Notes: Ok, so I have four weeks left until I leave for school. I'd like to finish before then so that school doesn't postpone updates. I have no idea how crazy my school life will be, so I don't want to risk it. If I have to go over four weeks, I will. But the goal is now a maximum of four chapters left. I'm aiming for three, but it could be less or more. But just so y'all know, we're almost done. Sorry this chapter is a day later than it should have been. I think knowing that I'm almost done made me too sad to want to write😂. Anyway, hope you enjoy!
You woke to Loki's face in front of yours. He was still on his back, but his head had turned to the side. You were curled on your side, with your face on the pillow directly next to his. Surprisingly, your first instinct wasn't to move away. Instead you smiled at the man in front of you. Careful not to wake him, you gently slid your hand from where it rested on his arm. Propping yourself in a sitting position, you zoned out for a bit while your mind woke up. The first thing you noticed was the tray on Loki's bedside table. It had the medicine he was supposed to take when he was up. That meant someone had seen the two of you sleeping together. Though your stomach felt the small sting of embarrassment, you were used to what people would say and think. Knowing they were right, now that you'd admitted your feelings to yourself, made some scenarios weirder, but sometimes, like now, it made you not give a damn. The two of you had slept in the same bed before after all. And you really did love him, and it had been the greatest comfort to just lay there and hold his hand. It was like all the fear, all the guilt and problems tormenting you over the last few days was vented to him without having said a word. He'd known. He known by your simple response, and he'd given all the comfort words never could. That silent understanding. The two of you had been through so much recently, and that had been conveyed in one small gesture of resting together, finally after all the struggle.
But that's all it had been, a comforting gesture. You knew he cared for you in a certain way, but was it the same way you'd recently discovered you cared for him? You didn't dare hope or engage that thought, because the fear of what the answer would be if you were bold enough to tell him made you feel sick. You didn't want to ruin what you had with him. No, you couldn't ruin what you had with him. If not for your sake, at least for his. He'd found a friend. One he cared enough about to go to great lengths to protect. One he'd snapped for. How could you potentially change that friendship by putting him on the spot? By forever making that friendship awkward if he didn't feel the same way? Was there a chance he did? Your stubborn and "realistic" side still wanted to shout no, but you had to face the truth that you'd never been real to yourself about any of this for a while. Therefore, you couldn't ignore the obvious chance that he could like you. Looking back on so many things, now that you weren't in denial, you saw how they could indicate he liked you. His looks from time to time, the things he'd done for you, conversations here or there that made more sense if viewed with the idea that he liked you.
Yet there was still the chance that that was all in your head. That you were remembering things differently now in an attempt to convince yourself he felt the same. Or maybe all those awkward times like New Year's Eve were just you being unable to confess your feelings to yourself. That you were looking at him differently, and not the other way around. That you were seeing what you wanted to see, even if you always told yourself that's not what you wanted.
Could you risk it? Was it selfish? To want to tell him so badly, and to now want to hear that you weren't imagining things, that he did like you too? If you were wrong, you could hurt Loki. Not that he wouldn't be kind, but the relationship between the two of you would be changed forever. Could you do that to him? All to ease your own desire and curiosity? How would he look back on your times if you were wrong? All those silly times, all of those taunts and arguments and aggressive feuds, all those actions that were like two best friends unafraid to insult the other because both never cared. Would he see them differently? Would he see someone who wasn't genuinely comfortable just being that best friend, but rather someone who always wanted more? You knew it wasn't true. You didn't always love him like this. He really was your best friend. But would he understand that? Could you ruin those memories, prevent a future for new ones, by being the one that just had to go and ask for more? He didn't deserve that. He deserved to have some sense of normalcy, of consistency. A friend he can count on to be a friend, not some girl drooling over him.
Maybe some day, you thought, smiling sadly down at him, But I'll always love him. Always have, even if it used to be in a different way. If best friends is where this stays, I'll happily have the best best friend. I'll be what he needs me to be, because he deserves it.
You thought of home and your smile faded.
It's over. Which means I'm not needed anymore.
You weren't upset over the thought of seeing your parents again, or your friends. In fact, the last few months had made that previous life seem so distant, so nostalgic, in a sense. You missed aspects of it, your loved ones certainly being on that list. You wanted to tell your Marvel friend, who you'd consider your best friend at home, all about everything. But going back meant saying goodbye. Staying meant saying goodbye. Either way, there was no path that didn't hurt. If you went back, was there a point in telling Loki how you felt before leaving?
Sure, make things awkward for him just before you leave. What a great parting gift. And if I found out that he did like me? Now I just made leaving harder on both of us! Unless...
Could you do that? You'd told him once that you couldn't just leave your family. But then you'd also said it'd have to be a compelling reason? One you knew for sure would be strong enough to justify leaving without ever telling your parents. Did finding love count? Deep down, you knew it did. You'd told Loki you'd know what that compelling reason was when it came, and now you did. If he loved you, you were pretty sure you'd stay. You were pretty sure your family would have wanted you to. Like how Loki said they'd want you to be where you were happy. You weren't able to justify staying here just because you liked it. But falling in love with, not only Loki, but anyone who you got along with so greatly was a rarity in any universe. So if you told him and he said he liked you back, you'd stay. Your head screamed at that thought too, like you were betraying your family. No matter what you decided, you were going to lose. You couldn't have both worlds.
It doesn't matter cuz I can't tell him! I can't ruin it for him. Can't risk it just for myself. He's Loki. If he wants me to stay, if he feels that way, he'd tell me. Or would he? I don't really know, this is new ground with Loki! He essentially told Sylvie when push came to shove, so he'd tell me? Listen to yourself! Talking about the time a fictional character told another fictional character he liked her! And now you're doing what you said you wouldn't, and you're falling for the guy you grew up watching! That's sick and weird! What would he think if he doesn't like you like that? If he finds out all your talk about not crushing on his character is nullified by your current feelings? Gosh I'd look like such a slut! Not to him, maybe, but who knows! Coming here to save a man just to get with him? How does that look?
None of it mattered. You sighed and tried pushing the debate from your mind. Whether it looked messed up or not, and you knew it certainly did, you didn't come here to hook up with your favorite character. You didn't anticipate being his friend. You didn't anticipate falling in love with someone who shouldn't have been real. Who wasn't real eight months ago. You knew your tendency to ignore situations until they came to a head had gotten you into trouble, but once again you couldn't see any other course of action. If you told him, and the answer wasn't what you wanted to hear, you'd have screwed up big time, making leaving or staying more difficult. If you didn't tell, then you either left or stayed still on great terms, still as best friends. Part of you didn't believe Loki viewed you as anything more than a best friend, but you could no longer tell yourself that with a hundred percent confidence. For the first time since you arrived, you accepted that you didn't know shit. You always pretended to, but you never did. And being uncertain was uncomfortable and scary. You'd wait and see what happened, but you were too terrified to tarnish what you had by being greedy.
"You alright?"
You snapped from your thoughts, realizing you were zoning out again and probably looking really distressed. Loki's eyes were open, looking up in concern.
"Yeah, no I'm good just...still thinking of...everything."
You knew you couldn't lie without him most likely noticing, so you told a half truth. With everything that had happened, and your evident gloom over it, Loki would hopefully think this was still about all your stress and grief implied at the end of last night's discussion.
He reached for your hand again, looking in understanding as he took it comfortingly.
It was moment's like these! The prolonged eye-contact, the looks! How were you supposed to decide what was friendly and what wasn't? Movies always have those scenes where there's this silent understanding between two individuals, like a "yeah we like each other" message conveyed telepathically. Usually this was followed by a kiss or something, and that's what had always worried you about some of these situations. Were they in your head? Did you freak out for no reason? Did movies make you view reality as something it wasn't? Had you fled his room that one time when there really was no kissing scene about to happen? Had you hyped up all those other weird times? Why couldn't reality be a little more forthright? Enough with this silent looks bullshit!
Despite these thoughts, you smiled back, not pulling your hand away.
"How're you feeling?" you asked, sitting further upright to reach your arm across to his bandages.
"Not sure you're qualified for checking wounds," he smirked.
"I'm just looking, I ain't gonna touch."
You lifted what you could from the bandage near his neck, seeing the sore red skin underneath.
"Well, it doesn't look crispy at least."
"You're disgusting, you know that?"
"How else would you describe burnt skin?"
"Burnt."
"Regardless, it's looking better. You feel ok?"
"You know me, Darling."
"So more tired than you'll admit?"
He gave you a look but sighed.
"It's fine," you smiled victoriously, "Cuz you're not leaving this bed for a good week at least."
"I won't need that long."
"What's your rush?"
"Would you want to be stuck in a hospital?"
"If I'd just nearly killed myself and beat destiny by being alive when I shouldn't be? I think I'd take the rest. Hell, I didn't even snap and I'm digging just chilling for a bit. We won, dude. Take a break."
He seemed almost sad at the news that you'd won.
"What?" you asked, face scrunched in confusion.
"I...I suppose you'll be going back soon."
"I'm staying til you're healed."
"Not that," he gave a quick chuckled, "I mean home."
"Oh," you said somberly, swallowing a bit as you stalled for something to say. He didn't press you, eyes filled with a sad understanding.
"It's ok," he whispered, squeezing your hand a little tighter, "You have a family."
"I have one here too."
An amused smile broke on his face and he shook his head.
"What?" you questioned.
"How we've changed sides since the last we spoke of this."
"Well not totally, I mean I'm not saying I should stay. Not that I don't want to!" you clarified quickly.
"And I'm not saying you should leave."
"What are any of us saying then?" you laughed.
"That you should do what your loved ones would want."
"How..." you started saying, stopping when your voice cracked, "...How am I supposed to know without asking them? And I can't do that without already having made a choice."
"What do you want for the people you love?"
You stared at him, mentally inserting him in that hypothetical.
"I'd want them to be happy."
He nodded, eyes never leaving yours.
"But I'm happy both here and home!"
"What else would you want for...for the people you love?"
You wondered how your face didn't give yourself away as you stared at him.
"I'd want them to have a life. To be safe, to have a future. To not be alone."
"So it stands to reason that your family would want the same for you. That we want the same for you. "
"That still describes both worlds though."
"Darling...it's your home."
"So you think I should go back?" you asked, unable to not feel disappointed.
"I think you need to decide where your future lies."
"Oh, so nothing too difficult," you huffed sarcastically.
"Remember that compelling reason?" he asked, sounding hesitant as he did.
"Yeah?" you practically whispered, drowned in hopeful anticipation that he'd say what you wanted to hear.
He stared at you with such kindness, yet uncertainty. Like he was nervous. Your mind told you he was going to say it. But then the look changed.
"You never found it," he stated rather than questioned.
"Uh...I--I guess not...but what if it's all of this? All of you? How do I know where my future is? I mean, go back to working at a library or stay in the MCU? I mean, come on!"
"You and I both know that no matter what world you live in, you will live your life how you want. Do the same things that make you happy. It's the people you have to leave that hurts."
"I don't want to choose," you whimpered, eyes threatening to start watering.
"Then let me help you," he said, hand rubbing your arm, "The choice will always be yours. But family is the most important thing. You gave me back mine. Gave me a new one. And yeah, it would suck having to choose between them. But there are some kinds of love that go deeper. Family love is one of those. Your parents are missing out on an exceptional, kind, stubborn little ass of a daughter."
You laughed at that, though his words made some tears escape as you hung your head.
"And I," he continued, placing a hand on your cheek to raise your gaze, "Would never deprive people of someone so amazing. They need you."
You had so many mixed emotions, you didn't know what to think. He'd made you miss your parents even more. But was he saying it because he thought you wanted to go back? That he could make the choice easier? Did he really think it was best for you to go? Would he tell you to go if he liked you? Either way, whatever his feelings were, he had decided the easiest course of action was to encourage you to return. What could you say to that without repeating your troubles again? You had to give up one family, and Loki thought it should be this new one.
"It's ok," he said, wiping a tear off your face, "You've saved us. You've given us everything. It's time you did something for yourself. Time you got your family back."
"I--I'm g--gonna," you took a breath to stop your choked up stuttering, "I'm gonna miss you guys."
"Not a day will go by that we won't miss you," he answered, eyes moist but tears reined in. He was being so calm, so strong. The decision seemed easy for him, and you slapped yourself mentally for making it harder than it was.
"You should take," you waved to the tray of medicine, unable to think of the word, "ya know, that."
"Medicine's a particularly hard word, I know. Don't strain yourself too much."
"My brain isn't working this morning."
"This morning?"
"You're trying to make it easy to leave you, aren't you?" you tried joking, standing from the bed as you did. The joke felt hollow, though you said it with as much conviction as you could.
"Why focus on it now? I mean, you don't have to leave right away, we have time."
"We don't even know if we can get me back," you said as you handed the medicine to him, "My decision might be made for me."
He drank the liquid, contorting his face in mild disgust as he swallowed.
"You try drinking it," he said in response to your expression.
"No it's just, you'd never show that on screen ya know? Not liking something like medicine, you'd drink it like a man."
"Well no one else is around," he shrugged.
"What's it gonna be like...when you're back to a movie character?"
"Hey, I said don't focus on it."
"I know I know, but I just..." you sighed, "I know. Sorry."
The two of you were quiet for a few seconds.
"Even though the films are the worst of me, you know what I am. Always did. I used to think it was something repulsive, and also something to be proud of. But through the films, you and many others apparently saw something deeper than the surface. You'll remember. And you'll know. We'll never just be movie characters. At least you can see us whenever you want."
"It won't be the same."
"It'll be something."
"Now look who's sounding sad," you nudged him, "We'll get you a phone. Rack up some photos or something."
"We have that prank still on camera?" he smirked.
"No, uh...we don't," you said sadly, "My phone was in the compound."
"I'm sorry about your things."
"It's just stuff," you shrugged, "I can replace them. And look, at least one thing survived."
You reached down the top of your suit, pulling out the crystal that had been hanging on your neck.
"You kept it on during battle?" he asked, slightly amused.
"Well yeah I didn't know what was gonna happen, but I wasn't gonna leave it behind."
He smiled as you rolled the crystal between your fingers.
"Besides, I never take it off," you added.
"You know what was taken off and left to burn? That coat you got from---"
"Ooookaay," you laughed, "It's summer, so I don't need to wear a---"
"So mine's the more practical of the two."
"Practical? We're basing gifts on practicality now? That's boring."
"Ok, you get the most use of mine."
"You liked the coat before you knew it was from Zemo."
"That does tarnish the gift a bit, yeah."
"I thought y'all were best friends now?"
"Who told you that?"
"Well he's not dead."
"And that means he's my friend?"
"With you? If you don't kill them it's the closest thing."
"Wow, I'm still that low to you?"
"Always," you laughed.
"Well I hate to disappoint," he held his hand out with a smile, "Had to be the God of Mischief you were expecting to meet."
"And you were everything I thought you would be."
There was another somber pause, the joking manner not enough to hide the sad nature of the conversation. The two of you had come to the conclusion that you'd be parting ways, and no amount of teasing could wash away the genuine sadness, nor stop the sincere compliments you couldn't contain now that you knew you'd be leaving one day.
"And you were more than I bargained for when I threw you in prison."
"That'll teach you," you giggled, "Imprison me and you just might have the terrible fate of never getting rid of me."
"It wasn't all bad."
"Nah, I taught you how to prank properly, so there's that."
"Yes, you taught me. It took enlisting a whole army, but you got those pranks out," he said in mock praise.
"What did ever happen to the Prank Wars?"
"Perhaps we outgrew them."
"You mean matured??? Gross."
"Heavens no. Simply found more enjoyable ways of spending our time."
"More enjoyable than pranks?"
"Fine, equally enjoyable ways."
"Maybe we should team up for one? Halloween was a success, just imagine what else we could do?"
"Who should be the target?"
"Sam," the two of you said synchronously.
"We should probably wait til things are like not batshit crazy," you said, "Wait til we have a new compound or something and a bunch of people didn't just die and come back after a month."
"I guess it would be poor taste."
"And we'd never do something in poor taste."
"We're the epitome of class."
"That's us."
A nurse entered then to check on Loki and ask about breakfast. After they tended to Loki and left the trays, the two of you chatted about what had happened while you were away. You demanded to know about time travel.
"I'm afraid I really can't speak for the others."
"Then we're gonna need to have a group storytime when we get back down there. But what about your trip? What stone did you go after? Who was with you?"
"Clint and Zemo were---"
"THEY PAIRED YOU WITH ZEMO???"
Your mouth was wide with shock, and your outburst nearly made Loki jump.
"Yes, they did," he said, pretending to act as if there was nothing strange about that.
"Were they trying to set up as dramatic a scene as they could???"
"He was the last man left and we needed a spot for him. Asgard and 2012 weren't an option, and the least damage he could do was on a mission where he didn't really have a job and Barton and I could watch him."
"Is that where you guys became friends?"
"We're not friends!"
"But you don't hate him?"
"He's a constant reminder of how I was, so I despise everything about him," he spewed out without thinking. "I mean he... he's like I was. Blinded. If there's not a chance for him to be different, there wasn't for me."
"Damn...did the two of you like talk or anything?" you asked slowly.
"A bit."
"You came to this conclusion over one conversation?"
"He was in the compound for longer before that. But... I guess the conversation got me thinking. It wasn't until I ran into myself that I realized how much I hate former me, and Zemo seemed to hate what he did to you, so I guess...I guess I understood."
"Wait you met YOURSELF?"
"Are you going to exclaim over everything?"
"Oh I'm sorry, am I supposed to just pretend you meeting yourself is normal??? What the hell happened? What year did you go to? What did you say?"
Loki told the story, though withholding details of his conversation with himself.
"Talk about facing who you were, literally! Like literally having to overcome your past, in the form of your past self!"
"Of course you'll analyze it like it's a movie," he rolled his eyes.
"You can't tell me that isn't a movie set up."
"I didn't pause long enough to consider it, I was too busy facing the very real very murderous non-fictional me," he sassed.
"So you already knew what younger you was thinking. That's so weird, cuz I'm sure you, as in younger you, didn't like being told what he was thinking."
"I said he came around."
"Wow, I wish I was there. You were younger you once, what would you have thought if you could see future you and me as friends?"
Loki thought of what he had told himself.
"I'd say I wouldn't be surprised that I was happy having a friend, even if I would deny that it's anything I'd have ever wanted. I would be surprised that it actually worked out though. Though I'd know deep down that I had already started to like your company."
"Awwww, did you tell him that?" you asked annoyingly.
"In a way."
"Gosh I wish I was there. What about the others though? What were their missions?"
The two of you spent hours catching up. He told you about the last month, how everything went, the time travel missions, what went wrong and what went right. You couldn't believe it had all actually worked.
"I can't believe Zemo came."
"Guilt makes people do crazy things."
"He's clever, so he probably knew something was up before I went silent. I was acting strange, or letting messages go for too long. Sure it wasn't a shocker when people started disappearing."
"Not a shock?" he said like it was the stupidest thing you could have said.
"Well yeah I'm sure people dying is still gonna catch you by surprise, but I mean the overall event was---"
"Darling, I knew what we were fighting to prevent and still took days to get over the shock. We all did. There is no preparing for something like that. You can't possibly wrap your mind around the idea until it happens, and even then it seems impossible."
"Ok, so that was stupid to say, but you know what I mean. He knew something was up."
"Didn't keep him from looking as horrible as the rest of us when he first came."
"Oooo he must have been absolutely biting his tongue off to keep from running his mouth. And the shame from having to go against his pride? I woulda paid to see that."
"This is why we're friends," he smiled.
"I'd tell this to Zemo's face too, he knows I'd get a kick out of seeing him have to work with you guys. The second I get back down there I'm telling him."
"If he hasn't run off yet."
"He said he'd stay, and Cap said he could."
"Great."
"I know he's...well, still a bit of an ass. But he's trying. Where he ends up just might not be the same as where you've come to. Some people never get over hatred, and honestly it's understandable to always view someone a certain way after such a tragedy. It's got to have forever changed how he views the Avengers, and I get that. He can't help but think of his family, which would make being around the team really uncomfortable. That doesn't mean he can't do better away from them. Unlike you, I think distance is his thing. What he needs to continue."
"A very great distance."
"Oh stop it," you slapped his leg, "I hope I'm wrong. I hope he can do what you do. He'd be a good addition."
"To the team??? Darling, do you honestly think they'd allow a guy like him to---" he stopped, as if remembering the great deal worse he'd done before they let him in the compound.
"Don't look so glum," you smiled, "In the past, remember? But if you can do it, he can, right?"
"I hope so," he said sincerely, "Because I see why you like him. And he cares for you, that much is clear. He's not terrible, and for you I'd even try to like him."
And so this is how you spent your time with Loki. The two of you talked, read, played stupid little games you made up on the spot, argued, joked, ate, slept, and repeated it all again. You'd leave to change, take care of yourself, get out now and again, but you spent most of your time with Loki, and you still slept there. Thor and Odin would stop by often, the former bringing news from earth for the both of you. By the end of the first week, clean up of the compound's former grounds was done. All that remained was the charred, crater filled land, and the hole where your new home had been. Thor said Tony was helping the world recover from the last month, though significantly less damage had been done than would have occurred in a five year time lapse. Tony had, for the time being, relocated the team to a resort along the beach. Pairs of people essentially had their own beach house, each one adjacent to the next. Why he'd chosen this location out of the many other buildings and facilities he owned? Because he said the team needed a vacation. He wasn't wrong, and you couldn't wait to get back.
Loki was much stronger, able to move more, sit up easier, and use his right hand. At the week and a half point, you watched as the doctors helped him stand. His legs were a little wobbly from the lack of activity, but he adapted quickly. Soon you were able to walk with him, though his arm remained in a sling. Another few days of magic and medicine and Loki's sling was gone. For the first time, his bandages were removed completely.
"How does it feel?" you asked as the two of you sat at the familiar table in Prince's Hall.
"Still...new? Like the skin hasn't been touched by clothing before and is still getting used to it."
"So kinda tender?"
He nodded, flexing his fingers as he looked at his arm.
"But besides that, everything's good? It doesn't hurt to move? Strength is still there? It's not tight or slower than the left one?"
"Darling, I'm not gonna break," he chuckled as he looked over at you.
"Well Bruce has his arm in the sling for a while, and I still don't know how well it heals in the movies, so I just wanna make sure."
"I'll be fine," he insisted as he took a sip of wine.
"Good, cuz if you aren't I'd hate you and myself, and then you some more so I don't have to hate myself."
"Even if I had some lasting effects, I'm alive. You'd be dead. Don't start bringing guilt into this."
"I'm not," you defended.
"Yes, because that's totally not what you were doing."
"I wasn't!"
"You were thinking you should have snapped," he accused, looking irritated by the thought.
"I was thinking I'm sad you had to."
"And if the opportunity to redo it came, would you still try to?"
"I..."
"Unbelievable!" he tossed his fork down, standing from the table and walking a few paces away.
"If I was gonna try once, I'd probably try again! That's all I was saying!"
"We're all alive! How does that not effect your decision at all!"
"Why are we even arguing about this???" you yelled back from where you remained in your seat.
"Because it's not just 'would you do it again', it's that you know you'll always try something like that!"
"Try to save people?! Oh, my bad!"
"Try to kill yourself when you don't have to!"
"I didn't know you'd live!" you stood up angrily.
"It's not just the snap, you always do this! Run into things for the greater good when there could be another way!"
"Next time I'll pull out a whiteboard, maybe make a nice powerpoint presentation, really analyze the pros and cons!"
"Ah yes, joke your way out of another situation," he said harshly, shaking his head as he turned away.
"What is your problem??? I didn't know you'd live, so I was gonna do it myself! And any other time I've done something that could get myself hurt, it was either I do it or someone else does! Why should I sit and wait for someone else to risk their lives? Since when is it a rule of yours that I have to be selfish?!"
"It's selfish to think you could get yourself killed without thinking of the pain you'd put everyone else through!"
"So I just let someone else get hurt instead??? You're still not answering the question!"
"Yes! You let someone who has less potential of dying take the risks!"
"Less potential doesn't mean they won't, and I won't push someone else forward like that! You know this, why are you like this now?"
"Because I lost you once!" he shouted louder than any of the rest of the argument.
You went silent as his angered look calmed slightly.
"I lost you once," he repeated, eyes locked with yours, "And I'm not letting that happen again."
He stormed off to the balcony, leaving you to rub your forehead in frustration. You couldn't be mad at such a sweet reason.
"Loki," you said, following him out, "You're never going to stop people from dying. I'm going to die one day. Not only that, I'm going to die a lot sooner than you. You're gonna lose people, ok? We all do. And it sucks. What, y-y-you think it was any easier for me having to think Thanos had snapped your neck? Or having watched Bucky, Yelena, and Wanda turn to dust? To know that Sam, T'Challa, Drax, Groot, Peter, Quill, Mantis, and Strange were gone too? I died, I know, and I'm sorry you had to go on. It's worse being the ones that survive. But that doesn't mean I didn't lose them all too before I died. That I didn't also have to fight to go on, thinking you were dead somewhere. Why do you think I tried snapping? You think you're the only one trying to hold onto people? I had just gotten you back, I wasn't gonna let you go again! But you don't see me telling you never to try saving people again! I could be furious right now that you risked your damn life by snapping! You seem to be throwing my past back, even though I survived, so should I do the same? You could have killed yourself, and that pisses me off as much as it terrifies me! I know I'm not a god, or goddess I guess. I'm not protected by a suit of armor, or the plot armor of being completely invincible (Captain Marvel)" you coughed her name. Despite still looking out at the view and not you, you saw the hint of a smile at that. "But neither is Clint, or Nat, or so many. And I'm not the best trained or the greatest warrior, and really who's fault is that, teacher?" you teased, "But you can't stop me from trying to save you. To save people. It's why I came here, and it's what I'll always do. Even if I absolutely suck at it, which, I mean, current events and a hospital full of injured soldiers might hint that I do."
"I know I can't stop you," he sighed, still staring out at the city, "And I know you do what you think you have to when the time comes. Can you just promise me you'll consider what you do in the future? So I don't have to worry about, I don't know, you running at an army when we have tanks on the way?" He was smirking as he said his example.
"Tanks! We need tanks! And I don't think I've gotten to fly or drive one piece of fancy tech since I've been here. Like what the hell's up with that?"
Loki chuckled, looking down at his hands on the railing.
"I'm sorry," he turned to you, keeping one hand where it was.
"Pinch me, I'm dreaming. Our arguments are usually ended by silence until one of us pretends it didn't happen and we talk like normal."
"Don't make me take it back."
"You can't! You said it, it's said."
"I am though. Sorry that is. You're trying to do what I did, and what I'd do again. We look after each other."
"Which makes it miserable for both of us when the other wants to be the one to go jump in the fire."
"Well, I mean...I am technically more in the right. Who'd have a better chance of surviving fire?"
"I don't know, Frost Giant, would you melt?" you sassed right back.
His look made you fear you'd gone too far, before you saw the playfulness in his eyes.
"I think uh, Thor's calling me, I should probably---"
You sprinted away, with Loki in pursuit.
"Doctor said no running!!!" you shouted as you used the table to separate the two of you.
"How often do I listen?" he grinned.
"Oh you're really well behaved, which is why I know you won't disobey her orders by--Oh my God!"
Loki had launched over the table, getting you before you could run far.
"I will hit your right side, don't think I won't!" you said from the grasp of his left arm.
Your body went cold...like freezing. As if you were standing in the snow with very little covering.
"Whaaaat just happened," you panted, trying to catch your breath that had been sucked from you.
"I don't know," Loki lied, "Are you cold though, Darling? You're shivering. Perhaps a fire? Melt away that cold, warm you right up."
"Ohhhh ok a-a--assh--hole," you stuttered, still trying to settle your breathing and chattering teeth, "I..." you took a deep breath, "I g-get it. I'm sorry."
"Could you say it a bit louder, I don't think I quite heard that?"
"I'm sorry."
"One more time."
"I'm sorry!"
Your body's temperature came back, and you took a breath of relief.
"Now, was that so hard?" he looked down at you.
Your heartbeat quickened as you realized you were held against him.
"Nope," you answered, though without pulling away.
"No arguing?" he said, looking surprised. In your daze at being in his arm, you'd just yielded without any fight. He nodded like he liked it. "I could get used to that," he said, his voice quieter now.
You wanted to kiss him. Something about the thought made you nervous, yes, but bold. Something about feeling this way made you want to just try. But you couldn't read his expression. And your thoughts from earlier hit you. You couldn't risk it. Couldn't do that to him. Especially when he'd made it clear he thought you should go home. Why make things weird before you left when leaving was already making things hard?
"Don't get used to it."
You pulled yourself free and walked away. He didn't try and stop you, which you were grateful for. You needed time to clear your head, calm down, and come back more composed. He needed you strong, not on the verge of caving in.
***
Two days later and the doctor cleared Loki from the hospital. You and Thor helped move his things back to his room, happy to see him looking like his usual self. Happy to say goodbye to that hospital room.
"So, brother, what would you like to do first with your new freedom?" Thor beamed as he dropped Loki's things on the bed.
"I'd like to go back."
"Permanently?" you asked before you could stop yourself.
"I don't know," Loki looked between the two of you, "Asgard is my home, but I think it'd be nice to be with the others without the fear of imminent death on the horizon. And you don't have much longer here, so..."
"What?" Thor furrowed his brow, looking to you for an answer.
"We're...well, we knew I'd have to leave eventually, right?" you tried saying like it wasn't a problem.
"Yes, but I--you..." he started to wave a finger from you to Loki before dropping it, "I don't want to see you go, that's all," he smiled sadly, "But your family would want to see you I'm sure."
"That's what we decided too," you motioned to Loki, and Thor gave his brother a curious look, "You guys are my friends...my family. But...that doesn't mean I belong here. My real family, like family family, is without me. I don't think I should leave them behind to go off with my friends, you know?"
Thor continued giving Loki the look, one you couldn't read. Loki must have been able to, because he was avoiding eye contact with Thor at all costs.
"Well..." Thor started, frowning at Loki a little longer before turning back to you, "We'll just have to make the most of your time here, won't we?"
"So earth it is?" you held your hands out, looking from one man to the other.
"Earth it is," Thor smiled.
The three of you made what preparations were needed, but really there wasn't much to do besides get to the bifrost.
"Heimdall!" you jogged up the steps to hug him, "Sorry, I never really said hi after the battle. I be hugging a lot of people lately, it's really getting out of hand."
"Quite alright," he laughed.
"How've you been?" you asked as you backed away down the steps.
"Not bad for dying. You?"
"Same," you laughed.
"What about you?" he asked Loki.
"Like you even had to worry," Loki scoffed.
"Your friends are eager to see all of you."
"You've spoken with them?" you asked.
"Didn't need to."
"I'm eager for that beach. I mean houses by the shore??? Heeeeeeelll yes!" you said as you took your place.
"Enjoy," Heimdall laughed, lifting the sword into position.
The familiar sensation pulled you forward, the swirl of colors vanishing to reveal a bright sun and warm breeze. You were standing on sand, the sound of waves playing behind you.
"Oh my gosh, this is beautiful," you gasped, seeing the tropical forest bordering one side. This was a private beach, it's own tucked away paradise. The trees stopped to make room for the little development of beach houses. They were adorable white, two-story homes with wrap-around porches, sitting areas to overlook the ocean, and steps leading right down to the sand.
"Vacation, baby!" you cheered, running up the beach, "Gah, I forgot how much I hate running in sand," you panted as you reached the steps of the first house. Thor and Loki weren't far behind, walking together.
"Hey guys, they're here!" you heard a voice call out.
You looked up to see Bucky standing on the porch one house over. He jogged down a different set of stairs that led to the concrete paths between houses rather than the sand.
"Hey!" you ran over, throwing your arms around him.
"How've you been, freak?"
"Fine, Cyborg, how bout you?"
"Someone thought it was funny to room me and Sam in the same house," Bucky sighed, "So you can imagine how that's going. Hey Thor," Bucky smiled at the god, "Loki," he nodded, the kind look still on his face even if the smile was more reserved than the one offered to Thor.
"Barnes," Loki nodded back.
"Hello Buck," Thor said, taking his arm in that warrior kind of handshake, "All healthy up there, right?" Thor tapped Bucky's forehead.
"Yeah," Bucky laughed, whacking his hand away, "I'm all me."
"Good," Loki said genuinely, pretending to look more stern than he was.
"You're looking alive," Bucky gestured to Loki's right side.
"Very observant."
"Hey guys!" Wanda hopped down the steps, wearing the most adorable sundress.
"How've you been?" you asked as you hugged her.
"Look around," she said like she'd won the jackpot, "Who wouldn't be good in a place like this?"
You had to try and hide the mouth drop you did when Wanda casually hugged Loki. If he was shocked at all, which you thought you saw a bit of, he did a fantastic job of hiding it. He smiled as he hugged her back, giving you a look over Wanda's shoulder as he caught your expression.
"I'm so glad you're ok," she said as she pulled back, "How're you feeling?"
"Fine," he chuckled, "Wren's been worrying enough for everyone."
"As she should," Wanda gave you an approving look before embracing Thor.
"I've texted the others, they'll be here soon," Cap said as he approached the group.
He hugged you, greeting Thor and Loki.
"I didn't know you'd learned to text?" you teased.
"He needed a bit of help, but I was here, so," Bucky shrugged like he was accepting praise.
"Yeah and who taught you?" you countered.
"Sam," Wanda answered before he could.
"I've texted before," he sighed like this was an argument he'd had many times already.
"You all have replacement phones already?"
"Tony can't live a day without technology," Steve said.
"We get it, Gramps, kids these days with their nose in their phones, yadayada," you giggled.
"You are on yours all the time," Loki defended Steve.
"Am not."
"If you leave to use the bathroom, you'll come all the way back specifically to grab your phone first," Loki pressed.
"Ok, who doesn't do that? What're you supposed to do in the bathroom without the phone? Stare at the wall?"
"How about get out so the next person waiting can get in?" Sam chimed, having come around the corner.
"The compound was huge! Don't complain cuz you were too lazy to walk to the other hundred possible bathrooms," you argued.
"Nice of you to stop by and ruin vacation," Sam smirked as he pulled you in for a hug. "How's it goin?" he nodded to Thor and Loki.
"Oh you know, can't complain," Thor grinned happily.
"Yes he can, a lot," you and Loki answered simultaneously.
"Shhhhh," Thor placed his palm over your whole face, "I'll be happy to have more company than these two."
"Look who it is! Oh my God you have no idea how much I've missed my duo," Yelena ran goofily through the sand, coming from somewhere down the beach. She pulled you and Loki both in for hug, an arm around each of your necks.
"It's nice to see you too, Yelena," Thor pouted, though he was unable to maintain the facade as he smiled and hugged her next.
"Come on, we know who the most fun Avenger is," she gave him his compliment.
Nat and Bruce had followed Yelena, evidently not running ahead like her.
"Where're you guys coming from?" you asked as you hugged each, though being careful with Bruce. His arm was still in a sling.
"We were just---" Bruce started, but Yelena cut him off.
"Having a super romantic walk on the beach at sunset, making me be the third-wheel."
"No one made you third-wheel it," Nat smirked.
"I wanted to walk on the beach too, and you had to bring your boyfriend, so---"
"I remember you saying you were going to play tennis with Clint," Bruce smiled, both he and Nat knowing whatever truth was behind this story.
"That was....befoooore I remembered that I wanted to walk on the beach."
"Before you heard Bruce and I were going."
"What?" she gave an exaggerated gasp, "Natasha, really, I think we're a little old to think one of us would want to stalk the other on a date because we like bothering the future brother-in-law because we're protective of our sister and we get a kick out of it?"
"Did you ever tell Clint you cancelled?" Bruce asked.
"Was I supposed to?"
"Yelena!" you laughed.
"Ok, don't look at me like that, people, he didn't think to ask if I'd cancelled until now, so he clearly didn't care enough to check," she held her hand out to Bruce, "And he's been his friend longer, so really what's the bigger issue here?"
"For the last time, don't eat the sand!" you heard Rocket's scolding voice, "Come on, get over here. Do you wanna see her or not?"
Groot had frolicked over to the sand, with Rocket calling from the walkway. The toddler looked over at the group Rocket was gesturing to, meeting your eyes. A smile broke on his face and he ran through the group to you.
"Hey buddy!" you crouched down for the hug.
"I am Groot."
"I missed you too."
"You can speak Groot now?" Loki asked.
"I can sometimes piece together what he's saying."
"I am Groot."
"Ok, I don't know that one?" you looked up to the gods for help.
"He asked why you were gone for so long," Thor answered.
"We've been through this," Rocket explained in a tone more patient than usual, "Bozo brain almost got himself killed."
"It's good to see you too, Rodent," Loki greeted.
"Come here, Rabbit," Thor smiled, pulling Rocket in for the hug.
"Nah nah, it's not necessary, I'm good," Rocket tried pulling away.
"I am Groot?" Groot walked to Loki.
"Yes," Loki smiled, "I'm fine."
"I am Groot."
Loki chuckled. "I missed you too."
Groot held his hands out for the hug, and Loki sighed, kneeling to oblige the little kid.
"Awwww," Sam mocked.
A flick of Loki's hand sent him falling off the path into the sand.
"Oh come on!" Sam yelled as everyone laughed, "Now it's in my shorts," he muttered, standing to brush himself off.
"Look Miek, he's alive!" Korg said as he, Drax, Miek, and Mantis came down the walkway, "Look guys, he's alive," he told the others, as if they couldn't hear it unless directly addressed to them.
"Your neck was disgusting," Drax said to Loki.
"So you and Wren love to say."
"Nah, I said your skin was crispy, not necessarily disgusting," you said as you hugged Korg and Miek.
"You'll never believe the things they have to do here," Korg told you, "And there's something called a snow cone that I highly recommend you try."
"I've got a lot of vacationing to catch up on," you agreed.
Everyone chatted with each other, waiting for the whole gang to arrive. You were catching up with Mantis when Quill and Gamora came in, followed shortly by Rhodey and Nebula.
"Oh my God, we haven't met!" you said excitedly, holding your hand out to Nebula.
Obviously now used to being around friendly people, she took it with only a mild look of "you're an idiot."
"I'm not sure if they told you about where I'm from?"
"They did."
"Cool, then you know why this is so awesome for me. I'm so glad you're ok, and I'm really sorry I didn't get here in time to stop you from getting kidnapped by your father and everything."
"If I hadn't been captured, I'd never have known when Maw went for the soul stone, so your help was not necessary."
"Oh true true....but I'm still sorry you had to go through that."
She lowered her eyes, and you searched for something to change the topic to. Thankfully, Rhodey did it for you.
"Should we bring this inside? Yelena will burn if her pale skin is out for too much longer."
"I can still kick your ass, burnt skin or not."
"Worry more about Loki. Looks like he hasn't sunbathed a day in his life," Sam huffed, taking the the lead between the houses.
"Yeah, we wouldn't want you melting," you whispered to him as you walked along side him. He stepped on your foot without breaking stride, smirking as you grunted.
Once through the houses, you could see that this really was a resort. A road came in, made a circle around an elaborate fountain, and then carried on down the line of houses. The main clubhouse was on the other side of the circle, and that's evidently where Sam was taking everyone. You entered into a large beautiful lobby, decorated and themed to match the location of this tropical paradise. The team gathered in a large sitting area. The room had a glass wall on one end, showing the grand patio and pool outside.
"Wow," you whispered, walking to the window to look at the stunning pool. On the other side of it was a bar, and small white lights were strung up everywhere.
"I'm sorry I did not see the text until now," Vision's voice spoke, and you turned to see him floating in through the wall.
He spoke with Loki and Thor for a bit before making his way to you.
"I tried running," you said as you hugged him.
"I'm sorry?" he looked confused.
"The son of a bitch used another portal cuz his fat ass couldn't catch me."
"Oh," Vision laughed, "You mean with the stone, yes. Fat ass," he giggled some more like he found it really amusing, "That's a good one."
"It's weird seeing you without the stone though," you said, looking at the now bare forehead.
"Well, I've been really giving people a scare by doing this," he said, before a shimmer passed over him and the human face of Paul Bettany smirked down at you.
"That is so cool," you said, touching his cheek tentatively, "I'm not even gonna ask how that works."
"You probably wouldn't understand anyway."
"Guys, Vis is in human form, he's doing it again," Sam complained.
"I think it looks good," Yelena shrugged.
"It's like having a whole new person here, it's weird," Sam stated.
"You're just jealous that yet another member of the team is more attractive than you," you said.
Bucky laughed, while Sam glared at him.
"I think you look good however you are," Wanda said as she put an arm behind Vision's back and he placed his over her shoulder.
"Thank you, darling," he smiled, giving her a kiss on the forehead.
"I'm gonna cry," you teased, though you weren't entirely joking. You couldn't believe you were witnessing this new ending. One where she didn't go on to live through unbearable pain and trauma.
"No tears on vacation," Tony called over, and you realized he was in the room, standing with Thor and Cap.
"Sure, just make me have to walk all the way over here," you said as you went to hug him.
"Attitude already? After what I brought for you?"
He stepped aside to let you look out the window that faced the road. A black car was there, with Happy struggling over all the bags he was pulling from the trunk. Next to the car, staring in awe of everything, were Peter and Ned.
"Yes!" was all you could say as you ran back through the lobby and out the front door.
"Hey!" you shouted as you came out the door.
"Oh my God, hi!" Peter smiled in surprise, "I--I didn't know you were back!"
"Guess Tony kept both of us a surprise, I didn't know you'd be here! And you too Ned??? How did you explain this to your family?"
"Vacation with the Parkers," he grinned, lifting his bag as he pointed to the back of the car.
You saw a pair of hands trying to take some things from Happy, who was insisting he had it under control. If he was showing off, that meant the hands could only belong to one person.
"Hey sweetie!" Aunt May greeted happily as she hoisted a backpack over her shoulder. She'd treated you like Ned and Peter since day one, even though you'd had very limited time with her. She was just like that, always the kindest.
"He brought all of you! How are you???"
"Oh you know, trying to get over the fact that we've missed a month, but we're good. Right?" she smiled to the boys.
"Oh yeah totally," Ned said honestly, "Five years would have been bad, but with only a month gone it was kinda cool."
Peter cringed at Ned's choice of words, but you just laughed.
"How long are you guys here?"
"Uh, three weeks. Three weeks, right?" Peter turned to Happy.
"Yeah," he forced a smile, "Three long weeks."
"You don't have to carry those, Happy's got it," you motioned to the two bags Ned and Peter had.
"No no, I-I can take it," Peter told Happy, giving you a smirk to show he knew what you were up to.
Ned, on the other hand, dropped his bag promptly with a "Cool."
"I don't think he has room," May said, looking over the pack mule that was Happy.
"Nah, I got this," he assured her.
"Come on in!" you stepped aside, holding your hand out to the door, "Everyone's inside."
"Everyone?" Ned whispered in awe.
"Yup!"
He gave Peter a smile before the two walked nervously forward, Aunt May right behind. You looked down at Ned's bag, smiling as you raised your head to Happy. He was glaring, unamused by your manipulation of the situation.
"I hate you."
"I know," you nodded, bending down to carry the bag for him.
He smirked when he saw you were going to take it, eyes meeting yours with a little more kindness.
"I'll tell May you did it," you whispered, and his eyes were right back to annoyance as he stumbled up to the entrance. You giggled as you followed him in.
"Wreeeen!" young voices reached your ears as Lila and Cooper Barton ran across the room to embrace you.
"I think they remember you," Clint laughed.
"I didn't know you guys were here too!" you said as you hugged them back.
They proceeded to talk over each other as they told you all about flying here and the things they'd done since arriving.
"Ok, kiddos, why don't we go get your suits on to swim?" Laura asked, giving you a knowing look as she ushered them out the door.
"Hey, punk," Clint smiled as you hugged him.
"I heard Yelena stiffed you today."
"We just got over this," Yelena groaned, "I did not stiff him."
"Yes you did," Clint argued.
"I was sparing you a loss, how many times do I have to say it?"
"You guys play the game all wrong anyway," Rocket said.
"You've played tennis before?" Clint raised an eyebrow.
"It's not called that, and it's played a 100% better."
"How do you play it, man?" Korg asked.
"With knives," Drax answered.
"Yes, exactly!" Rocket said.
"Is there a game with you that doesn't involve weapons?" Rhodey asked.
"Is there a game with you that does?" he countered, and Bruce made a face like that was a good point.
A sparkling portal opened, with Strange and Wong stepping through. Ned, who was closest to the action, dropped his water bottle as he launched back.
"It was one month," Stephen was saying.
"The two week mark was passed," Wong argued back.
"Nice of you to show up," Tony said, "Coulda portalled outside though? You made Ned spill his drink."
Strange looked at Ned like he was wondering what this child was doing here anyway.
"What two week mark was passed?" you asked.
"Apparently," Strange rolled his eyes, "He's now the Sorcerer Supreme."
"Oh, uh...congratulations," you smiled to Wong.
"Thank you."
"Uh oh, boys and girls, Professor Weird isn't in charge anymore," Tony smiled, loving Stephen's plight.
"It's only because I blipped for a month."
"Coulda been five years though," you said, "But it wasn't...and I remember someone holding out hope that everything could work out better, while someone else was all doom and gloom?"
"I didn't want you to be wrong," he grumbled.
"Ehhh, you were kinda hoping I was gonna be though."
"And have the world blip for five years?" he raised his brow at you, waiting for a logical response.
"I'm just messing with you, gosh. You were right, ok? I was being careless."
"Wren, you're never supposed to say the words 'you were right', his head doesn't need to get bigger," Tony complained.
"I found myself hoping you were wrong about some aspects," Strange gave Tony a look as everyone else began mingling with one another.
"But you told me to keep going, which saved him, so...thank you," you said to him alone.
He gave you a smile, "You were the one crazy enough to grab the gauntlet, kid."
"How long are you staying for?"
"Three weeks."
"That long?"
"Yeah, what's wrong with that?"
"Honestly, I didn't think you'd come at all."
"I'm not antisocial, kid."
"Stark begged him to do it for you," Wong interjected from behind Strange.
Stephen gave Wong a look over his shoulder, before slowly turning back.
"For me?"
"Yeah, he uh...he wanted you to have all of your characters here. Thor was updating them on how Loki's health was going, so he planned on having everyone come this week. The king with the cat obsession and Lang are coming tomorrow."
"Well thanks then...for coming. I'm glad you're here."
"We saved half the universe together, I think we deserve a vacation."
"As much as I love cloaky back there," you waved to his cape, which waved back, "Do you have to wear sorcerer garb to the beach or...?"
He shook his head with a smirk, changing his wardrobe with a twirl of his hand. He was now in casual summer clothes like everyone else.
You continued talking with those in the room, looking around to take it all in. Here they were. Well, most of them. Living and laughing together. All alive and celebrating their success. Loki was engaging with Peter and Steve, though you'd seen him talking with many others. Those who didn't know each other well were changing that, which essentially meant Strange had a lot of visitors. You noticed one person absent, and your face dropped in momentary fear.
"Hey, Nat, where's Zemo?"
"Oh he's uh...he's not much of a socializer. He's not in the group chat, so I don't think he knows you're here."
"Where can I find him?"
"You could try his house? Number 10."
"Thanks," you smiled, slipping out of the room.
You walked down the street, turning up the short driveway to house 10. Your knock was answered shortly, Zemo looking ready to have to put on a tolerant face. His eyes widened when he saw you, and he chuckled as he stepped out.
"Of course I find you by yourself, old man," you said as you hugged him.
"Group activities are a little...strange," he said as he stepped back to let you in.
"I get it." You looked around the adorable house as he led you to the living room.
"Are you thirsty at all? Or have the others taken care of you already?"
"Actually we've been so busy catching up. I'll take water if you don't mind?"
You walked with him to the kitchen, taking a seat at the table while he filled a glass for you.
"So...how's it been?"
"Living with the people I swore to destroy?" he gave you a knowing look, "You're practically bursting with the need to laugh at my situation."
"I would never," you said in an offended tone.
"Of course not," he played along, taking the seat opposite of you.
"Seriously though. How've you been? Both since the battle and at the compound?"
"I'm sure Loki filled you in."
"From his perspective, yeah. I wanna know how you're doing though."
He was silent for a moment as he stared into space.
"Like I'm being pulled in half."
You didn't speak, waiting for him to elaborate.
"All I could think about was what you tried to tell me. How you didn't have time for my bullshit."
"Hey, if you're gonna jump on the guilt train, we're already full. One small setback doesn't mean things would have gone differently. We won, and you're ok. We're all ok, so don't beat yourself up."
He smiled, nodding like he was trying to accept that it wasn't his fault but was finding it difficult.
"I keep thinking that the least I can do for you is give you what you want. All of your defense of the Avengers, all the stories I wouldn't allow to change my stance...I've now lived with them for a month, and I hate myself...because I still can't let go. I go through times where I know I can't blame them for what happened. They made a mistake, same as me. But then I look at them, and all I see is that day. Stark flying around. The footage of Captain America, the Hawkeye...all of them, standing in the ruins of the city. I wish I could grow to like them, as you'd want me to. As Loki has....but I--I'm sorry. I can't."
You let him sit quietly for a moment before speaking.
"Hey, you're not trying to kill them. And look what you accomplished with them? You don't have to love people in order to make things right. You lived through something horrific. To expect those memories to just disappear because you want them to is unrealistic. Who cares what I'd want. What I really want is for you to be ok. Living through torment by being around constant reminders of your loss isn't good for you. Don't do it because you think you have to or that I want it."
He smiled sadly, wiping an eye before a tear could get out. The thought of having to tough it out for you must have been killing him. A man torn in two. He still had a lot to overcome, and you'd just relieved him of one burden.
"What of the others?" he asked, "I doubt they'll let me walk away."
"You got a ride lined up?"
"Is that a serious question?" he smirked.
"Ok, genius, call them. I'll tell the others once you're gone."
"Wren, I can't---"
"It'll be fine, trust me."
He still looked uncomfortable with the plan, but he nodded. He pulled out his phone, tapping away.
"They'll be here in half an hour."
"Damn you really had that escape route planned."
"Always."
The two of you caught up for the next thirty minutes, enjoying what could be your last moments in person. Thankfully, no one stopped by. Either they were all still hanging out together, or Nat had kept them away for the two of you. When the time came, you and Zemo walked out to the beach, going down farther past unoccupied houses. A chopper landed up ahead.
"Zemo, I...I've decided to go back home, if I can."
He contemplated that for a moment, looking conflicted.
"Do the others know?"
"Loki and Thor do."
"And what do they think?"
"It was Loki that encouraged me to."
He looked surprised, but hid it quickly.
"Everyone has a place where they belong. Me, for example, I do not belong with the Avengers. If you think your home is that place for you...then I wish you all that life has to offer, Wren Arlington."
You started tearing up, trying to hold it in.
"I know I thought the last time we split that that was the last time I would see you....but now, I..."
"Now we know," he smiled comfortingly.
You couldn't stop the tears now, hugging him tightly.
"Thank you, Wren. For everything."
"Thank you. For doing the right thing. And for giving me another friend."
He pulled back, revealing the tear on his cheek.
"Come now, crying over freedom from your captors?" you teased as he had once done to you, causing him to chuckle.
"I'll miss you, Wren."
"I'll miss you too."
"I'll try not to blow the chance you've given me."
"I know you will."
"Do me a favor?"
"Yeah, anything."
"Promise me you'll have an extraordinary life?"
"I already have," you smiled, wiping the tears from your cheeks, "I don't plan to stop now."
"Here," he said, opening his bag, "I'd get you a replacement, but security around here might be a little tighter after our last ruse."
He handed you his folded coat.
"Zemo, I can't! It's iconic, it belongs with you!"
"I'll get another one," he shrugged, "I had to give you something to take back."
"I promise I won't let this one get burned in a blitz."
He laughed, closing his bag and throwing it over his shoulder.
"Bye, Zemo," you said, able to control your crying. You didn't want your last moments with him to be nothing but tears.
"Goodbye, Wren."
You gave a little wave as he started off towards the helicopter.
"One more thing," he stopped and called back, "Loki. He isn't bad. I see why you love him."
By the way he said it, you knew he meant more than a friendly love. You smiled, flipping him off but not denying it.
And with that he was off. The last you saw of him, he was sitting in the same position as when you had first met him. He gave you one last smile, before closing the door.
***
Surprisingly, the others weren't upset by the news. They seemed content, fine with you letting him go. The sun had officially set by the time you were back, so everyone joined the Barton kids in their nighttime swim. The pool lights made it a must do after all. Chicken fights broke out, turning aggressive and competitive, as all things did. When that was finished, Tony had a fire started, everyone sitting in a large circle around the pit. Smores were provided, with Korg nearly sending a burning marshmallow into Rocket's fur.
As you looked around at the smiling faces, you thought about how hard it was to leave them. But at least this is what you were leaving behind. You smiled to yourself, pushing the future away. For now, you'd enjoy this time.
More notes: Ok, there was a LONG list of people to have to keep track of, so if I missed anyone in this chapter that should be there too, I'm sorry and let me know! Valkyrie will come in later.