"DINNER'S READY!" i heard callie yell from the kitchen, brooke and i both go up off of the couch in the living room and made our way to the kitchen where the food was.
the food smelt amazing, i'd don't what callie had prepared but i figured it would be something delicious based on the smell.
noah, hailee and callie picked up all the food that was left on the kitchen island and brought it over to the table next to the next kitchen.
we all sat down, callie at the head of the table, brooke and noah sitting on each side of her, hailee sitting next to noah with stanley and me next to brooke.
we all started to dig into our food, there was plenty to choose from, lasagna, homemade pizza, pasta, chicken, ect.
i shove some lasagna in my mouth, mindful that there are other people here too and i should show some respect. i wipe my mouth after the food enters, and instantly groan.
i cover my mouth with my hand and try to finish my mouthful, "sorry, wow, this is just incredible. you made all of this yourself?" i ask callie after i've finished my mouthful.
she smiled sweetly and looks over to noah, "not just me, hailee is chef, she is amazing with food, you should've seen her in the kitchen." callie explains.
so not noah, hailee.
"and we could've been eating a lot sooner if this asshole helped." hailee laughed a bit nudging noah, i just look at her, not quite understanding how she isn't realising yet.
after a few more seconds she gasps loudly, she covers her hand over her mouth and her eyes are so big i don't know how they're not popping out of her head.
she takes her hand off of her mouth and looks down, "shit." she mumbles. she then gasps again and covers her mouth. everyone just laughs.
"you're not supposed to swear around children, it's a bad habit." noah says, he looks over to stan and he's just minding his own business playing with his food.
"and that's why i am not going to have children." brooke then says from beside me. i don't know what but a part of me sank. i was confused.
"you don't want children?" i slightly laugh off the awkwardness and confusion in my voice at the end. i furrow my eyebrows and shake my head a bit.
by now i am fully turned towards her with my knife and fork on the plate, giving her my full attention. she looks at me like i just made a mistake. she doesnt turn towards me like i am, her head is just turned towards me.
she stiffs a laugh. "i never said that." she turns her head back and takes another bite. i was about to say something until she spoke again. " i'm just saying that even if i did want to have children, i'm not going to. no matter how much i want one."
she isn't looking at me. "so you don't want any children." i state.
"no i-," she takes a deep breathe and closes her eyes, she turns her head and lock her eyes with mine. she then starts to fucking smile. "you're so fucking delusional." brooke finishes her sentence. she shakes her head then continues eating.
what? i could see Hailee covering Stans ears.
"okay." is all i say, i turn back to my food, "it's getting cold, should probably finish eating." i state, referring to my food. everyone else at the table was speechless, they were just watching us have our own conversation.
after around 10 or so minutes of peace and quiet, callie breaks the silence, "sunset looks pretty tonight." noah and hailee looks towards callie indicating for her to be quite as it will become even more awkward.
after dinner, i help clean the dishes, callie and hailee put the leftovers in the fridge for the next couple of nights.
once done i walk over to the living room where brooke is playing with stan. "hey can we, talk?" i suggest, brooke turns around and nods, she leads me up stairs to our room. she closes the door and lets turns around. crossing her arms.
she starts to slowly apologize for the miscommunication and me misunderstanding her. misunderstanding? miscommunication? no.
"stop. brooke stop." she stops rambling and looks up at me through her eyelids. fuck that stare.
"you said to me, 'even if i did want to have children'. don't you think that tells me you don't want kids?" i say to her trying to make her understand.
"well your wrong, because i do want kids, i mean for the love of god i would drive my self crazy if i didn't have a little shit running around everywhere destroying everything, being the cutest thing in the world and so innocent. having kids would be the best thing that could possibly happen to me." she explains, a single tear rolling down her cheek.
i felt bad now. i didn't know this. how could i?
"so why did you say if you wanted to?" i ask again. it's like all of her emotions have just disappeared, like she was acting. she wipes the singular tear off of her cheek like nothing and starts to smile.
she scoffs at me. "are you being serious?" she asks me.
"i'm confus-" she cuts me off.
"of course you're fucking confused, you are always fucking clueless of everything that happens around you," she scoffs again. "i bet you didn't even notice that hailee was trying to make conversation with you while you too were in the kitchen a few minutes ago cleaning up." she says.
my mouth falls partly open indicating i had no idea. her body slumps and she rolls her eyes. "of course, i fucking knew it. you know i don't even know why you are so twisted in this children shit. if i don't want a child it's my choice not yours. but your in luck man, because i do want one. congratu-fucking-lations. but not that lucky, because i wont have one. no matter how much i fucking want it. or maybe i want one but not with you. you don't know that."
i just look to the ground not knowing what to say. "look at me when i'm talking to you dylan." i couldn't bring myself to it. it was too much. "look at me." i cant.
she starts to walk away but pauses at the door. she turns around and struts towards me, even more tears than before.
"you know what. did it ever occur to you that maybe i had a child? did you ever think about that? or ask?" my face dropped, my stomach sunk to ground at her words, it felt like my world was tearing apart in my hands and my heart was being scrunched in a ball.
i realised that she said 'had' and not 'has'. my heart hurts for her, and my mind ran across all the possibilities of what could of happened to that poor child. especially with her past.
i wanted to say something but all that came out was: "did you?"
she looked fed up with my bullshit and tried to walk away, "i'm not having this conversation anymore." i reached for her hand and started to talk.
"why are you being so crude? i have done nothing wrong other than ask why you don't want children, don't you think i deserve better than that!?" i partially yell. "what if i want a child huh? i'm not going to go an adopt a child because then they won't be blood related to me."
she tilts her head figuring out what i want.
"wait wait wait, you want us to have a child? you think that me, and you, who have been dating for 1 month dylan! 1 FUCKING MONTH! you think that we're perfect for each other and that we're soulmates or some bullshit?" she scoffs hard.
"yes actually i did. even though i did hate you, and thought you were the most annoying person on earth, i actually thought i wanted to start a life with you. because ever since that cabin, all i have ever been able to think about was us." i'm almost at my breaking point now.
"so ever since that stupid fucking cabbin, all you've thought about is our future? how we can be one happy family and start a life together? are you fucking kidding me?" she looking up at me with her teary eyes.
"YES OKAY? BECAUSE I ACTUALLY LIKE YOU. i am so invested in your personality it fascinates me. i am drawn to you, physically and mentally. you're the only thing on my mind, first think on my mind to when. wake up and when i got to sleep. so i'm sorry if i thought that you might be the one. the one i can see starting a life with, which i do." my chest is rising heavily.
her body seems tired. she closes her eyes and shakes her head whilst putting her head in her hands. "how could i have been so stupid?" she talks to herself.
"what?" i ask stepping forward.
she takes a step back. "you. i already fucking hate myself for agreeing to this. to us. you should cofiser yourself lucky you even got this far. you know ever since myl-"
i cut her off. "myles? you mean your husband. the one who isn't coming back? im here now, move on for fucks sake." after saying that i feel like i just resurrected godzilla.
"move on? are you fucking with me right now?" she pushes me away from her and starts to take laps around the room. "i should of never of done this. i've already hurt myself enough as it is. ever since you have entered mylife, i've just gotten sader, and sader with every passing minute."
"you can't blame this, on me."
"why not? Dylan? you know i shouldn't have to feel like this in a relationship." she was about to continue when i cut her off.
"so don't! the only reason we're fighting right now is because you can't open yourself up. its not that hard to just fucking open up!"
she just stares at me, with a blank expression on her face. sadness filling every inch of her body, flooding out of her eyes. "it it kind of hard to when you feel like you're being judged or when your boyfriend tells you to move on from your dead husband." she sucks in a deep breath.
"you want me to open up? fine. the night Myles died was tragic for me. not only did he die, but so did my daughter." oh shit. "he lost control and we rolled across the highway. when we stopped, we were upside down. Myles was unconscious and the only light was our headlights. it was silent. the radio had stopped, no cars were passing by, breathing couldn't of been heard, tears and words were gone. nothing. i remember reaching for him. my hands bloody and my vision blurry. but he wouldn't wake up. i unbuckled myself and reached for our daughter. Adeline. but when i saw the state of her. my heart shattered."
she took in a shaky breath before continuing. "i was sitting in the crashed car for hours before ambulance arrived. sitting there caressing my dead family. holding my husband will i cried and sobbed. wishing i was dead with them." a tear rolled down her cheek.
"we were on a highway that was hours away from the nearest hospital. and for hours i went through all the possibilities this could have gone. take me instead. not my daughter. just kill me already. before they did arrive i got out of the car and walked off. not looking back. tears streaming down my face. i genuinely wanted to die. so i walked into the middle of the highway. hoping a single car would pass. but none would.
i screamed and i cried. cursing at myself and hitting myself, over and over again. hoping that this nightmare would end and i would wake up with my family. with him." she was staring everywhere but my eyes almost the entire time. and now she stared straight into my soul. "he was everything i could have ever asked for. he never hated me. he never pushed himself onto me. he never grabbed my hand and drag me outside and practically throw me in the back of a car. he never kissed me without my permission the first time we hung out. he never yelled at me. never. and yet, you remind me so much of him. so much. and i hate it."
she tried to hold back her tears. "so im sorry, if im not over him. you know it was just only a year ago." she stares at with furrowed eyebrows. "and if you can't understand that? then we're done. i want you out. okay?"
"you know you can still have a child? its oka-" i started but was cut off by her laughing
"oh my fucking god, you still don't understand do you?" she shook her head. "nah fuck this."
she walked out the door leaving me here, alone, my thoughts drowning me.
BROOKES POV:
i walk out of the room, crying, how could i be so fucking stupid? i walk into the bathroom and stare at the mess in front of me. i turn around and close the door and lock it.
i reach for the sink and wash my face, i don't bother re-applying my makeup, because sit was only mascara. i walked out and decided to wanted to go change; but i couldn't, because dylan was in there.
"fuck." i whispered to myself, i walked downstairs forgetting about it, i told my family that i'm going to bed early.
"your eyes are red." hailee pointed out, "oh i'm fine don't worry about it." i smile and walk back upstairs. i hear that dylan is in the the bathroom as i can hear the tap running.
i quickly rush into our room and pull out fuzzy christmas socks and my red & black checkered pants and white tank top that had a reindeer on the front.
in australia, december is summer, and apparently the sun likes to burn the country to its core in december, so it's always hot, but apparently at night it's freezing so i don't know.
i walk out of the room and quickly up the stairs to the roof. i walk over to the fireplace and start a fire, the sun has already set and it's pretty dark out.
i brought my jacket just in case it get colder. i get comfortable on the couch/bed, and grab the remote from the other cushion.
i forgot to mention there was an installed flat screen tv in the floor, i press a button on the remote and the tv appears.
。ﾟ₊ ✩࿐。ﾟ
DYLAN'S POV:
i spent a good amount of time in the bathroom and then fell asleep on the floor for a bit, i don't know how but i did.
i walked downstairs to callie and noah, "hey have you seen brooke by any chance?" i ask and noah immediately starts glaring at me like i did something wrong.
well i did do something wrong but he doesn't need to know that. i don't want to spend new year's eve and christmas with half a face.
"not sure dylan, go check the roof maybe? she said she was going to sleep." callie suggests. i nodded a thank you and walked up to the roof.
i see brooke lying peacefully on the bed with the tv and fire going, but her sleeping. i want to smile and giggle, but it feels wrong.
i walk over and before i reached her, a loud noise came from the tv, she shot up awake, rubbing her eyes, she looks around then straight at me.
she looks away and curls up in a ball, this big ass blanket suffocating her. "what do you want dylan?" she asks.
the time was around 11:48pm and she was looking tired. stan was already asleep, along with hailee.
"i came to apologise. i made the biggest mistake of my life, i am terrified of seeing you cry, seeing you cry feels like someone crushed my heart. i can live with the fact if you don't want to see me ever again, no, fuck it. i can't live without you, i need you brooke, i am so sorry for assuming things about you. all i want if for you to be happy. if you did...have a child, i want to support you and i will do anything so that i can to be with you." i love you.
is what i wanted to say 'i love you so much it drives me crazy'. but i couldn't, i needed to know her response first.
"you're so fucking selfish." what? "'i cant live without you.'? seriously? 'i need you.' are you fucking serious. if you want a child. leave. if you want someone who wants attention or doesn't want to be left alone during a hard time for them. leave. because right now you're doing everything i asked for you not to do."
"im sor-"
"i get it you're fucking sorry. i've heard that before. but if im being totally honest with you. sorry won't cut it. you made me feel stupid for opening up about Myles and then told me to get over him? you're always shoving yourself onto me, metaphorically by the way. and you yell at me. you yelled at me right after i opened up about my dad in your bedroom. you yelled at me for not wanting a child with you." she sucked it another deep breath.
"dylan we've been fucking dating for a month! cant you grasp the concept of that? i didn't even want this to begin with. i don't know if you remember but when we were in the woods while i was on my run at the cabin? you flirted with me. i told you to stop. you let your hormones get the best of you and you became an animal in my eyes. someone i don't trust. someone i hated. even more than the night we met."
she was crying again. i'm going to hug her.
she kept on rambling but i just reached over to her and wrapped my arms around her not letting her go. "dylan this is exactly what im talking about. fucking let me go." she was sobbing.
"please..."
after a few seconds she stopped, she eventually hugged me back and gave in, crying in my arms.
"im sorry. im sorry. im sorry." i started to cry too. repeating those two words again and again. "i don't have a god enough explanation for all those times i let you down or made you feel upset. i want you to understand that i am here for you and no matter what choice you make."
she stopped crying. "what if i want to break up with you?" she doesn't let go of me.
"then do it."
"i cant."
i tilt her head to look up at mine and stare at her wet lips. i lean down and press mine against hers. we kissed each other with so much love and sadness combined.
she broke away and continued to kiss me, i didn't hesitate but to kiss back. things started to get heated and we started to make out angrily. she was still furious with me i could tell but i think what we both needed was to have each other in this moment.
i started to kiss her roughly and i remember her saying one day that if we were to have sex, she wanted it to be making love. not just us fucking. so that's what i'm going to do.
i sit us up so Brooke is sitting on my lap, she starts grinding my lap, and biting my bottom lip very gently, she instantly goes for my shirt, she tugs the hem of my shirt and i help her pull it over.
"you sure?" i ask, and she nods. i smile and kiss her again. Brooke reached over to the remote and turns the tv off and closes the blinds so that we can see through them a but but no one can see in. some privacy is exactly what we needed.
i instantly go for her pants, tugging them down from her hips, i maintain eye contact with her the whole time.
"wait do you have a condom?" she asks me, i shake my head no, "well no, i didn't think we would be doing this this weekend. did you?" i ask her.
"it's a guest room, there's nothing in there, and why would i bring some?" she replies. she thinks for a moment then and idea pops into her head. "Noah has some, and i know where, i'll be right back."
she runs off into their room careful not to wake the baby or Hailee, i just watch her run off with a smirk on my face, once she's gone, i fall back onto the bed and smile to myself.
she returns seconds later with the condom. she jogs over towards me and places the condom on the table. she helps me take my sweat pants off, so it just leaves me in my boxers. i stare at her bra and just wish it would pop off, but i also want to be the one to take it off. slowly. so that's exactly what i did.
i reached for her, wrapping my hands around the back to the clasp of her bra. i unclip and slowly guide the bra straps down her shoulders until her bra was completely off and i was staring at her bare chest. i thought i would never say this, because for one i thought it was impossible, but hers is the best i've ever seen.
she looks at me with desire filling her eyes, and only desire. i don't see love i just see desire. but in this moment i didn't care. i just wanted her, and only her. we made out for what seems like forever. our lips layered on top of each other and our tongues fighting until the world ends.
her hands began to slide down my bare chest and down to the hem of my boxers. this weird twisted feeling erupted in my stomach and it felt like my stomach was being tied into knots. butterflies searched my stomach, reaching every part of me.
i could only see myself with her, only her.
Brooke reaches down, grabs my boxers and begins to guide them off my hips. i stopped her from doing so, and decided for me to do the work so she can relax and watch me. i got up and stood in front of her, my legs between hers, and me towering over her.
i stepped out of my boxers once they were off and i watched her reaction as she saw me like this. "holy shit.." she started, with her eyes wide open, like she'd just seen a ghost. "you're huge." i chuckled and went down to attach my lips to hers but she stopped me.
"my turn." she smirked, she stood up and pushed me down so that we had switched positions. and bent down and guided her thong off of her hips and down to her ankles. i was just as shocked as she was, she reaches over for the condom on the table next to her. she places the condom packet in between her teeth, keeping in mind to only bite the plastic not the condom itself or it will break.
i loved seeing her like this, confident and dominant. she walked closer to me and settled her self on my lap. she grinned as she pressed her wet lips onto mine, hard and fast, just as she lowered herself onto me. our moans were silenced by our kisses in-between each thrust.
"fuck brooke." i groaned into her mouth. she smiled, or more like smirked back at me.
our lips were still connected but our mouths were open as she went up and then back down on me again, over and over. my groans and her moans formed together to what seemed to me like an artwork painted by Pablo Picasso.
i was almost at my climax, and so was she. she went harder, forcing for it to come faster. i eventually came, and filled up the condom. she did the same. she moans into my mouth and and groan at the sensation. i pull out of her while i lift her onto the couch next to us, i take the condom off, tie it and toss it into the trash can.
i walk back over to her and grab some tissues and clean her up. after, i do the same thing i did with the condom and collapse next to her, we both had our eyes closed and we were breathing heavily.
"fucking hell." Brooke explains.
。ﾟ₊ ✩࿐。ﾟ
we are lying on the bed next to the fire, underneath a blanket, completely naked. I lay on my back with my arms behind my head and Brooke with her head on my chest looking up at me.
"fuck i admire you so much." i say, Brooke smiles and reaches in to kiss me on the lips, i kiss her back but apart of me was disappointed. i didn't even know why. but before i could go deeper into the topic, i remember something.
"guess what today is?" i say, "Christmas eve?" she tries. "wrong, it's 12:18am, it's Christmas, and it's also our 1 month anniversary" i say smiling like an idiot.
she smiles back at me, "really?" she asks with a smirk.
"mhm" i hum back.
"i can't be fucked celebrating, i just want to sleep honestly." Brooke says.
"fall asleep then." i suggest, and she does.
• • •
AUTHORS NOTE: oh my goodness. long ass chapter.