Kabanata 13: Fear
"Masyado na kayong pinagchi-chismisan ng mga tao rito. Pati sa faculty, kayo ang laman." Bungad ni Cassie nang makapasok ako sa classroom. "Kalat na rin sa buong eskwelahan ang nangyari kay Ms. Carson."
"Mabuti na lang at hindi naidadawit ang pangalan ni Ms. Carson patungkol sa kung anong nangyari sa inyo ni Rich." Sambit naman ni Shaina at tumabi na sa akin. "If your name merged with Ms. Carson's name, it will cause more danger than you being the talk of the town with Rich."
"I agree with Shai. For now, be extra careful with your actions. Masyadong mabango ang pangalan niyo sa buong eskwelahan. Isang maling galaw mo lang at paniguradong makakarating 'yon sa may-ari ng eskwelahang pinapasukan natin." Sabi ni Cassie na may halong pag-aalala.
Tahimik lang ako mamula nang magsimula ang klase hanggang sa magtapos ito sa oras ng tanghalian. Mabuti naman at ramdam nila Shai at Cassie na ayaw ko muna magsalita. Hindi na rin muna pala pumasok si Rich para may kasama si Tita Melanie na nagbabantay kay Ms. Carson. For now, I still don't have any update kung anong lagay ni Ms. Carson ngayon.
Kasalukuyan kaming nasa cafeteria, kumakain nang pananghalian. Bawat estudyante ay napapalingon sa akin. Before, I was a total random student but now, everything changed. I am already the talk of the town. Some were happy with Rich's speech and some were holding grudges.
Well, who I am to give a fuck?
"Alam niyo ba, patay na 'yung Mayor na siya raw nang-harass kay Ms. Carson?" Rinig naming kwento nung isang Prof sa katabi naming lamesa. "Ang sabi pa, nabugbog daw ito hanggang sa mamatay. Sa katunayan, bali-balita na si Mr. Carson daw ang nag-utos para patayin ang Mayor." Pagtatapos niya.
"Hay nako, huwag kang magbitaw ng salita nang wala kang ebidensya. Baka mawalan ka ng trabaho kapag may nakarinig sa 'yo," suway naman ng isang Prof na kasama nila.
"Sir, walang kaaway na ibang politiko ang Mayor at—"
"Ma'am, tumahimik ka na. Meron si Mr. Carson." Muling suway sa kaniya.
Napatingin naman ako sa direksyon ng papalapit na si Mr. Carson. Ramdam na ramdam talaga ang ma-awtoridad nitong aura. His serious face makes everyone shiver and make him a way to walk into. Sinundan ko lang siya ng tingin hanggang sa tumapat ito sa akin.
"Akerson, I want to talk to you in private." He plainly said and walked out from my sight.
Nabalik lang ako sa aking diwa nang sikuin ako ni Cassie. She pouted and gestured I must go after him with her lips. Tinignan ko si Shai at tumango lang ito sa akin. Tumayo na ako at namaalam sa kanila.
I walked silently behind Mr. Carson. Thinking of how serious he was earlier, I know what we're gonna talk about later. I just hope that I can lift my head and answer all the possible query about her and not making any mistake.
Bigla akong kinabahan nang makapasok kami sa mismong office ni Mr. Carson. His office has contemporary style with black, bluish gray, and white color palettes. I stood in front of his desk. My eyes landed on him. He seat neatly on his swivel chair.
"What is your relation to my daughter?" He asked.
"She's my prof—"
"Do you think I would call you here just to hear that answer?" He cut off my words. I gulped as his eyes got sharpen. He lean backward and crossed his arms. "What do you want from my daughter?"
"What do you mean, Sir?" I asked, confused.
"I can't see any reason why you have Elionhir with your side aside from money and fame." He directly said it to me. I got offended. It's off guard. "Based on how you look and your status in life right now, you're just a random student that lacks on representation. Powerless. So, how much would it costs you to stay away from Elionhir?"
My system raged in fire as I heard him degrading my life. I want to slap him real hard on his face to see who's powerless between us. "I may not be powerful as you but I'm not powerless. I can take away your daughter whenever I want. I'm her freedom and you are her cage. Between us, you do not have power to your daughter." I bursted in anger and hatred to this old man. "And, your money wouldn't afford me. I'm too pricey that even your soul can't afford."
He slammed hard his desk and stood up. Lumapit ito sa akin at bumulong. "You're just nothing compared to me. Watch your mouth, young lady. I can fully take your life whenever I want."
I wanna throw deleterious words to him but suddenly someone knocked. Lumayo ito nang kaunti sa akin at masamang tumingin sa akin. I escaped a deep sighed. Pinapasok niya ang isa sa mga dean ng eskwelahan niya.
I faked a smile and excused myself. Nakahinga ako nang maluwag nang makalabas ako sa office ni Mr. Carson. I got frustrated by his words. How can he be so evil while his daughter is an opposite of his personality? He's disgusting. Degrading people who's not align to his status.
Dumiretso ako sa garden at inubos ang oras para kumalma. Naka-ilang message na rin pala sina Cassie at Shai sa akin, tinatanong kung ano ang pinag-usapan namin ni Mr. Carson at kung nasaan ako. Io-off ko na sana ang phone ko nang lumabas sa screen ang number ni Ms. Carson.
"What do you feel now? You alright?" Bungad ko. Narinig ko lang ang tawa niya. "Don't laugh at me." I said in serious tone.
"How are you?" I stunned for awhile. My anger vanished like it never painted my nerves. "Hey, you still there? I'm sorry for acting like that that night. I didn't know what was gotten into my mind and acted like a jealous kid who just wanted what was hers to be hers only. Kyrie, I hope I didn't ruin my connections to you. But, I meant what I said to Rich." She enunciated continuously.
I escaped a deep sigh. "I'm fine that I can go to school but not totally. Elionhir, I appreciated your words. And, to my reply, you didn't ruin your connections with me." Suddenly, Mr. Carson words came back to me. I gently shook my head and continue having a convo with her. "Kagigising mo lang ba? How do you feel now? Have you eaten your lunch?"
She chuckled. "Chill, I'm all fine now. Kanina pa ako gising. I wanna contact you kanina and to update you pero class hours so paniguradong hindi mo agad-agad mababasa. I'm done with my tasteless lunch."
"Sira," and we both laughed. "Seriously, sino kasama mo diyan?" I asked.
"A chix nurse. Know what, Kyrie? She has a big booty and a big futu—"
I hanged up and rolled my eyes. I don't wanna hear some nonsense words to her. Bumaba na ako para hanapin ang dalawa. May mangilan-ngilan na napapasulyap sa akin na mga estudyante. Ang iba nama'y nagtataka dahil paniguradong nasaksihan nila ang paglapit sa akin ni Mr. Carson.
Nang matagpuan ang dalawa. Dali-dali kaming nagtungo sa susunod naming klase. Hindi na sila nagtanong pa kung ano ang pinag-usapan namin ni Mr. Carson dahil ramdam nila ang kakaiba kong presensya.
Sa buong maghapon, tanging pakikinig lang ang ginawa naming lahat. No activities, no stress. Rich insisted na if ever I wanna visit Ms. Carson, just message him and magsasabay na kami. I also take an absent to my work for me to have a night with Ms. Carson.
Pagkauwi ko sa bahay, naabutan ko si Elysha na nasa salas at nanonood.
"What did Mr. Carson tell you?" She asked with looking at me.
I bit my lower lip. "It's about Ms. Carson—"
"Ky, I'm confused. Are you torn between them?"
"I'm not," mabilis kong depensa.
"You shouldn't, Ky. Both are roses with thorns but..." she paused and turned-off the TV. Tumayo ito at tumingin sa akin. "one has poisonous thorn and one has none. You will hurt and that's expected. But one takes forever and one is temporary. Choose your flower." She ended and left me dumbfounded.
Saktong 8PM ako sinundo ni Rich. I was surprised because his actions were like before. I didn't feel awkward with him. He started to tell me stories and theories. I was just listening to him and I did share him some theories that I know. We laughed at each others jokes until we were already at the hospital.
Naabutan namin si Tita Melanie na nagbabalat ng apple. May dala na nga rin pa lang dinner si Rich. Bigla akong nahiya dahil wala man lang akong dala para sa kanila.
"Who are you?" I mentally rolled my eyes. "I said, who are you?"
"Stop those nonsense words of yours, Elionhir." I plainly said.
"Where's my gift?" Tanong nito na ikinakunot ng noo ko. "You don't have a gift for me? Ouch..." she held her chest and acted like she was hurt.
I stood beside her and flicked her in the forehead. "Mama, oh!" Sigaw nito at natawa lang si Tita Melanie. "It hurts you know?" She rolled her eyes and pouted. "Am I cute?"
My eyes widened and my brows lifted. "Excuse me?" I crossed my arms.
"Excuse you?" She imitated my voice that's why I flicked her again in the forehead causing her to whimper. "How's school? How's your day without seeing me the whole day?"
Naupo na ako sa tabi niya. "It's actually a relief. I started my day without your cringe jokes, your annoying presence... your melting stares," I whispered the last three words that made her smile a bit. "Just... just stop putting yourself in trouble. Basagulero ka pa naman."
She chuckled. "Self defense po tawag do'n, misis ko." She whispered afterwards.
"Tama na 'yang bulungan niyong dalawa. Halina't kumain muna kayo." Tawag ni Tita Melanie sa amin.
Tumayo na ako at humakbang.
"Akerson, aren't you going to help me?" Rinig kong sambit ni Ms. Carson.
Humarap ako sa kaniya. I looked at her feet. "Hindi ka baldado so better get up or you will not going to eat. Now choose."
Padabog ito tumayo at talagang nilagpasan pa ako nang naka-simangot. Tumabi na ako sa kaniya sa hapag-kainan. Sabay-sabay kaming kumain nang tahimik.
"Ate, are you aware of the rumor?" Rich suddenly break the silence.
"What rumor?" Ms. Carson asked.
"That your father—"
"Rich, it shouldn't be tackled in front of the food. That's a sensitive topic." Suway ko kay Rich. He mouthed sorry and continue eating silently with us.
"Let's have my freedom later." Ms. Carson whispered and I nodded.
I spent my time browsing on my newsfeed and talking to Shai and Cassie in our groupchat. They spent their time having a loud conversation. May minuto ring nagtatanong sila sa akin and Ms. Carson being herself, throwing some jokes.
"What do you call a vagina—"
"Oh shit!" I literally freaked out as I heard her words enunciated in front of Tita Melanie. I looked at Ms. Carson and my eyes widened to directly gesture that she should stop her jokes. And, the hell she just mouthed 'what'.
I let out a sigh, defeated by her craziness.
"So, shall we continue?" I heard her asked. I shook my head in disbelief. "What do you call a vagina that is scary?"
"Ano?" Tanong ni Tita Melanie na para bang sabik sa magiging sagot ni Ms. Carson. Mag-ina nga.
"Spukiii," she answered and they bursted in laughter.
11:30 PM, she sent me a signal. Tita Melanie and Rich were already sleeping. I nodded my head and silently help her to get up. We didn't make a noise as we exit the room.
"So, where do you wanna go right now?" I asked.
"Anywhere," she answered and I nodded my head. "Kyrie, about Rich's statement... what did my father do?"
My mind went totally blank and I don't know what to say now. Should I say that it was all a false accusations and just flinch it? Or maybe I could just shrug the hell out? This is insane!
I saw her smiled weakly. "I think, I know it. I've watched the lates news and it said, the one who harassed me got beaten up to death. Kyrie, your hunch was true." I was stunned for a moment but she snaked her arms around mine. "I wanna eat sopas."
I chuckled. "That's it. Gusto mo lang kumain ng sopas kaya kaya nag-aya lumabas."
Napadaing ako nang hampasin niya ako sa braso. "Of course, I wanna have some time with you. I adjusted for you. I know you missed me. Hindi mo ba naman nakita 'tong kagandahan ko maghapon." Sambit nito at tumawa.
"Are those your funny jokes again? Should I laugh Ms. Elionhir Rousseau 'Kapal ng mukha' Carson?" She laughed even louder and I got hit again. "Huwag ka na tumawa, sumasakit braso ko sa kahahampas mo."
Naglakad-lakad lang kaming dalawa sa sidewalk. She even commanded me to take her a picture on the street with her hospital gown. She did several poses in the middle and she did slay in every photo.
"Look, Ky, your future wife is so beautiful. I adore her." She said while looking at my phone. She looked completely amazed. "Ganda mo kumuha ng babae. Ilan na nakuhanan ng phone na ito?" She raised my phone.
My brows creased at her. "What are you talking about?"
"Ilang babae na ang nakuhanan mo ng litrato gamit ang phone mo?" She repeated.
"Just you," her lips formed a smile. Tumalikod na ako sa kaniya at nagsimula nang maglakad. "So just shut your mouth and we'll look for sopas."
Ilang minuto pa kaming naglakad bago kami nakakita ng karinderya na nag-o-offer ng sopas. Walang katao-katao ngayon dahil gabi na rin. Dalawang order agad ang kay Ms. Carson at isa lang naman ang sa akin.
"Elionhir, eat slowly." Suway ko sa kaniya.
She swallowed and smirked. "Eat you slowly? Sure, love." She even winked at me before continuing her food.
Lord, give me some patience to this patient. I never really experience to be highblood but I think, you will let me experience it tonight. Have mercy on me.
"Ky, what is something that scared you but you wanna do it anyway?"
I think of the what I guess is the best answer for her query and I ended up feeling terrified. Thinking the opposite of what are we doing right now is really awful. And, Mr. Carson immediately came up to my mind. His words petrified me, really.
"Giving someone the whole me; my mind, my heart, and my soul. I'm scared of falling and give everything I have. This world is cruel. Who you love the most can easily break your heart with just a snap. Betrayal coming from the people who you trust the most and the worst betrayal is from yourself so just trust yourself and not the others." I continuously answered.
"I really like how you answer my questions. I've never met someone like you or even half of you. Glad that I met you after he—"
"Neng, pwede bang makahingi ng kahit sentimos lang?" Nagulat ako sa aleng bigla na lang lumapit sa amin. "Nagugutom na kasi ang apo ko. Kulang pa ang perang nalilikom ko para pambili ng kakainin namin."
"I didn't take my wallet." Ms. Carson whispered to me.
Tumango ako. Naglabas ako ng limang daan para ibigay sa ale. Nagpasalamat ito at bigla na lang umalis na walang binibitawang salita. Napailing na lang ako dahil do'n.
Inubos na namin 'yung sopas at nagbayad na. Tuwang-tuwa siya dahil may take out siyang sopas. Kakainin daw niya kinabukasan. Naglakad na kami pabalik.
"Selfie tayo," she said. Nilabas ko ang phone ko at binigay 'yon sa kaniya. "Smile, Ky."
We both smile genuinely.
Nang makabalik ay sakto namang hinahanap kami sa labas nila Tita Melanie at Rich. They were so worried. Niyakap ako ni Rich at niyakap din ni Tita Melanie si Ms. Carson.
"Saan ba kayo nanggaling?" Nag-aalalang tanong ni Tita Melanie.
"Kumain po ng sopas." Masayang tugon ni Ms. Carson.
Tumango ito at nagbilin, "sa susunod, magsabi kayo ha? Para alam namin kung nasaan kayo. O siya, halina sa loob. Rich," Tita Melanie holds Rich's arms.
"Tara na?" Aya ni Ms. Carson at nagulat na lang ako nang hinawakan niya ang kamay ko bago kami naglakad.
But, right after we enter the main door, I froze and wave of fear suddenly flow in my whole system. Someone is staring at me intently and diverted it Ms. Carson's hand intertwined with mine. I saw how his eyes burned in anger and that someone is...
Mr. Henry Carson, Elionhir's father.