"Doctor? Why didn't you make love to me last night?"
"Last night is past, and I always make sure to forget the past."
"No doctor, you're lying. Every accumulated hatred, from 5, 10 years ago, maybe even from birth are weighing all their weight on your shoulders. Thus your have to permanently fight against them so as not to be crushed under them.
" That's why I always hasten to forget pleasurable moments, even if it was only last night."
"Pleasurable? You're just lying next to me without even brushing my hand, and you find this pleasurable? It means that there'd still be hope for me."
- Maria and Black Jack from ova 3
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Kuroo Hazama a. K.a. Blackjack is probably the only character with the highest number of romantic relationships in the Tezuka star system ( compared to other characters) . Despite his appearance, he is considered to be a very attractive man by women. However, the unlicensed surgeon has always been reluctant about getting into a relationship throughout the manga's volumes and ova series. This is due to the nature of Blackjack's character ; it is difficult for him to maintain a serious relationship with a woman as a result of his reputation and fear of not being able to offer them a secure, happy life. ( dude I don't care about your rep, you're just hot and I just wanna bang can't you understand 🙁?)
"I can't offer you a secure life, you know that. Looks have never impressed me, but they impress others, and you're beautiful. You could choose from any man in the world. I'm an outlaw." - Blackjack
( this is literally the cutest quote I've ever heard 😍😍)
His bad boy rep 😈 as we may call it is one of the reasons why most of his relationships don't work out and why he's so reluctant about getting into a relationship. Here, I'm going to try finding other reasons and analizing them. This will, I hope, allow me to understand this character better!
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" Sometimes I wonder if I'm even human anymore. Sex, love... even the slightest yearning I've repressed and rechanneled into my rage to go through each day which passes. It's not that I don't want company, but people who praise me, they have no idea of what lay beneath the surface of my synthetic and borrowed skin. My artificial jaw bone, the muscles from my dead parents, the dead nerves in my stomach from too many self surgeries, the uneven bones of my once amputated arms: this is the true me, and it'd drive any would-be lovers away at first sight. So eventually, it'd always end the same way. And I'd left biding farewell or not without telling my whereabouts. The day I put this on was the end of me. There would be no long lasting love. No real intimacy. No real losing oneself in someone else. Not in this life.
But I don't feel lonely as I know I'll always be alone at final." - Blackjack
And here it is! Another reason!
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In reality, if Blackjack often rejects women's moves towards him, such as Maria's in ova 3, it's because he's in a constant escape against his hatred caused by the events of his past. Thus he's in a constant escape of his past, so as not for all his hatred to catch up on him. Or else, he'd be consumed by it. That's why he always make sure to live in the present moment, thus not wanting to get attached to anyone. So as not to be stuck in past events and always move on with his life. That's what the lyrics of the opening song which describes well his philosophy of life ( Just before the sunrise by the Rhodes) highlights : "When someone asks for your name, answer that you're a traveler. Then bid farewell without telling your whereabouts." I found those lyrics beautiful because it's true that in life, you meet people with who you won't always keep in touch. That's part of life, and you have to get on without them. But what's even more beautiful and what makes Blackjack so serene about it, is that as he had said to Megumi after they had kissed ; Moments and feelings are eternal, they will always exist even when you move on with your life.
( am I just doing advertising for my own meme account?? Looks like it)
But as poetic as it sounds, it can't be that way forever, he's still human and those things such as experiencing love are part of life. Despite his will and need to escape his past and not wanting to fully commit himself to a relationship for various reasons. He's on some occasions had some soft spot for women of his interests. He's not aromantic nor asexual ( nor gay 😂, sorry Kiriko). He's just a man. A man who deep inside of him craves real love and softness, which he missed as a child. And that's one of the reason why Blackjack is reluctant towards getting into a relationship. Because after her mother died, he never truly received any love. He's never truly learned how to receive it nor how to give it. All the energy he could've spend for love was instead spent for his hatred. that's why his relationships are almost always with the same type of people : Mostly kind and compassionate women, because it unconsciously reminds him of his mother who had those qualities. ( yeah, yeah, we could say that he has mommy issues ) but also because those are qualities he values and has himself, but that have sometimes be compromised as he was blinded by his desire of revenge. He also tend to fall for people who got a background similar to him, or who seem to have lived or to be living difficult things or who are determined to achieve something . As those are the crucial things, on which he built his life on. The only crucial feelings he had : Rage and determination, which led him to become the man he is today.
And that's why, as he never truly learned how to receive or give love to other, he's clumsy when it comes to his romantic feelings. Thus acting cold, as he discovers that unlike his hatred, expressing and taking his romantic feelings into account was something he didn't know how to manage. As if he gave so much energy not to let himself consumed by his hatred that he didn't have any energy left for other deep emotions, such as love. Unconsciously afraid of what he can't control, he shut himself from it.
And that's the main reason why his relationships never truly work out: As because he doesn't know how to manage his romantic feelings ( for instance with Megumi), he doesn't do anything about it. As if there is also one thing to know about Blackjack, is that he's got a lot of pride. That's why with Megumi, they were both waiting for each other to make the first step but none of them did ( at least not before she was about to be operated). And that's why if you think about it, for every relationship he had, he's never been the one to make the first step, but is instead waiting for the other person to do it for him : So as not to have the whole sensation of jumping into the unknown by himself. As you can see it with Betty when he's accompanying her to her room but DOESN'T DO A THING until she jumps on him. 🔥👀
And that's why his relationships almost always end the same way, as what he may feel with his partners can sometimes be intense but at the same time shallow. Because he's always been witdrawn in every relationship he had. Never truly taking his feelings into account because of his fear of letting himself be carried by any deep emotion such as love, as the only emotion he's ever managed to tame is his hatred. We could as well say that he's scared of love, scared it'd consume him as much as his hatred would. Thus he protects himself from it and that's why most of his relationships don't work out. It's really sad but it's something he can't break as it's coming from a shell he built for himself so as to mentally survive his trauma. ( here it goes...Gen z and the word trauma 😂)
It's funny because as I'm writing this I'm actually listening to Love Again by Due Lipa
But even if Blackjack may be clumsy when it comes to romantic relationships. If he really cares for someone, he'll always express his love somewhat. Especially with actions. We can see it when for example he makes sure Megumi returns home safe or when he's watching Alba from afar, making sure that she doesn't cut or burn herself while she cooks. And that's how we can see that he's in reality a sincere and kind man.
Another thing that need to be mentioned is that Blackjack is TERRIBLY UNLUCKY when it comes to his choices of love interests 😭😭😂😂😂. Almost everytime he's been with someone, either this person swaps gender, dies, is already married, or suffers from insecurities. Well, lucky in work but unlucky in love as we say.. Poor boy💙
Now, what I'm going to say may seem contradictory compared to everything I just said but think about it : Artistically speaking, If Blackjack was ever to be in a long lasting relationship, the character would lose a part of his charisma. And it'd probably be the end of his adventures. Why? Because once you're officially engaged in a relationship, it's not the same anymore. ( obvisously) As Andy Warrol said : "Fantasy love is much better than reality love. Never doing it is very exciting. The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never met." the author had this idea in mind when it came to Blackjack relationships, ( maybe lol) as the most powerful way to reach the reader was with an impossible, yet present love ( for exemple with Megumi). Plus, according to me, Blackjack ( the character) doesn't need a relationship to be complete. He's a really strong and confident character who has values, who stays loyal to them and who doesn't need to rely on anyone else to achieve things.
Well now enough talking and analyzing! Let's get into the heart of the matter!