Trigger Warning : blood , mention of sexual assault, depression
***
February 2023
Time healed wounds least that's what stories and the media told everybody. Everyone told Simone to take her time and not rush back into working. It was really the only way she knew how to move on. She would always throw herself into her work except this time - she couldn't. No amount of painting and art museum visits was going to fix the internal damage. It was an exhausting endless cycle of nightmares , restless nights and barely functioning.
She felt like a walking zombie just waiting on her world to continue crashing down. Isolation wasn't her strong suit , she loved her friends and her family. She had taken a leave of absence but it almost didn't matter, the school year was flying by anyway. Day in and day out , it felt like she was losing a piece of herself. She didn't know how many times she debated with the razor blade. She couldn't bring herself to do it and instead cried on the bathroom floor after forcing Jordan to return to work.
Amara kept pushing for her return to Atlanta. Everyone was trying in their own little way to fix her. Nobody could do that but Simone herself and just talking to a therapist didn't feel like it was cutting it. She wanted so badly to cut all ties with Jordan then maybe he would stop blaming himself for what happened. Maybe she should've looked deeper into his past to be more self aware.
Simone had decided to quietly check herself into a treatment facility. She had only told the whereabouts to her parents so they wouldn't panic on why she was off the grid. She had hoped that in a three months time , Jordan would forget she existed. She sat in the office of her new therapist. She had weekly sessions , the techniques given were working better than the first therapist. She felt more comfortable - the therapist looked like her. A rarity in almost every business.
"How are you feeling today Simone?" Dr. Tamrya Anderson asked.
"Okay I guess, I finished the book you suggested and painted a little."
She didn't want to ramble about how much she missed her students or how much she felt like she didn't know if she would ever return to feeling normal. She had dealt with depression before but this felt like a whole new scale. She couldn't manage it on her own like she was used too.
"That's wonderful. Reading takes you to another place right?"
"I mean , I guess. It helps for a little while to forget then as silly as it sounds, I find myself wondering what Jordan is doing and if he is happy." Simone hoped he was.
He stuck around seeing her at her worst. He moved her into his place for a while , helped her find a place that was closer to his. Even the school and the parents of her students pitched in to get her a new car. Yet, she still didn't get why everyone was so generous. Maybe it was the lack of parenting from her workaholic parents. She practically raised herself and depended on only herself.
Sure, she had her aunt and her friends but at the end of day - Simone still felt like she had herself.
Simone always had control of her mental state until it felt like she didn't. She was with other people that felt the same or worse than her. Her heart ached for them but she still kept to herself at the end of the day. She was looking forward to the day that she would be able to move on.
"Any more nightmares?"
"Sometimes but I've been focusing on breathing and meditation more." Which she was thankful for.
Her dreams got a little too vivid. She was positive she had one in which Jordan had moved on to Layla after all and that felt like a horror film. Meanwhile, Jordan sat with his mother opposite of JP Keating. He clenched and unclenched his jaw not paying much attention.
"You couldn't press charges then JP and certainly can't prove that Jordan is the father of Layla's son. Jordan didn't do anything and for you to act like Layla hasn't is ridiculous. Now you want to come around? I raised your daughter more than you did."
Jordan was positive that the Keating's were just delusional. None of this would've unfolded if Monica Keating was still alive. Layla never recovered from that and it was clear that JP was likely responsible for that because he had an affair when Layla was younger. He just couldn't wrap his head around Layla going this far to hurt someone he was close with. He didn't know how many times he held Simone in the middle of the night calming her down.
"Jordan? Where are you going?" Laura watched him rushing out
"Don't worry about it. Both Layla and JP can go to hell for all I care."
"And what about your son?" JP called out after him.
"I can assure you it's not mine and I will gladly prove that with a paternity test. Play with somebody else's time because I am very close to beating your ass just because I feel like it."
"I know you are stupid Jordan and my baby girl deserves the absolute best but you aren't that stupid. Touch me and you'll regret it."
"Touch him and you'll regret it." Laura interrupted immediately getting between her son and JP.
"If he wants to fight me mom , let him. He'll be the one in the body bag."
"Enough."
Jordan's emotions were already high. Just seeing the man pissed him off. The constant putting Layla on a pedestal as if she did no wrong made his blood boil. She had been hiding but The Hicks family made it a point to work with Laura on suing Layla. This wasn't some easy fix with a paper cut. Jordan had found himself in therapy himself not just for this whole ordeal but for his childhood trauma.
Between pleasing his father , his sister's addiction , his father's affair and the lack of parenting sometimes, he had a lot of unresolved issues. He was looking forward to day where his parenting style wasn't going to be anything like Billy Baker. Jordan knew that JP wasn't worth it but he knew what was the truth. He sat in car for what feels like a lifetime. It was unsettling going home and not having Simone there.
March 2023
"Have you heard from her?"
Jordan didn't remember getting in touch with Amara again. He just felt out of the loop and he hated not knowing where Simone is. He didn't like not knowing where she was especially after everything that happened. It left him anxious thinking of the absolute worst. His undereye bags were past designer that Olivia had been coming over more often just to make sure he slept.
"She's fine according to her mother."
"Where is she?" His leg bounced underneath the table.
He lost count of the days. Everything seemed like a blur and time was just that - time. He knew timing was important but he wasn't giving up on their relationship. Jordan wasn't going to let anyone break Simone. It was hard enough going back to work and acting like everything was fine. It sucked walking past her classroom and not seeing her there.
"I need to see for myself. I need to see that she is okay. Dr. Patterson, I understand you want to protect her. I don't even care enough to spill your little secret. That's not my business at all. All I care about is finding Simone. I can't go through this again." His voice raised.
"Just give it time. She'll come back when she is ready."
"So you want me to believe she just decided to leave?"
"I want you to believe that she will come back."
"Did you take her back to Atlanta?"
"Jordan. I did not take Simone anywhere. She didn't want to go. In fact, she cried because she didn't want to leave you. Trust me, I tried."
Amara wasn't going to lie about it. She didn't feel like Houston was a good fit for her anymore. She knew the trauma would affect Simone for the rest of her life and she needed a break from this. However , Simone didn't want to leave even if it was for a few days.
Patience. Jordan was tired of hearing everyone tell him to have patience. He was just glad that the only good thing that happened was finding out the truth about Layla's son. He knew she would do anything to get under his skin. He never thought she would sink this low. Jordan has been practicing his own techniques from his therapist.
He was positive he had two journals filled by now. Was this what heart break felt like? He never thought he would get so attached to someone. Jordan sat in his office trying to focus on figuring out a game plan for the next one. They had lost the last game. Tossing his glasses on the desk, he rubbed his face blocking out the light.
Uh, Jordan. Can we talk?" A voice rang.
"Now is not a good time. Send an email."
"I think this is important and —"
"I said send a email." Jordan pulled his hands from his face.
"I just - " Asher stumbled.
"You've got to be fucking kidding. You got to be fucking... You know when I found out you touched my sister while she was drugged , I let it slide because she didn't want me to beat your ass. I really fucking wanted too."
"Jordan, come on... you can't possibly thin-"
"Your fucking dna were on her clothes. She described you perfectly. She scratched you, you eventually got caught and your white privilege played a part. What you think you are some hero for texting my sister the location?"
"Can we just go som -"
"That is my name on that door not my father's! You don't get to come in here and try to make amends. There is no fucking amends. I hoped you learned how to fight."
Asher wanted to explain his side. He wanted to apologize and clear the air. He dodged the first hit but the second made him stumble out his office. Jordan hit him again tackling him to the floor of the locker room. Any anger, stress and hurt he felt went into every hit. Each hit was harder than the last. Jordan could feel the blood , he already broke his hand with his stupid face once.
"Yooooo!"
Some of the team ran in with security pulling Jordan off of Asher. He wanted Asher to feel every once of pain he caused Olivia and Simone. He didn't even care that he laid there in a bloody mess. Jordan hadn't realized he slammed Asher's head into the cement. He didn't care about the man's heart condition.
Jordan sat looking at his bruised knuckles in the nurse's office. He didn't feel like he broke his hand. It just fucking hurt like hell that maybe he didn't pay much attention. He accepted the suspension of two weeks without pay. Olivia stood at her brother's island with Spencer staring at Jordan stare off with the television that wasn't even on.
"Think he is going to turn it on?" Spencer asked.
"Nope. Hey big head, did you want something to eat?" Liv called out to her brother.
"Go home. Enjoy the happiness of each other."
" We aren't leaving you like this." She sighed running a hand through her curls.
"Don't worry bout it." He stared at the tv.
"J, I am sure she is fine. She wouldn't want you down like this." Spencer tried.
"Will you two just get out for the love of god."
"Not until you eat something and take a damn shower."
"No and no." Jordan mumbled.
Olivia sighed storming to her brother dragging him off the couch. This was too depressing to watch and she hated to see him like this. She pushed him all the way to his bathroom turning on the shower head.
"Take a damn shower Jordan!"
She knew what he was like when things went to shit and she needed to prevent that. She understood that depression was a bitch but Jordan couldn't keep blaming himself for the actions of others. Simone wouldn't want that for him. The water was cold against his skin. He didn't even notice the tears. It took him a minute before eventually he forced himself to switch the water temperature and complete a shower.
"Are you happy?" His eyes rolled returning in a pair of sweatpants.
"Once you eat something, yes. I ordered sushi."
"Simone loved sushi." Jordan sighed.
"Eat the damn sushi Jordan." Olivia demanded.
He picked at the rolls like a child unsatisfied. Liv smacked her lips stuffing one in his mouth.
"You better chew it! I am not playing with you."
"Well damn Liv." Spencer shook his head watching the shit show between the twins unfold.
"What? He needs to eat. He is just going to be more annoying if he keeps ignoring food."
"If I eat will you two leave?" Jordan blinked.
"No, but eat anyway. Thank you." Liv pinched his cheek.
April 2023
Simone had been doing the work. She attended meetings , she mostly listened. She only shared with her therapist. She wrote and trashed a million and one love letters to Jordan unsure of where to even start. She had missed him more than she imagined. Some days were good and others, it took her a minute but she was better than when she first got here.
"Simone, it's your last day."
"Huh?" She looked up from the coloring book.
It seemed childish, but adult coloring books brought her joy as silly as it sounded. She could easily create something but just having a moment to herself was therapeutic.
"Your time here is done and I have a surprise for you. I think you're really going to like it." Dr. Anderson smiled.
Simone hadn't been keeping up with a calendar. She had been focused on being more present and centering herself that time escaped. She was unsure what to do with herself but she packed her things anyway.
"Olivia, this blind fold is fucking itchy." Jordan was cranky and it showed.
"You better keep it on." She heard him sigh loudly.
Olivia had heard from Amara that Simone was returning. She really couldn't be happier for her friend to have this moment. She knew that Jordan had been the biggest pain but she understood. He was in love even if he didn't say anything. His actions alone spoke volumes that Liv was giddy to do this and take Simone home.
She was so proud of her that it took everything in her not to ruin anything. Everything just took time and nobody knew that better than Olivia.
"Liv..." Jordan growled. He wasn't too keen on surprises.
"Shhhhh." She silenced him. She swatted his hand from his face checking for his girlfriend and the doctor.
Liv ordered her brother to stay put as she jogged to them. Simone was also blind folded which was literally the most adorable thing. Liv grabbed Simone's hands feeling her pull away instantly. Dr. Anderson had to tell her that it was okay.
Liv stopped Simone and ran back to her brother still mumbling to himself about the annoyance of the blind fold.
"I got it, relax damn." She whispered in his ear so Simone couldn't hear her.
The doctor and Olivia removed the respective blind folds. Jordan felt like he short circuited all over again unable to move. Simone couldn't run fast enough , jumping into his arms. His stumble brought him back reality as he felt lighter. He sniffled feeling her petite hands wipe his face.
"Fuck!" He tightened his grip afraid to break his stare.
"Hi." She wiped his face with one hand , giving him a soft smile.
"Hi darling. Are you coming home?" He didn't want to get his hopes and get too excited. Jordan was mentally preparing for disappointment.
"Yes."
It was all Jordan needed to hear. Simone kissed his forehead burying her face into his neck. Instinctively, he rubbed her back afraid to let her go that she might disappear. Liv didn't know whose face was more wet with tears.
"Good because I missed you like crazy."
"He literally went insane." Olivia stated.
"I missed you more."
Simone smiled jumping down smoothing out his shirt. She didn't make it far with trying to hug Olivia. Liv didn't know what she expected. She felt like she was interrupting seeing Jordan kiss her.
"Gross. Will you let her breathe?" She made a face.
Jordan ignored his sister deepening his kiss with Simone. Dr. Anderson handed over Simone's bag to Olivia and wished them good luck knowing it fell on deaf ears. Simone pulled away staring up at him. Jordan took her bag from Olivia throwing it over his shoulder.
"Literally gross. Let's go." She purposely locked arms with Simone just to give her breathing room from her sibling.
Jordan trailed after them with a smile. He found it adorable that after all this time, his sister found someone she actually liked. Any past girlfriend didn't get the Olivia stamp of approval and that said a lot. It was easy for him to say that Simone was one of his favorite people. The hurdle wasn't an easy jump but he knew that even with obstacles if they followed what they wanted out of the relationship then they would be okay.