Did I ever imagine love
to be so all-encompassing?
Even when I acknowledged it to be
all-consuming...?
Oh no, I didn't.
But that didn't stop us
from being here today.
Did it, my enchantress?
It feels like I'm back in time by a few years. To the day when I was pacing, waiting for some news - some positive news - to reach us from behind the closed doors of the hut; if only to let me know that the threat to her life was gone.
It's the same place, the same people. Just my worries are much greater, my guilt much more intensified, as I feel it about something that I'd never even apprehended feeling it for.
Kanha places that same calming hand on my shoulder, but it does nothing to slow down the increasing tempo of my own hammering pulse, the sound of which cuts me off from any other sound of the outer world. Yet, it doesn't reduce the impatient hyperactivity of my senses - waiting to hear even a creak that indicates the opening of the darned closed door.
There's a scream. Not the one that makes hope bloom in my chest like the most colourful of flowers of the most poisonous of weeds; but the one that threatens to wrench my heart right out of my chest. Frightening, maddening and agonizing in the rawest of ways.
Kanha's gentle hand on my shoulder turns restraining, as he sees the unfamiliar fear beginning to manipulate the darkness out of the forbidden crevices of my mind. I myself try my best to not attempt to break the damn door open.
It would be so easy, and so relieving, the darkness whispers encouragingly, but I physically nod my head in negation.
I have given her my word to wait patiently till I hear the one cry that we're all awaiting. And I'll stay true to my word to her.
Well, not so much if she's in actual danger.
And I know that my subconscious is right. She's my first priority - the one person that even the darkness loves with its all. If any harm is to befall her, I frankly couldn't care any less about the rest of the world. It can all go down in shambles and cinders till she's safe.
I take a step towards the door and Kanha's other hand grips my upper arm. I turn to glare at him. He doesn't flinch, though. No one is as used to my flickering moods as him. Most definitely not her. I won't subject her to my own dark side very often.
His navy blue eyes glint with sincerity as he whispers to me, "She's alright."
I know he's not lying. No matter how queer this might sound, but because he's the other person who's heart is mortgaged to my enchantress, it's him that I trust the most in matters concerning her well-being.
Even after the Mathura incident. Ultimately, he only ever has her best in mind.
The two words do calm me down, but only fractionally, and that ember of any semblance of mental peace is doused completely as soon as another scream pierces the air. Every muscle in my body is strained, but I hold back, and keep repeating her words in my head, in a never-ending loop.
"You're not coming in till you're called.", her soft voice sounds stern, even in between the gasps of pain from the on-setting contractions, and I make sure that my grip on her hand is tighter than hers on mine, as I nod my head in a faint but firm affirmation.
The only reason I agreed to this extremely bad idea was because I actually understand the prospect of everyone getting worried about me not letting anyone prioritise the child's health - even during their birth - over hers. And, no matter what, I think I've developed an attachment towards the baby already. Because she loves it. Maybe, more than she'll ever even love me.
It's sad, really. But it's true, and complying to her wish was all that I could do.
So, I keep waiting, fighting the unfamiliar surge of fear, anxiety and rising fury.
I don't know how much longer I've been waiting - for, the rising degree of fear mingled with a rage that threatens to erupt, is probably not the best scale to measure time in - when another scream, with an agonized finality in its tone, almost materializes in thin air, shattering the last semblances of control that I held over my raging mind.
Kanha's grip on my hand loosens, his own fear for the woman we both love, finally - for once - getting the better of him.
But before my hand can touch the door, there's another scream - shrill, piercing through the otherwise calm air - and the mixture of love, anxiety, worry and hope finally explodes in a warm current throughout my being.
The door opens and the woman who's face is a blur through a sheen of unshed tears, somewhat startled by my sudden presence right in front of the door, hesitantly but happily calls me in.
****
Her sweaty face glows like molten gold, radiant even in the grips of exhaustion. Those golden eyes outmatch the glow of her smile with an overwhelming amount of love and absolute adoration as she stares at us with a content but sedate smile. She's beauty incarnate, but the divine creature in my arms is something else altogether.
I stare at him in absolute awe. Just as much in awe of this exceptional creature with my every feature except the brilliant eyes which look like pots of molten gold that he has fortunately inherited from his mother, I'm also in awe of the woman who has created him and gone through excrutiating hours of labour to show him the light of this world.
I'm reminded of the day when I'd first seen her, first been wonder-struck by those eyes. Of the day when I was introduced to the exceptionality of her prowess when she'd taken down a wild liger. Of the day when we'd tied the sacred knot amongst the festivities that the radiance of her face, the sparks from her accidental touches and the warmth of her love had kept me distracted from.
And all I can do is stare, and wonder. Still, I say something as a mischievous grin creeps onto my lips.
"That lady there?", I point at her, as she narrows her eyes at me and my son's huge, curious eyes follow the movements of my fingers, "Beware of her, buddy." She frowns at my antics, and I give her a sultry smirk.
"She got me trapped so bad, and enchanted even worse, that I couldn't even figure out that I was under such a vicious spell. And when I did figure it out, it was too late already."
Our son gifts me with the sound of his first laugh, and my eyes focus wholly on her, just the way his does. I recognize this stare. This look of absolute awe, adoration and appreciation.
"Uh-oh, buddy. I guess it's already too late for you, too."
She laughs, finally, and all those lingering memories of heart-wrenching screams are wiped off of my heart. What remains is just absolute bliss.
This is what parenthood is teaching me on the very first day.
You never know the expanse and intensity of your love, till that one creation that your soulmate gifts you with steps into your world that your soulmate coloured up, and brightens up all those colours.
Guess this is love too. Just as intense. As peaceful. As content.
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Hi dearest readers,
I'm responding to the request after so very long. But, honestly between working on the new books and school, I hardly got any time to write this. Hope this could satiate you lovelies.
I'm always open to more writing requests. I'll be so happy to hear from you all...
~With immense love and gratitude,
Bristi ❤️
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[[WORD COUNT: 1346; DATE: 23/07/2022]]
Dedicated to ardian_shapoover