Aidan had barely moved since his attempt at riding me. We were still laying on the lounge chair together. I'd managed to eat my dinner without any problem, despite the awkwardness of him still clinging to me. At least my erection had gone down, and he still trusted me enough to lay here against me. Eventually, he sat up to look at me. He winced in pain as he did this, his legs buckling on either side of me, and my hands automatically went to his waist.
"Getting up now?" I asked.
"If I can," he mumbled under his breath.
"I'm sorry," I squeezed his waist.
"It's no one's fault, Gabe, I promise," he said and smiled. "I promise. It was an accident. We didn't expect it."
He slipped off the seat slowly, his legs wobbling as soon as his feet hit the ground. His hands gripped the armrests to steady himself, but he couldn't fully hold himself up. Thankfully, Irene had stood up and was able to grab a hold of him before he came crashing down. She lifted the skirt to check him, and we both saw it. I expected it, I didn't want it to be true, but I expected it. Dried blood was down his thigh. He looked down also, groaning in annoyance. He's not scared at least. But annoyed? Maybe he's uncomfortable.
"It's more dysphoric than anything," he said, pushing the fabric out of Irene's hand so the skirt would cover it. "Not your fault, Gabriel."
He reiterated that it wasn't my fault. Did he think I would be upset? That I would blame myself? He's not wrong. I do. They both turned their eyes to me. Their gaze was on my length, and I looked down. I had some dried blood on me also, mostly around the base, but it still hurt to see.
"I'll run a bath," Irene said, though there wasn't a question in it, she was telling us. "Thankfully it's big enough for all of us. I'm making sure you both relax."
"I'm fine," I said. "I can have a shower while you two are-..."
"No," she insisted. "I know you, Gabe. What's going through your mind isn't okay right now."
She had the sense to remind me that what was going through my mind wasn't okay. But I can't help it, I do blame myself. I pulled my underwear and jeans back over myself. I ignored what she said. It's true. I didn't want to admit it, but it was true. I couldn't help myself from thinking that he should simply go back to Alyssa.
He should never speak to me again, he should leave right now, never see me again. I didn't have full control and it was something that Irene had been helping me with for so long. I just wasn't ready for this.
"Come on, Daddy."
I looked up at Aidan. A begging look on his face. Irene was whispering in his ear, and he appeared to be repeating what she suggested. Though his words flowed out sweetly and filled my ears so well that I relaxed with every syllable.
"I want you to come take care of me, please," he said softly.
I stood from the chair, towering over them both. I breathed out through my nose while I considered his request. He lifted his arms up to me, longing to see me take him into my own. Irene gave me a look and I accepted. I lifted him, holding onto his thighs. His arms draped over my shoulders and he nuzzled in close, breathing in my scent.
"Please," he whispered.
Irene held the lounge room door open for us. I kept my eyes forward, carrying him to the bathroom. She followed behind me and turned on the bathtub as we entered. It took all of my energy to keep my mind off the blame and the fear. Irene placed her hand under the water, checking the temperature as I sat on the edge and placed Aidan's feet back on the ground in front of me.
"Allow me," I said, pulling the crop top off his head.
He was still wobbly on his feet but at least he could stand well enough on his own this time. After, I took off his skirt, throwing both items in the hamper behind him. I helped him into the tub while Irene undressed. She slipped in, facing him. Irene held out a washcloth for him to use, the look on her face was endearing. She cared about him too.
She'd also thrown some kind of strawberry-scented bath bomb in, and it had begun to fill the room with its smell. I stood from the edge of the tub and pulled off my clothes slowly as I thought, throwing them in the hamper also. A flood of intrusive thoughts fell over me.
Though I followed as I'd said I would, getting in the tub behind Aidan. He held out the cloth to me, his focus still on Irene, however. They were talking about work-related topics, but I wasn't actively listening to them. Instead, I took the cloth from him and began to rub over his thighs, removing the blood. He leaned against my chest and continued chatting. I stayed silent, keeping to my thoughts. Despite how dangerous that was.
I eventually felt a nudge in my side.
"Gabe?" Irene was staring at me.
Aidan had been the one to nudge me, both pairs of eyes staring at me.
"Yes?" I asked. Had they asked me a question? Fuck, I was too lost in my mind.
"You okay?" Aidan searched my eyes worriedly.
"Yes?" I repeated, trying to sound genuine.
"That's a lie," Irene said bluntly.
"You're still upset that I got hurt, aren't you?" he questioned.
"That I hurt you," I corrected him. "But I'm not upset, it's okay. We need to focus on washing and relaxing right now."
"You don't have to hide how you feel," Aidan said. He turned his body around so he could face me, his legs going over mine. "You did everything right. And how can we be relaxing if you're not allowing yourself to?"
"And yet I-..."
"Stop," Irene demanded. "Stop, Gabe. He's okay. Why are you so worried over this? He said it was an accident. It's no one's fault!"
"Because I haven't felt like this in a while, and I don't want to ruin it!" I snapped, my chest heaving. "I can't control myself, I can't be perfect, I can't... stop hurting people I care about."
The silence was deafening after I closed my mouth. My chest was still rising and falling heavily. I fought the urge to say 'see' when Aidan wrapped his arms around me. Irene moved up to Aidan and pulled us both closer together. A tangled mess of limbs and warmth. I let them hold on, my mind going blank for the first time since it happened.
"You don't need to be perfect," Irene said. "And you've proven you can be in control. You stopped me from overdoing it with my game, you stopped yourself from thrusting earlier, and you made sure he would have time to relax."
"And me getting hurt was an accident," Aidan emphasised. "It was bound to happen. And you stopped yourself from making it worse. Just like Irene said. You listened to me when I said to let me relax then move me."
I still couldn't find the words. My mind was completely blank. I'd never said anything like this out loud and it was like a breath of fresh air. Even though I couldn't figure out what to do or say, I relaxed into them.
"So, are you okay?" Irene asked suddenly.
"I am now," I whispered as my arms went around the both of them. "Are my Little Ones tired?"
"A bit," Aidan admitted, and Irene nodded in agreement. "Oh um..."
"Yes, sweetheart?" I asked.
He pointed to Irene's bracelet, "Do I get one during the trial period?"
"You can have one and a little celebration after the month," I said. "I want you to have this time to learn and see how it feels."
"I can accept that," he said. "But uh... yes, bedtime. Where am I sleeping?"
"Irene and I have our own bedrooms. Usually, you'd sleep in with me, but I want you in with Irene." I looked at Irene when she narrowed her eyes, opening her mouth to say something. "Not because I don't trust myself. I want some time for myself tonight, just to think."
"Okay," he leaned up and pressed his lips to where he'd slapped me earlier. "I am sorry for this. It won't happen again. Well, I mean, unless you want it and it's a good slap... That wasn't okay, what I did."
"I know you're sorry, baby," I smiled. "You're forgiven. Now let's get you out and ready for bed."