chapter 6
[play: tek it by cafuné]
i watch the moon, let it run my mood. can't stop thinking of you.
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maisie
conrad had finished up his smoke break and we decided to go check up on the others. well for me it was mainly belly and that guy that i had left her with. i led the way in through the back door and conrad kept up easily as i navigated us through the crowd to where belly and i were last stood. i looked over to see that the spot was empty and i began to panic a little because she had drank a bit and i had just left her alone with some guy. i was an idiot for that no matter how nice the guy seemed.
"shit. do you see belly?" i looked back at conrad, who picked up on my urgent tone.
"who was she with last? who was the guy?" conrad asked me, his voice still calm compared to mine and it was comforting.
"i don't know. some guy with brown curly hair. he seemed nice, but i shouldn't have just left her." i wiped my hand across my face, stressed.
"hey, its going to be fine. we will find her. belly is smart." he reassured me and we decided to search for her and the others along the way.
we first scoured the kitchen trying to spot belly with her long, dark hair and floral top. there were people grabbing drinks and snacks but no avail. next we tried the living room, which was incredibly packed. people were dancing, talking, drinking, but no avail. we skipped up the stairs, passing couples making out and a few closed bedroom doors. the girls were not belly. no avail.
i groaned feeling a headache coming on, and leaned against a free space on the wall right across from the bathroom. conrad stood beside me, pulling out his phone to call steven or jeremiah to check if she was with them by chance and we had just missed it. they of course weren't picking up. it was a loud ass party and they were enjoying themselves. i had called belly a few times, but no answer.
i stared off into space ahead of me, thinking of what else to do to get a hold of belly. it was in that moment, the bathroom door opened up and out came belly wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. relief swept through me and i engulfed belly in my arms. i didn't care that she had just thrown up and could again. i was relieved that we had found her and she was fine.
"what happened?" she giggled, taken aback and sounding a little more sober.
"my god belly. i couldn't find you and you weren't answering. i got scared." i explained to her, letting go of her finally.
"someone's had a wild night." conrad joked to lighten up the mood, and it had worked.
"yeah. maybe no more drinks for me." belly said, handing me her red solo cup which was still full.
i sniffed it and my face immediately twisted at how strong this drink was. i brought the cup up to my lips, taking the smallest sip. i swear it was 90% alcohol and 10% juice. how the hell did belly even drink some of this. i handed the cup to conrad, who had the same expression of shock to how strong it was. however, a drink was a drink and he wasn't letting it go to waste. he handed me back the cup leaving me some to which i chugged because i wasn't going to back down in front of conrad. he looked down at the empty cup, impressed, while i was holding back a gag.
this was going to hit me later.
we all walked down the stairs and went to go find steven and jeremiah. the party was only getting crazier and conrad said it would be a matter of time before the cops got called. it was approaching 1 am as well, and we all knew laurel would be up with her book stuff anyways. belly and i went to grab steven who was in the kitchen making another drink, while conrad went to go get jeremiah who was playing beer pong.
outside was once again a breath of fresh air from that cooped up house. the five of us stumbled down the street to the jeep. now it was a matter of ruling out who wasn't driving. belly and i were surely out. conrad was starting to feel it from belly's drink. steven still had his drink in his hand. so we were left with jeremiah who hadn't drank anything for the past hour due to winning every round of beer pong he played. he was sure to brag about that, but hey, rightfully so.
we all piled into the car with the same seating arrangements from how we had gotten here. i could feel my head starting to spin from that strong ass drink catching up to me. jeremiah had caught on to how out of it majority of us were and rolled down the windows as a precautionary measure to anyone feeling nauseous. belly assured us that she was fine and in that moment steven was about to get into it with her about drinking.
the wind felt nice. it blew my hair everywhere. most of belly's hair was getting blown onto my face so i turned to conrad who was looking out the window in silence. as jeremiah made a turn, my hair blew onto conrad's face and he squinted his eyes closed at the way it tickled. i told him sorry, over the music, and tucked my hair behind my ears. conrad just looked at me and smiled.
we had made it to our street of houses and at this point conrad, steven, and myself were gone. completely out of it. jeremiah and belly were debating what to do since laurel would definitely be awake. my house was empty and so i decided to offer it up. a look of relief swept over them but getting laurel to stay convinced was the task. belly asked for conrad's phone and pulled up her mothers name. she sent some message saying that we were having a movie night at my house and we knew she would buy it because she trusted conrad a lot.
we were saved. i knew damn well i'd get yelled at if those four went home wasted.
we walked up to my front door and i fumbled for my keys that were looped around my belt buckle. after finally getting them off, i attempted to align the key in the lock and failed the first time, getting a laugh out of everyone. eventually, i got us in.
the house was dark and empty. not a single lamp left on, which i should've kept on because it was pitch black in here. i felt around for the lamp on the table near the entrance, stubbing my toe into the table first. i mumbled a 'fuck' and carefully felt for the switch with my fingers. finally some light. i then went for the light switch near the stairs so we could all get up there in one piece.
it was everyone's first time properly over at my place and i was giving the shittiest tour of the upstair. nonetheless, i still showed them the two guest rooms with queen beds. belly could just sleep with me and the three could figure out who wanted their own space. as jeremiah and steven stood in the hall arguing over who had to sleep by conrad, i was about to show belly my room.
"im gonna pee my pants. where's your bathroom?" she asked, unable to stand still and i directed her to the door to the left.
i went over to my room, turning on my floor lamp since i hated overhead lights. i didn't notice conrad had cared to follow behind until i had turned around with the intent to tell them all something, but ended up almost running straight into him. his eyes were heavy, but he had a dorky smile on his face.
"god you scared me." i started laughing, my hand on my chest.
"i like your room." he told me, his eyes scanning the place and somehow i felt a little self conscious.
a bedroom was so intimate. i mean completely take away the intimate part involving another person. it was your space. a testament to who you really were. it had your favorite colors, pictures, books, notes, items, anything else that represented you. it also came to the way you would keep your room with how tidy it would be. having someone in that space took a lot in my opinion. your room could tell a person everything they needed to know about you. i wasn't sure if i wanted conrad to know this much.
"sorry. it's a little messy." i referred to the clutter on my desk, books left on my bay window, and my poorly made bed.
"can i come in?" he asked me, which i liked, with his eyes straight on my wall full of pictures and notes from friends or past memories.
"yeah sure." i nodded and he walked in my room, taking it in.
i pulled open my drawer, grabbed myself a shirt and shorts. i then thought of belly who was stuck in denim as well so i grabbed her the same combo. i went over to the bathroom, knocking on the door and i could hear the sink on. i told belly that i had left her some clothes outside the door to change into. i then went to check on jeremiah and steven who both ended up passing out on the same bed. i shook my head smiling, and went back to my room.
conrad was studying the pictures on my wall, both his hands in his pockets. he had a small grin on his face. i guess he could piece together what my life was like before cousins. in a way he was getting to know me better, better than words could explain, and i liked that.
"why don't you have yourself in any of these pictures?" he asked me, his words slurring.
"i don't know. does it matter?" i shrugged it off, really not knowing how to explain that i didn't care to be in pictures.
"you should include yourself in pictures. we change so much, it's cool to document different phases of our lives." he told me. "also i would have killed to see what you looked like in middle school." he poked fun at me.
"oh shut up. i'm asking your mom for pictures of younger you. belly told me you had braces and these funny glasses." i teased, and he smirked in order to hide a laugh.
"oh so you're asking around about me? cute." his tone was cocky and it caught me off guard. i never really saw this confident side to him all the time.
"i didn't ask around. belly offered that up." i told the truth, but didn't come off half as confident as him.
"hey." he leaned in close. "no shame in asking."
completely flustered, i didn't even know what else to do or say. belly had once again come to save the day, dismantling our conversation completely. she was changed into my clothes with her party clothes neatly folded in her hands. she yawned and i could see the sleep in her eyes. she got into my bed, taking the right side and mumbled a goodnight.
"we should probably get to bed like the others." i told him, now feeling a lot more sober which amped up my nerves.
"yeah yeah. you're right. goodnight then." conrad said, and made his way out of my room.
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conrad
"goodnight conrad." maisie said, taking my name and it made my stomach flip.
i made my way down the haul to see the empty guest room. i guess jeremiah and steven had both fall asleep together after all that arguing. thank god. jeremiah snored and steven moved around too much. i shut the door behind me, reaching for the bedside lamp to illuminate the room. before me was a bed, two bedside tables, and a dresser across from the bed.
i took off my jeans and flannel, getting into bed. i had been so tired on the drive here but the moment we reached maisie's place i was suddenly wide awake. i laid on my side, my hands tucked under my head. i looked out toward the window which were covered with curtains, but the moon was still peeking through.
i wondered if maisie was tossing and turning like i was or if she really was ready for bed. it didn't matter. it wasn't like id be sat with her all night. i could tell she was a bit hesitant around me. i probably made her feel so standoffish with how irregular i acted with her. it was how i really felt and how i wanted to feel mixing together. she was confused, but i could tell she liked me. maybe not more than a friend, but she considered us friends.
i thought about our stolen glances at the party and the way her eyes lit up when i told her about the stars. she was genuinely interested while i was boring her with details. she was a great girl but i wasn't convinced on taking her as that risk right now. it was unfair to think this way, but maisie would always be there. my mom wouldn't.
the alcohol had started to wear off and i felt like throwing up. i closed my eyes, knowing that if i fell asleep the feeling would go away. i swallowed, feeling how dry my throat was and debated texting maisie if she was awake or just going down and getting water myself. i didn't know her like that. instead i went over to the connecting bathroom, pooling tap water in my hands to drink and also splashing water on my face to try to wash away how gross i felt from that drink.
once i got back into bed, feeling better. i laid down once again, this time finally falling asleep once my head hit the pillow.
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finally an update lol hope u guys enjoy!!!!
im also still planning out the plot so if there are any conrad moments or situations u want to see, pls lmk! it helps with writers block lol