Okay, Okay I'm back...sorry for disappearing. My phone was being weird so I've been phone-less for the last few days...I-it was so hard, I can't even talk about it. Let's just move on💔
Btw this is barely edited, just for the sake of trying to hurry and update
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"You're back..." he grumbles.
"What are you doing here?"
"Just came to see why you were driving all around like crazy. Why you tell me you're home just to leave back out..."
"I'm sorry I didn't report to you, cause that's definitely something I'm used to doing," I walk past him and start unlocking my door, sarcasm taints every word. He walks in behind me. "I never said you can come in."
"I'm not looking for you to report to me. I'm not fucking dumb either. That was a bunch of bullshit. You tell me you're home, like you aren't leaving out for the rest of the day, just to shut me up. Just to driving around in the fucking streets? What type of shit is that? You act like I like being on your ass all day, but that's the fucking situation, and I'm confused as to what the hell I'm supposed to do," he rants behind me, following me to my room.
I laugh. Nothing is funny about this, buts it's all I can do. "You're confused?"
He furrows his brows more. "You never stop surprising me, holy shit- you are confused?! I call bull shit, because you have confused the fuck out of me."
"What the hell are you even talking about?"
I groan, tossing my head back, hooking my hands around my neck. "You are a piece of shit. We fucking kissed! We kissed! That's what I'm talking about."
He throws his arms out. "Because we fuckin' kissed, seriously?"
"What the fu- yes, seriously!" My jaw drops. "You haven't said shit about it, so what the hell am I supposed to think? Did it not mean anything? A kiss like that is supposed to just be swept under the rug?"
"You tell me," he glares. "What the fuck do you think?" As he waits for an answer, his head tilts to the side, his nose slightly flares.
"Shut up," I smack my teeth, "don't start that. I asked you first."
"No, come on, Dawson. Let's here it" he comes closer, stepping to me like he is challenging me. His eyes are distant and make it hard for me to keep straight face that can only show half of how upset I am. "You tell me what you think a damn kiss means."
My voice gets caught in my throat. To get my voice back, I swallow thickly. "You were drunk-"
"Not that damn drunk." His sharp tone cuts me off.
"Okay, so?" I ask. "Can we be adults and playing word games?" My voice finally comes back.
He shakes his head, softening his eyes the slightest bit. "Well fine...Dawson, I've never wanted to be a better man for anyone more that I have for you and this baby."
I gulp, an unbelievable smile passes my face. His words make me feel like I've been thrown in a cool pool of water. My body even goes rigid but I try to shake it off. "Right...and how do you know this isn't feelings because of the baby?"
His hands cup my face, making me look up at him. "You can think I'm exaggerating, but I've never met anyone like you. The women I met aren't even half as thoughtful, goal driven, spirited, or as bright as you."
His description makes my heart swell. I could disagree with a lot of those words, but instead I keep my argument to myself. I play it off, raising a brow. "You think too highly of me...surely those women are more put together than I am."
He smirks. "That is true..." I huff, shoving his hands away. "But that's what I like about you...you're real, you don't put on a facade that you are perfect. I think I can say you are the first woman that I'm more than physically attracted to."
"In the twenty-seven years of your life?" I raise my brow.
He nods his head, blinking slowly.
Deep down, the insecure girl in me, that has never been enough for her own mother, doesn't believe him. But I continue the conversation as if I do trust every word he says. That's what I want anyway —is to believe him. Right now this is sounding too good to be true.
"Why didn't you say any of this before?" I whisper. "You-you made me feel like shit, Warren."
"I'm sorry...I didn't know how to accept all of this. The idea of having a daughter is still shocking to me...then you...us."
I bite the inside of my cheek. "You feel the same, don't you?" He asks quietly.
"Mmhm," Is all I can say as I get stuck in a trance while I stare into his eyes.
"Can I kiss you?" his lips tug up as I snicker at his innocent question.
"Will you, please?" I match his teasing expression.
This time I am ready when he smashes his lips into mine. I can't help but kiss him back. Then the feeling of his hands on my body let scenarios invade my conscious. I push him back. "Warren...."
"Hmm?" he hums, only backing away the slightest inch.
"I don't know if this is a good thing," my fingers fixed his suit even though there wasn't a thing wrong with it.
"What do you mean?" He frowns.
"It's just so much that can go wrong. If we don't work out...all the stuff that's going on," I can't bring myself to loo at him so I play with the button on his shit, "the lifestyle you live..."
It's stupid to want to be involved with him. But even when we weren't trouble still lurked. Did it really matter at this point?
"I wouldn't let anything happen to you," his eyes turn cold. His chest rose before he let out a shaky, agitated breath. "And our daughter will always come first."
"I know but..."
"You don't want to?"
I opened my mouth to say something. Looking at him, I shook my head. "No...I just want to take it slow...be careful with this, you know?"
First he looked at me through thin slits. I loo at him with worry. "You don't expect me to stop kissing you, do you?"
His harsh demeanor fell as he smirked at me. I smile, rolling my eyes. "Well?"
"No-" I said before Warren began to kiss my all around my mouth, my jaw and my cheeks. In his arms, I squirm all around. Truly I don't ever want him to let me go.
"Good." He says finally.
I smiled as he kissed on my neck. "Yes," I laugh, "but you won't be happy with what I'm about to tell you."
He frowns, still holding me close. "What are you talking about?"
"I did something..."
Warren waits patiently. I get my words together, scared how he might take this. "I...I agreed to go out with Thomas some night this week..."
"Who- the asshole from Friday? Why the fuck would you do that?" He snaps, but he isn't serious. I smile and pay his chest, pulling away from him.
"I thought I liked him...but it was just the idea of him. I see that now," I admit, "he was my distraction from you. But anyway, I told him we could hang out. Just as friends though. I made that clear to him."
"Kind on jealous," he murmurs, putting his hands on my hips, "how come he gets to spend a night with you? What does he have that I don't? It's the hair isn't it?"
In mock seriousness, he frowns as he pushed his hair back with both hands to resemble the way Thomas slicks his hair back with gel. "Should I? What about braces to get my teeth like his..."
I laugh, pulling his hands down. He cracks a smile. "Please don't ever touch your hair."
"I hate him," he says, "but he's your friend and what-not so..."
I snicker. "Thank you for understanding."
I sit in the bed and take my shoes off. "But you need to promise me some things, I do, too. We've both been treating each other like shit..."
He sits next to me, laying back on my bed. "I'm listening."
"We have to do better at communicating."
I hear him sigh. "That's true, I don't like arguing."
"And I get it, you don't want to involve me in stuff but I'd appreciate it if you just talk to me. Especially about whatever concerns me or the baby."
"Even if it makes you leave?"
I looked back at him. "I don't think I would ever leave. It's not like I don't know what I'm getting into."
"You say that now..."
"I mean it."
Warren puts his hands behind his head. "Will you talk to me now?"
"Yeah, I was just trying to figure stuff out..."
He takes a good look at my face. "You haven't been sleeping."
"I can't," I shake my head.
"You know you can tell me these things..."
"I do," I give him a small smile, "I was just kind of angry with you, and my mind was still all over the place...I just needed space. And I really need to get out of this apartment."
"I can find you a place."
"You don't need to-"
"I'm not offering to pay, I can just make the search a lot quicker and easier," he smirks.
I bite my lip, that's exactly where my mind was going. I didn't want to become dependent on him. And I since we were giving this a shot, I didn't want him to go out of his way more than he already was.
"Okay."
"Come spend the night," he stands up, brushing his hands on his pants.
"What?"
"Come stay with me tonight so you can sleep."
"Uh- I have work," I stutter.
He shrugs. "I can bring you."
Warren pulls me up by both of my hands. "And im not ready to leave you yet," he kisses my softly and it's a shame that I melt into him so fast.
"Okay," I whisper against him, "but I want to take a quick shower again."
"You can shower at the house."
I shake my head. "All I'm going to want to do is go to sleep. I'm going to go ahead and get it out the way. Do you mind waiting?"
"No."
"I'll be quick," I say.
I take some grey sweats and a t-shirt with me to change.
While I freshen up, I think about the choices I've made today. I sat in a car and came up with several excuses as to why I shouldn't give Warren a chance and why Tommy should be the one. I agreed to go out with him after saying I wasn't looking for anything and now I've agreed to take things slow with Warren.
Tommy is a great guy, he deserves the woman of his dreams. And I don't think I can give him what he needs. Honestly, I don't think we fit.
I finish up in the bathroom. Warren isn't in my room anymore, I hear him on the phone in the living room. I successfully ignore him so I don't eavesdrop.
I pack three outfits. Overpacking was something I always did because you never know. I pack a pair of shorts and a hoodie, then jeans and a white tee, with some vans. For work I pack navy pants and a plain black button down. After grabbing a few small things, I go into the living room.
"Not right now...I'll tell her later," Warren stands in the living room with his back towards me, "you just do what I told you to do. I'll handle the rest."
"Tell who what later?" I ask.
He turns around, the phone still to his ear. "I'll call you later, Dante."
"You ready?" His features soften.
"Yep..."
I smile when Warren takes my bag gently from my hand. While I think about the last part of his phone call, I don't make a sound while I follow him through the door.
The air becomes thick and heavy. I bite my tongue, not wanting to ruin the relaxed-or what was relaxed-environment we had before I got in the shower. I figure it would be a little full of my self to assume I was the 'her' he referred to.
So what I do is put in my headphones and listen to some strong, classical music. My favorite thing to do was to close my eyes and picture what strong emotion was radiating off of the notes. A song with no words could be just that emotional, I feel. It could be intense, happy, sad, mysterious...and it can go back and forth between any of them. It was something I used to do when my parents were downstairs in the mist of an argument.
I couldn't hear a thing, not even when Warren climbed into the car, letting in cool air. The city seemed the prettiest at night, a lot of things are prettier in the dark I believe.
In my part of the city, the sidewalk was empty around this time. But wherever Warren was inviting me to stay had older couples walking with big fur coats and kitten heels. Once again I was reminded the difference of where Warren and I had come from. My toes wiggle in my Crocs watching a lady take her poodle on a late night walk. The dog wears better shoes than me...
My head damn near cracks when I bring my cheek to my left shoulder. Something flicks my neck and when I look Warren is pulling his hand back. I scowl at him, pulling a headphone out. Warren's hand comes to sit with mine on my thigh. "Why did you flick me?" I still feel the sensation on my neck.
He doesn't seem phased. "I asked if you wanted to pick up sometime eat."
"No thanks," I look back out the window.
"You aren't skipping meals are you?"
"No," I say to sooth the worry growing on his forehead. "I ate early this evening."
He nods and I continue to listen to my music. The neighborhood is stunning, I've never been this deep uptown before. Every grand house we pass, I wonder which one is his.
Warren pulls in front one particular white brownstone house. My lip rolls into my mouth, not able to take my eyes off the pink flowers near the black door.
I get out the car and when I look back, Warren has my bag on his shoulder. I hold on to the thin railing and I can feel Warren behind me.
While he unlocks the door, I look through the open windows of all the neighbors. I see that his is the only house that is completely sealed tight.
Warren holds the door wide for me. The inside is even better than the outside. I turn on the light to see the honey brown wooden floors. On the left, narrow black stairs take a slight curve going upstairs.
I stair into the round wall mirror that intentionally has a million shards. The walls look like they have just been painted with a fresh white coat.
"I'll show you the bedroom." Warren places one foot on the steps with his hand out for me to take.
He takes his time getting me up the stairs and we finally make it to the second floor after what felt like forever. We follow a long grey, velvet carpet that maps out the routes of the halls. I pass rooms and the house feels dead. It's cold, with untouched furniture, their isn't the slightest dust to be found.
"The bedroom is all yours," Warren drops my bag in the armchair near the large window with a thin curtain. "Anything else you need..."
"Turn the heater on maybe... but I think that's it," I grimace, pulling the sleeves of my jean jacket, looking at the fluffy, baby blue comforter with a white canopy bed frame.
"I will," he clears his throat, "if you need me, I'll be downstairs in the office—handling some business."
"Everything is okay, right?" I subtly ask.
"Yeah- just...get some rest. And please, call or text me, those are a lot of stairs."
I take my jacket off, showing the goosebumps that have still formed on my arms. "Okay..."