Read on to see a certain young she-cat finally begin follow the path she was truly meant to follow...
Snowpaw's POV
I had truly never felt so nervous, anxious, yet so on top of the world at the same time from where I stood guard in the medicine den, my tail twitching behind me as I paced the area. I mean, I was in one of my favorite places in the entirety of ThunderClan territory, but I couldn't fully enjoy it with the tension that continued to rise within the camp.
I was more than happy to guard the medicine den as my mother, Lilypetal, had directed me to just before pelting through the camp entrance, but my heart had been pounding in my ears since that moment, knowing that my mother had made her departure to chase Goldenpaw - my littermate who had decided to be reckless just for fun once again.
I had actually nearly followed my mother's brown-and-white tabby fur before she had sent me away. But surely it's pointless, anyway, I thought as I finally forced myself to stop my aimless pacing and turn back toward the herb stock. While I love my sister more than words can say, words also can't even begin to describe just how impulsive she is.
I then took a deep breath, letting my fur lie completely flat as I began to glance over each pile of herbs, looking out for any outliers. She's surely just out doing something silly that Lilypetal's going to pull her from, and that's nothing new.
Actually managing to reassure myself a little bit, I was able to almost fully bring my focus back to the task at hand. And as I sat there in the den, all by myself, organizing the piles of leaves, I was almost tempted to pretend for a moment that I was ThunderClan's medicine cat.
And as horrible as the thought was... I felt an overwhelming amount of hope as I realized that it might actually happen, and much sooner than I had originally expected.
I didn't know much at all, however... by the way that certain cats had acted, and by the words that I had overheard being conspired after tonight's full-moon Gathering was enough to make me question things.
I had actually already been in the medicine den for the entirety of ThunderClan's departure for the Gathering, and had still been there by the time they had returned. While I had anticipated some surprise and bitterness by Jayfeather or Leafpool... well, Jayfeather... I most certainly hadn't expected to be thrown through the bramble screen, and especially not by Hollyleaf!
With no explanation, the fluffy black she-cat had burst into the medicine den, barely giving me a moment to speak or move before tossing me out. But I had barely gotten time to recover from that daunting experience, because the conversation that Leafpool and Hollyleaf then had once I was out of there quickly took priority in my mind...
The light-brown tabby medicine cat had revealed to Hollyleaf that she had lost her position as a medicine cat.
The situation was almost too unbelievable and surreal... so much so that I wondered if StarClan had genuinely listened to my pleas that I'd been making in my mind since I'd first become a warrior apprentice. I mean, just being able to be in the medicine den and to help Jayfeather and Leafpool out while they're gone was fulfilling enough, but this made me feel as if I was walking on the lightest, fluffiest cloud.
I suppose that becoming a medicine cat apprentice had never been out of the question, but I had always been under the assumption that having three medicine cats most definitely wasn't practical. And while Leafpool stepping down didn't necessarily mean that Jayfeather needed someone to replace Leafpool immediately... Jayfeather surely would be overwhelmed on his own...
My fur had begun to tingle as this thought crossed my mind, and my heart felt as if it were rising out of my chest, but I then quickly let out a huff and gave an irritated lash of my tail as I forced away any positive thoughts. My first instinct is to be so excited about Leafpool - a wonderful, brilliant she-cat - losing her medicine cat position...
I then closed my eyes, practically feeling sick with guilt. And that is awful, I told myself, genuinely feeling terrible for what the she-cat was surely going through. I can't even begin to guess why she is going through it! I wondered, managing to feel even more shocked each time that information crossed my mind. What could she have done to lose her position?
I then took another deep breath, narrowing my eyes as I stared intently down at my working paws. Be patient, Snowpaw. Things will make sense soon enough.
I then flicked my ears, dropping all of the herbs I'd been holding as I heard the bramble screen gently rustle from behind me.
I then slowly and warily began to turn around. Then, within a heartbeat, my heart seemed to burst out of my chest as my eyes fell on a larger cat-like figure standing by the den entrance - I immediately recognized the bright orange pelt of my leader, Firestar. I couldn't help but gasp in alarm, flinching as I had met his green gaze for the first time.
And that green gaze quickly washed over with surprise as I took a pawstep back. "Oh! Snowpaw, I am so sorry," the older tom meowed, blinking at me apologetically. "I didn't mean to spring on you like that."
I let out a brief sigh, almost as if to release all of the initial fear that had risen up inside of me as rapidly as a hawk swooping down to claim its prey. "T-that's okay," I murmured quietly as I looked down, suddenly feeling very small and shy as I addressed my Clan's leader.
I then felt a twinge of curiosity as Firestar didn't immediately reply or acknowledge my words, and I looked back up to find that him looking visibly distressed, something that I didn't see from the bright orange tom often. "Are you okay, Firestar?" I asked out of genuine concern.
My words seemed to break the leader from his thoughts, causing him to shake his head quickly. "I-Yes. Yes, Snowpaw, I'm alright," he reassured me.
But the look on his face alone contradicted himself as he then went on. "I suppose tonight's Gathering just... it's left me a little disoriented."
He then shook his head once again as I simply watched him with concern. "Anyway, I was coming in here to look for Leafpool. Have you seen her?"
I shrugged as I slightly hesitated - hating that my honest answer was only going to add to the leader's clear distress. "She was in here earlier, but she left a little while ago, and I don't know where she went." Sure enough, Firestar's expression darkened with my answer, and I couldn't help but lower my head in shame. "I'm sorry..."
I then lifted my head once again as I then heard the older tom purr with amusement. "You have no reason to be sorry about that, Snowpaw," he then meowed warmly as I met his gaze again. I then tilted my head to the side as I watched him sigh, his eyelids closing for just a moment. "And anyway, I'm sure that she's nearby."
I then stared nervously back at Firestar as he then stepped deeper into the den, his gaze washing over with humor once again. "But I do have to ask, why are you in here and not her?"
I broke my gaze from the leader once again, for some reason deciding to look down at my paws for comfort as I flicked my tail toward the herb stock behind me. "Oh, well..." I began at almost a whisper. "While Jayfeather and Leafpool were at the Gathering, I thought that I would keep watch over their den and organize some of their herbs for them."
I then forced myself to look back up at Firestar for a moment, almost immediately looking back down as I caught his tilted head and narrowed gaze. "I'm sorry-"
I cut off my own words as Firestar purred once again, to my surprise. "Again, there is no need to apologize, Snowpaw," he told me calmly, taking another step closer to me and brushing his tail against my shoulder. "I know that you're old enough to actually be able to handle yourself in here. And..."
He then let out another sigh, and his next words made my ears prick with intrigue. "Jayfeather will certainly need it - I don't think organizing the herbs is the first thing on his mind right now."
I then widened my eyes as the leader had spoken; I now knew exactly what he was implying. And it's gotten to Firestar too? This must be quite serious! "So, is it true?" I couldn't help but press to the leader. "Leafpool isn't a medicine cat anymore?"
I then took a pawstep back, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with apprehension as Firestar's eyes widened with alarm. "I... overheard some things once everyone began to return from the Gathering..." I then muttered warily, telling myself that I was only fibbing with that answer. The truth would only upset him, and I don't think he can afford that, as much as he wants to prove otherwise...
I looked back up at the leader once again as he sighed, his eyes closed once again. "Well, giving you the true answer will only make it all feel more real, however... yes."
The bright orange tom then winced, as if he were using all of his might to fight back emotion. "What you overheard was correct," he then whispered, his voice hoarse as he began to shake his head slowly.
I could barely stand to see the usually strong, confident and level-headed leader look so crestfallen, and I couldn't help but take a step closer to him and try to meet his gaze. "Oh my goodness..." I then sighed, trying to keep myself from asking further questions that I had absolutely no place to ask. "I really hate to hear that, Firestar."
"I hate admitting it as much as you don't like hearing it," Firestar then muttered after a few heartbeats, straightening up and giving a shake of his fur. "And while Jayfeather is still very young, he is a full medicine cat now, and I know that he is fully capable of taking on the position himself."
He then seemed to force his chin up, his eyes dark, but also certain as he stared straight past me. "So, ThunderClan is still in perfectly safe paws."
I nodded eagerly back at the leader, wanting to reassure him just as much as he was surely trying to reassure himself. "Oh, I completely agree, Firestar!"
I then looked down again, my heart pounding in my ears, my stomach twisting, and my paws beginning to shuffle back and forth nervously as I mustered up the courage to speak my next words. "But... if he ever does need help... please know that I would be more than willing to assist."
I then screwed my eyes shut with fear for a few moments, before finally forcing them open again to look at Firestar, who was staring back at me with narrowed green eyes once again. "I see..." he murmured almost too quietly for me to hear.
Then, just as I was about ready to crumble from the unbearable amount of silence - Firestar simply looking back at me contemplatively - he finally spoke again. "I'll keep that in mind, Snowpaw. Thank you." Then, after another few moments, his gaze then softened as he gestured with his tail toward the back of the medicine den. "Do you mind grabbing me a poppy seed? I'm almost certain that I'm not going to be sleeping very well tonight."
All of my nerves suddenly disappearing, I gave an excited nod to the leader and whipped myself around. "Of course!" I exclaimed as I urgently looked through all of the stacks I had organized.
I found myself having to hold back a squeal as I did so. Great StarClan, it's like I'm a real medicine cat! I thought enthusiastically as I quickly picked up a poppy seed in my teeth. And grabbing herbs for the Clan leader too, oh my goodness!
I then turned back around, practically trotting back towards Firestar before dropping the herb at his paws. "Here you go!"
I then furrowed my eyebrows, taking a brief glance back towards the stacks and lashing my tail towards a particular one. "Would you also like some chamomile? It's not the best for sleep, but it might help your..." I then sniffed, flicking my tail to the leader as I cocked a single eyebrow. "...disorientation."
Firestar let out a mrrow of laughter before bending down to lick up the poppy seed. "That's alright, Snowpaw. Thank you," he meowed kindly. I then widened my eyes slightly as he then raised his head, his green gaze bright as it locked with mine. "You seem very comfortable in this den. Is this the first time you've done something like this?"
I began to shift my paws back and forth again as I answered, "Well, it's the first time I've... let myself stand in for them before, but I always took a peep in here when I could..."
I then couldn't help but roll my eyes. "To Goldenpaw's dismay..." I then muttered - the look on my sister's face when she'd first realized I wanted to be a medicine cat just a couple of moons ago being engrained in my mind forever. "And every time I look at herbs in the forest, I'm sure that she wants to strangle me with her tail!"
I then looked back up at Firestar to find him looking amused, and simultaneously very concerned. "She's... not too fond of me veering off the path of a warrior," I then explained. Or rather, veering off the path away from her... which I don't like either. However...
I then broke away from my own thoughts as Firestar let out a humored sniff. "Well, I'd know more than anyone that you can't let anyone around you give you flack for deciding to pursue a different path," he then muttered, giving me a wink. And after I let out a soft purr of amusement, he went on. "But anyway, I am impressed by how knowledgeable you are, and how willing you were to step up."
I looked down at my paws shyly, surely for the hundredth time since Firestar had entered the den. "Thank you, well..." I murmured before giving a shrug. "It really doesn't feel like any trouble at all. I enjoy it." I really do.
Firestar then began to nod slowly, his eyes narrowing down into slits once again. "I can tell," he then murmured after another few unbearably long heartbeats.
I then flicked my ears as he continued to stare down at me, his eyes now dark as he seemed to dive into a river of his own thoughts. "You'd be a great asset to Jayfeather, especially right now," he then muttered, so quietly that I wondered if I was supposed to hear. "While he's certainly not the warmest of cats... he was likely going to take on an apprentice at some point..."
I then completely froze, one of the words that the leader had spoken causing my heart to nearly skip a beat - I practically felt dizzy, and it felt as if thousands of butterflies were flying violently around in my stomach. "A-apprentice...?" I then whispered.
I had barely been able to process the ThunderClan's leaders words by the time he continued, glancing over his shoulder as if Jayfeather were standing behind him. "It's probably a lot for him to take, especially just losing his mentor, however..." he then went on. "I feel much safer with two cats in this Clan knowing the ways of a medicine cat, and... well..."
I then nearly gasped as Firestar finally looked back at me, his green gaze now full of certainty and admiration. "Lilypetal has spoken very well of you to me, Snowpaw - she says that you are very kind, intelligent, and diligent - all things of which I have also observed," he then meowed, causing my head to feel light. "While you've also shown promise as a warrior - I think that you would do excellently as a medicine cat."
Oh my StarClan, this can't be happening...
And as incredible as these words were to hear, they also brought me an immense amount of fear and discomfort. This is want I've wanted to hear for my entire life, but I hate that it is under these circumstances... "Oh, well, thank you so, so much, but... Firestar, are you sure?" I asked worriedly, my eyes wide and my heart racing with apprehension. "I don't want to spring this on Jayfeather just as much as you." I would absolutely hate to upset him...
Firestar let out a huff, his eyes reflecting as much wariness as I felt. "While I am a bit reluctant, and while I'm already certain that Jayfeather won't take to it too well, I..." He then nodded to me, his expression full of sincerity. "I just have a feeling that I'd be missing out on something very, very valuable if I put this off, and in the long run, I'm sure that Jayfeather would agree."
As I then looked down at my paws, still feeling completely blown over and bewildered, I could just barely see the ThunderClan leader trying to meet my gaze. "So, what do you say, Snowpaw?"
I held my breath as I slowly looked back at Firestar, my stomach still feeling as knotted as the most tangled bramble bush. And as troubled as I still was by the fact that I was being offered this position at such a strange, clearly very stressful time... and the fact that Goldenpaw will surely be crushed...
The fact that I had been dreaming about this for moons, and the fact that my own leader was offering me the position outweighed all of those troubled feelings. "Oh my goodness, Firestar, well..." I began hesitantly. "I feel so honored to be given this opportunity, and... if you really think that Jayfeather needs the extra help, then..."
I then took a deep breath, puffing out my chest just slightly. "I accept," I then meowed more clearly as the excitement finally began to set in. "I accept, I most definitely accept! Thank you, I-"
I then flicked my ears in surprise as my words were cut off - strangely, by the silence that allowed for the fast footsteps that burst into camp to seem as loud as the most violent thunderstorm.
And just heartbeats after that, I recognized Brightheart's concerned meow. "Lilypetal? What's the matter?"
I nearly gasped as I realized that it was my mother being addressed, and after Firestar and I exchanged a confused glance, I pricked an ear and attempted to listen more closely.
My stomach quickly turned upside down. Wait... why is Lilypetal by herself? Why didn't Goldenpaw come back with her?
My mother sounded completely out of breath, which continued to confuse and concern me. "Goodness, where do I even start?" she gasped as several pawsteps seemed to pad in her direction. "I was chasing Goldenpaw through the forest because she wanted to find Hollyleaf, and-"
Beside me, Firestar raised his tail and quickly ran out of the den. "Hold on, Lilypetal," he called out, his voice echoing through ThunderClan's camp. "Let me hear this as well."
I urgently followed Firestar out of the den, joining the crowd that was continuing to gather. One of the first cats that caught my eye was the golden-brown tabby pelt of my father, Thornclaw, standing just a little ways away.
I ran up to meet him, simply just touching my muzzle to his cheek in greeting before looking for the place that my mother was addressing the rest of the Clan. Maybe Goldenpaw is with her... maybe she's being silent because she got in trouble?
But to my complete dismay, I found my mother and immediately discovered that the pelt identical to my father's was not next to her. Oh, no... no, no...
I fearfully pressed against Thornclaw, who wrapped his tail around my back and pulled me closer to him. And even though he didn't say a word - his demeanor and expression revealed to me that he had come to the same conclusion that I had. But please don't make it meant what we think it means...
I forced myself to take a deep breath and simply listen as Firestar made his way up to where Lilypetal was standing. "What has happened?"
I could barely stand to looked at my mother as she began to explain, her hazel eyes full of distress. "Okay, well, I was chasing Goldenpaw out in the forest, and then..." She then took a moment to catch her breath before going on. "We both found Hollyleaf in a cave... the cave ceiling was beginning to collapse down on top of her."
My eyes slowly widened as gasps of alarm rippled through the crowd. Oh my goodness! Poor Hollyleaf...
Lilypetal then gestured to the camp entrance, where Jayfeather and Lionblaze were making their way into camp. I couldn't help but feel a twinge of nerves as my gaze fell on Jayfeather's gray tabby pelt. "Jayfeather and Lionblaze were there too," my mother then went on. "We could only watch Hollyleaf begin to be buried under the rocks until..."
She then screwed her eyes shut, taking a few heartbeats before finally saying, "...Goldenpaw jumped in after her."
No! Goldenpaw, you idiot!
With those words, my whole world seemed to crumble like the rocks at the top of that cave wall, and I felt my stomach drop to the center of the earth. My mind was blank, yet it seemed to swirl with so many overwhelming thoughts at the same time. I can't even begin to process it... I thought as I exchanged a horrified glance with Thornclaw. I then nearly let out a whimper as I pictured Goldenpaw pelting into that collapsing tunnel.
And in that moment, I couldn't help but fear the worst, and I could only assume that my sister had died along with Hollyleaf, and all of my memories of my sister were beginning to flash before my eyes. No... it hurts too much!
I then forced myself to look back up at my mother as I heard her speak again. "I have no idea if they're dead or alive, or if Goldenpaw actually managed to save Hollyleaf at all..." Just as my mother's voice was growing hoarse beyond comprehension, she took a deep breath and gave a lash of her tail. "I just know that they're trapped in there, and we have no idea what to do."
I then flinched, startled as Thornclaw abruptly stepped forward, raising his voice for all of his Clanmates to hear as he ran up to meet his mate. "I'll tell you what we're going to do - we're going to go to that cave and dig down into the ground with our bare paws if we have to!"
Lilypetal gave a sharp nod, her pained expression beginning to fill with determination. "I'm right there with you on that!"
I couldn't help but close my eyes for a moment as I sighed with relief. Thank StarClan for my parents... that's all.
Thornclaw exchanged a warm, yet solemn glance with his mate before nodding to Firestar. "We'll gladly lead a patrol to go and find them."
I raised my eyebrows as Firestar immediately shook his head. "That won't be necessary, Thornclaw. I'm coming as well," the ThunderClan leader declared before turning to face the rest of his Clan. "Brightheart, Cloudtail, Lionblaze and Jayfeather will come too."
Then, without hesitation, he gave a lash of his tail and began to lead the cats towards the camp entrance. "Brambleclaw, you're in charge while I'm gone!"
Wait!
I urgently ran ahead to catch up with the ThunderClan leader as I felt a rush of panic. "Firestar, wait!" I then called out loud as I pelted up to flank the orange tom. "I can't stay here in camp while I know that this is happening. What can I do to help?" If my sister really is dead, I want to be there to discover it, and if she isn't, I want to be there to help her, no doubt.
Firestar slowed his pace, flashing me a contemplative look before stepping to the side, gesturing to Thornclaw to take the lead as the patrol began to crawl through the gorse tunnel.
He then glanced past me, his eyes narrowing as he seemed to be focusing on another figure approaching the camp entrance. "Jayfeather!"
I then felt my heart skip a beat as I looked over my shoulder to see the medicine cat pause for a moment, his blind eyes flashing with surprise before running up to meet me and Firestar. Great StarClan, is this happening right now? During all of this? I wondered in panic, beginning to mentally prepare myself. There's no way that Jayfeather will take this well!
But despite my worried thoughts, I stayed silent as I felt Firestar put the tip of his tail on my shoulder. "If it is alright with you, Snowpaw will be assisting you on this expedition," the ThunderClan leader began.
I took a brief glance at Jayfeather, who simply gave a flick of his ears as he gave a blink of alarm. I couldn't help but winch and screw my eyes shut. Oh my StarClan, it's worse than I could have ever thought...
"Snowpaw clearly shows a passion for healing, and she has shown interest in being your apprentice," Firestar then went on, briefly nodding to me, flashing me a look of reassurance. "After a little talk that the both of us have just had, I know that she is more than capable."
Firestar then looked intently back at Jayfeather, who still looked taken aback by his leader's words. "You most definitely can decline, however..." he then muttered, his green eyes now full of pleading. "You may need her help. But StarClan forbid..."
My heart continue to pound like it never had before as I then slowly looked back at Jayfeather, who continued to look filled with shock - clearly having taken aback by Firestar's offer. But beyond that, I could hardly read his gaze. I was bracing for him to explode, raging with annoyance that he had to have a pesky little apprentice by his side so soon, feeling so offended that Firestar thought that he wasn't capable on his own. Even though he most definitely is... he's brilliant...
I then completely froze as Jayfeather's deep blue gaze locked with mine, and for some odd reason, despite my fear, I found that I couldn't look away. Absolutely brilliant...
I had expected to look back at hostile, cold blue eyes, but I was surprised to find a glimmer of curiosity and admiration there.
And then, I was completely shocked when, after several heartbeats, he actually closed his eyes and let out a sigh. "Fine," he muttered in his usual tone, his gaze still holding mine. "I suppose now would not be a good time to retaliate, anyway."
I nearly gasped, and I had to keep my eyes from widening so far that they'd fall out of my head. And for Jayfeather's sake, I had to use all of my might to keep all of my excitement from erupting out of me. Did Jayfeather really just accept me as his apprentice? Am I now Jayfeather's apprentice?
I simply stood there in bewilderment as Firestar then gave a brief nod to Jayfeather before pelting out of camp, following just behind Lionblaze.
I watched the leader's bright ginger tail quickly disappear into the darkness before nervously meeting Jayfeather's blind gaze again, and for a moment, I felt just as fearful as I had when Firestar had first addressed the tom. What if he just said yes in front of Firestar to please him? I wondered. It's more than likely that he's just going to send me away while he does all of the work.
These realizations brought me to want to prevent any of that from happening. I'm leaving this camp whether Jayfeather wants me to or not! "I... I'll try not to be a bother," I tried to reassure the tom. "Just tell me what I need to do, and I'll do it, Jayfeather."
The slightly older tom continued to completely shock me as he stared back at me gently, simply giving a small sniff and blink of acknowledgement. "Thanks, Snowpaw," he muttered, his expression then washing over with distress. "But I'm praying to StarClan that we won't have to do anything at all."
He then shut his eyes for a moment, taking one last deep breath before padding quickly out of camp. "Let's go."
I stood tall, my blood seeming to rush and practically boil with so much excitement, fear, uncertainty, triumph, and determination all at the same time as I then followed my new mentor out of camp. Let's go!