As Naina heard, she felt like earth slipped beneath her feet. She sat vth a thud on d sofa feeling completely lifeless.
There spread a pin drop silence between them. Only gusty wind was divulging the condition of a broken heart.
"Kab," She asked in her frozen state after some time
"When...I...I was on...two days leave.. after that night ," His words came out sporadically from his mouth.
Naina took a deep sigh & closed her eyes tightly letting the pain come out from her eyes in the form of tears.
"That's why....I was having those jittery feelings then..that I have lost you..mtlb wo sirf mera dar ni tha..that
actually had become a truth...I indeed had lost u," She said with her same numb state
He looked at her shockingly. She looked back at him vth her tearful eyes. He slowly went near her, sat on his knees & held her both palms in his. Both looked in each other's teary eyes.
"I didn't know at that time dt I..I actually started falling.....," She couldn't complete coz her throat choked
He pressed his hands on hers saying,"
Main bahut toot gaya tha, Naina..I was really broken. Naveen ke jane ke baad wo raat..aur uski agali subah shayad meri jindagi ka sabse mushkil wakt tha....," His tears fell on her palms crunching her heart badly
"After shooting Naveen, there was not a single day when I slept peacefully. Apne sabse achche dost ko apne hi hantho se marne ka guilt chain se jeene ni de raha tha mujhe...phir tumse mila yaha KMA mein..
On our first meeting itself, I felt smthing dfrnt for u, smthing very dfrnt..baki sabse alg tha wo...par kya tha...ye to mujhe bhi ni pata tha us wakt...,"
Naina was listening him attentively filling tears in her eyes feeling his pain. It was the first time when he was expressing himself, talking about himself, opening himself.
"First I suspected u being a spy..Kya
karta tumhari harkatein hi aisi thin..,"He said vth a chuckle on vch she too smiled back recalling their initial days of KMA. Though both of their eyes were still moisty.
"Then that day when I went to your home, I got abt u being Naveen's Sis. I became shocked first but then I realized why ur fighting spirit, dt passion, that fire in ur eyes always used to remind me of Naveen...," Her lips curved more in a smile listening her brother's name
"U were struggling alone, fighting alone against this system to get Justice for ur brother, I decided I would help u at any cost, I would be by ur side at any cost...Shayad is tarah apne dil ka bojh kuch kam kr sakun..," His voice again went gloomy
She remembered how he always helped her..How he gave her strength whenever she felt she has lost her courage "I Believe In U Cadet Naina Ah Singh.." How he supported her when the whole academy went against her. Her eyes became more moisty.
"Help karte karte...kab tumhari Hansi meri Khushi ban gayi..pata hi ni chala..Kab tumhara Ghum mera Apna ho gya pata hi ni chala...kab tumhare Chehre ka Sukoon mere Dil ka Chain ban gaya pata hi ni chala..Kab tum Mere Jeene Ki Vajah ban gayin...pata hi ni chala..," He said vth a slight smile on his face
Her heart filled vth pleasure for some secs forgetting all the things, all the situations under vch they were talking then. Her smile widened. She didn't realize, in this badly broken state of her heart, when some tears of happiness fell from her eyes onto her palms & mixed vth his already fallen tears.
"Aur jab samajh aya to paya already sabki ungliyan hamari taraf uth chuki thin.
Then I realized what new feelings I had developed for u were actually completely forbidden for me. How could I....It was wrong for me. U were my student & Naveen's Sis too & I was ur teacher...how could I think in that way for you. It would never be justified in our society, it would never be considered pure. No matter how much pious it is...wo hamesha galat hi thehraya jayega..,"He said painfully
vch she felt easily now. Afterall how could she forget those days when every finger raising ques on their characters while they did nothing wrong.
"Na chahte hue bhi I distanced myself from u. Apne dil par patthar rakh liya maine. Apni parwah ni thi mujhe..par
tumhari self-respect, tumhare honour ke sath sacrifice ni kar sakta tha, us par ungali uthte ni dekh sakta tha main....wo bhi tab jabki vajah main khud ban raha tha....socha tha mere aisa karne se sab kuch thik ho jayega.. Logon ke muh band ho jayenge...koi ungali ni utha payega tum par..lekin ye bhool hi gaya tha ki logo ko to har tarah mein baat karne ka mouka chahiye..kuch ho tab bhi...aur kuch na ho tab bhi...jiske chehre pr hamesha muskan rakhne ka khud se wada kiya tha....Usko ko hi ansu de baitha...," Fresh tears escaped from his eyes.
She recalled the moments. How much
shattered she used to feel when he was not there vth her during that time. She used to feel like she has lost her everything, her strength, her courage, her smile, her peace..her everything like she is feeling today.
Her fingers automatically tightened on his palms.
"Why she didn't think at that time dt what importance he has in her life," She thought in her mind. New tears escaped from her eyes too
"Thanks to Dr. Ritu Mishra..coz of whom situations got better & your honour could be saved,"He said in a relaxing tone
Naina remembered the moment. How much restless she felt during their engagement time. Though she herself convinced him to do so but it was also true, she was not feeling good seeing him vth Dr.Ritu. At that time also she couldn't decipher her feelings. If she could do this, situations would have been dfrnt today.
"Though she did all that coz of her own sake.."The real Spy". This time his voice covered vth Anger & Pain. Anger coz Ritu was a bloody traitor & pain coz that was the beginning of shattering the things between him vth Naina.
Listening this, Naina too felt anger rised inside her. She felt disgusted. Ritu was the person who manipulated her against him & as a result she shot him vthout thinking even for a sec.
"Phir jo hua... wo to...," leaving her hands he got up & stood near window.
His eyes were shedding his pain
Though he didn't mention but Naina already had understood. She was not able to think whatever happened during that time coz it was giving her immense pain. She closed her eyes tightly feeling really guilty.
"Tumhari nafrat bardasht kar pana mere liye bahut mushkil ho raha tha Naina, Samjh ni a rha tha kaise tumhe yakeen dilaun..kaise samjhaun..I wanted to help u but I knew that I had lost trust of u....kuch ni kar pa rha tha main. I started to feel like suffocated.,"
To reduce my pain I didn't get when I turned to....those things," He said after a pause. His voice distressing.
Tears after tears rolled down from her eyes. Her heart too was paining a lot.
"Phir Abhi ka aana...sach janne ke baad uska bhi mujhse nafrat karna...
All this was going beyond my patience & that day I became so high that I lost my control & misbehaved with you. Morning jab ankh khuli aur realize hua what I did, I felt extremely guilty.
I did what I never thought, I did what was just opposite of my nature..,"He said moving towards the kitchen counter to stand by its side.
"No Sir..U didn't..U didn't do anything wrong. Infact I was the one who misbehaved vth u..I should feel guilty.. I should be punished whatever I did to u. U didn't do anything such like that..believe me Sir," She tried so speak reaching near him but he stopped her saying
"Plzz Naina let me say..aaj ke baad pata ni phir kah paunga ya ni..phir mouka mile na mile," he requested & she nodded
"I thought I lost u completely. Pahle hi koi ummeed ni bachi thi but whatever happened uske baad to I was sure that u would hate me more jo main bardasht ni kar pata. First I decided to leave KMA,"
Naina looked at him shockingly vth her teary eyes
"Then I thought I can't go like this. Naveen ko insaf dilaye bina I can't go like this & If I stay at KMA & smthing like dt happens again by mistake then I would never be able to forgive myself so I decided I would do smthing like this vch always reminds me of my boundaries, my limitations.
Naina understood what he must have thought. She wanted to cry a loud but anyhow controlled herself.
"Though I had decided but still I was in a big dilemma thinking that would I be able or not...kahin kisi ke sath injustice to ni hoga...only then I got a call vch shattered me completely, broke me completely," his voice extremely painful
"Kiska call tha, Sir..aur kya hua tha," She asked worriedly
He took a deep sigh & proper time before telling
"Mere internal sources se..mujhe pata chala ki Naveen ko fansane me kisi aur ka nahi balki khud....Lala Sahab ka hanth tha....,"
"Whatt,"Naina asked dumbfoundedly
He turned & placed his both hands on the kitchen counter to take support.
"I felt like earth slipped beneath my feet...family ke naam par to pahle hi koi ni tha..Lala Sahab jinhe apna mana tha wo bhi...though it was not confirmed but there were high chances of the thing to be true...
Naveen to bahut pahle hi chhod kr ja chuka tha.. Abhi bhi mujhse nafrat karne laga tha..tum to mujhse itni door chali gyin thin ki vapas aane ki koi ummeed hi ni bachi thi mere paas. I felt like I left all alone in this world.
Koi ni tha jiske kandhe par sar rakhkar ro sakun.
Naina's heart was cramping badly realizing what he must have been through at that time..She was cursing herself why she was not vth him..why she didn't understand him...he was always there for everyone but when he was needed some one..no one was there for him.
"I wanted to cry a loud, Naina..wanted to share my pain vth smone but there was no one vth me. Main bilkul akela pad gya tha Naina..at that time I really wanted smone by my side, I really needed someone by my side aur aise me us wakt mujhe sirf wohi ek chehra nazar aaya jo mujhe laga ki mujhe sambhal sakta tha aur wo tha Kajal ka....
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Note- 1) Sry frnds I could write this only..guests aa gye the ghar pr so couldn't get time..aaj isi se kaam chala lo... though I had not thought to upd today coz itna bhi ni likha tha but I wrote this anyhow thinking dt u must be waiting so here it is..
2) Only two Chapters left now
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Precap- "Congratulations Sir..itni badi khushi ki baat h... bahut ho gya rona dhona..now leave all dt..so when r u giving us party??," She asked
Rajveer was hell shocked to hear her
"What..aap yahi soch rhe hn na ki main kya kh rahi hoon..look sir..hum sabko bahut time se lg rha tha dt u r hiding smthing from us so mere aur Huda ke beech shart lgi thi ki agar maine pata kar liya dt what u r hiding from us so he would give me 5000 & look I did. Compliment ni denge what a good actress I am...," She said amusingly
Upcoming- Three Years later