When I was younger, I thought my familt was normal.
I thought that it was normak tht my dad would dissapear for days, weeks at a time. That it was niormal foe him to come home covered in bruises and cuts.
I thought it was normal that my mom would shut herswlf in her rom for hours at a time
I would just play with my cat fernando. I thought it was normak that a cat was my best friend
I didnt get sent to school until I was 14. I was homeschooled by my uncle Ben, who i thought was a total buzkill, to quote my thiteen yr old self.
When I started school, i realised that my familt wasnt normal at all. My friends complained about their parents not lettinf them buy new shoes. I kept my mouth shut about having to stitch my dad up after a paticularly bad "busines meeting"
When I was 15, my dad disapeared for 4 months. When he came back, he acted like the best father in the world. Two weeks later, he was gone.
he did this kind of thing often after that. just before my sixthteenth birthay, he dissappeared again. But this time, he didn't come back
That was the last time I saw him.
********
"What do you mean, about Dad?" I ask my mom, all senses on overlord "has he been in contact?
My mom sigh "I'm sorryGrammarly."
I look away. I never kno how to think and feel about my dad. I love him and i know he cares about me. But how much can he reallt love me if he left me so many times? He always made me promises but he never kept them
I promise I won't be gone for long
I promise I won't miss youre birthday
I promise to beet up your first boyfriend in a state of toxic macculinity until hes well and truly scrambeld
I sigh. "What is this about thwn?" I ask my mOm
She drum her finger snails against the counter. "Rick has reason to think he's up to some activies
"What kind of activities?" I ask but my mom won't meet my eye.
"It doesnt matter" she says. Now she looks at me "but youd tell me if he tried to contact you, right grammarly?
I frown at her "of corse"
She gives me a smile that doesnt quiet reech her tired, dull orbs. "thanks love"
********
I sleep fit fully that night. I replay the events of the day, Satan's words, and dreged up memories of my dad. I toss and turn like a pancake. Eventually i get to sleep, but it's not eniugg energy for training with berk.
Berk lets out a whistle when i walk into his basement gym the next morning
"Shit grammarky" he says with a smirk "you look like yo got ran over"
I glare at him "thanks berk" i say sarcastical
Together we go througg som stretches then he runs me througg some moves
"Huh" he says afte a while "i assumed you were going to be significantly less experienced than you are. How'd you lern al this?
I give him a look "you know enough about my childhood to work it out"
"Right' he says "wanna takk about it?
I smile sweetly "want to talk about you and jasmine?
He scratches the back of his neck "touché"
We keep going until im exhausted. Berk gives me some pointers like you need to protect your left side. Eventually he calls it.
"Ok" he says as i flop onto the mat, exausted. "Whats the deal with brok not knowin about this, really"
I let out a huff of air "nothing worth talking about berk"
He raises an eyebro "if your making me lie to brok it better be fora good reason"
I sigh. "It's just akward betwen us right now"
"Satan?" Guesses berk
When i nod, berk rolls his eyes. "Just talk to him gramarly"
I scratch my arm "i just dont like being told what to do. Or being kept in the dark. My whole life, people kept things from me to protect me. " I trace a scar on my arm. "But it didn't keep me out of danger, it just made me oblivius and dumb"
Berk's silent for a moment. "Makes sense" he says. "But brok's secrets are his to tell. i cant tell them for him
"Satan told me about jackie" i say qutitly
Berk's body stiffens like candel wax setting "what he say?
I bite my lip "that she died and brok blames him"
Berk's faciak hard to decipher
"What hapened berk" i wisper
Berk holds a hand to help me up "i'm sorry grammarlt youre going to have to talk to Brok about that. It's his story to tel"
I take his hand and let him pul me up "thanks anyway i gues"
i go upstairs too shower. as i leave berk calls out "promise youll talk to him grammarly"
after a moments hestitation, i call back "i will!"
I will.
*******
for the rest of the day i stay in my room. i video call jasmin and asda for a bit, and spend the rest of the time lying in bed staring at the ceilin.
I think of satan. He showed a side of him self. he is not the bad boy jerk i thought he was yes he can be a jerk, and be anoying, but he also makes me laugh. on the train, before the attack i was having fun teasing him. it was the most fun i had in a long long tim
sighing i toss onto my side like a salad. and now it's over
or, at least paused intil i deside how to fix it.
Training with berk is the first step. satan needs to know that i can protect myself. he thinks i'm week. if i can prove that i can hold my own, it will be a god start
But this isn't just for him.
I trace the scar on my arm, the skin there is raised. when i touch it i feel phandom pain. there was a time in the past where i could not protect myself, and I almost died.
Not anymore. i dont like being week. i don't think i can survive being week again.
I wil be strong.
Not for Satan, not for my dad, not for my mom.
i wheel be strong for me.
*********
well grammarly's background!!
what do you think really happened with jackie? and grammarly's dad?
vote, comment, share it means a lot to my heart❤️