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'54 - Final Decision'
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'REGULUS ARCTURUS BLACK'
I don't know what I expected her to say, but this was definitely not it.
As I waited for Carina at the library, in our usual location, I thought back to the previous day's events, you know, the letter and all.
It has been difficult to wrap my head around the situation, knowing that we were both somehow, for an unknown reason, stolen of a past that may or may not have been real. She has the better end of the stick, having had this knowledge for longer than I have, she has allowed herself to simmer and think and over analyze the situation.
Me? I've only been aware for a day. That puts my brain at a disadvantage.
So when she approached the table and dropped a new piece of the puzzle right in front of me, I truly did not know what to think or say.
"You've been quiet for way too long." Carina whispered over to me as I stared down at the inked parchment.
"We're in a library, if you haven't noticed." I replied.
"We can change locations if that'll help you actually speak to me." she said, leaning over the table towards me.
Dropping Pandora's letter onto the table, I finally switched my gaze over to her. "Location is perfect, it's the brain that needs time to understand, Carina. You keep dropping these bombs of information on me out of nowhere and expect me to react right away when it took you nearly a week to do the same."
She sighed, leaning backwards into her chair. "You're right, I'm sorry Reggie."
"Reggie?" I questioned her. Since when is that a thing?
"Look," she said, pausing and ignoring my remark completely. "I just think that we should maybe consider, you know, getting the memories back first? And theeen I can give you all the time in the world to simmer."
"Is this all some sort of prank? Part of a bigger scheme? Are you somehow doing all of this to drive me crazy?" I queried, leaning closer to her over the table.
"Yes, Regulus. I have mastered the art of emotional manipulation, storytelling, and learned multiple different handwritings to send fake letters and also enchanted both of us with weird dreams or visions or whatever you want to call it." she replied, waving a frustrated hand at me.
"It sounds exactly like something you would do." I said, trying to sound as playful as possible.
"Does not!" she whisper-exclaimed, somehow quietly, in response.
"Alright, the entire prefect's bathroom incident?" I recalled.
"Oh please, that doesn't count, you were simply at the wrong place at the worst time. I was very opposed of us hiding out in the prefect's bathroom." she argued, her tone switching back to no longer frustrated.
"Fine. Look," I began, sighing. "I don't know how or what to think about all of this, okay? And now, there's more information and I, I can't even begin to imagine what the future will consist of. The diaries? Visions? Connections? Darkness and death? I don't know what to do. I don't know how to handle something of this scale. I mean, what if...what if I don't want to know? What if I don't want to get my past memories back? What if I want absolutely nothing to do with this?" I rambled, watching Carina's face sink as she listened to my speech.
"Oh." she commented after a moment, staring down at the table in thought. "I, I guess I never thought about that. I didn't think you would, um, I guess I never thought of this as a possibility. I figured you would want to find out as much as I did..." she said, sounding slightly confused and disappointed.
"What will you do if I choose not to go through with it?" I asked her in the softest tone I could muster up.
She took a moment to think before looking back up at me. "I would go through with it, whether you're there or not. I just would really want you to be by my side during it all. I don't know what it could hold, but I don't want to go through something so big, alone, and, I just don't think any other person aside from you would be able to understand."
Would it really make a difference? Would it change the way I view my past and present and future? Change the way we view each other? Change my path entirely?
I stared into her eyes. They were only a slight shade lighter than mine. They say people's eyes never lie. And hers were pleading with me to choose this path. She doesn't have to go through it alone. This involves us both.
And whether I like it or not, I'll be dragged into it, regardless.
"Okay. I'll do it." I finally said, watching her face light up from my answer.
"Really?!" she exclaimed, forgetting our location.
"QUIET!" Madam Pince yelled at her from somewhere unknown.
"Do you mean it?" she then asked, leaning over the table again.
"I promise." I replied, truly meaning it.
***
"Are you nervous?" I asked Carina as we stood outside of Professor McGonagall's office.
"A little. You?" she replied, turning her head to look up at me.
"A little." I replied.
In actuality, I'm kind of losing my mind. I can't tell if this is all some weird dream or if I'm being pranked or if this will all turn out to be a fluke or-
I think I'm on the verge of a panic attack.
"We don't have to do this today, we can reschedule." Carina stated in that comforting tone of hers.
"Nope. We agreed today. We're here. If we delay any longer, I may end up not going through with it."
"You'd go back on your promise?"
"No, I would die first, which would simply mean I wouldn't have lived long enough to fulfill it."
She giggled. "I think you're being a little dramatic."
"Laugh at my insecurities, why don't you."
"Your insecurity is death? Which, by the way, makes no sense since you can somewhat control how that plays out."
"And now she's critiquing my insecurities."
Carina laughed just as the door to McGonagall's office opened. "Are you two going to stand here all day?" she questioned us.
"We're not ready yet." Carina answered.
"We need to mentally prepare." I added.
"Yea, could you please close the door." she said to the professor.
"Wha- close the- it's been fifteen minutes since the last time I opened it! You can't stall all night long!" McGonagall expressed.
"Five more minutes." I bargained.
"Besides, it's not like you have anything else going on, right Minnie?" Carina questioned.
"Oh, well of course, I don't. This isn't something you simply do and move on! But the longer you stand there, the more whatever doubts you're having in your brains will grow!" McGonagall stated, sounding slightly exasperated.
"Three minutes." I stated.
"Plus one." Carina added.
"You could've been in there for a half hour now, eating biscuits and lounging on comfortable chairs while you thought it over!" McGonagall huffed.
"Yea, but once we're in there, psychologically it would mean we are ready and then it's just a waiting game of when it will happen and-" Carina rambled.
"Alright, alright. Three minutes!" the professor agreed.
"Four." Carina countered.
"You've lost one, in your rambling." McGonagall said, closing the door to her office.
"I could go for some biscuits." Carina said as we both stared at the now closed door.
"I am tired of standing." I agreed.
"Should we just go for it?" she questioned, glancing up at me.
"We should." I replied, staring straight ahead.
"Alright." she stated.
"Okay." I responded.
"Just, open the door." she said, looking straight again.
"Open the door." I repeated.
"No, you open the door." she said, turning towards me.
"Why do I have to open the door?" I queried, turning to face her as well.
"I don't want to open it." she replied simply.
"And what makes you think I would?" I questioned.
"Well, you're, um, you're braver than me." she answered.
"You're in Gryffindor, you live for that brave shite, it's in your description." I told her, crossing my arms over my chest.
"So? You're like me, in a different font. You guys never get scared." she stated.
"Well, I am now."
"You're scared?"
"Perhaps a little."
"Never did I think Regulus Black would say something like that. That's a first."
"And it will be the last."
"Oh, sure. I believe you."
"Acting as if you're not actively pooping your trousers right now."
She giggled. "Pooping? What are you, six years old? What's with the proper-ness"
"My apologies madame for not being more vulgar in my description of you crapping your trousers."
"Somehow, that was not better."
"Can you make up your mind, already?"
"I'm waiting on you!"
"Don't put all the blame on me, now. You're equally stalling here!"
"Okay and what about it?"
"We can reschedule."
"You just said that-"
The door opened again. McGonagall didn't even say anything this time. She simply stared at us with her arms crossed, waiting, one eyebrow lifted.
Carina and I both looked at each other, silently asking the other if we were ready. With a nod of confirmation from both of us, Professor McGonagall stepped aside, and we entered her office.
Closing the door behind us, she said, "have a seat you two," pointing at the two armchairs in front of her desk.
Carina and I settled ourselves into the chairs, as we waited for, well, I don't know what.
"You could take some time now to think it over." McGonagall said, sitting down in front of us, on the opposite side of the table.
"I think if we take any more time, I'll lose my mind and he'll change his." Carina replied, pointing in my direction.
"Oh, I don't think so." the professor said, leaning back against her chair.
"No, she's right. It's now or never, as cliche as that sounds." I agreed with Carina.
The room was silent. All we could hear was the soft crackling of the fireplace. I glanced over at Carina who was staring down at her hands, fidgeting with them slightly. Sensing my stare, she looked over at me and gave a small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.
Is this truly the right move to make? Should we be following some random letters instruction?
"Alright. How about some tea and biscuits while I go over things?" McGonagall asked, bringing our attention over to her.
"I could go for some biscuits." Carina answered.
***
Now full of tea and biscuits, we were slightly more relaxed. The vibes had shifted for the better and it seemed both myself and Carina were less worried about whatever we were expecting. All the while, McGonagall had been reading through papers of who knows what, waiting for us to finish up.
"Alright. Are we ready?" the professor asked us, looking up from her mess of a desk.
Carina glanced over at me, silently asking the same question. I nodded.
"I would say so." she replied for the both of us.
"Are you both positive? Any final concerns or worries?" McGonagall queried in a soft tone.
"None on my end." I replied, looking at Carina.
"I'm fine too." she confirmed.
"That's good. Well then, I will give you both a brief rundown and then we can head over to the shop." Mcgonagall said, now flipping through some parchment.
After a moment, she found what she was looking for and took a breath before speaking. "Here's how it will go. The vials are located at the book shop, the same one where the letter had come from." she read, glancing up at us briefly. "G will help you find them. The instructions on how to restore said memories will be attached to the vials." she continued.
"So Gerald has them?" Carina asked.
"Well, I should hope so, otherwise, this would all be quite disappointing." the professor replied, taking off her reading glasses. "And seeing as we spent an awful amount of time dallying about, I'd suggest we get going!" McGonagall replied, standing up from her seat.
Carina and I both watched as she walked around her desk, over to the crackling fireplace. She then pulled out a pot full of powder from a secret compartment located underneath a tile right beside the hearth.
I'm assuming it's Floo Powder, if not, then I am very confused by her actions.
"Are you two coming or not?!" Professor McGonagall queried, turning to face us with the pot in hand.
Carina sprung up from her chair. "We're going by Floo?"
"Of course we are, if we take anymore time by walking there, we won't be back until tomorrow!" McGonagall huffed in response as Carina approached her.
"That's a little exaggerated." Carina mumbled, taking a handful of powder into the palm of her hand. She then waited for the professor to cover the old flames of the fireplace before stepping into it. "Uh...where exactly am I going?"
"Oh, right. I believe this time he's called it something in Latin...erudituro? No, that doesn't sound right. Elligenturo? You know what, just to be safe, meet at Rose's Inn." the professor replied, waving a hand dismissively.
"Isn't it a bit late for Rose?" Carina questioned, thinking.
"She'll be fine. Are you stalling?" McGonagall asked her back, one hand on her hip now as the other still held the powder pot.
"...No." Carina answered, clearing her throat. She took a deep breath in. "Three Broomsticks Inn!" she enunciated as clearly as she could before throwing the floo powder down and erupting into green flames, disappearing from the room.
McGonagall turned to me with a raised eyebrow. Understandable, seeing as I was still in one of the armchairs. Gulping nervously, I stood and walked over to her, grabbed a palm full of powder and positioned myself into the fireplace just as Carina had.
Salazar help me. I can't remember the last time I had traveled via floo.
The professor must've noticed my nerves since the next words she spoke to me were, "breathe in, then enunciate. You must say Three Broomsticks Inn, very clearly. It will only be a few seconds and you're on the other side! Nothing to worry about dear." she said, using her softest, calm sounding voice.
It's fine. Only a few seconds. I'll be there in a split second! Unless I end up being split...no Regulus. Just, turn your brain off. Okay, breathing in. Breathing out. Once more. Breathing in. Breathing out.
Breath in. "Three Broomsticks Inn!"
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