T H I R D P E R S O N
"Someone might want to check him over," Ace said nonchalantly as he gazed at his older brother and Dr Owens. "I think he might've hit his head." He nodded towards Atlas, whom Ace knew was absolutely fine, he just needed more time to think of an excuse for their very strange predicament.
Did Zac see us leave the closet? I fucking hope not. Ace thought to himself, curling his hands into fists. Minus Leo, whom had caught him in a very compromising position with Ati, he'd yet to share his sexuality with any of his brothers. It wasn't that he thought they'd judge him, of course he knew they wouldn't. Ace simply wasn't ready.
Fucking Atlas. This was all his fault.
"Was he feeling faint?" Dr Owens asked, bending down to assess the boy. Confusion taking over his features as he gazed at Atlas' attire. "And why is he dressed in scrubs?"
"Yes, Ace." Zac added, his eyes narrowing at his younger brother. "Please tell?"
"He wasn't feeling faint, the blood on his clothes freaked him out." Ace nodded towards the crimson soaked staff member, purposely avoiding the second question and Zac's gaze for that matter.
"He's fine," Dr Owens sighed, gently pulling Atlas into a seating position and placing him against the wall. "And the scrubs?"
"We were... playing dress up?" Ace stammered. It was a stupid excuse, he knew that, but he had no fucking clue why Atlas was in scrubs to begin with. Not that he minded, not at all.
The scrubs fit Atlas very well, in Ace'a opinion. They were slightly baggy, but also snug in all the right places. And the lack of buttons was an added bonus, making it very fucking easy for Ace to pull them down. Giving him the perfect view of Atlas' toned creamy thighs and tight fitting black boxer shorts. Maybe he should buy Atlas a pair and they could repeat exactly what they done in that closet. Or maybe they could do even more, venture to the places they'd yet to dabble in, places Ace was desperate to go.
Very fucking desperate.
"Dress up?" Zac echoed, kissing his teeth, he folded his arms over his chest. "Ace, I swear to god—"
"Now, now, Zac." Ace tutted loudly, "what did God do?"
"Non essere un culo intelligente," Zac warned, his tone cold. "Tell me the truth."
Ace shrank slightly, Zac was much more angry than he'd imagined. "I told you already, we were playing — "
"Dress up. Yes, you've said." The elder clicked his tongue, "and I don't believe you. You're seventeen, not seven."
Ace rolled his eyes, shrugging as he plopped his shades back on. "You're never too old to express yourself, Zachary."
Seeing Zac's face redden in anger had Ace regretting his words in an instant. Did that mean he'd take the words back? No. Ace was far too proud to admit when he was in the wrong. Unless your name was Leo, or, well... Atlas, you would not receive a sorry from him. Whether it was deserved or not.
"Ace — "
"Holy heck, I feel like shit." Atlas groaned, cutting off Zac's next words, which Ace presumed would be an angry scolding.
Without noticing the extra people surrounding him and Ace, due to his eyes being scrunched tightly shut. Atlas began to voice his thoughts aloud."Why didn't I listen to Emilio? Why did I think I could be the perfect Meredith Grey, when I can't stand the fucking sight of blood."
"Ugh, I should've just taken Leo for a game of real life Mario Kart. That would've been much more fun." Atlas paused, "no, maybe it wouldn't. I wouldn't have met Sexy Seb if I'd done that."
"Sebastian?" Dr Owens frowned, his voice somewhat panicked as he continued. "You've seen patients whilst dressed like this?"
Peeling one eye open, Atlas shrank back at the sight of a very angry Zac and a very panicked doctor. "Um... no?"
"Real life Mario Kart?" Zac asked, and Atlas swore he could see the steam coming from his ears quicker than Thomas the fucking tank engine.
"Well, you see..." Atlas tried to think over his words before he spoke, he really did. "I wanted to zoom him around like bowser, but Leo didn't think that was a wise idea. I think I could've convinced him if Em wasn't so desperate to take him for some fresh air. I mean, c'mon, what sounds more fun? Zooming around the halls avoiding people as though they were bananas, or sitting outside? Booooring. And do you know, Em wouldn't let me lift Leo?"
Atlas scoffed loudly, completely forgetting who he was speaking to as he continued, his arms flailing around as he did. "He said I had no stamina! I, I as in me! Talk about audacity. Like, has he looked in the mirror? He's no fucking Chris Hemsworth himself with those spaghetti noodles he calls arms."
"Plus, I have stamina. A lot of fucking stamina. Don't I, A—"
Ace coughed loudly, the sound breaking Atlas from his never ending rant.
"Oh, lol. Isn't this great." Atlas mumbled, his skin paling as he sheepishly looked at Zac. "Ignore me, I think I'm concussed."
Ace snorted, "Did you just say 'lol'?"
Zac was not pleased, not one bit. Running his hand over the stubble lining his jaw, he clicked his tongue and focused his attention on Atlas. "Emilio has taken Leo where?"
L E O
Brightness was never something I was accustomed to. Which is why I couldn't seem to tear my eyes away from the sun as it began to set between the trees. My gaze tracing the vibrant colours of orange and yellow, mixed with subtle hints of dusted pink.
This was the first time I'd ever truly admired the sky at the end of daylight, the first time I'd studied it, when it not be dark with only the small flickers of light that came from the stars. It was beautiful, the moulding colours, the subtle glow from the dimming sun, the dispersing clouds... darkness was familiar to me, this was not.
"Le?"
"Hm?" Without removing my gaze, I hummed softly.
I wanted to paint this imagine in my mind, to memorise each and every colour and use them to replace the endless shades of black and grey.
"You've been quiet for a while," Em said. His voice soft, almost hesitant. "What are you thinking so hard about?" I could feel his grip on my shoulder tighten.
Don't let him in.
Exhaling softly through my nose, I diverted his question. "What's your favourite colour?" I asked, already knowing the answer.
Blue.
"Blue," his response came immediately, and I could tell just by his tone that he was confused, yet he still played along. "What's yours?"
He already knows.
He's tricking you.
You've said too much.
"I don't know."
Grey would always be my favourite colour, not the plain dulling grey that seemed to cloud my mind on a daily basis, no. Deep gunmetal grey, that, when under the light, reflected small flickers of silver. The exact shade of his eyes, the only shade of grey that would ever feel safe, that would ever feel like home.
Emilio scoffed, his hand leaving my shoulder. The lack of his touch, his warmth, making me shiver. "Liar."
Frowning, I drew my gaze from the colours and turned to him. "What?"
"Why are you doing that? Why are you trying to shut down?" He asked, his eyes holding mine. Grey, unsure and guarded, though I could see the small hints of sadness breaking through.
You're the cause of his sadness.
"Emmy, I'm not." I sighed, couldn't he understand how hard this was for me? To open up, to share everything I've kept hidden for so long. How much more did he want me to give? Haven't I said enough? "It's just a colour, it's not important." I said, knowing it was nothing to do with that.
"Bullshit, Leo." His hand gripped my jaw, forcing me to meet his gaze. "Don't do this, please don't." His lip trembled with the last two words.
Pulling from his grip, I dug my nails into my palms and exhaled a loud breath. "Do what, Emilio?"
I could see the way his jaw clenched at the use of his full name and how his eyes dulled further, if that were even possible. My chest felt strained as guilt squeezed heavily on my heart.
"Don't shut me out. Please, amore." He moved his hands to mine, pulling my nails from my palms, tutting at the sight of my crimson stained skin. "Don't take three steps forward, only to take two back."
Don't listen to him.
He's trying to trick you.
It's a trick, it's all a trick.
"Shut up." I clenched my eyes shut tightly, begging for them to stop.
"Le Le," he called me my childhood nickname, whilst his hand caressed my cheek. His thumb brushing my skin tenderly, making my pulse rise with each and every stroke. "You're okay, I'm here. Open your eyes, amore. Ignore them, they're not here."
But he was wrong, they were here, they were always here. They would never leave.
You know how to make us stop.
You failed once, nothings stopping you from trying again.
"You're wrong," I told Emilio, subconsciously leaning into his touch. "You're so fucking wrong."
"Le, please."
Shut him up.
Do it.
"Can I have a smoke?" I asked him, deliberately changing the subject. I couldn't talk about this anymore, it was too much, everything was too much.
"I don't have any." He lied. Emilio always had a pack of smokes. Unlike me, he wasn't an avid smoker, rarely smoking anymore than two or three a week and even then, that was only in social or stressful situations.
But he always carried a pack.
"Please, Emmy." My eyes pleading, almost puppy like. "I know you have them. I really need one. Please."
He chewed on his bottom lip, his eyes telling me just how conflicted he felt. After close to sixty seconds of gazing at my deflated, yet hope-filled expression, Emilio exhaled a long sigh.
"Fine," he removed his hand from my cheek and dug through his pockets, handing me the pack of cigarettes. "This is a very bad idea, amore. I don't condone this whatsoever."
"I don't condone this," I repeated his words with a snort, gripping the smoke between my teeth, I stared at him amused. "You're sounding like a dad now."
Just as I thought he would, Em grinned at my words. What a disgustingly kinky little shit. "As long as I'm your daddy, then that's fine."
Rolling my eyes, I lit the tip of my smoke and smirked at him. "In your dreams, tesoro."
Groaning, Emilio pressed his back against the bench and stared at the sky. "Believe me, amore. I've dreamt of you more than once."
"Really?" I tilted my head to the side and studied him as I inhaled the smoke. "I'm flattered to be the star of your wet dreams, Em. Truly, I am."
He cackled and turned his now bright eyes to mine. "If you're so flattered, then why don't you make my dreams a reality, hm? What do you say, Le?" He took in my expression before pouting, his grey eyes wide. "Please?"
"Are you begging me right now?" I raised an eyebrow. "If I'm not correct, begging usually involves kneeling..."
When the fuck did I get this bold? Normally, I would scoff and roll my eyes at Emilio's need for dirty flirting, often changing the subject before things became too heated. But this time I initiated it, I took the flirting to a higher level and I'm really fucking glad I did. Seeing the brightness in his eyes and the red tint of his cheeks made it all worth while.
Licking his lips, Emilio moved closer, his face mere inches from mine, a teasing glint in his eyes. "I'd get on my knees for you anytime, Leo. All you need to do is say the word." He told me, his breath fanning across my lips with every word he spoke.
"I—"
"Go on a date with me."
Blinking, my mind went blank and my mouth dropped open in shock. "A date?" I repeated, the words feeling heavy on my tongue, similar to how my heart felt in my chest.
"Mhm, a date." Emilio confirmed, placing a gentle kiss on my lips. "I know this isn't the most romantic way to ask you." He admitted rather sheepishly, "but I'd really like to take you out. So, will you?"
His face was so close to mine, his eyes entrapping me and I couldn't think, I couldn't move, I could barley even breathe. I pressed my forehead to his and raised my free hand to his jaw, caressing his skin just as he had mine. How could someone so beautiful- in every way, shape and form, want someone like me? No matter how many times Em had told me what I meant to him, there was still that small flicker of doubt that had embedded itself to my heart.
You don't deserve him.
They were right, he deserved someone better, someone who wasn't damaged and used. Yet, he wanted me? I didn't deserve his love, not one bit, I knew that. He knew that. But there was a small selfish part of me that didn't want to let him go. Not now, not ever. And for once, I allowed myself to be selfish. For as long as he'll have me, I'll do everything I can to make myself even half as worthy as I should be for him.
Fuck Marco, fuck the voices, fuck the insecurities, fuck it all.
Pressing a soft kiss to his lips, I pulled back and smiled at him. A soft, genuine smile. "Emmy, I—"
"LEO!"
T H I R D P E R S O N
Emilio and Leo both froze at the sound of Zac's voice. "Shit," Leo hissed, pulling back from his best friend, his eyes staring at the cigarette between his fingers before flickering to Zac's enraged expression as he approached them with heavy steps.
"Oops, daddy," Emilio whispered, pausing slightly, "or should I say zaddy, is angry." He grimaced as he stole another glance at Zac, "very angry."
"Emilio, shut up." Leo stared at him with a mixture of a what the fuck and are you kidding me expression. Now was not the time for jokes, especially not with how pissed Zac was. Fuck, Leo had never seen him look so angry.
"Emilio, Atlas is in the waiting area. Callan is with him, he'll take you both home." Zac said, his voice surprisingly calm, unlike his eyes, which were glued to Leo's hand. "Leave, now."
"Mhm, will do." Emilio dropped his head, offering Leo a sympathetic smile as he stood from the bench. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"No, you won't." Zac stated in a matter-of-fact tone. "I think it's best if you two spend a few days a part. Maybe then you'll see just how stupid you've both been. That extends to Atlas as well."
Leo paled, please don't take him away from me. "Dad—"
"Don't, Leo." Zac cut him off with a raised hand. Turning to Emilio with a clenched jaw, he said. "I'm not going to repeat myself."
Emilio nodded, too scared to do much more. Before he got the chance to leave, Zac placed a hand on his arm, effectively holding him in place. "The cigarettes."
Wordlessly, Emilio handed Zac the half pack of smokes. God, he'd never seen Zac this mad. Is it bad that this is turning me on? Em thought, shaking his head rapidly to rid of his crude thoughts. Bad, Emilio, bad boy.
"Zac, I—"
Without letting him say- what Zac could only presume to be an apology, he cut him off. "Leave."
Casting Leo one last glance, Emilio followed Zac's orders and heading back inside.
"Don't move." Zac ordered Leo, pulling the cigarette from his hand, stubbing the end with his thumb before discarding it into the trash can to their left. "Dr Owens and some nurses are coming out right now to take you back."
"Dad, please. Just let me explain."
"No, Le. I can't believe this." Zac clicked his tongue and shook his head. "You're in recovery, you've literally just woken up and you're already compromising your health further. I'm so angry with you right now, I can't speak to you. I don't want to say something that I'll regret."
Guilt ridden, Leo pressed his lips into a thin line. He'd fucked up, big time.
***
The hospital room was silent, the boys: Leo, Ace, Grey and Carter, stared wordlessly at Zac as he burned his footprints into the off white linoleum floor with his constant pacing.
"Is there a reason you're so pissed?" Ace dared to say, ignoring the wide-eyed looks of his brothers. "So he went outside for fresh air, he's fine, Zac. You're overreacting."
Zac paused in his steps, twisting his body, he tilted his head and stared at Ace with the coldest expression the boys had ever seen. "Overreacting?" He repeated, "tell me, Ace. Who's the parent here, you, or me?"
Gulping, Ace squared his shoulders.
"You, but—"
"Exactly." Zac cut him off, taking a firm step forward. "If I wanted your input, I would've asked. You're in no position to question me, not after what happened earlier." Ace paled. "So keep your fucking mouth shut and be prepared for a long chat when we go home. Capito?"
Ace remained silent, the tips of his ears burning red in a mixture of embarrassment and anger.
"Ho detto, capito?" Zac said, his fingers gripping Ace's jaw in a gentle yet firm hold.
With a clenched jaw and narrowed eyes, Ace huffed. "Capito."
"Good," Zac dropped his hand from his brothers face and turned to Carter. "Take him home."
Carter nodded, he wouldn't dare defy Zac, nope, no chance. Not because he was scared of him, of course not. "C'mon, Ace. Let's go." Without giving Ace a chance to respond, Carter gripped his wrist and pulled him from the room.
"I'll go find Lily and the twins." Grey said, excusing himself from the room.
The silence was deafening, Leo could feel his anxiety rise with each and every second that passed. He knew he'd angered Zac by leaving the room, and worse, he knew he'd disappointed him by smoking.
"I'm sorry." Leo mumbled weakly, peering up at Zac. "I didn't mean to upset you."
"I know you didn't, Leo." Zac sighed, turning to stare at him. Moving forward, he took a seat on the edge of Leo's bed. "Do you understand why I'm upset?"
"Yeah," Leo said, his vision blurring as the lump in his throat grew. "You're angry that I left the room and you're disappointed that you caught me smoking. I should've thought about how you would've felt, I shouldn't have been so fucking selfish. I—"
"Leo, stop." Zac moved closer and gripped Leo's hands tightly in his own. "You're not selfish, not one bit. What you done was stupid and reckless, but you're a kid. I'm not going to pretend that I'm not angry or disappointed. Of course I am, but I'm your Dad, Leo. I'm a parent and you're going to do things that I won't agree with."
Leo's shoulders slumped.
You're a disappointment.
"But, that doesn't mean I love you any less. That doesn't take away from the pride you make me feel for you on a daily basis. Yeah, you fucked up and I can assure you it won't be the last mistake you make, Le. As I said, you're still a kid. Part of being human, of growing up is that we make mistakes, then, we face the consequences and we learn from them, we grow."
Zac took a gentle hold of Leo's chin and tilted his head back, forcing him to meet his gaze. "I will never stop loving you." He said, knowing that reassurance was what Leo needed right now. "Even if I'm angry, I'll still be here, Le. I'll always be here."
"Always?" Leo whispered, feeling the warmth of his own tears as they trailed down his cheeks.
"Eternally." Zac reassured, pulling Leo into his arms, cradling him tightly to his chest. "You'll never get rid of me, fuck Leo. When are you going to get it into your thick skull that this is forever. Okay? The love I have for you is endless."
Leo smiled, the same fake smile he used that fooled them all. "I know, I'm sorry. I love you, Dad."
"I love you more," Zac sighed, tightening his hold.
Pressing his face into his Dad's chest, Leo's smile dropped. He knew Zac believed him, no one ever questioned his smile, well, almost no one. It was better this way, better that Zac didn't see behind his facade. Because, in Leo's mind— to fake something is easier than to admit how you truly feel.
Lies can't hurt you as much as the truth can.
"Dr Owens is coming to check your vitals bambino, then Lil wants to have a chat with you." Zac said, brushing his fingers through Leo's tangled curls. "Is that okay with you?"
"Yeah," Leo whispered, feeling somewhat anxious about taking to his twin. "That's fine."
***
End of chapter 42
Yeah sooo I may have bent the truth a little... no Leo and Lily or Jack and Leo, I know! I'm sorry!
On the plus side, they're definitely gonna be in the next chapter, including a little Jalex scene.
Also, sorry for the delay, I've had so many family events this week that I had no time to write. I'll try and make this a double update for you guys! I'm sharing the next chapter as we speak! ❤️
I really don't like this chapter at all meh
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