"Cassie! What is Anna Brooks doing in our house?" Abi exclaimed, snapping me out of my long trance of staring at Anna's alarmed face.
Nervously darting my eyes between the two parties, I contemplated what I should say. I hadn't planned for this to happen. Anna was never meant to be found. She was supposed to stay hidden in our guest bedroom until her nine months were up and after I'd never see her again as she promised.
Yet here we are in this truly unexpected and infuriating situation which I had no clue how to solve.
"I-I... she... s-she..." I stuttered, furrowing my brows. How was I going to get out of this?
"I'm pregnant."
Looking up I shot a menacing glare at Anna. What was she doing? Was she actually going to tell the truth? I didn't know how I felt about that.
"Excuse me?" Harry demanded, walking into the room with his hands on his hips and a murderous expression.
"I'm pregnant and Cassie has been hiding me in this room and giving me food and water so I'm not on the streets." She said. Although her confession was simple and blunt her tone of voice was definitely not. The tremors coming out of her throat were so evident I could practically see the nerves radiate out of her. That was most likely because my siblings might kick her out.
I might kick her out depending on how this situation goes.
Harry and Abi both looked at me, their chocolate brown eyes perplexed, shocked and most of all begging me it's not true. That it couldn't be.
"Is this true?" The brittle harshness of my brother's voice reduced me to shame. I lowered my head and nodded slowly. "I don't understand, you hate her! Why would you help her?"
"I don't know." I admitted realising it was the truth. I didn't have enough courage to speak above a whisper.
"Cassie, this can't be true." Abi whispered, choking slightly on the words. "She can't be having a baby in our house."
"She's only staying here till she has the baby, then we'll never see her again. Right Anna?" I confirmed, looking over at the girl I hated and thinking over what I'd actually done for her.
I saved her when she would have been on the streets. I saved her from living in the abandoned village hall whilst being pregnant without medication or any sort of care. For all I know she would have had that baby right there in the empty hall and died from infection or worse.
"Yes." She replied, wiping away a static hair from her eyes.
"How long?" Said Harry tautly, conspicuously looking over Anna with disgust as if wondering how the bitch at school had been reduced to this helpless, homeless pregnant teenager.
At the end of the day that was what she was. I would never see her that innocently or ever forgive her for what she did but Anna needed help and no one else would give it to her.
"She's five and a half months into her pregnancy. I've been hiding her for the past two."
They gasped.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you but I had to. It had to stay a secret." I continued hating that I was the one apologising when it should be her.
"Do people at school know?" Abi asked, walking towards Anna and looking over the bump of her stomach as if it was an alien. Anna shrunk away slightly and flinched as Abi attempted to touch the growing baby.
"Only Corey and George." I muttered watching the situation unfold before me. "But they'll realise soon." I pointed towards her stomach.
Anna was somewhat protective of her bump, clutching it with her hands and turning away from my sister. Hurt crossed Abi's features but she pursed her lips and tried again to approach Anna and failed as she yet again moved away from her reach.
"Zoe does too. I told her what was happening to me and she dumped me. I should have never believed it was possible to have true friends." Anna said quietly, gulping loudly. I could tell she was just as nervous about their reaction as I was.
"Yeah well you are a heartless bitch." I said before I could stop myself. I didn't regret it but the timing wasn't right to have a fight now.
Seeing her seal her lips, I realised she was holding back an insult; most likely because she didn't want to put a bad impression on my siblings.
"Harry?" Abi looked over at her scowling twin, his eyebrows drawn together in concentration as he calculated what his reaction should be.
He snapped out of his daze and met eyes with Abi. They did that weird telepathic twin thing, a silent conversation I couldn't decipher.
"She can stay." He finally said, looking over to me before glaring at Anna. "But if you cause any trouble like you do at school, smoke in the house or if Cassie wants you out - you're out!"
She nodded her expression slightly relieved before going back to the blank emotionless mask she always wore in our house. I don't know what this pregnancy has done to her but I was just as creeped out by her silence as I was relieved. It was so nice having the past two and a half months without any disputes with Anna. Until now.
"Mum can't know." I added, as they both retreated out of the room past me.
They turned around. "We know. We won't tell her but I don't like this Cassie. I really don't." Said Harry and walked away into his room.
"I understand why you did this Cass." Abi now spoke, her eyes sympathetic as she glanced back to the girl in the room. "I'd want someone to do this for me if it came to it but I agree with H. I don't like this. I don't like her."
I nodded in understanding as she hopped downstairs so they could catch their bus into town. It was as I turned around to look at Anna that I realised something very shocking.
I stuck up for her. Her, the girl who brought so much shit and trauma into my life. My life that has been forever changed because of Anna. Anna Brooks my enemy who is pregnant and hiding in my house.
Suddenly, I was livid. One: for her to be so reckless and carelessly being found. Second: at myself for just being so weak.
Was this close to forgiveness?
No, never.
I hadn't taken any time to think about Anna in my house or her situation because thinking about her meant thinking about that night. That night meant thinking about Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve meant thinking about Josh.
Josh.
My head hurt and my legs felt weak but I wouldn't cry. I wouldn't cry.
"What the fuck was that?" I demanded once Harry had emerged from his bedroom and hurried downstairs to meet his sister. "How did they find you?"
She looked away. "I was going to shower and I can't move very fast so... I swear I heard them go downstairs when I opened the door."
"Well obviously you didn't hear properly because they fucking found you!" I yelled. Stupid girl. I should have known it would have ended like this. Now I would look more like an idiot for housing my enemy.
"Okay! I get it! Your siblings found me but they're okay with it so it's not the end of the world!" She shouted back, standing up on shaky legs. It was obvious her bulging belly was weighing her down.
"You fucking idiot! That's not the point! The point is that now they know that I'm hiding you here and they'll think I like you when I most definitely don't!" I screamed, stalking towards her until our faces were mere millimetres apart. Fury pulsed in my blood and I didn't even know what it was that was causing it to be so vicious. Perhaps simply a build-up of many horrid events I've had to endure because of her.
"Cassie I don't give a shit what you think of me!" She yelled back, her face reddening more by the minute.
"Well I do actually give a shit about what people think of me thinking about you!" I didn't even know if that made sense but I didn't care. "Why would you be so fucking careless?"
"The only one who's careless is you, bitch! You should have warned me they were up and about the house if you were that fucking bothered about it!"
She was testing my patience now.
"Anna for one moment would you just stop being so fucking self-centred! I'm doing you a fucking good thing here when you have treated me like shit and made me go through shit ever since that pathetic comment I made in year nine! And now, you still try to turn everything on me when I'm doing you a favour!"
She shut her mouth, pursed her lips as rage lit up her dull greens to spiteful vivid emeralds. "You deserved everything you got."
I haltered. She haltered.
"D-Did you actually just say that to me?" I asked breathlessly. She neared closer noticing she'd hit a fragile subject, a sensitive nerve and was going to push until it broke.
"Yes. I. Did." She sounder out as if every syllable she spoke was satisfying to say.
My breath caught and my heart raced. Images started flashing like faulty lights and I began to feel very dizzy.
"Y-You don't know what they did do you?" I mused not necessarily to her. If she knew what happened she wouldn't have said that.
She wouldn't have said that.
You deserved everything you got.
"Of course I know what they did!" She exclaimed but by my reaction I could tell she was unconvinced by her own knowledge.
But that wasn't what my attention was focused on. I was busy trying to stay standing and make out a pair of real eyes from the spherical discs swirling around in a blur of khaki. The grey of her t-shirt was bleeding into the hazy edges of my visions. All I could see was a messy canvas of colours.
Nothing made sense.
My ears popped, losing their ability to hear and my limbs suddenly felt like heavy weights. Arms like lead pipes, legs concrete blocks: I was falling.
Falling.
I choked, gasping for breath.
"A never said we couldn't fuck her first right?" His hot breath made my skin prickle as his lips sweeped my neck.
"Get off me!" I shrieked and pushed back against his chest, trying to use the time to slip out of his grasp and away from here.
The dull ache in my shoulder burned as it felt the pressure of collapsing on the floor. I'm sure my head must be rolling around because everything was spinning. The fright from that night returned to haunt me like watching a movie of the abuse.
I had time to free myself but as soon as I'd made one move to leave he took my waist in his large hands and violently slammed me back against the wall. Sharp pains erupted down my back and head. There was no escape.
"Don't you ever try to pull a trick like that on me!" He shouted in a voice that could start earthquakes, I shut my eyes in fear and started sobbing.
"No, no please don't!" I cried, using my hands to press into my eyes as if doing so would take the visions away. "Get out of my head! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!"
"Boys, leave!" He howled at the other guys who shrugged and left the room. Now it was just him and I.
I silently cried, fearing to look into his terrifying eyes. I knew what was about to happen, there was no one here to save me.
"Please, don't," I whispered but his hands already were taking off my t-shirt and unzipping my jeans. "Please, I'll do anything. I'll give you money?"
"Money won't save you now," His cold voice spat. I gulped and tried to swallow back a large sob. "Let's have some fun, sweetheart,"
A shrill cry parched the back of my throat, breaking every bone in my body trembling, every piece of glass in the universe shattering as the agony i'd felt coursed through me again. I knew it didn't really hurt, I wasn't really in pain but for some reason these flashbacks made me feel it all over again on a loop. Every second, every feeling, every word said was infused on my brain like a tattoo I couldn't remove.
My body was frozen and oblivious to the abuse I was receiving. My legs couldn't move, my limbs lamely stuck to my sides.
I could cry, but no one would hear me.
"Don't do it! Please, I beg you! Don't touch me! SOMEBODY!"
His hands slid up my leg in a disturbing manner, my skin crawling at his touch.
"No, no, no. please don't. Please, I beg you!" I screamed as tears streamed down my face.
Instead the man smirked. At a closer look I noticed that he wasn't actually bad looking. His dirty blonde hair was what girls older than me would see as rough and sexy but I saw it as a greasy nest of thorns. His teeth were straight and clean but had a yellow tint like he'd been smoking for years. There were muscles like the hulk underneath his t-shirt which was unwillingly being pulled off him.
I knew exactly what was going to happen next.
"GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT! GET OUT! HELP, PLEASE HELP ME! Please... please help me..."
And then darkness.
*
George
The melodic tune of my ringtone vibrated in my pocket, startling me from my reading.
"Hello?" I answered, not bothering to check the caller ID which I usually did in case it was Cassie.
"George, you have to come over now- shit, argh... fuck, Cassie wake up!"
It was Anna and right now she was scaring me to a whole new extent just at the mention of Cassie's name. If those two were together something definitely had happened. Abruptly sitting up, my book and previous school work toppling to the floor, I began sliding on my Converse.
"Anna, what's going on?" I demanded, hearing shrill cries and blood-curling screams on the other line.
"I don't know, she collapsed and she can't breathe! Shit, George come over for fuck sakes I don't know what to do!" She cried. I could hear Cassie on the other line screaming words I vaguely heard as 'get out...'
And then nothing.
Silence.
"What happened?" I asked, already clicking in my seatbelt and pulling out of my drive. My heart was thundering in my chest at the uneasiness for Cassie's safety.
"I don't know, fuck, I don't know." Anna muttered. I placed my phone in the GPS holder so I could still talk and drive. "I think she blacked out."
I beat my hand on the handle of the steering wheel.
"Anna what the fuck did you do!" I commanded, gritting my teeth to not scream. She must have stirred something up for Cassie to react in this way. My Libellule was strong, only something could have been said to put lead her to pass out.
"I don't know." The lie was so evident I could have touched it with my hand.
"Ah, fuck Anna you idiot. Make sure the door is open, I'll be ten minutes."
As I drove through the narrow, twisty country roads to reach Cassie's house I ran through all the scenarios in my head until they became so horrid I couldn't bear to think without punching the side of my car.
The drive was shorter than I expected - probably because I'd spent so much time calculating how to help my girl in whatever situation she was in right now than actually pay attention to the road.
Sprinting up the driveway, I crashed through the open front door and ran up the first flight of stairs expecting her to be in her room. I didn't expect Cassie to be lying unconscious in the guest bedroom Anna was living in.
"Cassie?" I whispered and slowly approached her trembling form.
It was a horrid sight. Her body was slumped on the ground like she'd fallen, a swelling on her head telling me she's bashed it against the ground. Her limbs were curled around herself like protection, her face screwed up into tightly sealed eyes and hunched shoulders barricading her neck.
Mutters sounded from her, short, gaspy breaths like whispers. Every word was filled with fear and defence. Only she was defenceless.
I knew then as she mumbled the words 'please, don't do it' that she was either having a flashback or a nightmare about that night she was raped.
That had been Anna's doing. I wasn't sure whether she intended for it to get so violent and out of control but it was her who initiated it.
As if on cue, her head peeped out from around the corner like she'd been hiding there. I shot her a murderous glare.
I was quite protective of Anna after knowing what goes on at home and I did truly feel sympathy for her but the way she acted out and made other people feel like shit too had me leaning away from that empathy. Without thinking about consequences she always pushed it too far. Like now.
"Go away, Anna. This is your fault." I spat. I was protective of Cassie more than I'd ever been of Anna. Probably because I cared for her so much more and I felt uncontrollable, indescribable emotions around her. Maybe it was because even after everything Anna's been through Cassie's been through worse. And it was Anna's doing.
"I-I don't..." She muttered pathetically. Usually she wouldn't be this weak and vulnerable around people, but with me she tended to show her true self.
"Piss off!"
Cassie was turning a ghastly shade of blue now, her lip quivering between her teeth as if fighting a scream. Gently, I leaned over and placed my hand on her shoulder. Immediately she winced, flinching away and crying out a little. It pained me so much to see her distressed but I needed to be calm.
She needed me to be calm.
"Cassie? Libellule?" I cooed, stoking her shoulder and watching as she relaxed a little at my persistent touch. "It's okay, it's okay."
She was still muttering words under her breath but her posture slackened and I could almost see her melting into the floor.
Laying down facing her, I brushed away pieces of fallen hair away from her eyes and tucked them behind her ear.
"...don't... please... I beg you..."
Knowing that's what she would have said at the time of her trauma forced me think like a murderous beast that I didn't know if I could tame. Fuckers. Absolutely sick bastards that deserve to be tortured and buried alive.
"George, what's happening to her?"
I turned around and scowled. "Why are you still here?" Spitting the words out allowed me to rid myself of some of the rage inside.
"I just... I'm sorry." She said pathetically. Anna hardly apologised to anyone but in this instant it meant nothing; I knew she wasn't really sorry. Otherwise, she would have never said anything in the first place.
I turned back around to Cassie and cupped her cheek. Her skin was ice cold but still as soft as usual, breaking out in Goosebumps at the contrast of my warm hands.
"Wake up Cassie. It's okay, I'm here. Please wake up, please stay with me." I whispered whilst tucking my arm underneath her upper body to ease her up to sitting. She wriggled a little but allowed me to lift her up, her half-conscious body heavy as she drooped against my side. "There we go."
Stirred by the movement Cassie's eyes fluttered open a little, her amber orbs clouded with fright. Instantly as she saw my face she pushed back and struggled out of my grasp. Unfortunately for her I happen to have a very strong hold.
"Cassie, it's okay. It's okay. Breathe. Breathe. You're safe here now. It's me: George. You're safe. Relax." I said clearly and carefully looping my arms around her middle and pulling her up onto my lap.
She resisted for a few moments before acknowledging the warm of my body compared with hers and snuggled down against it.
Soundlessly, she fell slump against my chest. Seconds later I heard gut wrenching sobs that shook me right through and felt a wet puddle forming on the scruff of my t-shirt.
She was crying.
"Oh baby, it's alright. You're safe with me. Just breathe through it. Just breathe."
She was panting, gasping in short choked breaths and meanwhile letting out those types of sobs that I knew led to extreme vomiting and depression.
Cassie told me that our kiss had been the first time she'd cried in four years. Four years! I don't know what they told her down in that whorehouse cell but it must have been something callous to prevent her from crying again after everything that happened. They probably threatened to cut off her hand or something along those lines.
Maybe now I knew what happened it meant she could finally let out her feelings. Her real feelings and emotions - the ones she hides from everyone else like this fear.
I rubbed circles into her back and let my steady breaths blow down her neck in an effort to calm her down but nothing seemed to work. Her heart was speeding, her whole body giving way to unconsciousness again and her tears evidence that she was truly not alright.
My Cassie. My dragonfly. My Libellule.
I wished I could absorb some of her suffering, take away the hurt and the pain and the memories that plagued her mind constantly just so she could have a little relief. It was an impossible dream.
Looping her arms around my neck for her, I hooked my own underneath her legs and gradually stood up before carrying her bridal style to her bedroom.
I didn't even wonder where Anna went, I just wanted to make sure my girl was okay, but the more I thought about it the more I realised she never would be completely okay.
Cassie had been through serious, traumatic shit but that baggage didn't bother me. What bothered me was that those fuckers were still alive and Cassie was the one dying.
She sniffled, and rested her head against my shoulder, her sobs getting louder and louder by the minute. Her eyes were sealed shut; I was worried that doing so she was experiencing that night four years ago and Christmas Eve so clearly all over again.
If it was Christmas Eve, Josh Marsh wouldn't see daylight ever again.
"Shh." I cooed softly, before laying her down on her own bed.
The covers cushioned her fall as she wilted away from my support. But quickly, I slid underneath her and cradled her body so she could rest her head against my chest.
Even though her eyes had opened I don't think she was fully conscious. She was trapped in one of those horrible nightmares were she woke up screaming.
"... please... don't... don't touch me..."
"Shh, it's okay Cassie. Stay with me, don't let it pull you back in." I said, as she continued to sob. They were growing louder by the minute. Her trembles shaking more violently by the second. She was a prisoner to the jail of the memories.
"... don't touch me... get off... DON'T TOUCH ME..."
Her sudden shrieks broke through the soft whispers causing me to bolt upwards, tagging her along so she could sit up properly. She clutched at my t-shirt, which was soaked through in the middle, and fisted the material in her hands, clinging on for dear life.
"... please... please..."
Every ounce of her pain coursed through my own chest. I could feel everything she felt.
I sat her up better on my lap so I could swing her legs over the side of the bed. Edging myself over to the end, I placed my feet on the floor and tightly pulled her into an embrace, stroking her head to soother her.
But, again, nothing was working.
Cassie continued to cry violently and noisily and her body continued to shudder.
"... don't do it Josh... please... what are you doing..."
Josh. The little fucker had woven himself into her hallucination too. I will kill him.
"...NO..."
And then silence.
She stopped crying. She stopped speaking. She stopped altogether.
I couldn't even hear her breathing.
"Cassie?" I sang softly, running my hands over back repetitively. "Libellule?"
I waited five painful seconds until she gasped again breathing in heavily.
Thank God.
"Look at me," I said and used my hand to tilt her chin upwards so I could meet her eyes. "Open your eyes, Cassie. It's George, you're okay. You're gonna be okay."
As if on cue her velvety lashes twitched then the lids of her eyes lifted up.
"...w-who?" She breathed not truly seeing. I understood that her vision was cloudy, I could see it now that all she could see were those nights.
"George." I said, brushing my fingers over her glacial cheeks.
"G-George?"
"Yeah, it's me Libellule."
Then came even more sobs.
"I... I-I can't g-get them out..." She muttered with spite digging her nails into my shoulders, huge droplets of water running down her face, reddening her eyes.
"I know it's hard but you have to fight Cassie. You are strong, you can do this don't let them take control of you."
"B-But... I c-can't b-breathe..."
It didn't take an idiot to figure out she was having a panic attack so I held onto her hands and squeezed them reassuringly.
"Breathe deeply in. Breathe deeply out." She was on the brink of hyperventilation and I knew I had to calm her down before she passed out again.
She was staring at me but she wasn't truly present. She was lost in the flashback. Heaving, her chest moved upwards and downwards so rapidly it was tiring just to watch.
"Cassie, you have to calm down, okay. Slowly, slowly breathe. Slowly. That's it." I watched as she sluggishly slowed her heart rate, but her breaths still came out shallow and gaspy.
It took several minutes for her to pull out of the attack and steady her breathing, but she was still trembling and crying violently. Meanwhile, I whispered encouraging words and rubbed her back to soothe her.
I hated seeing her like this because she was in extreme mental pain and I couldn't do anything other than hold her.
It made me feel useless, but at the same time I knew if she didn't cry like this to me she'd go back to drinking and smoking and I didn't want that. I didn't want my girl hurting herself.
"I-I'm s-so sor-rry..." She whimpered her tears falling in buckets down her cheeks. I quickly kissed them away.
"Don't ever be sorry for this Cassie." I said. It was far from her fault. "Cry all you want, baby, I'm here okay?"
She sniffled and shook her head, loosening her grip on my t-shirt and attempting to pull away but she didn't get that far. I tightening my clutch around her waist.
"No, Cassie. You have to stop running. I'm here for you okay, and I'm not leaving. You've being dying on the inside for so long but you don't have to run anymore so please, please just let me in. Don't bury away all your pain because I can see it no matter how hard you hide it." I said strongly.
I had a strong knowing that this attack wasn't just because the flashbacks mixed with Christmas Eve. I think this attack was a build up of four years of silent suffering she bottled up and Christmas Eve just tipped the edge and now she couldn't control or hide it.
"I-I don't want-t you to s-see me like this-s..." She whispered, her voice think from her sobs.
"Libellule, I don't care. I want all of you. The happy. The sad. Your tears. Your pain. Your joy. All of it. So I don't care if you cry your eyes out on my shoulder for the next ten years - just don't shut me out."
She cried out quietly and nodded before looping her arms around my torso and nestling her face into my shoulder. Tears splashed against my skin but I didn't care I just wanted her to be and feel safe.
That's all I'll ever want.
*
"What happened George?"
Anna's head popped up as I exited the bathroom. She was red in the face and purely guilty.
I sighed - I couldn't stay mad at her forever but she deserved the silent treatment for a while. So I walked in the opposite direction.
"George, what happened? Why was she like that?" She pleaded following me down the hall.
I whipped my body around, crossed my arms and shot her a glare. "I'll tell you what happened when you tell me what you said to hurt her like that."
Anna gulped, skittishly looking left, right, up, down.
I waited patiently, tapping my foot on the carpet while she pondered how to get out of the sticky situation.
"I don't know George."
"Bullshit." I snapped and turned around away from the girl that put Cassie in that panic attack.
"Wait, I might have told her she deserved what she got." She said slowly as I turned around and narrowed my eyes suspiciously.
"You what?!" I spat, looming towards her. Thankfully, I was a head and a half taller than her so looking intimidating wasn't a problem.
"I just..."
"No, tell me what she deserved Anna." My teeth were grinding against each other in anger.
"You know, about four years ago I just asked some guys to go talk to her."
She was really wearing down my patience now.
"And what did they say? What did they do?"
She shrugged. "It wasn't much. I asked them to get it into her head that I wasn't to be messed with. I don't know why it's effecting her so much, they only talked to her."
So she didn't know. Cassie told me that she left the hospital whilst Anna was still unconscious and she was passed out from an overdose when she was raped so that would make sense. I guess those guys took it way too far...
"I wasn't there George. I don't know what they said to her."
No shit. You were too busy dying and selfishly ordering an innocent girl to be 'talked to'. As if that was ever going to be the only thing they did.
"You're lucky then." And with that I stormed back up to Cassie's room.
*
Cassie
Everything that just happened was a blur. I didn't know what had been real or hallucinated. A vision from that night or Christmas Eve. In the end they all just blended into one colossal horror show.
Currently I was lying on my back staring at the ceiling, my eyes unblinking. The images had dulled now thanks to George, but they were still there infused in the back of my mind constantly haunting me. George pulled me out of... whatever that was and offered me so much sanctuary, but I couldn't take it. I just couldn't.
I didn't want to lose him, not now especially since I was beginning to admit my emotions. I knew this was going to get so much worse and I didn't want him to be around to see me like this. After a while he'd get tired of me and my nightmares and he wouldn't want to speak to me anymore.
I'd rather just swallow the pain and show him my less depressing side.
I wasn't sure where he was. After waking up from my nap the other side of the bed where he'd held me until I fell asleep was empty - a George sided dent left as a reminder in the covers.
It felt so cold without him. My sunshine was gone.
You deserved everything you got.
Don't think about it Cassie. Don't think about it. She's a heartless bitch, you should just kick her out now.
But if I was thinking that after everything she did why was she still in my house? Maybe because subconsciously I knew that if the positions were reversed I'd want to know my baby and myself were safe. That's who i'm doing this for; not Anna, not Corey, the baby.
Baby. That's what George called me. He wouldn't say that if he didn't care, right? I should probably stop kidding myself that it was true but a part of me deep inside were inclined to believe him.
"How are you feeling?"
I didn't even recoil at his unexpected voice. Nothing seemed to surprise me anymore.
Instead of answering I shifted myself onto my side, turning away from him. I should have known he wouldn't leave.
His arms slipped around my waist and he cradled my body against his own from behind. I tensed a little then relaxed once I reminded myself it was George, not Josh or anyone else.
"It's only going to get worse George, I promise. You'll get tired and leave so don't stick around to make it harder for me." I finally mumbled, staring blankly at the wall.
"How many times to I have to tell you, Libellule? I'm not going anywhere."
I felt his soft lips press to the back of my neck causing me to let out a heavy sigh which I instantly regretted.
"Please George, it'll hurt more." I begged with strain. I wanted him to stay but I knew he wouldn't.
"What's hurting you is suffering alone. That ends now. Now you have me to cry on or to talk to or to not talk to at all." He whispered, picking at my hair and drawing patterns over my t-shirt on my stomach. The motion was soothing. "I have an idea of what can make you feel better, but only if you're up for it."
"What's that?" I replied meekly. Nothing could make me feel better. Only vodka, a cigarette, a high...
"Let's run."