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"Oh my, it's still pouring out here," Yukimura commented from the porch of their private quarters. He sat in the doorway and allowed the cold breeze to wash over him and pass. Rain would sometimes sprinkle him just a little, but the roof made certain that he wouldn't get caught up in the everlasting chaos outside. It was a perfect place to watch the elements safely. Sometimes all one needed was to just be and enjoy the events of everyday life. It took him away from this war, away from the notion that Nohr was coming for Hoshido...yet it also brought back some unpleasant memories from the past...
"Would you care to join me?"
There was a long pause.
"Corrin?"
The tactician looked back into the room. His wife lay on the bed, completely covered by a blanket. She had been that way since he came back from work, and given that it was a little late, he had assumed she had just been exhausted from today. And maybe she still was, if that was the case, but...something made him feel the need to check up on her.
He stood and made his way across the small room to her. Corrin reacted to this by curling up more and trying to hide her face underneath a pillow. "No, I'm fine...please, enjoy yourself without me. I just need to rest and think about a few things right now," she explained, though it came out as muffled.
Yukimura wasn't fazed, however. If there was someone he could say he understood, it was Corrin. Just Corrin. Perhaps he's always been awkward or not as...part of a crowd as everyone else seemed to be, but around his wife, he felt confident and assured. He's opened up to her about his insecurities, and she's done the same back. They were in their own little world together, and nobody ever saw them like this behind the walls of their private quarters...
They were like figureheads in the army. Nobody could see them this way.
"Come now, is something bothering you? You know you can talk to me about anything," he said softly, and nudged Corrin slightly.
"Yukimura..."
"I don't mean to be nosey, but I couldn't help but notice how quiet you are tonight. You didn't greet me when I came home, and you haven't...ah, been yourself the entire time. Please tell me what's wrong, if anything. I would at least like to know if you're okay."
Another air of silence. Yukimura sighed, and looked down. "If you feel you can't discuss this now, I will wait until you're in a better mood. If you ever want to talk about it. Just know I'm here for you, if you need anything -"
His glasses slipped just then- a very common thing for him, actually - and landed right next to his leg. In a frantic attempt to pick them up, he accidentally stepped on the frames and broke them...again! For being such an educated man, one would think he'd stop breaking his glasses for once..
When he reached to scoop up the broken glasses, a hand hurried out from under the blanket and collected them for him.
"Oh, thank you, dear.." Yukimura sighed. "I'm sorry, I don't know how fitted glasses just fly right off.."
Corrin sat up now, still making sure the glasses were with her. Her eyes were dry and puffy from what could be assumed had been crying earlier. Not only that, but she also was sniffling. When her husband noticed this, he forgot about the glasses and came right to her side on the bed. Maybe she thought because his eyesight wasn't as good without his glasses, that she might be able to get away with looking like this, but...she should know better by now.
"Don't look so alarmed...here, let's get you one of your spares so you won't strain your eyes-"
"No, of course not! Corrin, forget that for a moment..." The tactician cupped her face and studied her. His vision wasn't as clear now, true, but he could still see what was important. His wife was absolutely not okay, and he intended to find out why. "I must insist that you tell me what's wrong. I'll help you in any way I can, I promise. I've always promised you that."
"I know, but..."
"But...?"
Corrin felt herself well up with shame. Yukimura was right, he did need to know what was going on with her. It was only fair. Besides, she needed to get it off her chest, but...
How could she make herself say it?
"I....I'm so sorry..." Her eyes gleamed with tears once more. She backed away from him and held her knees so he couldn't fixate on her crying face. This was exactly what she was afraid of. She felt his gentle hand on her back, but that wasn't enough to give her comfort right now.
"Love, I know you always tell me that everyone matters and that sacrificing one for countless other lives isn't what you believe in. It's never been what I believed in, either. And...I always did what I thought to be right, but not at the expense of lives. I've always wanted to save everyone, to...make sure everyone was alright. I'm the lost princess, I'm supposed to be a savior to my people..."
Corrin shook her head. "Then..why do I almost always fail them?"
Yukimura was taken aback by the confession. Yes, they were in a war, but he hadn't expected all of that to come pouring out. He figured Corrin was maybe stressed or had been through a rough day, but perhaps this was much deeper than he originally thought. Shame on him for that. He inwardly scolded himself.
"How could you fail us? You're doing your best out there. Any more would be too much," he replied. Corrin shook her head again.
"No, it's....I got someone really hurt today. Sakura insisted I allow Kaden some time to heal from a few light injuries, but I selfishly insisted he wait and try to hold off a few enemies with Jakob instead. I completely disregarded his well-being, and I wasn't even prepared, because....one of our enemies had a beast-slaying weapon. Kaden could've died...he ended up very badly injured, but that's not any better!"
She looked away completely, unable to face him. This master tactician must be thinking she had screwed up big time with an awful plan like that...
"Corrin," Yukimura sighed. "It's alright...look at me."
At first Corrin was reluctant, mainly because she felt guilty and not ready to face what it was her husband had to say, but she also couldn't ignore his plea. After all, if he was in a bad mood, she wouldn't let him either.
So she turned, but her eyes were still downcast.
"I love you so much, Corrin," Yukimura said softly. His finger brushed against a strand of her hair that had been out of place. "I don't think this war has been fair to any of us. If it wasn't for this fighting, we could live a simple and happy life together. You shouldn't have to act as a savior, and feel as if the losses of war are to be burdened by you....maybe in another lifetime, you didn't have to make the decisions you do now. But do you know what I think?"
Corrin sniffled, her eyes shifting upward to meet his. "Hm..?"
Yukimura smiled. It was the sweet and caring smile he showed her when she was feeling down, like the sun shining through the rainy clouds.
"My dear, your comrades all know what they're getting themselves into by choosing to defend Hoshido. The choice is never easy, but if they can stand beside you and believe in you, I doubt you're as terrible a leader as you're assuming. We all make mistakes...if you can rise above that and improve upon it, that's what matters. So, what do you think you'll do next time when a situation like that arises?"
"I...I'll allow my friend the chance to heal," Corrin said. "I won't be so careless next time." The answer sounded so simple and easy, but she couldn't believe that was enough to make things better. This was Kaden's life they were talking about; if he really had died, would Yukimura still act this way?
"Good. Then you've already taken a step to becoming a better leader."
He extended a hand to her. "Come with me. I want to show you something."
Holding the broken glasses in one hand, she took her husband's with her other, and began following him to the porch. Like earlier, he found a place to sit before patting a place beside him so Corrin could join as well. When she did, she leaned against his body with a small smile.
"I know it must be hard to forgive yourself for what happened, but I can promise you everyone in your position will make a mistake like that at least once...." Yukimura trailed off, so Corrin inquired with a small questioning hum. The tactician didn't even hesitate to answer that one. Corrin had every right to know.
"The night your father..." Yukimura sighed and took a deep breath to collect his emotions. It would do no good to fall apart right now, when Corrin herself was in a fragile mood. "King Sumeragi perished that night because I unknowingly urged him into King Garon's trap. As his aide, I was always wanting to be useful and prove myself to him. He was a father figure to me; he was special. But that night, I let my emotions get the best of me, and I foolishly killed off your father, Corrin..."
Corrin gasped a little and looked up. Yukimura was known and respected throughout Hoshido as a well-mannered, pleasant, and loyal individual who did all he could to serve the royal family without question. To know the man was much deeper than his reputation....it honestly made her feel better. Was that weird? Here he was confessing his mistake, while she was just glad he could tell her all this. He's been keeping it inside, after all.
"I like to come out on the porch during rainy days so I can reminisce," Yukimura continued. "It allows me to feel sorrow for King Sumeragi's passing. I still feel responsible for that. But after the rain stops and the sky clears; whenever you come out to check on me as the sun comes out...I can't help but feel I've been forgiven. And I hope that you feel the same way, in time."
In that moment, Corrin hugged her husband tightly. She set the glasses aside on the floor somewhere and allowed herself to fully feel the warmth of this embrace. The wind was blowing still, but she could hardly feel it right now. She was with him, and that's what she cared about.
"Thank you, Yukimura...I never thought that you would have a story like that, honestly. But if it helps, you weren't the one who killed my father. I know you feel responsible, but the only person who truly is, is King Garon. You were only trying to help, like you've always done. I'm sure my father would never hold that against you. He loved you, and so do I. You're the only person I think he would fully trust to be with his daughter, you know. It was fate."
Yukimura felt relieved too, though he probably showed no signs of it. For years, those thoughts and emotions had been harbored and restricted to only him knowing. Now that Corrin was here in his special spot, telling him not to worry about his own situation...
"I..truly do need you, don't I? Before, being by myself, I never wanted to think about that in another way..I wanted to hold myself accountable. I thought it was only fair.."
"And I was about to do the same thing," Corrin said. "But you told me that as a leader, you must grow and overcome your mistakes. So let's both be mindful of our slip-ups, but never allow it to consume us with grief. Follow the advice you give to me too, okay?"
Yukimura nodded shyly. Corrin had no idea how much like her parents she was. The way her eyes sparkled amidst the raindrops, the way her light voice contrasted against the dark sky...
The sun had already come out, it seemed.
"Alright. I promise. We'll do this together."
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When Corrin opened her eyes, sunlight flooded the world with golden streaks of light. Yukimura was leaning against the doorway sleeping, and without noticing at all that his wife had woken up. He was a very heavy sleeper, really. But Corrin had no intention of waking him up. Looking back on it now, she had no recollection of when they had fallen asleep here, or how. It didn't matter though. The view of the world wrapped in gold was a spectacular thing to wake up to. All she wanted was to enjoy this moment and remember the words said the night prior. Maybe later she would check up on Kaden.
And hopefully somehow, somewhere, her parents were watching from above and smiling down on them.
If they could see the two together right now, they would know that all was being taken care of in their absence; that all was well. And if they knew anything at all in this world for certain, they knew the love between Corrin and Yukimura- unlike so many things- could never be touched by the evils of the world.
Such was the way of things. Such was fate.
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