"To town?" Nicky exclaimed. "It'll take you forever to walk there!"
"Who said anything about walkin'?"
She said it with a smirk but Dicky didn't seem to catch on. "Nicky just said it," he pointed out.
"Don't ruin my moment," Dawn then repeated what she said in the same tone. "Who said anything about walkin'?"
"Seriously. Nicky just said it!"
The quads looked exasperated at their brother. (Y/N) just patted his shoulder. "What are we gonna do with you," she murmured.
~~~
Dawn's big plan was to bring out Jackie's tractor and drive it herself to the town. She sat in the machine now, but (Y/N) was gripping Nicky's arm nervously. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" she asked.
"Relax, (Y/N)!" Dawn said confidently. "I've got this! It'll be like riding a bike. But I don't have to pedal!"
"What if Mom and Dad see you?" Ricky asked.
"I think we're good," Dawn pointed at their sleeping parents, both passed out on the porch.
"Are you sure you know how to drive that thing?" Nicky asked.
"How hard can it be?" Dawn reached behind her to start the tractor and the engine revved. She put the handles together and immediately started moving, as well as panicking. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!"
"Pretty hard, apparently!"
"Dawn!" (Y/N) cried out.
"We should help her," Dicky said, already starting to go after Dawn.
But Ricky put a hand over his chest and stopped him. "But not right away," he smirked.
(Y/N) glared. "Unless you want something to go completely wrong, YES right away!" She tried to run forward but Nicky hugged her waist to pull her back to save her from the tractor, just before Dawn moved the tractor in reverse. She kept screaming while she kept going back and forth.
"She keeps going in circles!" Nicky exclaimed.
"I think she needs directions to town!" Dicky said. He pointed left and yelled, "IT'S THAT WAY!" His brothers glared at him.
"That's not what she needs!" (Y/N) yelled back, looking around for anything that could stop it.
"Where's the brake?!" Dawn shrieked.
"Check the side!"
The blonde only kept screaming. Nicky then gasped and pointed at the ground. "Oh, no. Dawn just ran over that extension cord!"
"And it's wrapping around her!" Ricky added.
"That can't be good," (Y/N) said meekly.
"But it's working!" Dicky chirped.
Soon enough, the tractor finally stopped, and Dawn sat in the tractor seat, mouth agape with fear in her eyes. "Guys, a little help?" she asked.
(Y/N) immediately ran forward to untangle her best friend. But the boys stood back. "No thanks," Dicky said. "We need to find out where that cord came from!"
They all ran into the barn, while (Y/N) grunted. "Jerks," she cursed.
Dawn rolled her eyes. "Thank YOU, (Y/N)."
"Still no use, though, it's really tangled."
The blonde groaned and - while she was still tied up - hopped into the barn, glaring at her brothers. "I SAID, 'a little help?'"
"Oh, sure," Dicky said. "Your shoe's untied."
(Y/N) put her hands on her hips and squinted her eyes at him. "What?"
Dawn looked down and tripped over the wire, yelping as she rolled on the floor as she fell. But, as soon as she came up, she was free. "Wow, that actually worked." The boys nodded in satisfaction.
Then, Nicky turned around. "Uh, guys?" He ran to the air conditioner and grabbed its cord. "I think I found what that cord was plugged into."
The others stared in horror. "The magic cooling box," Dicky gasped.
"It stopped blowing," Ricky pointed nervously. "There's no magic!"
"The sculptures are gonna melt!" Nicky cried.
"And judging by this heat, I'm guessing that's gonna be soon," (Y/N) said darkly.
"Uh, don't worry!" Dawn tried to reassure. "I can just plug the cord back in." But when she picked up the end of the cord, she was horrified to see the plug was broken. "Now we might have a problem."
"We need to get another extension cord, fast!" Ricky said. "Look!" He reached over to swipe at his head's cheek and frowned. "I already have a butter tear."
"You mean a but-tear," (Y/N) snickered. Ricky stared at her. "Too soon?"
"I think so."
"Don't worry," Dawn scoffed. "I mean, how fast can butter melt? Come on!"
"I'll stay and watch them," (Y/N) offered. The quads nodded, and they ran out of the barn.
But as soon as they came back, they witnessed a frantic, panicked (Y/N) fanning a folder at four yellow puddles on the table where the butter head sculptures used to be. "Come on, how fast can butter melt?!" Dawn shrieked.
"I'm sorry, I did try to stop them from melting!" (Y/N) panted.
"No offense, (Y/N)," Dicky said. "But I don't think fanning themnow will do anything."
"She's doing her best," Nicky scolded.
The (H/C)-haired girl groaned. "They were dripping like popsicles on a hot summer day. But it's too disgusting to lick them so I didn't try." She choked on a sob as she patted the table. "They were gone too fast." Nicky walked over to rub her shoulder.
"What are we gonna do?" Nicky asked his siblings.
"I got something that'll help," Dicky said confidently. He revealed the bag of bread that he'd been holding behind his back. The other four stared at him in disbelief. "What? Can't let all this butter go to waste." He swiped a piece of bread on his sculpture's puddle and took a bite. "Mm. My butter lump tastes good."
"Dicky," (Y/N) sighed. "...Let me have some." He helped out the bag to her and she took a piece, while the other three stared at her, even more shocked than with Dicky. She swiped her bread on Nicky's lump. "You guys are delicious."
"(Y/N)!" Ricky scolded. "Focus!"
"I'm more delicious," Nicky huffed, arms crossed. Ricky and Dawn stared at him, more shocked than ever.
"Just go check if Mom, Dad, or Aunt Jackie saw anything," Dawn scolded.
Nicky nodded and ran out. Dawn leaned on the table, groaning. "Any idea on how to tell your parents you blew it again?" (Y/N) asked.
"Hey, YOU'RE the one who was supposed to keep us from doing any shenanigans," Dicky said, setting the bread down. "If anything, this is all on you." (Y/N) glared at him and kicked his shin. "OW!"
Nicky ran back into the barn, panting. "Okay, Mom and Dad are still asleep," he reported.
Ricky groaned. "What are we gonna do? This is a disaster!"
"I know," Dicky agreed. "Now we'll never be able to post our Quadgoals picture."
(Y/N) raised an eyebrow at the boy. "You might want to look at the 'much-bigger-than-you' problem right now, Dicky."
"Yeah, (Y/N)'s right," Ricky nodded. "Aunt Jackie NEEDS this win! So we've gotta fix the sculptures BEFORE she gets back with the judges."
"How?" Nicky asked. "None of us can sculpt!"
"Maybe I can," Dawn offered. "I mean, I did take a pottery class last summer. I can just use some of this butter and see what I can do. In the meantime, you guys get more butter."
"Where are we gonna get enough butter to fix this?"
Suddenly, Carol started mooing. "Quiet down, Carol," Dicky said loudly. "We're trying to think of where we can get butter!" Nicky and Ricky shook their heads at him and walked towards the cow. "Now where DOES butter come from?" The cow mooed once more. "CAROL!"
(Y/N) gave a long sigh and patted his shoulder. "Dicky, let's just talk about it when all of this is over. For now, we need Carol's milk."
"Why do we need milk when we need BUTTER?"
"Good lord, save me."
The boys worked to move Carol out of her stall. They positioned her in front of the table and Ricky grabbed a metal bucket. (Y/N) crouched down beside Nicky, who crouched beside his brothers as the four took a long look at Carol's udders.
Nicky took (Y/N)'s hand, wrinkling his nose. "Alright, so what do we do?" he asked.
"Don't ask me," (Y/N) said. "I'm the one who's never been on a farm before."
"We, uh, we grab one," Ricky said. He stood and put their metal bucket under Carol. "Just like shakin' hands with an old lady." He cracked his knuckles and grabbed an udder. "...An old lady with one gross, boneless finger."
"Come on, Ricky, it can't be that bad!"
Ricky gave her a look and pursed his lips as he watched milk drip in the bucket. "It's oozing!"
"Oh gross–"
"Ugh, oozing?" Dicky repeated. "I'm in." Ignoring Nicky's disgust, he rolled up his sleeves ad crawled over. He grabbed two udders and squeezed. "Yeah, this feels right."
"Doesn't look right," (Y/N) gagged.
"Come on you two," Ricky called. "Grab an old lady finger."
(Y/N) looked at Nicky. "I think we'll pass," The boy nodded in agreement.
Dicky reached out to pet Carol. "I think they're beautiful, Carol."
"Uh, guys?" Dawn suddenly called out. "I took a stab at it."
There was butter all over her hands and some on her face, but she seemed to be doing one of the heads. She turned it around to reveal that she hadn't done a head at all, but something far scarier. The four shrieked when they saw it, and Nicky instinctively covered (Y/N)'s eyes.
"STAB IT!" Dicky yelled.
"I thought you said you could sculpt!" Nicky exclaimed.
"I didn't say I could sculpt, I said I took a pottery class!" Dawn corrected.
"What does that have to do with sculpting?!"
"Clearly nothing!"
(Y/N) grunted and forced Nicky's hands away from her eyes. "What are you guys gonna do now?" she groaned. "Your aunt and judges are coming any minute!"
"We know, (Y/N)! How do you think we feel?"
"I blame myself. I should've stopped you guys from doing shenanigans more."
"Don't blame yourself, love," Nicky assured, patting her shoulder.
Dawn sighed. "Howare we gonna sculpt all of this butter to look exactly like our faces?"
Suddenly, Ricky's eyes lit up and swiped the butter on Dawn's head so it spread more. "Who said we have to sculpt it?" he asked with a smirk.
Dicky furrowed his brows. "Dawn just did," The other four gave him dirty looks again. "Am I the only one who listens?"
"Okay, I'm going to just feed you the answer this time," (Y/N) said loudly, gripping his shoulder. "We're going to put butter on your face and you're gonna like it."
The boy nodded frantically. "Yes ma'am pelase let go ma'am."
~~~
It took the whole hour, but eventually, the quads successfully managed to cut four holes where the butter sculptures used to be, and (Y/N) successfully put butter on their whole heads to make it look like they were the sculptures as soon as they placed them through the table. She wiped sweat off her brow now with her arm, her hands still covered with butter as she nodded at the quads.
"You guys look perfect," she declared.
The four grinned at each other. "Thanks again for helping, (Y/N)!" Dawn chirped.
"Eh, what kind of best friend would I be if I didn't? You each owe me ice cream after this."
Ricky rolled his eyes. "Yes we love you too."
"I'll go wash this butter off and hopefully the judges will be here soon and we can get all of this over and done with."
"Do I still get a butter kiss for good luck?" Nicky asked hopefully. (Y/N) laughed and pecked his lips.
"Ew," the other three groaned.
"Get used to it already!"
(Y/N) crossed her butter-y fingers and ran off to wash her hands.
~~~
When she came back, she was shocked to see the judges and other contestants were already there. She ran into the barn quickly. Luckily, they were looking over at Carol. Anne and Tom seemed to smile in relief when they saw the girl. "(Y/N), great!" Anne exclaimed breathlessly. "Where are the quads?"
"Uh," (Y/N) faltered and gestured at the sculptures. "Right there!" She was joking to them, but they didn't need to know the truth.
"Okay, cute (Y/N), but really, where are they?"
"Hey," Tom suddenly said. He crouched and leaned closer to the heads. "Did Butter Dawn just wiggle her nose?" He stared at the head, who had a fly on her nose.
(Y/N)'s own eyes widened. "Uh...no I didn't see anything."
"Yeah, I don't know about that," Anne said. Then she gasped when she saw Butter Dawn glare at the fly. "But she just opened her eyes."
"You're just hallucinating, Mrs. Harper!"
"Stop opening youtube eyes!" Butter Dicky scolded.
Anne and Tom let out a loud yell, causing the others to turn and look at them. "Guess it's hard to hallucinate that," (Y/N) murmured. She quickly put a finger to her lips.
"We mean..." The parents pretended to shout in delight. Tom laughed nervously. "It looks just like our real kids!"
"Who are still not here," Anne put in. They continued to laugh nervously. The crowd was convinced and went back to look at Carol. Then, the parents went to glare at their kids.
"What the heck are you kids doing?!"
"(Y/N), you were supposed to watch them!"
The girl tried to explain but Nicky interrupted. "Don't blame her, this was all an accident!" Nicky whisper-shouted.
"The details aren't important," Dawn said, her voice hushed too. "All you need to know is that we ruined another one of Aunt Jackie's entries."
"Accidentally," (Y/N) repeated meekly.
"And THIS was your way of fixing it?!" Anne demanded.
"They're doing their best, Mrs. Harper!"
"I know, (Y/N), but you have NO idea what could happen, or what my sister would do!"
"Should we just tell Aunt Jackie the truth?" Ricky asked.
"No no no no no no. Absolutely not. She NEEDS this win!"
"Just shut your eyes and be better butter!" Tom instructed.
"And that leads us to my masterpiece!" Jackie said loudly, gesturing back to the heads.
"Yep!" (Y/N) laughed nervously. "Just...super cool amazing totally-made-of-butter head sculptures of my very best friends! Who have a good reason for why they're not here!"
Anne laughed nervously as well. "That's right but it only takes a quick glance to see that this is a winner!"
"Oh no no, really feast your eyes on it," Jackie insisted. "Really soak it in!"
(Y/N) lifted a finger as the judges approached the table. "You really don't have to–"
"I said soak!" The girl jumped back and Anne pulled her close.
The judges started examining the heads. The (H/C)-haired girl feared for them, wondering how well they could keep still. She was practically hodling her breath as well, especially since the male judge in particular was examining Ricky very, very closely. But eventually, finally, they all pulled away, and the male judge nodded at the other two lady judges before speaking. "Well, this is the most realistic butter sculpture we've ever seen!" he declared. "This one ever appeared to...weep!"
"Oh Ricky bless you," (Y/N) murmured, choking on air.
"We have our winner!"
Jackie exclaimed happily as the judge handed her the blue ribbon. (Y/N), Anne, and Tom all looked at each other and sighed in relief "Ohh, yes!" The blonde woman smiled as she got her picture taken with the man. "I SO needed this win!" She shoved the ribbon in the direction of the other people in the crowd. "IN your face, ladies! You too, Rusty!" They all just gave her scowls. "Oh, let's get one with Carol!" She walked to her cow to bring her out of the stall.
"Let me help you, Aunt Jackie," (Y/N) offered, and the two brought the cow out.
"Okay Carol, picture time! This time don't make the duck face!" Jackie held Carol's harness and posed for the camera.
But, as Jackie was posing, (Y/N) gasped when she saw Carol's big, wet cow tongue reach out to lick Dicky's cheek. The boy lost it immediately. He yelled in shock, and his three other siblings yelled as well. This obviously drew attention to everyone else, and they screamed too.
"Ahh!" Anne and Tom went along and pretended to be surprised.
"Ahhh!" Somehow, Jackie was immediately seated in her butter churner once she realized what was happening, and was now stress-churning.
(Y/N) sighed and gestured at the four. "Come out, guys," she said sadly. They started moving, disappointed looks on their faces.
"Sorry Jackie, but as you know," the male judge began. "Dipping children in butter is a definite disqualification." He reached out and Jackie reluctantly placed the blue ribbon back into his hand. He walked over to the quads, who stood behind the tables. "I'd be surprised if this was even butter at all."
"B-But it is!" (Y/N) exclaimed. "Just taste them!" The quads gave her weird looks. "That's a sentence I never thought I'd say."
The male judge raised an eyebrow and swiped two fingers over Ricky's head. He tasted the butter and his eyes widened. "Mmm. Actually it IS butter! Some of the best I've ever had!" Jackie smiled weakly. "You may have lost the ribbon for your sculpture, but you deserve one for best home-churned butter!" He proudly handed the ribbon right back to her. "First prize goes to you!"
The quads and (Y/N) exchanged happy looks as Jackie giddily took back her ribbon. "Yes!" she cheered. "I AM a winner!" She posed for the camera once again and then shoved it at the ladies' direction once again. "IN YOUR FACES!" She smiled again and ran over to hug (Y/N) and Anne. "Oh, I'm so excited, I can't wait to tell Mom!" Anne chuckled. "If only I had cell service. I hate this farm." She moved through the crowd, holding her ribbon up high. "Outta my way, Rusty!"
(Y/N) slowly leaned towards Anne. "Still fun-loving–"
"Nope, a nut," Anne declared. "100% nut."
The girl chuckled and walked over to the quads. The woman who was taking pictures also stood. "Uh, excuse me?" Dawn called out. "Do you think you could email us that picture?"
"Yeah," Nicky agreed. "We need it for something."
"Oh, sure," the woman replied.
"Can you possibly do it within the day?" (Y/N) asked hopefully.
The camerawoman suddenly gasped when she looked at her. "W-Wait, you're (Y/N) (L/N)--!"
"Yeah, take a picture, it'll last longer, just send the picture quicker please!"
She nodded frantically and snapped some pictures of (Y/N). After the girl gave the email address, the camerawoman left. "You guys got your Quadgoals pic!" (Y/N) congratulated.
"Thanks, (Y/N)!" Ricky exclaimed.
"We still have to post it, though!" Dawn reminded.
(Y/N)'s phone and chimed and she checked it with a smile. "We can head to town right now and do it!"
"How are we going to get there?" Dicky asked. "It's still too far to walk."
"Alright then, how about we all come together and really learn how to drivethat tractor?"
Nicky chuckled and put an arm around her shoulders. "Or we can actually ask Aunt Jackie to drive us this time?"
"That works too!"
~~~
Sorry but I'm gonna have to fast forward.
Anne drove the kids to town, while scolding them and grounding them from TV for a week ("Better than two weeks," (Y/N) joked.), and when they got there, they uploaded their picture on FaceShack. Surprisingly, the Kramdens hadn't posted theirs yet. But even if they hadn't posted it, they couldn't beat the many knocks the Harpers got on their post. It was also (Y/N)'s idea to put "werebutterthanthekramdens" as their hashtag.
After one more day on the farm - Nicky and (Y/N) spent more time hanging out together with the animals - (Y/N) and the Harpers went back home. And the quads were delighted to see four familiar siblings sitting in the cafe, glaring at their phone. The Harpers leaned over them, with (Y/N) watching at the side.
"Harpers," the Kramdens cursed.
"Kramdens," the Harpers sang out.
"(L/N)," (Y/N) chirped.
"Well, it looks like you win the Quadgoals hashtag," Jules (?) said defeatedly.
"Yes!" Dawn cheered. "In your adorable little faces!"
"We so needed this win!"
(Y/N) raised an eyebrow. "You guys? Really?"
"Yeah," Lyle said sadly. "You know how we lost the commercial AND the bobsled race to them."
This made them quiet. The Hapers seemed to have a quad-telepathy because no one said anything when Ricky started saying, "I guess you can use the hashtag too–"
"NOPE!" (Y/N) said loudly, putting a hand over Ricky's chest (the same way he did when he stopped Dawn and Dicky back on the farm). "No they can't ya'll are losers, you gotta deal with it!"
"But (Y/N)!" Emma complained.
"SUCK IT UP! WOOOO!"
(Y/N) laughed loudly and pointed at them mockingly. The Kramdens just stared in disbelief that their idol just did that, but the Harpers watched happily as their friend ran out of the store shouting, "SUCK. IT. UPPPP!"
"I love this girl so much," Nicky giggled.
Dawn nodded and patted his shoulder. "So do we."
~~~
I'm gonna go ahead and post this without editing again and not come back for maybe two weeks HAHAHA