"Edmund Was The Air That I Breathed,
And Now There Is No Air."
[21]
✑
The day had passed by as quickly as it came, and we were at dinner with the Sharma family. But, something was completely off with Benedict as I sat next to him. Sweat stuck to his forehead and his eyes were glazed over as he practically stared at the candles lit around. He gulped deeply meanwhile I cut into the piece of steak I had prepared for me. You could hear indistinct chattering and laughing all around the table, it seems everyone was getting along quite well.
"This room is exceptionally well-lit. Have you noticed, Col?" He asked his brother who sat to his right. He looked... nearly guilty, glancing away from his brother at every given moment. "The twinkle of the candles, it is as—. It's as if we sit amongst the stars." He suddenly said dramatically. I looked at him with confusion.
"What is wrong with you?" I asked as the rest of us looked at him curiously. "I was just telling Benedict how brilliant the stars were in Greece." He said, clearly making up some excuse as to why Benedict was now gazing at me, sitting back in his chair. I looked over at him and noticed his brown eyes were completely dilated.
"Are you enjoying your time here, Miss Edwina?" I heard Daphne ask. She was quick to nod her head. "I am, very much. The buzz of the city is thrilling indeed, but I quite enjoy the peace of the country." She declared with a soft smile. Anthony agreed with a hum.
"As do I. Though I dare say. It is not quite so peaceful with my entire family in residence." He muttered to Edwina, who chuckled bashfully. Her eyes seemed to twinkle any time Anthony spoke to her. "I understand, my lord. Certainly, I cannot compare my family with your seven brothers and sisters, but, my sister and I were known to be a handful growing up too." She said to him. Anthony nodded his head with a chuckle.
"But Kate always has had my best interests at heart..." Edwina trailed off before I looked back at Benedict, who was now looking at the beaded gold on my dress. He was completely out of it. What did Colin give him? Some kind of alcohol of some sorts? He pulled at the gold trimming the waist of my dress. "Your dress... is impressively well made." He mumbled to himself before Benedict then drunkingly grabbed a piece of chicken from his plate and took a bite from it. He groaned, chewing obnoxiously as if it was the best meal he had ever eaten.
"It was a revelation. Made all the better by the knowledge that I may have been the Briton to see in decades." Colin said as he looked over at Kate who listened closely. Benedict threw back his head and groaned once more, I sighed before reaching for my glass of wine. But, he thought it would be wise choice to try and grab my glass as well, which made our hands bump against the glass, knocking it over.
I gasped before rolling my eyes, while Benedict threw his body back with a hearty chuckle. He grabbed onto my arm and planted his face into my shoulder. I looked down at him with a stone cold expression. "Benedict, dear, you alarm our guests." Violet said with a straining smile. "It's quite all right, Lady Bridgerton." Miss Kate Sharma said.
"Perhaps... it is time for a toast." Lady Danbury said holding up her glass of wine. "A good idea. To cheer our guests." Violet said with a nod.
"Or to tend to other pressing matters." Lady Danbury said, glancing over at her. Right, this entire little event was for Anthony to engage to Miss Edwina. A long silence settled, no one seemed to say anything. Kate muttered something to Lady Danbury that I could not quite hear. "A toast. Yes." Anthony said as he rose to his seat. I grabbed my now empty wine glass and rose it in the air.
Was this finally the moment? Anthony cleared his throat. "My sincere gratitude to the Sharma's for joining us. It has been splendid having you here to witness what is now my second annual loss at pall-mall." His words made giggles erupt from the table. "Not to be repeated, I assure you... And my special gratitude to Miss Edwina. It has certainly been a privilege to truly make your acquaintance these past days. In fact, I believe there is a question I would like to ask you." He said, making everyone shift in their sits. Edwina breathed nervously and I clenched my hands into a fist.
His eyes made his way back over to the table but it was quick and unnoticeable. He gulped deeply. "I should like to, uh... I should ask you to please refrain from telling anyone back in London of yesterday's loss." He said, his words seemed to fail him. My eyebrows furrowed, I thought he was proposing to her. Edwina's smile slowly faded, I could feel the disappointment from down the table.
"I feel the harm to my reputation would simply be too great." Strained chuckles could be heard. Anthony rose his glass with a half smile, I thought Edwina was the one. What happened? "To the pleasant days ahead." He said. I hesitantly cheered before looking over at Anthony, who sat at the head of the table. His eyes landed on me and I gave him a look of confusion.
✑
Once the dinner was over we headed straight to our rooms, but I knew that Benedict was completely unwell given what just occurred. So I quickly took a bath and put on my nightgown--which was a periwinkle color-- and went straight to Benedict's room, whose door was ajar. It was nearing midnight and he should have been asleep.
I walked inside of his room to see him standing in front of Colin, who was holding an envelope in his hands. Benedict just wore a white button up and his slacks, his hair curled from the drips of sweat stuck in his hair.
"Are you still awake? You may wish to bathe before you see your mother in the morning. Also, what on Earth is the matter with you—." I was cut off by Benedict running up to me and cupping my face, placed a kiss on my cheek and my eyes widened. "You! My most favorite person in the world!" He exclaimed before he hugged me tight and peppered kiss all around my face.
I smiled before looking over at Colin, who now looked EXTREMELY guilty. "I've allowed my doubts to plague me for too long. I am worry-free, you see." He said with the brightest grin known to man. "Colin what have you given him?" I asked with a chuckle before Benedict squeezed me tightly, pressing his cheek against mine.
"I love you soo much." He said with a whine in his voice. I patted his back awkwardly. "This was not as nearly enough affection that I've gotten from Sir Isaac Riddle." I mumbled to myself, Benedict sighed before parting from me, placing his hands on my shoulders. "The thought of you and Isaac... still totally revolting to me." He said with a genuine grin, he spoke utterly and completely honest. My eyebrows furrowed as I looked at him.
"You are just a pentacle of love and warmth." He said before hugging me again. "Right." I said with confusion before I had seen Colin hold up the envelope in his hands. "Benedict I am sure you would like to see what has been sent to you." He said, Benedict parted from me with a gasp. He snapped his fingers. "Right!" He said before walking up to the envelope and snatching it away.
I walked up to Colin and stood beside him and watched as Benedict tore the envelope open and began reading the piece of parchment inside. He read the page quickly. I crossed my arms and looked as something shifted in his eyes. "I have a place." He said before a smile slowly grin on his face. I grinned excitedly. "The Royal Schools have accepted me as student... I GOT IN!" He shouted out excitedly.
I chuckled before placing a hand over my mouth. "I thought they were not the arbiters of taste?" Colin said with a raised eyebrow. "They must see great promise in my work. Oh my!" Benedict said as he threw down the parchment and climbed over towards one of his windows and threw it open. He stuck his entire body out, feeling the cold night air on his skin.
A grim expression spread across my way as I scratched the back of my neck in embarrassment. "YOU SHALL ALL BEAR WITNESS OF MY TALENTTTTTS...!" He screamed before Colin ran over to him and pulled him out of the window, hushing him quickly. "It's the middle of the night!" He said. Benedict laughed, placing a hand on his chest.
"He looks severely dehydrated, brother. Am I to nurse him?" I asked, throwing back my head. Benedict looked out of the window. "I am honored to accept... your acceptance." He said with a long sigh. Colin looked over at me before looking back at the open door behind him.
"I'll explain later." He said before leaving the room. I groaned, I was left with the—positively—intoxicated Benedict Bridgerton. "Let's get you to bed." I said, walking over towards him and helping him stand to his feet, he sluggishly stood—nearly slipping and falling.
We walked over towards his bed which were littered with sketches of who I could not exactly recognize since I was caring for Benedict. I placed him into his bed and he groaned tiredly. He gulped deeply and shifted around uncomfortably, I could tell that he was uncomfortable just by being in his own skin. His squeezed his eyes shut, meanwhile I sat on the edge of the bed and began unbuttoning his shirt. He hummed in confusion before his body tensed up.
"It's all right, Benedict. You are just burning up, let me help you." I said softly to him. His body relaxed as I popped open his shirt, revealing his freckled chest. I pulled off the shirt gently, noting that I shouldn't move him roughly. I folded his shirt neatly. "Sorry I'm like this... I..." He began to mumble off, it seemed the affects of whatever he consumed was wearing off. "I do not mean to bother you." He said rubbing his eyes tiredly.
"You are fine, Benedict, really. Just rest." I said borderline sternly. I cleared my throat before I stood up and made my way towards his open door. "Are... are you leaving?" I heard him ask which made me turn to look over at him. He was cuddling into his creme colored duvet and he looked directly at me.
Oh dear.
Of course: the puppy dog eyes. I didn't know if he was doing this on purpose or he just looked that way by complete default. I tilted my head before sighing slightly. "I can stay with you... if that is what you wish." I said, I couldn't help but feel slightly sorry for him. He looked helpless as he lied there in his bed, hair curled from the sweat he produced--cheeks flushed because his body was steaming...
Poor Benedict.
"Yes, I would like that very much." He said tiredly, I breathed in before looking back at the door. Well, if I was staying I might as well make myself useful. I walked out of the room and scurried to make a bowl of cold water with rag. I entered back into his room and placed the glass bowl on his bedside table, I dipped the clean rag in the water and winged it out. Water droplets bled from the towelette down my wrist. I patted the rag on Benedict's forehead, he hazily looked around the room, silence settled throughout the room and nothing was said.
I could see Benedict pout playfully. "What would I do without you?" He said, making me chuckle a little. Well, he surely seemed back to normal. "You'd probably be oh-so-lonely." I said. Benedict hummed with a hazy smile, his eyes suddenly fluttered close. I put down the rag back into the ball of water before I seen Benedict's eyes shoot open once more. "Where are you going?" He asked, nearly panicking. I chuckled softly before placing a hand on his shoulder.
"I am not going anywhere, Benedict. My, your memory is scattered." I said before climbing up into the bed before laying down beside him, Benedict took the opportunity and hugged my waist, burying his face in my shoulder. I rose an eyebrow, watching him sigh in comfort. His body seemed to still and he wasn't sweating profusely anymore.
Well, if nursing him back to health was what he needed... I suppose I could do that for him. My eyes slowly closed and I placed my arms onto Benedict lazily. I, too, was tired. Today was an extreme day for all of us, indeed. I felt myself shift into a deep asleep, listening to the sounds of Benedict breathing against my shoulder.
✑
Dear gentlereader,
An artist must be free to follow their muse. But it appears the ton has fallen to the fickleness of fashion. For how else might one explain the tawdry, dare I say vulgar, gown sported lately by Miss Cressida Cowper?
Mayfair's new modiste has one thing, and one thing only, going for her. She is new. Whereas Madame Delacroix might be old, but at least she is capable.
Of course, not everyone can always get things so right. Though, I do suppose, for some it may be simply too late to change course and undo any damage.
✑
The sun beamed into Benedict's room, the rays of heat danced on nearly every surface. You could hear the sounds of birds—specifically the European Greenfinch—singing a repetitive song outside. Meanwhile Benedict and Hope was completely knocked asleep.
Hope's body was turned towards Benedict, theirs limps tangled into one another. Her face was snuggled up into his chest as if she could possibly find heat awaiting there, Benedict cuddled her head protectively while a soft snore left his lips. The sound of Benedict's door softly clicked open, and in came Eloise.
She looked around once before jumping at the sight of what she saw. After Eloise came in Daphne followed closely behind. "Did Benedict hear the—." Her question was cut off before she seen the bed before her. Eloise smiled softly. "Well isn't this adorable?" She whispered before chuckling.
Daphne did not know what to say, Benedict was acting strange at dinner so she would safely assume that was why Hope was tangled up in his bed, fast asleep. Eloise crossed her arms before looking over at her sister. "What shall we do now? Mother said to get them up for breakfast but I didn't expect this." She said signaling to them. Daphne chews the inside of her cheek in thought.
"I suppose we should let them rest." She said, Eloise sighed before leaving the room without another word. Daphne followed her tail, leaving the room in silence—as it was. The click of the door shutting caused Benedict to shift, creating a domino affect which made Hope then stir in her sleep. Her eyes slowly peeled open and her eyes looked up to see Benedict in—what looked like—the best sleep of his life.
His hair was disheveled from the night before and the pink flush he once had on his cheeks are gone, making his skin appear more clearer. His chest rose and fell softly, Hope nearly felt guilty for having to wake him up for breakfast.
"Benedict." She said tiredly, her voice cracked slightly. She could see his eyelashes fluttering softly. Hope gathered as much strength as she could before she sat up, her wild coils of hair was frizzy, similar to lion's mane. She shook Benedict's shoulder. "Your mother is expecting us at breakfast, get out of bed." Hope said before she heard annoyed guttural groan come from him. Benedict's eyes peeled open slightly before looking up at Hope, he rubbed his eyes, getting the sleep out from it.
"What time is it?" He asked before Hope looked over at the clock that sat on his bed side table.
It was half past 9, it was certainly early but it wasn't so early that they'd have to go back to sleep. The family was most likely already awake and doing activities, given the Bridgerton's. "Half past nine, which means we need to get dressed. I believe your mother is hosting her annual hearts and flower's ball today." Hope said, getting out of bed and standing to her feet, the cold wood underneath her toes caused a shiver to erupt from her. She looked back at Benedict to still see him in bed, in a starfish position, staring up at the ceiling.
"Must I go?" He asked. Hope rolled her eyes before going on his side of the bed and grabbing his hand. She pulled him out of the messy bed and to his feet, and he sluggishly followed. "Yes." She said. Benedict groaned dramatically before pulling Hope into a hug. "Please do not make me go to this event, I shall be miserable. Do you want your most favorite person in the world to be miserable?" He asked. I looked of disgust was spread across Hope's face.
"You reek." She said, he smelled like sweat, paint, and a hint of honey. Like it had just come from a beehive only moments ago. Benedict pulled away from her with a chuckle before he winced slightly, rubbing his temples. Benedict seemed to be having the most annoying of headaches and he could hardly remember why. He watched as Hope straightened up the periwinkle nightgown she had on, which he mentally agreed it paired well with her skin.
Hope glanced up at his face: "Well, see you later... please take care of the smell." She said before walking out of his room without another word.