By late afternoon, all that could be seen was the great expanse of the ocean circled by the horizon with an occasional iceberg in the distance.
"One nice thing about living on the ship was the galley," said Iroh as his stomach growled.
"You have a menu of seafood before you," said Chiara softly still lying on the deck. "How about fish?"
"Anything would be good right now, even the sail," he said with a grim smile.
Zuko was awake just lying on his back still worn, tired, and dejected. Chiara rolled over and leaned over her edge of the raft. She scanned beneath the surface of the water until she spotted a school of fish. She unsheathed her sword, and picking out a fish of interest, she stealthily froze part of the water around it, and at the same time she used her sword to impale it giving the impression that she caught it with just her sword.
"Very good, Chiara," said Iroh when he saw the fish at the end of her sword. "And I was worried about losing our cook to Zhao."
She pulled out her knife and began preparing their future meal.
"We need to burn these," she said of the innards. "I don't want to throw them in the water."
Iroh burned the discarded fish parts before he began cooking the fish. Zuko had no desire to eat, but the smell of the frying fish made his stomach ache with hunger, and he was unable to resist sitting up and joining them. Chiara took only a small piece leaving as much as she could for the men.
"You should eat more than that, Chiara," said Zuko softly, noting her small portion.
"I've had enough."
"Uncle, can't you make her eat more?"
"As growing men, you need to eat," she said.
"He doesn't need to grow anymore," said Zuko pointing to his uncle's rotund figure.
Iroh only chuckled while eating his lunch.
"Before we left the Fire Nation, Ezih told me to take care of both of you," she said. Her voice was soft and sad. "What good am I if I can't feed my guys?"
Zuko's mouth opened as it occurred to him that she had seen that as her own personal mission, and taking care of him and his uncle was something she had taken very seriously ever since they left the Fire Nation years earlier.
"You're alive," he answered her.
"I promise I won't starve."
"We can always eat the sea vultures when they come down to feed on us," said Iroh trying to lighten the mood.
"You're not helping, Uncle," Zuko scowled at him.
"If we have the energy to catch them," deadpanned Chiara.
"That's not funny," he said, now glaring at her.
"I wasn't trying to be," she said softly.
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When darkness settled on them, Chiara started propelling the raft while Zuko slept. She watched the moon as it began its ascent above the horizon, and she could not stop the tears that came to her eyes as she thought about Yue. By the time the moon had traveled across half of the sky, she felt cold and tired, but she continued bending the water around them anxious to get them to land. Iroh began worrying about her hours later when he woke to find that she was still propelling them. He sat up and moved close to her taking her hands in his.
"You're freezing, Chiara." He started warming them in his own.
His warmth relieved the stiffness in her fingers brought on by the low temperatures.
"You should get some rest," he said as he put his arms around her to warm her up.
She leaned against him enjoying the warmth he provided. He caressed her head just as he had done when she was a child in need of comfort.
"Let the gentle current rock you to sleep," he said.
She was worn out and tired, so she nodded and then lay down on the deck where she fell asleep until the sun started its course through the sky.
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Her sleep was dreamless that night, and when her mind began waking she lay with her eyes closed while allowing her other senses to take in her surroundings. There was no droning engine to let her know she was safely on board Zuko's ship, or even on Zhao's. The only sounds to be heard were water gently splashing against metal mixed with Iroh's soft snores. She did not feel the smooth rocking of the cruiser as it sped through the sea, but only the choppier movements of their homemade raft as it drifted across the ocean. A chill breeze blew over her face and she forced her eyes open. The sun was just making its appearance over the horizon while the ocean reflected its golden rays. She sat up to see Zuko sitting quietly on the other end of the raft leaning against their makeshift mast and staring out at the sea.
Zuko had been watching her sleep, but when she began to stir awake, he turned his eyes to the ocean. He had been thinking about everything, and, as usual, Chiara constantly entered his thoughts. He had not forgotten that she referred to him as her prince, and especially her heart, after the attempted assassination. He was impressed that she disguised herself as Water Tribe and attacked Zhao, and that she made him believe that she had been the Blue Spirit. But he was also concerned and worried by the conversation between her and the admiral. The mere thought that Chiara begged to be Zhao's wife disturbed him, and he could never imagine her doing so. He wanted to believe Zhao was lying, but Chiara never argued with his claim, but only confirmed its truth.
"Are you okay?" she asked. She realized it was stupid question to ask considering their circumstances, but it was too late to take it back.
He was not okay. He moved his eyes to focus on hers. There were dark rings around them, and her face was pale. He had never seen her look so worn out. "As okay as I can be stranded on a raft in the middle of the sea," he answered darkly.
"Are you hungry?"
He shrugged. "I'll wait 'til Uncle's ready to eat...which'll be as soon as he opens his eyes."
She knelt over the edge and started looking for schools. He watched her. He was not used to seeing her in Water Tribe clothes and he was having trouble getting used to it, especially as she was covered in blood.
"Where'd you get the clothes?" he asked.
"I found them."
"Why?"
"I was on a mission."
His brow furrowed as he wondered what mission she could have been on. "A mission?"
"I knew Zhao was planning to destroy the moon spirit," she said. "I went to stop him, but I failed," she added sadly, her eyes losing focus on the water. "I wasn't able to get to him in time before he destroyed it."
"Did Uncle send you on that mission?" he asked both shocked and upset that his uncle would send her alone into enemy territory to deal with Zhao.
"No. I just couldn't take anymore of his plans to destroy the Water Tribe."
"So you just left the ship and broke into that ice fortress?" he asked incredulously.
She turned to look at him. "Didn't you?"
He raised his eyebrows at her retort. "Yes, but...but I wouldn't have made it in without my firebending."
She shrugged. "You have your resources; I have mine, Blue Spirit," she added in a whisper, but she could not help blushing as she spoke the name of his alter ego. She wondered if she would ever be able to speak it without feeling her cheeks flush as the memories of her rescue brought a flutter to her chest. She found it to be a sweet respite from her other thoughts.
His lip curled at her response, and she found his smirk to be a ray of sunshine piercing through the darkness of the past week.
"So you're the Blue Spirit," he said softly, remembering her words to Zhao. "I never would've guessed."
"There's still a rumor floating around that it's the Avatar," she said as she released the strap of the sheath holding the dao swords. "And seeing how I was blindfolded, it's a very real...and...uh...concerning possibility," she added remembering their kiss.
He quietly laughed and shook his head. "I don't like that rumor," he said, trying not to imagine her and the Avatar kissing.
She slid the sheath towards him.
"Did you...did you really mean what you said to Zhao?" he asked her. "About justice...for me?"
"I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it."
It touched him deeply to know that she stood up to Zhao for him. "You were really good when you fought him."
"Thanks to you."
"You would've defeated him without me," he said.
"I meant thanks to training with you."
She turned back to the water and continued looking for fish while he continued watching her.
"Whose blood?" he asked her.
Tears fell from her eyes, and she was thankful he could not see her face as she tried to stealthily wipe them away. Zuko, however, noticed her movement and suspected what she had done, and he wondered what violence she had encountered to be covered in so much blood.
"A Water Tribe warrior," she said softly.
His eyes were wide and he straightened his back, his whole body going stiff. "Did...did you...?" he started, but before he could finish the question, it occurred to him that he was not sure he wanted to hear her answer.
"I tried to help him." Her voice broke slightly as she spoke, and more tears fell down her cheeks.
Zuko's body relaxed, but he was surprised to find himself so relieved to learn that she had not killed the warrior. Knowing her as he did having lived with her compassionate nature for so long, he realized he should have suspected the blood was the result of her trying to help someone.
They grew silent as they were lost in their own thoughts. Zuko had been anxious to bring up her and Zhao's conversation, but he was also hesitant. He was not sure if he wanted to hear it. Her words on the dock of he, himself, being her prince and her heart, and her words of seeking justice on his behalf made him believe that she loved him as he had always loved her. But to hear that she offered herself to another man, especially to Zhao, made his heart ache.
Before he could work up his courage to question her, Iroh woke up, and as Zuko predicted, he was hungry.
"Oh, what fish will be on the menu for breakfast?" he asked running a quick hand over his disheveled gray hair.
"The first one I catch," said Chiara still scanning the water.
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After the first week, fish close to the surface became more scarce and they were surviving on one a day. The weather was still cool, though not freezing; however, nights were colder with the sun down. It was at night when Chiara would wait until Zuko was asleep that she would waterbend waves to propel the raft south. As time progressed, she went from dreamless sleep to having nightmares as the dead haunted her dreams. The days were long and dull since there was nothing to do except look for fish which got tedious after a while. Zuko and Chiara both desired to exercise, but with the scarcity of food, they did not want to expend their energy.
Every morning, she would start looking for fish as soon as she could see.
"Have you seen anything good today, Chiara?" asked Iroh when he woke up one morning.
"No. I've been looking all morning, but I have yet to see a single fish bigger than a minnow."
She continued scanning the water as Iroh and Zuko joined her in the search, but there were no large schools to be seen.
The day went by and as the sun drew closer to setting it became impossible to see anything beneath the surface, so they went without food.
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As soon as the sun was bright enough the next day, Chiara was up hunting for fish again, and Iroh and Zuko both joined her when they woke up. Hours had gone by, but they found nothing to eat.
"Army rations would be good right now," said Iroh as he lay back on the deck.
Chiara glanced up at the sky. "I'm thinking sea vultures would be a nice change in diet."
"We might get our chance soon," he said.
She stood up and took off her knife and sword.
"What are you doing?" asked Zuko as she dropped her coat.
"I'm going in." She was now strapping her knife to her waist
"What?!" He stood up. "You can't catch a fish like that."
"I won't know if I don't try."
"But...but it's too cold. You'll freeze," he argued.
"I'll be fine." She started removing her boots.
He looked pleadingly at Iroh. "Uncle, don't let her do this."
Iroh did not even move to look at him. "I would argue, Zuko, but it is getting late, and we do need food."
"You can go without a few meals. She could die in there."
"If something happens to me, I'll float to the surface and you'll have fresh meat," she said.
He scowled at her. "You don't have enough meat on you for an appetizer," he growled.
She smirked at his reply.
"Chiara is a good swimmer as she has demonstrated before," said Iroh waving his hand dismissively in the air. "She'll be fine."
When she stepped to the edge, Zuko grabbed her arm. "Chiara, please don't do this," he begged. "I-I don't want to lose you."
She was touched and tempted to obey him. She placed her hand on his. "I promise you won't. I'm just going swimming."
She took a deep breath, placed her knife blade between her teeth, and jumped in the water. Zuko kept his eyes on where she went until he could no longer see her. He held his own breath as he waited and worried.
"Uncle, why did you let her do this?" he demanded, not taking his eyes off the water.
"We need to eat, Prince Zuko."
"Not if it's going to kill her."
Zuko began pacing around the raft scanning the water hoping to catch a glimpse of her.
"Where is she?" he said feeling more nervous when he saw no sign of her.
"She is probably still waiting for something good to swim by."
"How can you not be worried?" he asked him.
Iroh sat up while Zuko continued pacing and worrying.
"She's been under too long," said the prince. "Something's wrong."
He stood at the edge of the raft getting ready to jump in to look for her, but hearing a splash, he turned and was relieved to see Chiara holding on to the other side.
She hauled a fish out of the water. "Take this," she said as she could not lift it up on the raft.
"Uncle, grab it," said Zuko as he started pulling it out of the water.
Once Iroh took hold of the fish, Zuko reached down and pulled Chiara onto the raft. She was shivering since she would not waterbend herself dry in front of him.
"You're freezing," he said touching her cold skin.
"I'll-I'll be okay."
She knelt down next to the fish and pulled out her knife.
"What are you doing?" asked Zuko.
"I-I have to-to g-gut i-it," she said, her teeth chattering.
"No. You're shaking too much." He took the knife from her and held it out to Iroh. "Uncle, you deal with that."
"I've never gutted a fish before," said Iroh frowning at the knife.
Zuko glared at him and slammed the knife on the deck. "Then dinner's going to have to wait." He placed her coat over her shoulders. "Look at her. She risked her life for your stomach."
She was pulling her boots back on, her hands still shaking.
Zuko sat down next to her. "Come here." He pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her inside her coat and warmed her with his body producing heat to raise her temperature. "You're not doing that again."
"You're-you're so-so warm," she said still shivering. "Y-you f-firebenders are r-really useful."
He chuckled at her comment. She rested her head against his shoulder and held onto him, and he tenderly placed his hand on her head. He was reminded of the time she saved Tedo during the storm. Her body had been cold, but not this cold, and he was worried about her.
Iroh appreciated his nephew's concern and care for Chiara. It was not the first time he wondered if it would be wiser to let Zuko know that she was a waterbender. The usefulness of her bending might outweigh any possible consequences. Though he could not imagine Zuko hurting her, he did know his nephew's temper, so he once again decided to withhold revealing it to him.
While Zuko continued holding her, his thoughts drifted to the night on the dock after the assassination attempt. He remembered being in the water after the explosion. His ears were ringing, but he could still hear Chiara's voice calling his name. Every part of his body had ached which was amplified by the water which felt as though it was pulling on him. He had not remembered the tides being so strong that day, and he wondered if the explosion itself caused the strong waves which pulled his body towards the shore. He could barely remember climbing up on the dock, but he could still hear Chiara crying over him, the sorrow and grief in her voice had made his heart ache as he had made his way towards her. 'My prince, my heart' still echoed in his head.
He was relieved when she stopped shivering, but he continued holding her.
"I can feel my fingers again," she said as she went to sit up.
"Are you sure?" he asked. He did not want to let her go. "You're still soaked."
"The fire will help dry out my clothes."
He reluctantly released her, and she took her knife and proceeded to gut the fish.
"Did you learn that from Ozen?" Zuko asked as he watched her.
"No. Tai taught me in the General's kitchen back home."
"What would we do without you, Chiara?" asked Iroh.
"You'd be eating sushi."
He laughed. "That's if we could catch it."
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They continued drifting for two weeks. In the evening when Zuko was asleep Chiara would remain awake for hours waterbending in order to boost the raft's speed. She would usually continue until Iroh made her stop as he knew she was exhausted. During the day, Zuko would not let her go under water anymore to catch fish despite her insistence, so they lived on the few fish she was able to catch from the boat.
Zuko never thought he would miss being back on his own ship, but he would have given anything to be standing on the deck with his crew rather than drifting aimlessly, lost in the middle of nowhere wondering if this was where his life would end. His eyes moved from the endless ocean to Chiara and Iroh. He did not want to think about them dying, but he knew there was a possibility that he would have to watch them slowly starve to death. He hated the thought. It seemed that his life just kept shrinking—from living as the Crown Prince of the Fire Nation to living as a banished prince on a ship at sea to dying on a raft with the only two people who stayed by his side through all of it. It was his fault they were here with him, and now it was his fault they were going to die in the same shameful manner he was.
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Near the end of the second week, their fresh water had run out despite their rationing it. Chiara took a metal bowl she had collected from the shore and filled it with sea water.
"What are you doing?" asked Zuko hoarsely as he watched her prop the bowl underneath a piece of metal.
"We need fresh water," she answered. Her voice was a bit hoarse as well due to thirst. "Can you boil the water, please?"
He held a flame underneath the bowl, and as the steam collected on the metal plate, Chiara tipped it into one of their empty water skins. It seemed to take forever to collect such a small amount of water, but they continued working together until they had enough to share. Zuko appreciated her forethought in gathering materials before they left land.
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By the end of the second week, the weather was much warmer as they had traveled farther south. Zuko still refused to allow Chiara to go back in the water, so she lay on the edge of the raft looking for fish while he leaned against the mast staring listlessly at the horizon. Iroh was lying on the deck still asleep. Suddenly, Zuko thought he saw something. He rubbed his eyes and looked again.
"Land," he said, his voice barely working.
Chiara slowly pushed herself up into a sitting position and focused her eyes on where he was pointing. Instead of seeing the same smooth perfect line of the horizon where sky met ocean that had been their only view for two weeks, there was a rough, uneven mass rising above sea level. They both stood up and started adjusting the sail.
"Uncle, there's land ahead," said Zuko.
Iroh slowly sat up, the lack of food taking its toll on his energy. He was relieved when he spotted the misty land rising out of the ocean. The sea breeze filled their sail, and they were thankful it was blowing strong. Chiara desperately wanted to help by waterbending them there as fast as she could, but she held back.
"I wish I was an airbender right now," she said.
Zuko and Iroh laughed.
As they sailed closer to the land Zuko looked at Chiara. "I'll race you."
She smiled and then dove into the water; Zuko followed her leaving Iroh on his own to sail the raft towards the beach. When they arrived close to the shore where it was shallow, Chiara stood up and started running. Zuko also stood up and ran after her playfully tackling her and taking her down in the water. He quickly jumped up to run, but she grabbed his ankle and pulled on it until he fell down in the wet sand. As soon as she stood up again, he reached out for her, but she jumped over him and started sprinting towards the land before he could grab her. She already made it to the dry shore when he caught up and tackled her again.
"I never thought I'd miss land this much," he said.
"Or at least a bigger boat," she said softly.
Zuko laughed. He felt elated to be back on shore, to be off the raft, to be anywhere at that moment except drifting in the middle of the ocean.
They continued lying on the sand until Iroh sailed closer to the shore. Zuko stood up and took Chiara's hand helping her to her feet. They returned to the water where they helped Iroh drag their makeshift raft onto the beach. They grabbed their weapons, and Chiara grabbed her Water Tribe coat and boots, and they started walking up the coast.
"We need to be careful until we find out where we are," warned Iroh.
It did not take them long to discover where they were when they came across a huge resort. Iroh and Chiara immediately recognized it.
"We could not have landed in a more perfect place," said Iroh.
"It seems like a long time ago," said Chiara sadly.
"You guys were here before?" asked Zuko.
"Yes," answered Iroh. "We spent many relaxing days here."
The weather was mild and the cherry trees were in bloom as they approached the Fire Nation resort. As royalty from the Fire Nation, they were treated as such, and they were given a small cottage where they left their few belongings.
"Let's go eat," said Iroh, his stomach growling loudly at the mere thought of food. "I'm looking forward to some good Fire Nation cuisine."
While enjoying a meal other than fish, Zuko was already making mental plans for resuming his search for the Avatar, especially after discovering what day it was. After filling their empty stomachs, they headed to the baths where Iroh and Zuko were led in one direction and Chiara was led in another. They met up after they had bathed and changed into clean, dry clothes. Zuko was content to see Chiara out of the Water Tribe clothing; and her hair, which had been braided since the Siege, was now hanging about her in long, thick locks which he always admired.
"I didn't think someone so beautiful could be even more so," smiled Iroh when he saw her.
Zuko was thinking he felt the same way, and he was disappointed that he could not articulate his feelings as eloquently as his uncle.
Chiara gave Iroh a small smile. She wished she felt as beautiful as Iroh believed her to be, but the memories of the Siege were still fresh in her mind, so she remained quiet.
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Feeling clean and sated, they took a walk taking in the scenery and enjoying the chance to move around.
"Let's get massages," suggested Iroh as they approached the spa.
"I'll pass," said Zuko as he leaned against the wall.
"Me too," said Chiara. "I'm going to walk around."
As Iroh was enjoying his massage, Zuko sat nearby on the floor while Chiara walked outside amid the trees and the falling cherry blossom petals. She found a quiet, solitary spot where she sat down and cried, allowing herself to mourn Surak, Yue, and the dead warriors as well as the Fire Nation soldiers, especially any she had known personally.
After so long adrift on the raft with little food and too little to do to take his mind off his worries, and now stranded without a ship and crew, especially on the anniversary of his banishment, Zuko was feeling moody and agitated.
"Aahhh," moaned Iroh contentedly as the masseurs worked on his aching muscles. "This is what I've been missing. Who knew floating on a piece of driftwood for two weeks with little food and water and sea vultures waiting to pluck your liver could make one so tense."
He glanced over at Zuko who sat impassive, saying nothing in his sullen state. Iroh noticed that he had become moody quickly after learning the date earlier, but he was still surprised to find that that one bit of information had completely destroyed the joy his nephew had felt upon reaching land, and even caused him to brood despite a decent meal and a warm bath. Walking over, Iroh sat down next to him.
"I see," he started in a sympathetic tone. "It's the anniversary, isn't it?"
"Three years ago today I was banished. I lost it all. I want it back. I want the Avatar. I want my honor, my throne. I want my father not to think I'm worthless."
"I'm sure he doesn't," said Iroh positively. "Why would he banish you if he didn't care?"
Zuko scowled at him before getting to his feet and walking off.
"Uh...," frowned Iroh towards the masseurs. "...that came out wrong, didn't it?"
Zuko walked around the grounds until he found Chiara sitting underneath a cherry tree with blossom petals speckling her hair. As he approached her, though, he realized she was crying, so he knelt down next to her.
"Chiara? What's wrong?"
She was startled when she heard him and she quickly wiped the tears from her eyes and slowly shook her head.
"Tell me why you're crying," he said gently caressing her head.
She could not tell him about her cousin or Yue.
"We're safe now," he assured her assuming she might still be worried about the danger they were in at the North Pole.
He took her hand and held it, and they sat there silently until they heard Iroh calling them.
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That night, they all enjoyed lying down in a bed rather than sleeping on the cold, hard deck of a raft, though once they were lying still they could still feel the movement of the waves when they closed their eyes.
Despite the comfortable bed, something Chiara had not had in many years, she tossed and turned throughout the night. It was long before sunrise when a nightmare kept her from falling back to sleep, and she spent the next few hours in tears.
Iroh and Zuko rose with the sun, and the three of them enjoyed a fishless breakfast together.
"Oh, I slept so well last night," said Iroh.
Zuko nodded in agreement. "It was more comfortable than a raft."
Chiara was silent, but she looked tired and her eyes were red.
"What about you, Chiara?" Iroh had been worried about her silence. "How did you sleep?"
"Okay," she said softly, barely touching the noodles in her bowl.
"You don't look okay," said Zuko who had been worried about her as well.
"I...I woke up early."
"Was your bed not comfortable?" Iroh asked her.
"It was."
"Then you really should take advantage of the masseurs," he suggested. "They will help with all that tension."
She was looking down at her bowl. "I'm going to look for work."
"What?!" said Zuko, upset by the idea. "You don't need to work."
"I want to keep busy."
"Then go take a walk or...or get a massage like Uncle said."
She did not feel like arguing, but she was determined to do anything to keep her mind from dwelling on recent events. After breakfast she left the cottage and started towards the spa to look for work.
"Chiara..." Zuko had hold of her arm, stopping her. "You shouldn't be doing manual labor," he argued. "You're royalty. You should be relaxing here."
"I find work relaxing," she said.
"You don't look well," he said softly not wanting her to go. "You don't look like you slept at all last night."
"I told you I woke up early this morning."
"Then go back inside and rest."
"I can't," she insisted. She could not be alone with her thoughts. "I need to keep busy."
He sighed, but he let her go.
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Every morning, Chiara woke up before sunrise after a restless sleep. Unable to go back to sleep, she would sit outside under the stars and quietly cry.
One day after seeing that her sad and tired disposition was not improving, Zuko waited until she left the cottage, and he went to talk to his uncle who was sitting out back beneath a cherry tree with his morning tea.
"There's something wrong with her, Uncle," he said as he stared out at the calm ocean in the distance. "She's not sleeping and she always looks like she's been crying."
"Give her time, Prince Zuko. We've all been through a lot recently."
The trauma of seeing so many of their people dead had affected each of them. Though Iroh had seen the casualties of war, he had never seen so many soldiers lost in one battle. But he knew that Chiara was also mourning the loss of her cousin, Yue, and the other Water tribesmen. He, too, mourned those innocent lives that were cut down too soon, but he knew it was more personal for Chiara, and he understood that she needed time to heal.
"She hasn't been right since before the Siege...since before the assassination attempt," said Zuko trying to think back to when she last seemed herself.
"And she was very troubled by that," said Iroh. "If I had not stopped her, she would've jumped into the burning wreckage to look for you."
Zuko turned to him, stunned to hear it. "R-really?"
Iroh nodded solemnly.
"But I'm alive," said the prince. "Zhao failed, and now he's...he's gone. She shouldn't be worried about that anymore."
"Like I said, Nephew, give her time," he repeated.
Zuko did not like that answer.
"Do...do you know what happened between her and Zhao?" he asked his uncle in a soft, hesitant voice.
Iroh looked at him and contemplated whether he should tell him.
Zuko noticed the hesitation. "What happened?" he asked, now worried.
Iroh looked down at the teacup in his hand. "You remember Zhao's interest in taking Chiara for his wife."
"How can I forget," he said in deep voice still feeling indignant about it.
"He believed marrying my daughter would put him close to the throne. I thought when he discovered that Chiara was adopted he would lose interest, but I think he believed it would still be a powerful union," he said as if rambling to his teacup, though Zuko suspected he was stalling.
"I already know that," he said impatiently. "But something else happened between them."
Iroh's eyes met Zuko's anxious ones. He knew his nephew was going to get upset. "When Zhao talked of destroying the Water Tribe, Chiara offered herself as his wife on the condition that he would abandon the Siege."
"What?!" he yelled. "And you let her do that?!"
"It was a bigger surprise to me than it was to Zhao," said Iroh. "I know how much she despised him, yet she offered to be an obedient wife and give him many children if only he would leave the Water Tribe alone." Iroh stared blankly at his tea again. "He would've been wiser to take her offer," he added softly as he considered Zhao's fate.
Zuko found himself clenching his fists. He was both stunned and angry. "I...I can't believe she would do that."
Iroh looked at him. "Do not get upset with her, Prince Zuko," he said as he worried about Zuko's temper and Chiara's depressed state. "It's Chiara's nature to take care of others even if it means sacrificing her own happiness, especially considering it was for an entire Nation."
"But what if Zhao had accepted her offer?"
His uncle looked grave. "I thought he was going to when he requested to forgo the year of promise."
Zuko did not think he could feel any angrier or more disgusted with Zhao. "He what?!"
"I begged Chiara to reconsider, but she thought her life was a small price to pay."
Zuko sighed as he knelt down nearby and tugged at a few blades of grass. "He wouldn't have been good to her," he said softly.
"She understood that, but she would've accepted it for the safety of the Water Tribe."
"She wouldn't deserve it though," said Zuko sadly as he thought about how cruelly Zhao might have treated her. "I don't understand how she could sacrifice herself so easily. She doesn't owe that Tribe anything."
Iroh's eyes met his nephew's, but they did not betray any secret. "It wasn't easy for her, Zuko. Later she was crying after Zhao had turned her down..."
"Good," he interrupted. "She never should've made the offer."
"No, you don't understand. She wasn't crying because Zhao turned her down; she was crying because she thought she was a terrible person for being relieved that he refused her proposal."
Zuko was stunned, and he wondered what he could do to help her. As he processed the information, he realized he still did not understand why she had been so depressed lately. The Water Tribe was not destroyed and Zhao was dead. He knew there had to be something else upsetting her.
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Early the next morning Zuko woke before sunrise. He lay in bed with his mind turning over new plans. Without his ship he needed to find a new way to search for the Avatar. Zuko was sure that he would be searching for an earthbending master now, so it was just a matter of finding a way to travel through the Earth Kingdom in disguise. But he had no resources, and pondering over all he lost frustrated him. It was weeks ago when he wondered how much worse his life could get, and that was before he lost his ship and crew. Now he was sure it could not get any worse.
He climbed out of bed to step outside for fresh air. Walking through the cottage, he heard a soft whimper as he passed Chiara's room. He stopped at her door.
"Chiara?" he said softly.
There was no answer.
"Chiara?" he called again.
There was still no answer, though he was sure she was inside. He slid the door open a little and carefully peeked inside. Holding up a flame he slid the door open just enough to squeeze through. He walked in to find her asleep, but she was moving around restlessly in her bed. He had never entered her room before while she was sleeping, but he was too worried about her to be concerned over the awkward feeling. Stepping over to the bed he carefully sat down next to her. He tenderly caressed her head as she turned and moaned in her sleep, and he wondered what was causing her so much distress. Suddenly, she sat up startling him, and his flame went out. He quickly lit the small lamp next to the bed and when he turned back to her she was looking down at her hands.
"Chiara, it's okay. You're okay," he said.
Tears began streaming down her face. She wiped them from her eyes and turned away from him in shame, her hair flowing around her like a veil. He put his hand on her back and gently rubbed it.
"Chiara, please tell me what's wrong."
She shook her head.
"Why not?" he asked.
She did not speak, but only cried quietly with her face in her hands.
"Chiara, something's wrong. You need to talk to me. You haven't been...well, you haven't been yourself since before...since before the assassination attempt," he said.
She continued crying.
"Please talk to me," he begged. "I want to help you."
She would not speak.
Not wanting to push her anymore, he turned her towards him and wrapped his arms around her. He held her while caressing her head allowing her to cry on his shoulder. He wanted to comfort her just as she comforted him after his nightmares during those first few weeks of his banishment.
After a long time in his arms, she sat back, and he reached up and tenderly wiped the tears from her cheeks.
"It...it's nothing I've done, is it?" he asked her.
She looked up at him and shook her head. "No," she answered softly. She hesitated, but then she finally decided to tell him. "When-when I was looking for Zhao, I came across so many dead warriors. There was so much blood." Her voice was soft and nearly a whisper and she was looking at her hands again as if she could still see blood on them. "One of them was still alive. He-he died holding my hand."
More tears fell and her sorrow broke his heart, so he wrapped his arms around her and held her again. He thought it had been one man she tried to save, not a field of dead warriors. Suddenly, his own worries seemed less heavy at that moment.
"I'm so sorry, Chiara."
"I couldn't help him," she softly cried. "Every time I close my eyes, I see those burned warriors, their blood, one taking his last breath."
He continued holding her caressing her head. He had no idea that she had seen such violence. He remembered Iroh speaking of the burials of the Air Nomad remains being hard on her tender heart. He could not even imagine how difficult actually seeing the slaughter of the Water Tribe had been for her. Though he saw the remains of his people floating in the aftermath of the ocean spirit's wrath, he never saw the battles or the blood of the soldiers as he was too busy looking for the Avatar.
"I'm sorry," he said softly as he held her more tightly.