Pihu couldn't sleep. She had been trying for the past 3 hours, but no matter how hard she tried, sleep seemed to elude her. She had managed to get in a few 5-minute periods of rest, only to continually be jerked awake by a door being opened, the servants walking around, or other creaking noises that wandered through the house. Now, sitting up in bed, Pihu took a moment to look around the bedroom gingerly, being careful so as not to wake up her mother, Priya, who was fast asleep next to her.
The room was comfortable, and Pihu liked how big it was, but something about it was still a bit intimidating. I don't know if I like this place, thought Pihu. I didn't really want to come here, anyways. Still, she had arrived at the front door of the Kapoor mansion anyway, to apologize to the blue-eyed man who lived there. The same man she had yelled at when he brought her the pill bottle she had dropped. The same man who caught her mother as she fainted. That man...
His name was Ram Kapoor, as Pihu had found out this afternoon. Before that, Pihu had preferred to call him Mr. Khadoos. He certainly acted that way when she first met him at that bakery in the mall. He was very curt then, and also a little flustered. He didn't even want to give me that cupcake, thought Pihu with mild annoyance. She'd tricked him into giving her that cupcake and that had been the end of that strange meeting. She also managed to make him laugh, a warm, soft laugh that Pihu recalled with a faint smile playing at the corners of her lips.
She had thought about that laugh for a few days after meeting Ram, but eventually thought better of it. It wasn't like she was going to see him again. But, she did meet him again and again. At each meeting they bickered a bit, mostly in jest, and Pihu was left wondering why this man seemed to dislike her a little. Until that fateful night where he saved her from falling into that manhole. He was nice to me then.
They also met today, just as Ram caught Priya in his arms. Pihu was worried at the sight of this. Nothing had happened to her mother before. Still, she watched as Ram lifted her mother into his arms and brought her to a room upstairs. He also said something to that rather mean man with the glasses. The man was a minister apparently. Pihu didn't understand what Ram said to him, but she didn't really care either. She wanted her mother to be okay.
He helped my mama. He also helped me that day. He's nice. Maybe I should tell him thank you. Making a mental note to thank Ram in the morning, Pihu decided to make another attempt at falling asleep.
The sudden sound of tinkling glass startled her, and she sat up again. I can't sleep at all, Pihu mused. Maybe water will help. Reluctantly, Pihu made her way out of the room and down the stairs.
"Damn it," said Ram softly. After seeing Adi and Brinda off, he had returned to the bar to clear things up when his hand brushed up against a whiskey glass, knocking it over with a crash. Ram hastily asked Tarun to clear up the mess and made his way to the stairs, hoping the noise hadn't been loud enough to wake anyone, especially the person currently in his room. Priya...
The thought of her made Ram pause momentarily, only for him to collapse on the black sofa in the living room. He never thought he was going to see Priya again, not after what she'd told him 5 years ago. I cheated on you. This baby isn't yours. Ram didn't believe a word of it then, even now he didn't. Still, he'd been forced to accept the fact that for some reason, Priya didn't want to be with him anymore. After losing Shivina, that made him feel like the air had been knocked out of his lungs.
He was angry, no, furious, at her, that was for sure. Yet, when he met her again at that mall, he was shocked. A part of him was also a bit pleased. Ram realized then, that he still loved her. He probably always would. And he hated himself for it, hated himself for loving someone who didn't seem to want him anymore. She seemed to have moved on rather quickly, with that investigator...the very thought of him made Ram want to punch something. His face, preferably, thought Ram.
If only he wasn't so trusting, if only he had refused to hire the man, things would have been different. Priya still would have been with me. There it was again, that nagging thought. It always came up, and Ram did very little to fight it. He was too tired, of feeling, caring, doing anything. It had never been enough. All he felt now was an ache in his heart. An ache, that for a brief moment had been eased by a little girl he'd met very briefly. That girl...
They had run into each other at a bakery, when they both had tried to order the same thing, a double chocolate cupcake. Ram, in his desperation to avoid someone, had agreed to give the cake to the little girl in exchange for her help. It was an odd choice, now that Ram considered it, she was only 5. But, the girl kept her end of the bargain well. He also laughed again. For the first time in 5 years, Ram said to himself. Because of her.
He didn't know she was Priya's daughter then, but he found out a few days after the fact. Needless to say, the knowledge was devastating for him. He recalled how euphoric he had felt the day he learned that Priya was pregnant. He was falling into a dark abyss, but the news of becoming a father had been like a light, a glimmer of hope, in that darkness. That too, was snatched from him, and the abyss had swallowed him whole. Now, Priya and the girl - no, Pihu, her name is Pihu, Ram - were in his house again, in his room in fact. And it felt like an old wound had been opened again.
Ram had noticed her eyes of course, when she came to the mansion today. They were a bright greenish blue. Just like mine, he said, but quelled the thought immediately. Priya quite clearly said Pihu was not his. Even so, a small, selfish part of him wanted to hope. He had wanted all of this with Priya, a family, a child. Ram had thought about those things ever since he fell in love with Priya. That chance was taken from him, rather cruelly, and he didn't feel he had the right to think on this any further. The emotional fatigue that wore on him seemed to get worse at this moment.
As his head swirled with confusing thoughts, Ram leaned back against the cushions, not knowing how to feel about anything. He closed his eyes and let his body relax a bit, hoping to ease the tension that coursed through his muscles all day.
Pihu was at the bottom of the staircase, attempting to feel her way through the dark. She felt her legs brush up against what felt like a sofa, and slowly she reached her tiny hands out, hoping to figure out where she was. Her hands ran along the edge of a coffee table. Then, she felt a jug and a small glass. As she went to grab it, she tripped slightly and fell to the side, reaching to grab something, anything for support. The thing in question was Ram's right thigh, which he felt, breaking him out of his reverie.
"What are you doing down here? Tarun, turn on the lights, didn't you see Pihu walking here?" The lights came on, and Pihu quickly withdrew her hands, standing up straight. "I-I'm sorry Mr. Kapoor, I didn't m-mean," Pihu started awkwardly. "That's quite alright. You're not hurt are you?" replied Ram.
He leaned forward slightly, attempting to check for injuries. Pihu moved back slightly, and Ram followed suit, not wanting to scare her. "I'm ok," said Pihu. "What are you doing down here?" asked Ram. "Oh, I-I, um, water, I wanted water," replied Pihu. "Of course. Grab that glass behind you, I'll pour you some," said Ram.
Pihu held up the glass. As he poured water from the jug, Pihu gazed at him. It was the first time she had looked at him properly. He had eyes just like hers, and his features looked soft in the room's light. Pihu thought his face looked nice, but he also looked tired, like he wasn't sleeping properly. She felt a bit nervous around him, but at that moment, she felt something else too. She felt safe.
As Pihu stood there, looking at him, she didn't notice when Ram had finished pouring. Ram looked at her small, curious face. "Why are you looking at me like that?" he said with an amused expression on his face. Pihu, suddenly realizing that she had stared at him, quickly gulped down her water, coughing a little. She hadn't meant for him to notice, and the fact that he had only increased her nervousness.
"Hey, hey. Drink slowly, it's alright. Take your time," said Ram gently. There was a small sparkle in his eyes as he said it, and it made Pihu smile a little. "I-I like your eyes. They're p-pretty," stammered Pihu. "Thank you, that's very sweet," replied Ram with a smile and a look of mild surprise. He was expecting Pihu to be awkward around him, but he definitely wasn't expecting a compliment from her. "Uh..." Pihu looked down at her feet awkwardly. "Are you ok?" asked Ram. "Yeah," said Pihu awkwardly.
Ram gave her a soft smile. He could sense the discomfort she felt, and he felt a bit guilty. The minister had said some rather nasty things in her presence, and Ram hoped she hadn't heard any of it. She was worried about her mother, she shouldn't have had to hear such insensitivity from a man like that. Ram had half a mind to punch the minister in the face, just as he had wanted for that irritating investigator. Suddenly alarmed by the violence in his thoughts, he turned his attention back to Pihu.
"Do you want me to walk you back to your room?" he said after a moment. "Um, yes please, " replied Pihu. Ram held out his hand and, hesitantly, Pihu took it. He was guiding her towards the staircase slowly, when lightning started to crackle outside. The noise startled Pihu, who grabbed on to Ram's waist tightly and hid her face. Ram was a bit taken aback, but he went to comfort her.
"What's wrong, Pihu?" he asked, kneeling down to her level. Another crackle of lightning startled Pihu and she latched on to Ram again, hugging him. Ram wrapped his arms around her, stroking her hair gently while saying, "It's all ok, don't worry, nothing's going to happen. I'm here with you, it's alright now. Just take a few deep breaths."
Pihu did as he asked. "I don't like this," she squeaked softly. "The lightning?" said Ram. "Yes, it's too loud. The rain's not fun when it's like this," responded Pihu. Her arms were still around Ram's neck, and she looked a bit calmer now. She still had a scared expression on her face, and Ram thought it was cute. It made him want to giggle a bit.
"You like the rain a lot, don't you?" he mused. "Yes!" said Pihu, brightening up a bit. "I love playing and jumping in the puddles and I like my blue raincoat, but if I play too much I get sick. So I have to take medicine." The words came out of her very quickly, and Ram couldn't help but laugh a little at that. "Why are you laughing at me?" asked Pihu, confused. "Oh no, I'm not laughing at you," said Ram quickly. "I was laughing with you. You sounded very sweet."
Pihu smiled, wider this time, and asked, "Do you like the rain, Mr. Kapoor?" The question caught Ram off guard. It had been a while since anyone had asked him about himself. "I-I guess I like looking at it," Ram managed to say. There was a slight strain in his voice that he hoped wasn't obvious.
"Me too. I guess we have something in common then." Pihu flashed Ram a toothy grin as she said these words. Ram smiled back too. He felt a lot lighter somehow. The emotional fatigue he had felt previously seemed to melt away.
The lightning crackled again and Pihu grabbed Ram's arms. "It's ok, it's ok. We'll walk back to your room together, don't worry," said Ram. "No, no I don't want to go near it," said Pihu. "Near what?" "The noise. It's over there, I'm not going close to it. Too scary." Ram looked down at her as she looked up at him. He smiled delicately and said, "We can wait here till the noise stops. Only if you want to." "O-ok."
Pihu sat down on the sofa, still holding Ram's arms. Ram was pulled down with her. They remained like that for a few moments, not saying anything to each other. After a while, Pihu yawned and rubbed her eyes. "Tarun, bring Pihu a blanket, she'll get cold here," asked Ram.
He brought the blanket, and Ram wrapped it around Pihu tightly. "You can have some of it too," said Pihu, holding out the rest of the blanket. Ram took the other end of the blanket, covering his legs with it.
A few more moments passed before Pihu said, so softly he had to lean in to hear her, "Thank you, Mr. Kapoor." "For what?" he asked, surprised again. "I don't know. Everything, I guess." As she said this, her eyelids grew heavier. A few seconds later, she was asleep. Ram smiled to himself for a minute, and before he knew it, he had fallen asleep too.
For the first time in 5 years, it was the best night of sleep Ram ever had.