Aidan changed into some more comfortable clothes and sat at the desk in my room to write. I laid in bed for a little while longer, just watching him hunched over it. My thoughts ran a hundred miles an hour, there was too much to consider. I wondered why my father had requested we stay in my office the entire time we were there. He'd tried his hardest, suggesting he send through my work to do from home. I tried to find where the dots connected.
Maybe Jesse was the redacted name on the sheet. That would explain it if Aidan had revealed who he was to my father. It would explain why he was adamant that Aidan would be safer at mine.
My eyes trailed along Aidan's back as I stood up. He'd checked his phone just a moment ago. His lawyer simply said that Jesse would be released tomorrow morning. I changed into a little bit of formal casual wear. Nice dress pants, button-up shirt. I walked over to Aidan and gently rested my hands on his shoulders. His body was tense under my touch. I wish I knew exactly what he was thinking.
"Talk to me," I softly said.
"I've almost finished," he replied quietly, I had to lean down to hear him. "I'll stand beside you when you talk to them. They'll want pictures."
He spat out the last word angrily. The fact that the media had no respect when it came to this, they only cared for the story and what they could make out of it.
"Are you sure?" I asked as I squeezed his shoulders.
"They won't leave either of us alone if they don't get what they want," he shrugged. "If they want to ask more questions after the statement, I'll give you one squeeze for an answer and two for no comment."
"Works for me," I replied.
He finished writing, looking it over once more before holding it out to me. I took a deep breath in and read over most of the middle area since that was where most of his frustration seemed to be. My eyebrows furrowed together, my expression must have shown my confusion.
"I'm going to be blunt about the decision, but not... hateful," he said. "I don't exactly hate him in the end. It's just not who I am. I'm angry, sure, but... but not that."
"Understood," I mumbled. "Ready to go out?"
He nodded slowly after letting out a sigh. Holding out my hand to him, he took it anxiously. I noticed his hand shaking in mine. Despite the look of defiance on his face and the rest of his body looking pretty relaxed, it was clear just how bad it was in his head. As we stood at the door, he squeezed my hand gently.
"Can we go to that room you punished Irene in when I first came over?" he asked suddenly. "After this. I want to learn some more and... I'll explain the rest later. Just, please, can we?"
"Of course," I said. I leaned down and pressed my lips to his temple. "Deep breath."
I opened the door for us, stepping out into the bright sunlight. Reporters immediately turned to look at us. Thankfully, with the sun out, the flashes were turned off the cameras. I bit my tongue, trying to hold back my anger and frustration.
We barely got out the door and they swarmed. Aidan stood to my right, though hid mostly behind me. People were speaking over each other, I could barely keep it together and I couldn't even imagine how it was for Aidan.
"If everyone could please be quiet!" I yelled. "Aidan has given me a statement to read on the matter and if you want to hear it, then please, quiet down."
"Why must you read it?" one asked instantly.
At least they'd all calmed down enough that I could hear.
"He doesn't feel confident enough to speak, if you could just allow me to read," I replied.
They stayed silent, holding out microphones expectantly.
I swallowed. "My name is Gabriel, I'll be speaking on behalf of Aidan. He has this statement to present to the reporters and their audiences." I glanced down at him, giving his hand a squeeze. I could feel him shaking beside me, but I couldn't do anything more. It broke my heart. But I kept my cool, looking down at the paper.
"Aidan states; I have recently been made aware that one of the men who attacked me, Jesse Stilton," my voice catches on the last name, finally realising why Aidan was so worried at my workplace. Surely he's not the estranged son. It's just a coincidence, right? "Has been allowed to leave prison early, tomorrow morning in fact. While I do not stand by the decision to release him, I mean him no harm or hatred. I have no plans to talk to the man, though that may change depending on the reason. I will, at this point however, respectfully ask for him to be better in his life and hope that no one else will be harmed upon his release. What I went through is surely on his mind just as much as it is on mine, and there is no way to change the past, but instead consider the possibility of a better future. That is all that will be said on the matter. If Gabriel wishes to answer some questions on my behalf, please be kind and don't talk over each other."
As I finished and folded up the piece of paper, people started asking questions. Words mixed together, completely ignoring the last part of Aidan's message. I sighed out loudly, hanging my head for a moment. Taking time to prepare myself, I lifted my head and spoke loudly.
"I'll take questions," I forced out. "But you are going to have to be silent. I'll point to people if need be. But this is only going to work if I can actually hear people."
They all fell silent and like little school children, raised their hands. I pointed to one lady who had stayed quiet while the others tried to interject. If she had such consideration to wait, maybe she'd have some nicer questions.
"Mine's technically a two-part question, if I may," she said, and I nodded for her to continue. "Your name is Gabriel Miller, correct?"
My lips pressed together. They must have searched the address and found the ownership. I declined to give them my name the other day. I doubt they would have found it any other way. "Yes."
"Are you, and Aidan, aware that your father's company will be having Stilton coming in on Monday?" she asked. "As a favour to the family, given that his father, despite being estranged from his son, was one of the co-owners of the company."
Aidan's body stiffened. The answer was obvious. We just didn't want to acknowledge it. We didn't want to see it there. He squeezed gently. Answer.
"I was not aware, and seeing as I wasn't aware, neither was Aidan." I pointed to another person.
"You two are partners, correct? How does he feel knowing that one of his abusers will be working for you?" a tall man with glasses and a notepad asked calmly.
I gritted my teeth. I felt Aidan squeeze my hand. Answer.
"I'm not okay with it, I won't deny it," I managed to speak. "I'm pretty sure he would not be either. I'll be having a long discussion with my father, Mr Stilton, and Aidan as soon as humanly possible about the situation. In the end, it will more than likely be up to my father and what Aidan has to say on it."
"But what do you expect him to do if he can't have a job, a life?" one of them interrupted before I could point to another.
I was starting to get angrier. My face was flushed. I forgot to wait for Aidan's signal and started talking.
"He made his choices last year," I said, breathing out heavily. "He should have thought about that before hurting someone. But in the end, if Aidan is quite happy to let the man go about his life in the hope that he's changed, then we will allow him the opportunity to prove it at the warehouse. I hope you all have a wonderful day, but we are done here."
I turned on my heel and helped Aidan through the door. Before closing it, I turned back to the reporters. I'd allowed them onto the property. I'd allowed them to go against the law even, to stick around as they had. No longer will they bother him.
"If you are still on my property in the next five minutes, I will be calling the police. I'm well aware of the law," I said, more brutal than intended. "You can't be directly on my property without my permission, and you've all lost that."
I pushed the door shut, locking it quickly. My eyes squeezed shut, the grip on the doorknob tightening. I felt a hand on my forearm, and I looked down to see Aidan staring up at me longingly. His hand was still shaking. Tears threatened to spill from my eyes, and the longer I looked at Aidan, the more I noticed his own tears. It was frustrating, confusing. If that's how I was feeling, what was on my precious Aidan's mind?
"Take me to that room," he whispered.
"You're not going to ask me to do... anything rough, are you?" I asked. "I know you may want it, I don't think it's a good idea though. You need to be in the right mindset for certain acts."
He shook his head. "Just go over the stuff in there with me. You can gently try some of it with me to give me an idea of the levels if you're okay with that."
"I can work with that, baby," I nodded in agreement.
I led him down the hallway to the room. It was technically meant to be a guest bedroom, but Irene and I had renovated it to fit with our wants and needs when I first bought the place. As we stepped in, Aidan's eyes went around the room again. This time, it was less with fear, more with awe. His eyes scanned over the various paddles, whips, and rollers. Anything that gave a sting or a sensual pain.
I followed him quietly. I wanted him to take this time to take it all in and think about what he wanted. Not that I would be doing anything too rough or wild. Even if he asked for it, I wouldn't be making this day any worse or more painful for him. Emotional pain was hard enough, and add on physical pain, sometimes it could break a person.
"There's a couple missing," he gestured to a blank space on the wall.
"Irene must have taken them with her on her trip," I said as I looked over to the space he was pointing at.
It was some of the harder and bigger ones that were missing too. More than likely for others to use on her but it could be for the odd submissive client she took up. Certainly not a worry at least, I wouldn't be using such things on him this early.
"You won't need to worry about them, baby," I added. "Those would have been way too much for you."
"That's okay," he smiled lightly as he continued looking. "I remembered something when you explained aftercare to me. Alyssa tries out new ropes and waxes on me and herself, she likes to get multiple points of view, you were correct. But she also always gives me something after she does her little practice, she just never explained it as aftercare to me."
"She probably didn't want you being more involved in what she was doing," I laughed. "Which clearly didn't uh... work out for her."
He started stripping down and I watched him carefully.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"I'll stay in my underwear," he said as he continued to undress. "Just to make things a bit easier."
"I'm not going to be doing much to you, remember?" I warned him.
"I know, baby," he said. "I want to be comfortable with whatever it is you do."
"Okay, sweetheart," I said, coming up behind him and wrapping my arms around his waist.
My head rested on his shoulder. Kissing along his shoulder and up to his neck, I smiled softly at the little marks and hickeys that still littered his skin. Without leaving any more, I let out a breath. "What would you like to look at first?"
"I'll go grab some juice boxes and snacks while you figure it out?" he suggested. "I'm... I'm not too sure. I've never used any of the harder looking stuff, like the paddles or..." He lost his words as he looked at the whips.
"We can look at those if you prefer, and not use them at all, even lightly," I said reassuringly. "Go get your things, anything you may need."
My eyes kept to him as he left the room and looked around myself afterwards. I wasn't sure what he'd be into, but I took down a couple of the small paddles and one whip that had never been used. Next to the bed was already some rope and the shears in case anything ever went wrong. I placed the paddles and whip next to them and ignored the rollers. I figured I'd just explain them, they were very simple devices.
He came back into the room a few minutes later and set a small tub he must have found in the kitchen onto the bed. Inside I saw some juice boxes, a packet of lollies, and that koala stuffed toy that Irene had handed him the first time he hurt himself on me.
"Are we getting attached?" I pointed to it.
"Don't laugh..." he shyly answered.
"I'm not," I bit back a chuckle at his shyness. "If it's something you like, you can keep it. Sort of like a comfort toy."
"Comfort toy?" he asked, looking at it.
"It's just something you've formed an attachment to, hopefully, a good attachment, and it can bring you down from a high or back up from a low," I explained.
"Oh," he replied. "It's just what Irene gave me, so I guess I remember it from when you both were worried and wanted me to feel better."
"That's a good reason," I smiled. "Ready to learn more about impact play, and maybe a little about wax, and ropes?"
"That's... a lot of stuff," he looked up at me.
"I know, but most of it has to do with understanding limits, and feelings, both physical and mental," I pressed my lips to his and continued speaking as I pulled away. "I'll tie you up a bit first."
He nodded and crawled onto the bed, pushing the box off to the side. It left a lot of room for us to work with. I sat on the edge of the bed and kicked off my shoes. Then I grabbed some rope and moved further onto the bed to get comfortable.
"Sit in front of me," I said sternly.
If I was going to do this, I might as well put on a soft commanding voice for him. He moved in front of me as he was told. I moved his body to how I wanted it, with his legs somewhat outstretched. I began tying his legs together with the rope, doing so lightly.
"Typically, it'd be quite a bit tighter than this, but we're going to do everything lightly," I reiterated as I continued weaving the rope. "Some people may like it like this, but I cannot tell you from your point of view. I've never been tied up like this, so you can tell me how you feel."
"What's the point of it?" he asked.
"It depends on the person," I explained, thinking of the right words. "For some, it may be about how self-aware their body feels, sometimes it's about the vulnerability with their partner. It doesn't have to be about sex or pain or degradation. Shibari and rope work can be for many reasons. But there is a difference between Shibari and using the rope for bondage play. Even if it does share similar qualities."
"Tighten the rope a little?" he asked, and I did as he requested. "Did you want me to call you anything in particular during this?"
"Gabriel or Daddy will do perfectly," I responded. "It's not exactly a scene, so I don't expect you to be formal, but if you want to be my Little One and I be Daddy, then we can do that."
"I'd actually like that, Daddy," he smiled genuinely this time. "I think I need that feeling I get."
"You want to describe it for me, Little One?" I asked.
"It feels like... It's safety, protection, and it gives me peace," his eyes turned away for a moment, thinking. "It relaxes my mind so I can focus on what you're doing or saying. So I only focus on that."
"I'm glad I can give you that. How are the ropes?"
"They feel good, Daddy. What are some of the uh... terms for this?"
"Well, Shibari has a bottom and a rigger. I'm the rigger as I'm tying you up, you're the bottom because you're being tied. You may also come across words like 'suspension', or 'floor play'." I gestured upwards and his eyes followed my finger. "We have one space for suspension. I've tied up Irene before and suspended her body above the ground. It lets her relax and just empty her mind, think on specific things rather than have everything rushing at once."
I leaned over and picked up the small shears. From the look on Aidan's face, he was completely faded and relaxed. He was focused solely on my voice, my words, and my face.
"These are for the ropes if I've tightened the knot too much and can't undo them. If you get uncomfortable, if the rope is too tight, or if it's causing pain, it gets snipped. And don't be afraid to tell me. If I have to cut the rope, I'll cut the rope. I can get more." I set the shears to the side again.
He nodded slowly, processing my words. I pulled out some more rope, doing a similar, simple design moving around his upper body. He relaxed in the rope, breathing out slowly, carefully.
"How are you feeling?" I asked once more.
"Good actually," he answered. "It feels... I can't really describe it. Giving up full control to you like this is good. I feel comfortable, safe, and it's almost therapeutic- I think."
"It can be like that, as I said Little One, it's up to the individual. I can't tell you how to feel and it's different for everyone."
"Do you... Do you do anything else while the bottom is tied up, Daddy?" He looked down at the rope, his eyes trailing over the twists and knots.
"It can sometimes intensify certain touches or um... Like, dripping wax over you, it could make you more aware of the feeling and sensation," I traced my fingers along his legs and up to his stomach, watching him shiver. "But you don't necessarily have to do anything else."
"Would you please do that, Daddy?"
"Pour wax on you?" I asked to clarify.
"Yes, please."
I leaned over the bed and picked up a candle I'd bought a month ago, along with some matches from in the top drawer. Irene normally didn't let me use wax unless she was in a very particular mood, so I was looking forward to seeing how Aidan reacted to it. I lit the candle and let the wax melt while it sat on the bedside table so that I could move Aidan around. I needed him to be able to sit up against the headboard.
"This is so I can pour it on specific places," I explained as I moved him.
He nodded slowly. I picked up the candle again, dripping some of the hot wax over his chest. He whimpered at the initial impact of it. His eyelids fluttered closed and his breathing relaxed.
"It does feel better like this, Daddy," he said.
"You said that Alyssa tested new products with you," I said softly. "Did she use both at the same time as we're doing now?"
"Never," he mumbled, groaning softly as I poured a little more over his shoulder. I watched it roll down until it hardened. "It was always one at a time. I guess it was not to overstimulate me."
"Are you overstimulated right now? Do we need to stop, Little One?"
He shook his head. "No, I'm still okay, I promise, Daddy."
I let my eyes glide over his body, slowly taking him in. I wanted to make sure everything was still going okay. It's not that I didn't trust him. He'd just been through an emotional moment, finding out huge news that could ruin things if we let it. I didn't want those thoughts clouding his judgement on the half-scene and educational experience.
He appeared outwardly okay, but I wasn't sure what was going on in that head. He was asking questions about the scene and seemingly focused on me. That's not always the case, especially if he was masking an emotion or thought to me.
"What's on your mind?" I asked calmly.
His eyes went to mine, and he breathed out coolly. "I... I won't lie, Jesse keeps coming to mind. I don't want to see him, because I'm afraid that I'll want to hit him or curse him out or do something that will make things worse, but I want to be with you. In case the reporters are here tomorrow. Please, Daddy, I'd still like to come with you."
I brushed off the dried wax from his body as I listened.
I sighed softly. "Of course, Little One. I'm only sighing because I don't want you hurt, but there's no way for you to simply relax tomorrow. Coming with me may be the lesser of two evils."
He smiled half-heartedly. "I know. But, thank you, Daddy."
"Would you like me to end this and move on to the impact play?" I rested my hand on his waist, massaging deeply.
He nodded. "Yes, please."
I smiled, untying the ropes from him, and gradually pulling them away from his body. He shivered at the feeling. Leaning over to his little care box, I pulled out one of the juice boxes and held it out to him. He took it happily, immediately putting the straw in and sipping at it.
"One last time, Little One," I said, brushing my fingertips against his cheek. "Are you okay?"
"Yes, Daddy," he said as he leaned into the touch. "You did what I asked and I'm thankful. Are you okay too?"
I smiled at this. "I'm more than okay. Thank you for checking in, that's a good boy."
His smile brightened at the praise, nuzzling into my hand. I chuckled under my breath at how adorable this view was. I took my hand away for a moment and heard a loud whine. I explained I was just getting his toy and he perked up. One of his hands went out and did a 'grabby' sort of motion.
I bit my lip to stop myself from outright laughing. It was such a sweet sight to behold, but I didn't want him to feel self-conscious, not to mention something was certainly off about how he was acting. He seemed to be slipping into a different mindset, and quickly. After taking out the koala, I held it out to him. He grabbed it quickly, holding it close to his body.
"Cuddle?" he asked childishly.
I tilted my head a little. There really was something off about this.
"What's going on in your mind?" I asked as I moved closer, pulling him onto my lap to cuddle him that way.
"I'm... I'm not really sure?" he said. He genuinely seemed confused, even to me. "It just kind of came out like that... Like, childish. Child-like? Is that a bad thing?"
"You may have age-regressed." I looked him over, not as concerned as a moment ago. I knew how to take care of someone who needed that added stability and sense of safety. "I might have triggered something. You said family life wasn't the best so you may be allowing yourself to care for your inner child. From what I've read, it can be therapeutic in the right hands and fostered correctly."
"What's that mean though?" he pushed, trying to understand himself. He still had the koala toy clutched to his chest, sipping on the box as he looked up at me. He seemed so little.
"It means, we're going to stop, for now. And I'm going to properly care for you, and we can continue later," I gently spoke. "Let's go watch a movie, relax even more. How's that sound?"
"That sounds so good, Daddy," he grinned. "Just cuddles and a movie?"
"Exactly," I replied, leaning in to rub my nose against his. "Just that and only that."