Hours passed, and you had finally woken up. It turns out that Shoko had to put you under anesthesia earlier than she thought, seeing as your eyes would frantically move under the lights, making it hard to perform the operation. You didn't mind though, the thought of being awake during the whole thing freaked you out anyways.
When you woke, you saw that you were alone in the room. You hadn't a clue of the time, but you figured it was probably late morning. You wondered when Nanami would stop in, wanting him to see your spotted eyepatch. That was another thing, you had to manually look to the left to see from that side; no more wide peripheral vision.
Oh well.
You had also wondered if you were able to leave. Even though you knew you shouldn't, you couldn't help but want to. It's not like you could fall back asleep; Shoko was correct when she said the pain would be intolerable. However, she doesn't want you to take a lot of medicine to numb the pain, that could end up making it worse in the long run.
Eventually, you heard the shoes of someone walking down the hall. When they popped in the room, they saw you awake.
"Awake already huh?" Nanami asked. "I was in here only 40 minutes ago and you were snoring away like a baby."
You rolled your eyes, "Shut up. When will Shoko be in?"
"Later. She wanted me to tell you not to leave before she got back. Apparently there's something she needs to tell you. Said it wasn't too important but she figured you'd like to know."
"Ugh, but sitting here waiting is so~ boring," you whined. Nanami shook his head and sighed, almost as if he knew you would say that.
"Would you like to play cards?" He suggested.
"Not really to be honest. Am I allowed other visitors?"
"No."
You scoffed folding your arms across your chest and turning to face the other direction. "How come you're here then."
"I'm an exception," he stated. You tipped your head back on the pillow so you were facing the ceiling.
"Can I ask you something?" Nanami asked.
"Sure, beats sitting here in silence," you spoke, staring at the small cracks that were forming on the ceiling above you.
"What ever happened with you and Fushiguro? I thought you were close."
You visibly tensed before sitting back up. "There is no room for companionships in the busy life of a sorcerer. I had been warned and faced the consequence when Meg- Fushiguro almost died. Sorcerers don't form relations other than the ones necessary to complete missions. That's been made very clear to me."
"Yeah, but that's no way to live," Nanami spoke after a long silence. You turned to look up at him.
"But—"
"I know. I live a solitary life. Worked an office job where I was alone and now I'm back as a sorcerer where I continue working mostly alone. But sometimes, I regret it. Sometimes I wish I had a wife and kids to go home to when it gets rough." He paused and looked at you. "But you're young, I don't want you to make the wrong decisions and live a lonely life like I do."
"It wasn't my decision to make," you mumbled out. "He ended whatever we were when he was in the hospital. Hasn't batted an eye in my direction since if he didn't have to. But I get it, I really do."
Nanami stood during the conversation, and patted you on the back when it was over. He had said a quick goodbye after his phone vibrated, and left you alone once again.
———
It had felt like hours had passed when Shoko finally returned from wherever she was. She began asking you a bunch of questions on how you felt and if you were okay to be on your own. You nodded to all of them.
"Well, I don't really see a reason to keep you then. I'll take out your IV and let you go."
"Do you want help cleaning up?" You offered, but she only shook her head.
"You should probably get some rest."
You nodded your head, and got around to leave. Yet, something was still on your mind when you approached the door.
"Hey Shoko?" You turned to face her. She hummed in response.
"Nanami said you had something that you wanted to tell me."
Her eyes widened in remembrance. "That's right. You had a visitor while you were asleep— other than Nanami. He was pretty stubborn about leaving when I told him no visitors, but he was quick to leave when he realized that you weren't awake yet."
"Who was the visitor?"
"That Fushiguro kid. Said he wanted to make sure you were okay."
———
Spring had come around pretty quickly that year. Cherry blossom trees began to flower and the grass began to grow greener. The winter frost had finally melted away.
Your vision had returned after the surgery, but you had kept wearing the eyepatch. It covered most of the scars, and the insecurity. Besides, you had gotten so used to it that it would be annoying to get rid of now.
There were some occasions where you would do away with it, but most of the time you were alone or with only Nanami.
It was almost midnight one night when you sat in the common room reading. Your eyepatch had been off for a few hours now, seeing as everyone was asleep. Your eyesight was weakening since you didn't use your left eye as often, and you didn't want it to return to its previous state. Reading helped, and Shoko had even provided you a set of glasses (that you refused to wear).
As you continued reading, you thought you heard footsteps coming from behind you. Frantically, you searched for your eyepatch, but you couldn't find it anywhere. Probably in the damn cushion.
"Oh, hey l/n. I didn't expect you to be awake."
That was a voice you hadn't heard in months.
"F-Fushiguro," you recognized the voice anyway and quickly brought up your hand to cover your eye. He sat down on the couch across from you, looking at the book you were reading.
"Is it good?" He asked, hoping to make small conversation. He honestly hadn't expected anyone to be out here, but wasn't upset when he saw you.
However, you were unsure why he was talking to you. He hadn't made an effort before, so why now?
"I think so, I'm only a few chapters in but it's pretty good so far."
He hummed while looking at you. You had been purposely avoiding his gaze.
"What's with your hand?"
"I can't find my eyepatch."
"So... you use your hand?"
"Yes."
"Why?" He pried.
"Why do you care? You didn't before," you harshly spoke. His expression saddened, but only for a moment. He sighed.
"You're right, it's none of my business. Goodnight l/n." He stood to walk away, but you grabbed his wrist.
"Wait, I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean it like that."
He sat back down, "No need to lie, I understand why you feel that way. And it's the truth. I have no reason to poke and prod at you. I am at fault here."
He was correct.
You sighed, "I don't like people seeing it."
He looked up at you to be met with your gaze. He noticed the sadness in your eye along with an expression he didn't recognize. Disgust.
"Your eye?"
You nodded. "I hate it. It's a constant reminder of my weakness. That's not really something I want the world to see and judge me for however they please— it's easier to hide it."
Fushiguro only stared at you before he got the confidence to break the silence. "Can I see it?"
Your visible eye widened as it shot up to look at him. Shock filled your body at his sudden abruptness.
"What?"
"Your eye, can I see it?"
"Why?"
He sighed, a defeated smile plastered on his lips. "Alright, you got me. I'm simply curious— that's all. No need to get all defensive."
What could go wrong? You asked yourself as you took a deep breath. You removed your hand and let your left eyelid flutter open. An embarrassed blush covered your cheeks as you could feel his gaze wander across your face.
He sat up and sat beside you, only deepening the blush on your cheeks.
"It's pretty," he breathed out quietly. Your not sure if he meant to say it, but you definitely heard it.
"W-What?"
"Your eye, it's pretty," he repeated it. So I did hear it.
"Well don't get used to it," you grumbled. "You're probably not going to see it again."
Silence engulfed the two of you quicker than a flame ever could. You looked down while Fushiguro continued to look at your face. He saw the 4 pale lines that raked across your face, as well as the freckles that were scattered across your nose.
"Can I ask you something?" You broke the silence.
"Yeah sure, go ahead."
"Why did you stop talking to me? Like I had fallen off the face of the earth and never existed in the first place," you courageously spoke. It had almost been 6 months since he laid in the hospital bed.
He swallowed. "I liked you so much. But it hurt me to see you cry and worry. When Mahito had threatened to kill you, I knew that what we had couldn't go on any longer. It had gotten to the point where it was easier to ignore you completely than to see you worried about me. It was easier to watch from afar."
Your eyes widened in shock. "Then why are you talking to me again?"
"Because I realize that what I did was a mistake," he grabbed your hands and held on to them with his own. "I regretted it ever since I told you that we couldn't go on like we were. But I can't keep pretending like you don't exist. I can't keep pretending that the feelings I had for you all those months ago are gone. Because truth be told they're not!" His voice was full of emotion. You have not seen him this vulnerable in awhile.
You pulled your hands out of his grasp. "I'm sorry Megumi. I don't feel the same anymore."
You took a deep breath and bit your tongue. It didn't have to end this way, but it's for the better. He was right when he ended things, it's better to not get attached, and that's what he was. In order to protect him, you needed to let him go.
Instead of begging you to stay or yelling at you to go, he said one simple phrase that you knew all too well.
"I understand."
Maybe there really is truth behind the saying "right person, wrong time."
[word count: 1839]
edited