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𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘃𝗼𝗶𝗰𝗲
𝗠𝗿 𝗬𝘂𝗮𝗻 (𝗬𝘂𝗿𝗮)
It's overwhelming. All this sudden pain and heat is too much for me. It's too much for my body to take in. I feel like I'm about to collapse any minute now but I reassure myself that I just need some space to think and that's when I walked out of the house hearing my uncle's voice telling me to stop but I didn't. I make sure to carry his gun alongside his car keys and shut the door after my exit.
Before he could open the door and stop me I was already driving his car and made my way out of the neighborhood. I didn't think to even look twice and I can't. All this time I thought my parents were gone but no, they are alive. And not only that, they are royalties. They are high class royalties which means I'm also one of them.
"The Jila family..?" I hear my weak voice break and I can't seem to fix it. All this time I was actually a princess..? All this time Julia and Iria were my sisters..? All this time I was more closer to home than I thought. Is that why the Jila family sounded so familiar to me when I first started to work in the palace..? Because I was connected to them one way or another..? Fuck me.
The rain continued to heavily pour on the windshield and the darkness didn't really help either. I don't know where I was going. All I was doing was driving to clear my thoughts. Driving just to hope what happened a few minutes ago was just a lie but I know it's not. I know that it's the truth and I can't seem to deal with it at the moment.
It's hard. It's hard for me to accept the fact that my real parents just abandoned me and threw me in an orphanage. It's fucking hard and a few seconds later I find myself sobbing. And nothing more was heard for a good few minutes, the rough rain and my heavy sobs. The sobs that were decreasing my vision on the road and the bright headlights from up front suddently filled my glance and I had to brake harshly to stop from crashing onto another vehicle.
"What the fuck..?" I whisper before taking my seatbelt, grabbing the gun from the passenger seat before opening the door. The fresh rain welcomed me with open arms soaking my black dress in a matter of seconds. I watch a person open their driver door and I load my gun before lifting it up and aiming it straight for whoever comes out. Whoever it is better have a great explanation to why they were driving straight to the opposite lane and I'm expecting an apology too.
As soon as the person stepped out of the vehicle my pulse jumps to the fucking roof. I feel my chest rise on it's own and I step back. I take multiple steps not wanting this to be true. My eyes rush to open even more than necessary as my grip on the gun becomes weak, fragile and worn out. What is happening.? What is he doing here..? No, he can't be here. He can't be here when I'm a minute away from dropping on the fucking ground due to some serious panic. He can't be here when I'm so close to loosing my head.
"What are you doing here..?" the rain was pouring like fireworks but he kept walking towards me. He didn't stop, not once. Jimin didn't stop until my grip on the gun became strong once again and I aim it straight for his head. I can't have a conversation with him right now. Not after what I just discovered about myself. At least not now.
His voice spreads through my ears and I can truly say that I miss it. I miss hearing his voice. But his voice heavy, rough almost and it sounded like he just ran a marathon to finally stop next to me, right here.
"Yura, I have so many questions. So fucking many but I'll start with one.." he didn't look like he slept one minute. He wore a black suit with no tie and a few buttons from his white blouse where undone. I could see his necklace. The same necklace that I used to play around with when we would sleep together. The same necklace that I would fiddle with which brings back so many memeories.
Jimin himself just standing there brings back memories and I don't know what to do with them. I don't know how to think. His straight hair quickly turns completely wet and his eyes never seem to look away from my own. Staring, exploring and observing every inch of me and I let him.
"Why did you not come to me first..? Was I not that important to you..? Did I not need to know where you were going...?" his tone broke my heart. It was quiet but I could hear him just fine. It was shallow and I know he's hurt. I know that and that piece of information alone makes me want to cry even more. I place my other hand on the weapon so now I have both my hands on my uncle's gun.
"That's more than one question...." I comment. He drops his head and gathers his wet hair before pushing it back. He tries to step forward wanting to be close to me but stopped before fully doing so. I know this is hard for him but it's even harder for me not to drop this gun and rush straight for his arms. Wanting to hug him so badly. Wanting to be with him.
"Okay, why didn't you come to me..? Can you answer that question..?" I press my lips together and thought of the first thing that came to mind.
"I didn't have enough time. The king wanted me out as soon as he hired a new bodyguard for you..." I hear him scoff and this time his does take that step forward. His expressions were nothing like what I imagined them to be. His eyebrows were pushed together and his eyes were filled with worry and certainty.
"Bullshit, you didn't come to me because you didn't have the fucking guts to tell me face to face. After the king released you from his territory you could have came back to me and told me.."
"That's not true and you fucking know that-" he cuts me off with his heavy tone and his eyes beaming straight for my own. At first he may have been calm but now he's definitely fucking mad.
"Then what's the truth! Tell me what's the truth because I really want to fucking hear it coming from your mouth right now. Tell me.." my tongue was tied and I couldn't sum up the correct words to use. The headlights of his car lights up his presence in the dark and he stops a few steps away from me. I could reach out to touch his face if I wanted to. I could reach out to hug him if I wanted to.
He doesn't say anything either and we stood there in silence for a minute straight, staring at one another in the pouring rain. And at that moment I had one question for him. One question that my tongue managed to roll out with no hesitation. With no thoughts whatsoever.
"How did you find me here..?" I ask and he speaks almost straight away.
"My guards witnessed you walking to a house near a river and I rushed over her as soon as he informed me.." he goes for another step forward but my gun stops him from going any further as the barrel touches his head. He doesn't move away from it, no. He stands there for a couple of more seconds before I heard his voice again.
"I don't have the will to stay away from you for even a minute and you can happily run off without a second thought..? Were you really going to live life like that..? Were you really going to stay away from me..?" I couldn't control the words that escaped my mouth and his expressions were the outcome of my actions.
"Why..? Why can't you stay away from me..?" I don't know what I was thinking or even doing at this point but I needed an answer from him. I look up to find him with the same still expressions. He looked like he was about to fucking explode into little pieces. His lips were straight and I'm not sure if he's even going to answer my question until he opened his mouth.
"Why..? Well here is it plain and simple, it's because I hate you. I've hated you ever since the day you walked into my room and wouldn't walk away until I ate my food. Because every single fucking night I lie awake on my bed thinking about you and how much I just can't fucking stand you. You devour every inch of my thoughts. So much of it I need to remind myself how to fucking breath whenever you walk pass, whenever you look up at me and smile or whenever someone mentions your name and I hate myself for it. I hate how much I hate you and how much control you have over my brain and if I'm really being honest with myself I don't hate you at all, not one bit.." he stops and takes a breath and I feel a huge, wide knot form in my throat. Oh god.
"Now you get why..? Or do I need to make myself even more clearer for you..?" I stay quiet once again and he looks to the side revealing his gorgeous side profile to me. He gulped before taking a few steps away from me as he's trying to stay away from me. The gun no longer on his forehead as he nods at me.
"You can shoot me after the things I'm about to say to you..." I take a sharp breather in and before I could even brace myself he talks and my heart tightened. With every power I have in me I try not to drop to the wet ground.
"Kissing you may have been the best fucking decision in my whole life. I still remember the feelings I felt when I first started to talk to you. Not as Mr Yuan but you and not as my bodyguard but the person inside. The soul inside of you right now. For the first time in my whole life I can call a person my safe place. My home. A person I can laugh with and be real with. You are that one part of me that I will always need. There's been a place for you in my heart ever since the day we've met...."
"It may be hard to believe but I want to be the closest person in your life. I want to be the person you think about when you wake up and the person you dream about when you go to sleep. I want to be the person that you smile at so brightly and so beautifully. I want to be the person that shares your deepest, darkest worries and feelings..." my hands are shaking and I find it almost impossible to hold the weapon without it shaking it with me.
Without even feeling it, the gun drops to the ground and I feel numb. I couldn't move. I couldn't talk. I couldn't even look away from him. My heart jumps as soon as he speaks again. He was yelling in the middle of nowhere and his tone was angry, sharp and a hard one to miss which was telling me that he was mad at me but his words are not. His words are the complete opposite. His words warmed my entire heart.
"Yura, I want to be the person you madly and hopelessly fall in love with, forever. Please tell me it's okay to have these feelings for you..? Tell me it's okay how much I want you in my life, Tell me it's okay that I utterly and truly love you with all my fucking heart..." I feel the tears around my eyes again. His head drops and I don't see those eyes of his anymore but soon after he lifts it right back up and his words kept going.
"I didn't want to fall in love, not one bit but at some point you smiled at me and fuck me I blew it. I fucking blew it just like that. I look at you and I just love you and it's fucking killing me but what's worse is that it also terrifies me. It terrifies me what I would do for you and I know when it comes to you there's nothing that can stop me. You told me every terrible thing that happened in your life and I love you even more. I fell for your soul before I could even touch your skin or lips and when you allowed me to finally touch you I never felt happier. I choose you and I'll always choose you over and over again. Without pause. Without a fucking doubt, in a heartbeat. I'll keep choosing you over my happiness every single time.."
"Yura, you had me at the point where I would've left the entire world behind for you. What would I have done if I lost you forever..? If I never found you..?" my mouth drops open but I can't seem to let the words flow. I try again but nothing comes out. My throat is narrow and it's not allowing me to speak. I'm shaking and I won't be surprised if I just collapsed right here.
"Yura! Answer me, what the fuck would I have done if I couldn't find you, if I completely lost you..?"
"Lost me..? I didn't think I even had you to myself..." his tone becomes more stronger and his words are still bouching through my ears afterwards after he spoke.
"Are you serious..? You fucking own me. Every single inch of me is yours. Everything and anything of mine is now yours. Yours and no one else's. Your enemies are my enemies and your friends are also my friends. You are mine and I can truly say that with confidence and pure honesty..." I wasn't there to listen to his next words because I feel my knees hit the hard, wet floor and soon after my head also followed along. I was panting hard and my chest was racing for some sort of air but somehow it didn't make it inside my lungs.
But I didn't pay much attention to that because I could hear him call for me. I could still hear him. I still hear his beautifully voice but he was yelling, letting out a loud sound like an injured animal. A scream. He rushed over to me with his hands on my face to wake me up. I smile at his touch. His touch that I haven't felt in what seemed like weeks. I could feel him lift me up and carry me to his car and as he shuts the passenger seat door my brain also shuts soon after and just like that I passed out.
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𝗜 𝗙𝗘𝗘𝗟 𝗔 𝗛𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗟𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗢𝗡 𝗠𝗬 𝗡𝗔𝗣𝗘 𝗟𝗜𝗙𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗠𝗬 𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗗 𝗨𝗣 𝗚𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗟𝗬 𝗙𝗥𝗢𝗠 𝗜𝗧'𝗦 𝗣𝗢𝗦𝗜𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡. "Open your mouth for me..." with my eyes not willing to open for me and my whole body as numb as ever, I part my lips and open my mouth. I know it's him. By touch, by smell I know it's him. I would know him blind. I would know him in death. And whatever he poured inside my mouth I drink and swallow it with no hesitation.
Soon after I feel my hand lift this time, and right after I feel a peck being placed on my skin. His lips softly pressed on my hand as he carefully drops it back on the bed and right after that I fall asleep.
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𝗝𝗶𝗺𝗶𝗻
𝗜 𝗪𝗢𝗨𝗟𝗗 𝗥𝗔𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗥 𝗛𝗔𝗩𝗘 𝗦𝗢𝗠𝗘𝗢𝗡𝗘 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗢𝗧 𝗠𝗘 𝗦𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧 𝗜𝗡 𝗠𝗬 𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗗 𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗡 𝗛𝗔𝗩𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗧𝗢 𝗦𝗘𝗘 𝗬𝗨𝗥𝗔 𝗦𝗢 𝗦𝗜𝗖𝗞 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗣𝗔𝗟𝗘. Her skin was burning up and I had to call the royal doctor to take a look at her. Seokjin was out of town and I had no other choice. Everyone now knows her real identity but she doesn't know that yet.
It's been three days. Three full days since I found her and picked her up when she fainted. Three days since she's been laying on her bed. Three fucking days since I confessed everything to her but that doesn't mean I'm not pissed because I am. I'm still pissed that's why I keep myself away from her. Or at least I try to.
I take a deep breather in as I hear a few knocks on my office door. I drop my pen and lay back on my chair. My hands lands on the cup of whiskey on my desk and I take a few sips.
"Come in.." the door opens and revealed the royal doctor that has been treating Yura for the past couple of days. He bowed down before walking further towards me.
"What's this about..?" I ask and he placed a light piece of paper on my desk.
"Your....." he pauses which doesn't make any sense to me then his next words comes out and I understood straight away.
"Your bodyguard has gained her conscious and doesn't need to be treated any longer. The reason why she fainted was due to a small panic attack and a heavy cold.." I sigh before grabbing the paper from the desk and take a good look at him.
"She's not my bodyguard anymore..." I glare down at the bill he gave me. I dig inside my pocket to find my wallet while still holding eye contact with the doctor.
"She's your future queen and I would like for you to put some damn respect on her fucking name or else I'll be taking your life away..." his head drops and he bows once again.
"Of course, your majesty. My mistake..." I take out several notes from my wallet and place it on the desk before I watch him take it alongside the bill as he walked straight out of my office. My eyes drifts to the time on my laptop telling me it's way too late to continue my work so I stand up but dropped right back on my seat feeling my phone vibrate on my desk. I grab it and hope to god I can just reject the call but I couldn't. Roman was calling. I press the green button and place my phone on my ear.
"What is it..?" I ask.
"Your majesty, Yura is on her way to your office right now...." what the fuck I'm I hearing right now..?
"What..? Roman I put you in charge of Yura so she doesn't leave the room in her condition. She should be asleep right now, it's late and she needs to recover..."
"I know but she told me she won't sleep until she talks to you and she won't budge. And due to her new status in the kingdom as a princess I can't say no to her..." I know all about that. I know all too much about that due to her uncle that visited yesterday. He sat me down and explained everything. Everything about Yura's real parents.
"Fine, let the princess in..." I hung up the call and drop my phone on the desk. My heart tugs and I feel it leap against it's walls. I had to sit myself down to get it under control. I'm going to see her again. Not unconscious but fully conscious and I don't know how to act straight. I don't know what she'll say to me but I know one thing. I fucking missed her so much. The feeling of being in her presence only excites me.
With no knocking or anything she opened the door and her presence enlightens my whole office. Why did I think that she was going to knock..? Walking in without knocking sounds just about right when it comes to Yura. She closed the door straight after and stood in the middle of my office. Her powerful glance drops down to mine. I changed her into a light blue dress, which she was currently wearing. It falls right before her knees, dangerously showing her toned thighs for my eyes to consume. I mentally shake my head and meet her gaze.
"Prince.." she spoke and I respond back, receiving a shocked expression from her. A shocked expression that only thrilled me even further. That expression of hers only resulted in me wanting to pull her right onto my lap.
"Princess..."
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