|Jungkook's POV|
Fate: the development of events outside a person's control, regarded as predetermined by a supernatural power.
"fate decided his course for him"
The second my ears picked up on the beeping of the green light I didn't think twice before going to cross the road. With Jimin following slightly behind me I focused on the destination I was trying to get to, that is before I got snapped into reality by Jimins afraid cry out. Only then did I notice a pair of blinding lights heading straight towards me. Too stunned to do anything it almost felt like I've accepted my fate right there and then.. Well.. Maybe accepting it wasn't that bad of a choice after all?..
It's not like I had much to loose...
With a single blink I watched as the truck sped past me, not stopping, not slowing down.. as quick as it appeared it disappeared.. "Are you fucking stupid?! Do you have some kind of stupid death wish that you don't even pay attention to what's going on around you!?" While the shock from my near death slowly left my body, Jimin continued to curse me out whilst lecturing me as he tightly gripped the back of my shirt, not letting me go out of the embrace I've found myself in.. it didn't take me long to notice he was crying.. but.. why was I crying?.. "Jimin.. who's death are you mourning so much?" I asked feeling a slight kick in the bottom of my stomach that helped me muster up my courage to inquire him about today. As if mentioning a curse Jimin fell silent and his grip tightened. Ah.. I guess he won't tell me after all.. I sighed softly and patted the guy on the back as if to tell him I'm completely okay and that we can resume on our way home. As he slowly pulled away it didn't take long for me to notice the extra warmth I received while Jimin held onto me, it almost felt more cold than before because of that.. but maybe that was due to the adrenaline leaving..
After about twenty minutes we entered the neighbourhood area, it seemed like Jimin has calmed down a lot which was a good sign. We turned a corner and Jimins house was in eye's view, that's when I decided to stop the guy and ask once more: "Hey.. you sure you don't wanna talk about it?.." Jimin took a while to think about my question and right as I was about to dismiss it once more Jimin finally broke his silence. "When I was younger.. at the time that my parents left me and my brother my aunt lived in Seoul so we had to form a new life there, it was really hard for me.. knowing that my parents abandoned me and Jihyun.. it just hurt.." I watched as Jimin grimaced at the single thought of his parents.. I couldn't tell if he resented them or missed them, I guess it could be both.. similarly to me.. "Thankfully Jihyun was too young to understand back then so adapting to the new environment was easier for him.. me on the other hand.." Jimin took a pause whilst sighing "I took it all out on my aunt and after it all passed I met Seokjin.." so I was right, this person wasn't Jimin's family, then how important was he for Jimin? Who was he to Jimin? "Seokjin was my comfort, my helping hand.. I cherished him so much and I wished the best for him. We became inseperable, we did almost everything together. We onced pranked our teacher and got away with it.." I honestly couldn't believe what I was hearing. Jimin? A prankster? No way, this sounds nothing like Jimin. "Then one day we had an argument.. you see Seokjin got a girlfriend and she was a bit too possessive of him and when I started pointing that out he didn't take it too well so we argued. Eventually he had enough of my whining and left and I ran after him, I followed him all the way to the main road and when he realised I was catching up he-" Suddenly Jimin stopped mid sentence, his eyes instantly filled with tears and his breath became uneven. He was struggling.. he was struggling a lot and I had no idea what to do to try and help him.. "He crossed the road on a red light and a truck- a truck came around the corner and.. and.." Without another word I pulled Jimin into a tight hug. It was obvious he's been blaming himself for that incident..
"I'm sorry Jimin.. I'm so sorry.." was all I could say at that point. He didn't say anything else, just cried.. I made him recall that moment, all because I wanted to know, because my curiosity wouldn't disappear.. now I also understood his reaction from earlier.. for fucks sake do I always have to know everything?.. "I think you should go home now.." I whispered, struggling not to cry from the guilt. Jimin shook his head, "can I stay with you instead?" He asked, his voice trembling every other syllable. Although his request puzzled me, I didn't dare declining, I felt like I kinda owed him a favour now that I forced an explanation out of him.. "Alright.. let's go to my place then.."
Walking into my home I quickly realise I left it completely trashed.. unwashed plates, messy floor.. it was honestly quite embarrassing but I think Jimin didn't care at that point.. "I'll get you a change of clothes and a towel, whilst you shower I'll make you a cup of tea and get the bedding sorted, does that sound okay with you?" I questioned wanting to make sure he's as comfortable as he can get but rather than a proper response Jimin just nodded.. I wasn't expecting him to talk anymore today, I think he had enough.. After giving him a fresh pair of sweat pants and a plain tee I watched as he made his way into the bathroom until I heard the sound of the lock being turned. I scratched my neck still being unable to grasp the whole situation and then returned to preparing everything.
The second I finished preparing the bedding for myself I went to the kitchen to make two cups of tea. Whilst waiting for the water to boil I heard the shower stop and eventually Jimin came into the kitchen. Turning to look at him I couldn't help but notice how he kind of sunk into my clothes, I guess I was a size or two up from him.. "Sorry about this.." Jimin muttered, avoiding eye contact. "You're sorry? What about? I'm the one who pryed it all out from you.. I should be the one apologising.." I replied, my voice getting quieter the more I spoke. Jimin shook his head, "it's fine, you probably would've found out one way or another.." as he said that he pulled out a chair at the kitchen table and sat down, watching as I poured the hot liquid into two separate mugs. I didn't reply to him, I felt like if I said anything more I'd kill the mood more.
Placing the mug in front of him and mine on the other side I once again sat across from Jimin who wouldn't look at me.. it's weird, it's as if we got further away from each other but at the same time we've never been closer than now.. is there a word for this?.. I sigh while standing up, not being able to withstand this silence any longer, "I'll go have a shower.. I've replaced the bedsheets in my room so whenever you're ready for bed feel free to go to sleep.. I'll see you in the morning.." I said before taking my leave only to be stopped by Jimin's light touch. "Where are you sleeping?" He asked slightly turning his head so I could hear him better. "In the living room" was my response. "Sleep in your room.. with me.. I just don't wanna be alone.. " He mumbled as he finally looked up at me. His eyes filled with emotions ranging from fear to confusion and probably much more than that. I took a second to process his words but in the end I just nodded and Jimin let go of my sleeve allowing me to do my business.
Having a refreshing shower I made my way back to the kitchen where I realised Jimin had left. I finished my now cold cup of tea and left it in the sink and walked to my room. I stopped at the door, hesitating to open it for a split second. Why am I nervous? We shared a bedroom before so why is it suddenly nerve wrecking for me? I shook those thoughts away and walked into my room. Jimin was seemingly asleep therefore I made my best efforts not to be too loud while setting up my bedding on the floor next to the bed. Walking up to my desk I flipped the switch on my lamp and allowed the room to be swallowed by darkness, once my eyes got used to it I carefully made my way back to my bedding before getting as comfortable as I could and closing my eyes in hopes to quickly fall asleep.
"Jungkook?.." I opened my eyes trying to figure out if Jimin really did just call out to me or not, considering it was as quiet as the sound of a buzzing bee. I hummed in response knowing that if I'm just imagining things I could just pretend I talk in my sleep, "do you also believe that he died because of me?.. Am I really at fault here?.." Jimin continued, his voice trembling as if he was trying not to cry again. I instantly sat up and turned to look at him even though I could barely see his silhouette, "of course not! It was an accident, you couldn't have seen that happening."
"Then why.. why was everyone blaming me?" There was no question in it.. he was definitely crying now..
"I don't know.."
"I guess my fate really is to be alone.." He whispered and at that point I got up, Jimin noticing me standing up also sat up. I grabbed his shoulders and even though it was dark as hell I made sure our eyes met. "Listen to me very carefully, I do not plan on leaving you, not by choice nor by force. I am here to stay. Wether you like it or not.." I said as honestly as I could but Jimin only continued weeping. "Why are you so nice to me?.. Why are you still by my side, after all the things I've done and said to you.. I just don't get it.." I slightly flinched for a second not expecting his question or maybe my instant response that I hesitated to say..
"I.. I like you.."
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-River