𝑺𝑻𝑬𝑳𝑳𝑨𝑹 • γ€Œ 𝑲𝑡𝒀 𝑿...

By starrysnite

237K 11.2K 9.7K

β•°β”ˆβž€ ❝ π™’π™π™šπ™§π™š.. π™©π™π™š π™π™šπ™‘π™‘ 𝙖𝙒 𝙄? ❞ βˆ˜β‚Šβœ§β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€βœ§β‚Šβˆ˜ You lived a normal and casual life in the twenty-f... More

Intro !! Woohoo !!
Your Bitchass Woke Up Late
I Don't Think We're In Kansas Anymore..
WHAT THE HEL- Wait Nvm It's Only A Chipmunk
Exercising - Your Worst Enemy.
As Dumb As A Roc- Boulder.
Worst Cooks In Ameri- Japan
Mr. Fox Beats Your Ass
Cancelled Sabito On Twitter
Surprise Party
R.I.P., Tanjirou's Long Hair
Old Friend
How To Kick Balls: 101
Sleepover
Haganezuka With The 'Tude
Kazumi Worries For Your Bowels
In The Depths
a/n (not rly tho, just me complaining)
Fedora Fucker
That's A Lot Of Damage!
Disney Princess
Overdramatic
Enter: Boar Bitch
Eeny Meeny Miney Moe...
Sherlock Holmes
Knee Murderer
WikiHow: To Flip Off A Lower Moon
Hang In There! (Literally!)
The Hashira's Reenactment Of Judge Judy
You Threatened.. Muzan Kibutsuji?
Get That Away From Me!
Pathetic Attempt At Charades
Mission Impossible!
Girls Don't Fart
Six In The Morning
Wakey Wakey, Eggs and Bakey!
Resentment
Truths Revealed
You Screw Yourself Over
Haganezuka Throws A Tantrum
Au Revoir!
All Aboard!
Don't Let The Bedbugs Bite!
Trouble In Paradise
Eyes Opened
Let's Make A Deal
Reunited At Last
Traitor
Bitter Goodbyes
Zombie
A Father's Love
You Turn Into An Old Man
Zenitsu's Stomach Goes Through World War III
Awkward Conversations 101
Shenanigans But Make It Fancy
Getting Blackmailed By A Toddler! Whoopee!
Who Doesn't Love Getting Slammed Into Fourteen Walls?
Second Guessing
The Hardest Thing
Eli Having No Sense Of Direction
The Return of The Psychopathic Swordsmith
Revealing The Truth
Life Without You
Enter: Flamboyant Bitch
Mission Impossible-er
Flashy Lights
Inosuke Goes Through Puberty
Another Day, Another Blackmail
Meeting
Eli Gets Extremely Humbled
DΓ©jΓ  VuοΏΌ
Disoriented
Slandering Eli, Pt. 2719
im alive !! woo!! (a/n)
The Emergence
Broken Record
Enter: The First Wife
Lucky Is She
Karma, Bitch!
Missing
At Long Last
His Perspective
After The Storm
Heart to Heart
Slipped Out
Room Arrest
The Great Ice Cream War - Chocolate Vs. Vanilla
Training Dummy
Not-So Sleeping Beauty
No Ifs, Ands, Or Buts
Into The Village
Mohawk Boy
Read The Room
You're Not Schizophrenic, Are You?
The Key
A Puny Crow Kicks Your Ass
Fucked Up Version Of Excalibur
Oh No, He's Hot!
Oogies!
Somebody, Fix The Wifi..
You're Single, Aren't You?
Hips Don't Lie!
In Which: You Drown Like The Titanic

That One Britney Spears Song

1K 76 36
By starrysnite

heyheyhey, i'm back!

look, you guys have been incredibly patient, and yet again, i apologize for the long breaks between updates..

i've been struggling with some minor health issues, but i'm feeling semi-better today!

in other news, i also rewrote the second chapter, so if you want, you're free to go back and read it!

anywho, here's the chapter :)!

WARNING: Swearing , Violence

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

It was a standoff, a tense one at that. With Gyutaro now revealed, you knew it wouldn't be long before he would inevitably poison Uzui, making him weaker.

You bit your lip, attempting to wrack your brain to remember, before you blurted out at Gyutaro to buy some time, "Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Who told you that your ugly ass could tag-team us!?"

Gyutaro halted his movements, before he narrowed his eyes on you, "You're that hairpin girl, huhh.." He then cracked his knuckles, "Now, isn't that hypocritical to saaaay? You fiends teamed up and bullied my cute, dumb little sister.."

Eli scoffed, "Listen, sherlock. Your 'cute' little sister attacked us first.. and killed a shit ton of people sooo.." He shrugged, "She had it coming, and you do too, moron."

Suddenly, Gyutaro lunged towards the defenseless civilians alone, causing Uzui to jump in and deflect his sickles, sending them flying out the building.

Gyutaro hummed, "The envy, maaaan. You really are a niiice guy, huh. Protecting the humans, looking cool, niiice.." He then averted his gaze to the trembling civilians, "And you're a savior in their eyes, huh. I'm sure they'll shower love and gratitude on you."

Uzui smirked cockily, "Well, duh. I'm a flamboyant, elegant, ladies man of cour-" Eli shouted out, interrupting him, "LIES!" Uzui shot him a glare, hissing out, "WILL YOU SHUT YOUR TRAP FOR ONCE!?"

You giggled into your fist, while Uzui continued, "Ahem, as I was saying.. I'm a flamboya-" Eli interrupted him once more, sliding over to his side, "Pfft-! Who cares about this unflashy man?! And who cares if he has three wives!?"

Eli smirked, and snapped his fingers into a finger gun, "Wassup, the names Hugh! Hugh Jass! And let me tell ya, you will find me much more flashier than this-"

Gyutaro scratched his eye in anger, before completely shouting over Eli, "YOU GOT THREE WIVES NOW!? YOU'RE KIDDING ME, RIGHT? RIIIIGHT!? UNFORGIVABLE!!"

You watched as Gyutaro prepared his attack, making you desperately call out to the two, "WATCH OUT, HE'S GONNA ATTACK—!" As if on cue, Gyutaro sent out a slash of blood, yet it was as sharp as a lethal blade.

Suddenly, a loud explosion rung out, making the three of you to drop to the first floor. You let out a yell in surprise, "UWAAAAH, WHAT THE FUCCCKK!!"

Uzui whipped his head behind him to the citizens, "RUN!! GO HIDE, HURRY!!" One of the men shakily responded, "O-Okay!!"

Gyutaro peered at the three of you through the hole in the floor, "You three aren't getting away. Now turn, splatter sickle." You let out a light gasp as the three of you snapped your heads to face the oncoming attack.

You took a sharp inhale, 'There's so much more than in the manga..!'

You looked down at your blade, before looking back up at the upcoming sickles. You drew your blade back, before taking a preparation step backwards.

You inwardly crossed your fingers that the attack would work, "Star Breathing, First Form, Shooting Star!" With that, you dashed forwards at an extremely hasty speed, before slashing a good number of the sickles.

You let out a shaky breath, before turning back to see Uzui and Eli deal with the rest of the sickles. Not even a moment later, you soon felt the trickling of a small amount of blood from your eyes and ears.

You quietly winced, before quickly wiping some of it away. You then let out a small laugh in triumph, before locking eyes with Gyutaro, "HELL YEAH, BITCH! THAT'S HOW I GET SHIT DONE!! WOOOO!"

Soon after, you ran back over to Eli and Uzui, but before you could say anything else, explosives rained down from above. Luckily for you, Uzui deflected them upwards before they could hit any of you.

After the dust of the explosion died down, Eli side glanced you, "Woah woah, did you just-" You answered before he could finish with excitement, "Hell yeah, I did!"

Uzui then averted his gaze to in front of the three of you, making you turn your head. Uzui let out a small smile, "...Well. Ordinary means won't do the trick, huh."

There, Daki was sitting on Gyutaros back, with obi hanging out from her back and her arms wrapped around Gyutaros neck. Gyutaro sent the three of you a toothy smirk, "The two of us are one, after all."

Gyutaro narrowed his eyes on you once more, "Niiice technique, there. Never seen it. It's flashy, but you're a pest for using it." He then looked at Eli, "And you, you're just flat out annoying, maaan."

An irk mark grew on Eli's forehead, "What the fuck!? What's wrong with you?!" You burst into laughter, yet soon winced from pain, "BWAHAHA, HE'S RIGHT!! BWAHAH— augh!"

Eli scoffed, "Heh, that's what you get!" He then turned to face you, but seeing your condition, he quirked a brow, "Hey.. you uh.. you good?" You sent him a shaky thumbs up, "Y-Yeah.. I'll be fine.."

Gyutaro then locked eyes with Uzui, "But you, you're different, maaan. Different from all the pillars I've killed up to now. You were a special guy from the moment you were born. You got that chosen talent. The envy, man. I want to put an end to your life this instant."

The atmosphere engulfed in a short moment of silence, before Uzui spoke up, ".. Talent? Nah."

You and Eli looked up at Uzui as he continued, "Do I look like I have some kind of talent? If that's how you see someone like me, you must have had a wonderful life."

Blood dripped from his forehead as he continued to smirk, "You've lived hundreds of years, yet you shut yourself up in this place. I'm not surprised you don't know how the world works. This country's huge. It's swarming with amazing guys."

Veins began to bulge from his forehead,  "And there are really strange guys out there. There are guys who became pillars two months after picking up a blade."

He then rose his voice, "I GOT CHOSEN? DON'T MESS WITH ME. HOW MANY LIVES DO YOU THINK HAVE SLIPPED THROUGH MY FINGERS? YET YOU SAY, I WAS CHOSEN?"

He lowered his voice, "There are guys who are stuck in comas, after saving lives. I can never be like him. There are girls who sacrifice themselves for the sake of others, yet still live throughout it all."

You widened your eyes, 'Is he.. talking about Rengoku? And.. me..?'

He looked back up at Gyutaro, "Yet you still say I was chosen. Open your eyes."

Gyutaro groaned, "Gnngh.. Then how do you explain this? The only reason you're still alive and haven't dropped dead right now.. is because this pest of a girl deflected my sickles! They were full of deadly poison..!"

Eli blurted out in a surprised state, "They.. were WHAT?!" He whipped his head between Gyutaro and you, "DOES THAT MEAN..!?" Gyutaro slowly smiled in realization, "Thats right. That means the poison is in her system! She'll drop dead in no time!"

You blinked owlishly, "Eh?"

You wiped more oncoming blood from your eyes and ears before talking, "Uh, sorry to burst your bubble.. but other than this blood that comes with my techniques, I feel actually pretty great."

You shrugged, "I mean.. is it supposed to give me any symptoms?" You then began to giggle, "Hey wait, this is like that one Britney Spears song!"

Your giggle broke out into laughter, "PFFT- You get it?! Because the poison is toxic! Wait shit, how did the lyrics go again?!"

Eli facepalmed, "Are you seriously thinking about Britney Spears right now?! YOU LITERALLY JUST GOT POISON IN YOUR SYSTEM!"

You blew your tongue at him, "Oh come on, you're dissing Britney Spears now, but don't act like you never thought she was hot!"

You tapped your foot for a moment before laughing out, "DON'T YOU KNOW THAT YOU'RE TOXXIIICCC!!"

Everyone surrounding you stared at you in shock. I mean, who wouldn't? You had found out there was so-called poison in your system, yet you were making jokes about a random song.

You then mumbled under your breath, "I forget how it worked.. but isn't Uzui supposed to be poisoned??"

You then perked up, upon a sudden realization. You snapped your head to Uzui, "YOU'RE NOT POISONED!! AHA!!" You began to jump up and down in relief, "I DID IT!! I DID IT!!"

Uzui raised a brow, "What? I was supposed to get poisoned?" He shook his head dismissively, "We'll talk after we kill these demons.." He then looked up at Gyutaro, "Even if you did end up poisoning me, I'm from a family of Shinobi. I developed some resistance, so poison won't work."

Daki pointed an accusing finger at Uzui, "THE SHINOBI WENT EXTINCT IN THE EDO ERA!! DON'T LIE TO US!!"

After a few moments of silence, Uzui quietly winced, making you snap your head towards him with widened eyes, 'He.. got poisoned..?! But.. how!? I thought I saved him from it..!'

Gyutaro slowly smiled, "Hm? Hmmm? Hmmmmm? Hee, hee, hee! Would you look at that! I managed to get some poison into your system after all! The poison's working, slowly and steadily. That whole 'not working' thing was a bluff. Laaaaame."

You furrowed your brows, "...What? But.. if the poison is working on him.. why isn't it working on me..?" You looked down at your bloodied hands, "Is it.. because of my blood..?"

Suddenly, Uzui broke into a small fit of laughter, "Well, not so sorry to disappoint you, it's not working at all! How about I dance for ya? I'm in tip-top shape, and I can eat a hundred tempura bowls!! With a hundred percent flamboyance!!!"

They both lunged at eachother, causing you to snap your head towards Eli. You held your hand out at your blade, smearing blood onto it. You then each nodded in understanding, before rushing in after them.

They exchanged attacks as you and Eli each rushed in from the left and right. You then both drew your blades back at Gyutaro and Daki, preparing to attack.

Gyutaro and Daki took notice of this, causing Daki to send her obi at the two of you. As you each slashed her obi, Uzui took the chance to kick Daki upwards and off of Gyutaros back.

Gyutaro yelled at Uzui in anger, "DON'T YOU DARE KICK MY SISTER, BASTARD!!" Daki called out soon after, "PIECES OF SHIT!! YOU DISTRACTED ME!! NOT FAIR!!"

Eli stuck his tongue out, "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! THAT WAS OBVIOUSLY FAIR AND SQUARE!!" You nodded, "WHAT HE SAID!!"

You then jumped up, before beheading her altogether. Luckily for you, your blood did most of the work for you. As you landed back onto your feet, you and Eli both high-fived triumphantly.

She let out a scream in pain as her body hit the ground, "IT BURNS!! AAAGGHH!!"

Uzui sent out multiple explosives towards the two demons, and once they set off, it shook the building to its core.

With Gyutaro distracted by Daki and the explosives, Uzui gripped the tip of his blade as he went to slash Gyutaros neck with the other tip.

Gyutaro ducked under it at the last second, making Uzui curse under his breath, "Dammit. I missed my chance to kill him."

Daki then began to yell once more as she reattached her head, "AAAAAAGGGHHH!! MY HEAD GOT CUT OFF AGAIN! SHITHEAD!! SHITHEAD!! YOU'RE SO GONNA PAY!!"

Tears pricked her eyes, "YOUR BLOOD HURTS!! IT HURTS SO MUCH!! THIS SUCKS! THIS SUCKS! WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE GETTING CUT UP?! WAAAAAAAAH!!"

Gyutaro raised his head to look at Uzui, "Hey, have you noticed now?"

Uzui wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead, "..Noticed what?"

Gyutaro raised his brows, "..No point realizing it now, bud. You're slooooooowly dying over there. So now we're gonna beat you slow and steady. And once you drop dead entirely, all I have to do is snatch the girl and bring her back to that maaan.."

You spoke to Gyutaro with an irk mark on your head as you walked over to Uzui's side, "Y'know, I appreciate all this attention I'm getting from you and your annoying, ugly demon friends, but it's a hard pass."

Gyutaro dryly chuckled, "Sooorry, man. You don't have a choice."

From out of the blue, a familiar voice rung out from beside you, "OH, REALLY NOW!?" You jumped in surprise, before turning to face the voice, "INOSUKE!"

Soon after, Zenitsu and Sōta ran up. Sōta immediately began to scold Inosuke, "YOU DUMB BOAR! STOP RUNNING AHEAD OF US!"

Inosuke ignored him entirely, before locking eyes with Gyutaro and showcasing his blades, "DON'T FORGET US, BUDDY! KING INOSUKE AND SOME OF HIS UNDERLINGS, ARE HERE BECAUSE OF ME!"

Sōta facepalmed in second hand embarrassment, "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! (Y/N)'S DAMN CHIPMUNK LEAD THE WAY BECAUSE YOUR DUMBASS GOT US LOST!!"

As if on cue, Hoshi popped up from Inosukes head, chirping with content.

Your eyes widened as you gripped your hair, "HOLY SHIT, I FORGOT ABOUT HOSHI!! I WAS SO FOCUSED ON FIGHTING I DIDN'T REALIZE SHE WASN'T HEEERREE!!"

Gyutaro furrowed his brows, "What? Who're they..?"

Eli deadpanned as he walked over to your side, "Only the dumbest people alive. Other than (Y/N), of course.." You sent him a glare, "Shut up! You're a hypocrite!"

You each butted heads as you bickered.

Eli's eyes stared into your soul, "Haaah? I'm the hypocrite? You're the only hypocrite here!!"

You clenched your teeth, "Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am NOT!"

"Are TOO!!"

"AM NOT!"

"ARE TOO, DAMMIT!!"

"AM NOT-"

Sōta suddenly began to yell at the two of you, "WILL YOU GUYS SHUT UP?! NOW'S NOT THE TIME, YOU MORONS! READ THE GODDAMN ROOM!"

You crossed your arms as you puffed your cheeks out, "What do you mean?! He started it!" Eli shot you a betrayed looked, "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!"

Suddenly, a familiar black and green checkered haori whizzed by you, before landing on the ground in front of you. A black nichirin blade was gripped tightly within his calloused palms.

Tanjirou had finally entered the scene.

And with that, all six of you were finally reunited once more.

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

Word Count: 2464

hope you enjoyed :)

see ya in the next update !!

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