I'm sitting at the kitchen table with my coffee mug in my grasp with a photo album laid out in front of me. I chew on my lip as I glance at the box next to me. It's filled with odds and ends of my life before the fall of mankind. It's stupid to hang on something so materialistic when we are fighting day in and day out to survive. But with Alexandria feeling so permanent, what could it hurt to have some of this here with me? Daryl went back and cleared out the safe house yesterday when he learned I was going to head that way for that very reason; he had ordered me to take a day or two to relax before we jump back into the war against Negan.
Tori is sitting across from me fiddling with my baby book while Kelly is lurking over my shoulder, flipping through the photo book. "Why did you bring this back?" He questions, his curious dark eyes find me.
Shrugging, "I want to show my child where they came from." I rub my face, spotting a picture of me and Tori when we were no older than toddlers. "I want them to know there was more than fighting for their life." Sadness dances through my veins, I know Daryl didn't have a great life growing up, and now our child might face that same fate under different circumstances. You just have to grab the good moments where you can and hold on tight. "Plus, I want to remind myself how far I've come."
Tori nods, taking a sip of her own coffee.
"Hey! I remember this day!" Kelly points out a picture of Charlee, himself, Wren, and I. Kelly's arm is wrapped around my shoulders grinning like he had just won the lottery while Charlee holds up bunny ears behind his head. My face is as red as Wren's hair. Wren is smiling innocently towards the camera. "We were six years old, but you had just told me that you were going to marry me someday." Noises of Daryl joining us fill the room, glancing over at the photo in question. "I remember thinking, 'this girl is weird, sweet. I'll have an awesome wife.'"
I snort, "yet you claim you had zero idea about my feelings."
His eyes sad, "yeah, but you didn't keep your word, weird girl. But the better man won your heart." He grins over at the redneck.
"I'm surprised you two didn't get married." Tori smirks. "But you're right. Daryl seems good for my baby sister."
Daryl grunts, stalking to the box, pulling out a photo while an unreadable expression twists his face. I stand up, curious about what he picked up. I sigh, seeing myself standing in a white mermaid wedding dress with Charlee and Wren at my sides. It's one of the few photos I kept from my wedding. "Ya always been beautiful, Blue," he whispers.
"I was only eighteen. I was young and stupid. If only I knew that my soulmate was an archer already well into his adulthood, fucking shit up in a few states away." I tease. I had a traditional wedding to appease Jordan's parents. I much prefer the way Daryl and I went about it, instead. I watch as his eyes flick to the wedding ring adorning my finger.
The sounds of a door closing causes both of us to look towards that direction. Kelly and Tori are allowing us a moment of peace before Daryl has to leave to meet Rick. He drags me into his arms, I return my attention to the archer at my side. He brings his mouth down, lips meeting mine. "I missed ya. It's been too damn long." His hand finds itself tangled in my hair.
"You don't say." I smirk.
I watch as his eyes travel my face, stopping at my newest scar, memorizing it. His thumb traces the skin around the wound. I close my eyes as the memories of the attack overwhelm me, with his words screaming at me. I take a deep breath, hoping to keep the panic attack at bay. Daryl senses the difference growing inside my soul. "We'll get him," his gruff tone holding the deadly promise.
I purse my lips, wrapping my fingers around his arm as I pull my head out of his grasp, weakly, "yeah. Rick's probably waiting for you. You shouldn't keep him waiting." I offer.
He nods tensely, tuning into my body langurage. "Blue, I know that battle ya are fighin' in ya mind. You ain't alone. I ain't leavin' ya side." I open my eyes in time to see him drag on his vest. "I'll be back tonight." I anxiously fiddle with my fingers as he closes the door behind him. We don't say goodbye anymore.
Sighing, I run a hand through my hair. I spot the pictures sprawled across the table. Deciding I'll deal with it later, I have a more pressing matter. I spin on my heels, heading towards Abraham's room. This is the first full day I've spent in my home since Negan killed my family. I've been ignoring the chore of doing inventory, but there isn't a better time than the present. With Tori here now, I had offered her my extra bedroom until the war is over when she can move into her own home. I just need to clean the room and see what is and isn't there. I know if I don't do it now, I'll avoid this like the plague.
I carefully open the door leading into my extra bedroom, seeing that a tornado has ripped through the room. "Fuck," I rub my face. Negan's men really have no respect. Why would they? To their boss, we were nothing but peasants. Until we fought back.
I stalk through the threshold, picking up the items littering the floor before I spot Abraham's dog tags hanging along the wall. Tears well up as I take them into my hand. I close my eyes, letting the memories we shared crash into me. "You were really my best friend, Red." I whisper into the air.
"Vanessa." Startled, I turn around to find Carol lurking in the doorway. She holds up her hands spotting the surprise dancing on my face, "sorry, Daryl said you were home. I wanted to check on you." She walks over to me, her eyes flick to the dog tags in my grasp. "I wanted to see how you were doing."
"I'm okay," is all I offer. I stare at the necklace in my hand, willing my sob to stop. I'm so sick of talking about Owen. Why does everyone keep asking if I'm okay? It's not like I'm going to break and snap. I'm still hanging on; I'm still fighting.
"Don't bullshit me. You are not okay. Daryl said you pulled away this morning. He's worried. We are all worried about you. I know if Ed was around, I would be scared."
"Yes, I'm scared but I'm handling it the best I can." I wave my hand dismissively. "Since he ran from our enemy, he isn't a priority. I'll track him down when this is over." Though, if he was smart, he would've fled this side of the country. "And Carol? If Ed was back, he better pray to whoever he believes in that his death is quick. You are one bad bitch. You aren't the woman you were when you were married to him. You wouldn't be scared. You'd be merciless."
She smirks, "take your own advice. You're not someone to be trifled with and he'll learn that." She pats my arm, "just don't make it quick. Let him suffer." She winks before taking her leave. My mouth falls open, staring at the spot she stood a moment ago.
Papers are sprawled across the desk inside the infirmary. Denise's book is cracked open while I scribble down the medical terms. My last patient had just left, so I'm taking the rest of the day to take inventory and begin creating medical files for the residents of Alexandria. I rub my face, feeling my eyes start to cross when the sounds of the footsteps fill the air.
"You asked to see me." Rosita's curious tone reaches my ears. I nod without looking up. I wave her over while I stand, leaning against the desk. Her eyes glances over my shoulder at the mess I had created. "Long day?"
"Yeah. I miss Denise." I take in a deep breath before holding out my hand, "I finally went through Abraham's room. I found various things belonging to him." She spots the dog tags within my grasp. "I can't give any of it to Sasha, Eugene doesn't deserve it, so I figured you'd want it."
She shakes her head, wrapping her fingers around my fist, closing my palm. "Keep it. You were someone close with him. He considered you a sister. He'd want you to have it. He admired you even before meeting you. Thank you for thinking of me, though." I chew on my lip, peering down at her hands over mine. "You deserve it more than any of us."
"Are you sure? I know I didn't know him long..." I trail off.
"I'm sure." The door swings open, we glance over, seeing Carl stalk inside. Rosita removes her hand, acknowledging the smaller Grimes, closing the door behind her without any further comment. I stare down at the dog tags before setting them back on my desk.
"What's up, kid?" I ask as I return to my chair, lowering myself down.
"Just wanted to come see what you were doing." He shrugs, finding an extra chair, joining me at the desk. "I brought food!" I smirk at his enthusiasm. He sets the sandwich in front of me.
"I'm not doing anything fun," I groan, "but we need some sort of order to this chaos." I spread my arms, gesturing to the building around us. "Since I'm currently the acting doctor, I'm taking matters into my own hands." I purse my lips, realizing how giant of a job I gave myself. I write down a list of supplies I'll need, setting it aside. Like normal doctor offices, I decided to compile a list of medical history and allergens, so I don't accidently kill anyone. I take a bite of the sandwich Carl handed over. Looking around at the paperwork, clicking my tongue. With a thought in mind, I toss over a notebook and a pen in his direction, "do me a favor. Get everyone's name and give them a time slot to come in and talk to me."
"You got it, Nessa!" He grins, taking his own leave.
Over the next two hours, I set aside the paperwork for the medical file, beginning to take inventory on medical supplies and medication. Every once in a while, I'll refer to the second book filled with lists of medications and their uses before I write a second list of things we are need of. I separate the notebooks, taking a second one, titling it 'home remedies', I scrawl out the recipes Hershel had given me while including my own. I make a point to add herbs and their benefits.
Carl returns soon after, handing over the book filled with names and times of appointments for consultations. "Aaron gave me these." He offers, placing a box full of empty files. "He's heading to Deanna's office to clean out the filing cabinets, then bringing it here. He wanted to help when I told him what was going on."
"Thank you!" I smirk, "you're amazing." I sit down, taking out the files, writing a name on each. Carl joins me, taking half of the pile, following suit. We quickly finish when a knock sounds from the front door. I sigh, rubbing my face. Before I could get up, it swings open, revealing Aaron with Rick and Daryl behind him carrying the cabinet. I watch as they set in next to the desk. "Thanks guys!"
"It's no problem." Rick smiles. "It's a great idea." I observe as he takes a piece of paper, beginning to write something down. I cock my head, confused. "What do you need for the file?" He asks without glancing up.
"Oh, just medical history, list of passed surgery's, injuries and allergens. The usual."
Daryl grunts while he and Aaron grab more paper, following Rick's lead while I stand, grabbing the other files, putting them in alphabetical order, and placing them in the first drawer of the cabinet. I set the notebooks filled with home remedies and medications inside the second one, with Denise's book next to them. I place the paper for the next run near the door so I can hand it to whoever takes that round.