Jaxon
I still can't believe I'm back in this hellhole.
A year is not long enough to be away from a place I hate. I wish I was back in Canada, relaxing on my cousin's hammock without a care in the world. But I'm not in Canada nor am I on my cousin's hammock. Instead, I'm in my mom's car heading back to jail—also known as my house in Rose Thorn Heights.
I peel my eyes open and look out the passenger side window. We're almost there, and everything looks familiar to me. The donut shop where the team would go when we won a game, Olive Garden, the sign to go to the beach, the car shop. If we turn right and drive for a bit, we'd see Ty's (my favorite restaurant in the entire town) and eventually, we'd hit Rose Thorn Academy—that's tomorrow's problem though.
"You're up. Did you have a good nap?" My mom glances over to me before her eyes shoot back. I don't miss the way she twists her lips when she realizes she took her eyes off the road for a second.
"It was fine." I lie with more edge to my voice than necessary. I wasn't napping, I was pretending to be elsewhere. Somewhere where my problems don't exist. Somewhere the memories aren't as constant.
"I see your attitude hasn't gotten any better." Her tone isn't harsh, but her words are.
Why did I even think of coming back again? "Sorry to disappoint."
The ride is silent the rest of the way home. She doesn't try anymore, she stopped trying with me right before I left. It's nothing new.
When she picked me up at the airport, we shared a very short and awkward embrace. The tension hasn't left in the year I've been gone. I don't think it'll ever really leave. There will always be that little reminder of what's missing and the knowledge that we won't ever get it back.
When we pull up to the house that I've lived in my whole life, I drag myself out of the car and grab my suitcases before following my mom inside. She tells me that Dad will be home after work, but I don't respond. The last time I saw him, he was throwing my stuff on the lawn and practically begging me to leave. I'm not exactly thrilled to see him. Actually, I'm not exactly thrilled to see anyone.
The scent of the house is the same, the living room, the kitchen, the stairs, everything is exactly the way I left it, right down to the barren walls where photos should be. I see my parents are still struggling with acceptance. I honestly feel like I haven't left at all.
That's what I was most afraid of. The familiarity of coming back to my life in Rose Thorn.
I make my way up to my room and out of habit I glance to the left. To the door next to mine. I thought that habit was long gone, I guess it's not. I almost want to punch myself for looking. But instead of violence, I push my door open and walk in.
My room hasn't changed at all aside from my bed. It's filled with clothes. Clothes that don't belong to me. Looks like Mom went shopping. They're all plaid flannels. I roll my eyes for what feels like the eightieth time today. Before I can toss them in my closet—never to be worn—I get a call from my cousin Allison.
I answer without hesitation. "I hate it here."
A laugh echoes from the other end. "You've been there for—what? Two minutes? Give it some time."
"I want to go back."
"You'll be okay." She tells me. "How's Auntie Kayla and Uncle Lance?"
"Mom barely talked. Dad's working." I shrug even though she can't see me. Silence falls for a minute, and I double check to make sure she's still on the line.
"I miss you already." She finally says. "The house is quiet. Which is weird because you're not exactly the loudest person anyway."
"Then bring me back."
She snorts and then says, "Nice try, but I've got to go. Liam just pulled up and he's in a mood. I'll text you later. Try to have fun and be nice to your parents."
I groan. "Whatever,"
"Goodbye, Jax."
"Bye,"
An hour later, I hear the front door open, a pause, and then footsteps pounding up the stairs. I prepare myself to talk to my dad again. I've only talked to him a few times on the phone since I've been gone, it was always stiff and awkward—like the airport hug with my mom. Now it'll be worse in person. My door bursts open but it's not my dad.
Paxton's bright grin matches his red hair.
"There's the man of the hour!" He exclaims. We do the handshake we've done for years because falling back into old habits is a lot easier than you'd think.
The grin on my face comes without force. Maybe I wanted to see one person. "How'd you know I was here?" I ask sitting back down on to my desk chair. I finished unpacking and have just been sitting around mindlessly scrolling on social media. I'm starting to get hungry, but there's no way I'm going to throw myself in the middle of another conversation with my mom.
"Snap map." My best friend holds up his phone. "Imagine my surprise when I see your little character in California when you're supposed to be in Canada." He makes a face. I could give him an excuse, but there's no point. I was hoping that if I didn't tell anyone, that it wouldn't come true. Plus, Paxton isn't one to hold grudges.
I decide on saying, "It was a last-minute decision."
He starts to reply until he sees the flannel shirts on my bed, and his face lights up. "Hey, these are nice."
He's wearing his own red flannel and I throw my head back with a smirk. "Take them."
"Really?"
"Yeah, whatever," I wave it off.
"Wow. Canada's made you nice."
I roll my eyes. "I've always been nice."
"We should put your skills to the test then. There's a party tonight. We're going."
"I'm not up for partying right now." I throw a hand through my hair. "I've been on a plane for almost six hours, and we start school tomorrow."
"School?" He frowns. "There's gonna be booze and girls at this party. Man, when did you become such a loser?"
I can tell he's only teasing, it's what he does. But that's all I need to hear. No way am I gonna get the "Loser" title this year. "You know what? Screw it. I'm in."
A party is better than hanging around here anyway.
He grabs the handful of shirts. "Good. We can stop by Ty's on the way 'cause I'm starving. You're paying, by the way. You owe me since you showed up without a word." He starts backing out of the room and I follow behind him.
When we're downstairs, my mom eyes the clothes. I already know she's going to have a fit. She'll say something about how she spent money, or how impossible I am.
"Jaxon, may I speak to you?"
"Can it wait till I get back?" But her tight-lipped stare won't let up. I sigh and let Paxton struggle his way out of the house before turning to my mom. "What?"
"I gave those to you."
"Yes, and you know how much I love plaid."
"I didn't give them to you so you could turn around and give them to your friends."
"And I didn't ask for you to buy them. I'll pay you back or whatever." This is such a stupid argument. I don't understand why she's getting so uptight. I'm not that picky when it comes to clothes, but I really don't like plaid and she knows that.
She suddenly slams her hand on the counter, and I step back. Letting out a frustrated noise, she throws her hand through her hair—something we both do out of habit. "I was in the attic the other day and saw a box of old clothes. They belonged to your..." She doesn't finish the sentence, but it's too late. The weight on my chest is pressing down harder than before.
"I'm glad I gave them away then. If this is what I've come back to, I'll leave just as fast." I don't give her time to respond. "I'm heading out."
Unfortunately, my phone is back in my room, so I go up and take the stairs two at a time.
I won't deal with this screwed up family more than I have to. If they start acting crazed again, I'm out of here. As I'm basically running up the stairs, I see that Paxton dropped a shirt. A blue one. I don't know why I didn't notice it before. This really was Connor's. Instead of telling Paxton, or even tossing it out, I tuck it under my pillow.
And just like that, I feel like a child hiding things once again.
~
I pass the dude's house—I already forgot who Paxton said was throwing the party—and park down the street. My uncle and I shipped my mustang back last month and it feels so good to sit in him again. I spent my entire savings to buy him back in Canada. His name is Sirius—like Sirius Black from Harry Potter. Allison named him. I was too lazy to argue with her about a stupid name. And now Sirius is kind of growing on me.
The party house isn't much, but I recognize it as I walk up the driveway. I can already hear the music blasting from here. The neighbors must love that. The garage is wide open. I've been here a couple times. This is the Lawrence's house. The five Lawrence brothers are in a band—Sinister 5 if I remember correctly. Caleb, Justin, Evan, and the twins: Luke and Adrien.
Three of the guys are in the garage pounding on the drums, the keyboard, and the guitar like their life depends on it. When the drummer—Evan—looks up, his eyes light up and the music comes to an abrupt stop.
"What happened to the party?" Paxton visibly slumps.
"Dude, you're like two hours early." Adrien says.
And then Luke's eyes find me. "You're back in town?"
I decide against a snarky remark. These dudes are gonna get drunk in a few. Best not to make them mad. "Yeah."
"You remember us?" Evan asks with a grin.
It's hard to forget anyone in this town. We've all grown up with each other since, like, preschool. But it's even harder to forget the guy that spilled his beer on me sophomore year, while trying to hook up with my girlfriend at the time, while I was right there, I may add. "Yeah. Sinister 5, right?"
Paxton nods. "Caleb and Justin decided to focus on college for now. The band is looking for two more members."
"Speaking of new members," Evan grins widely, and his brown hair falls over his eyes. He's in need of a haircut. "Where's Olivia?"
"Don't worry, you can twist my sister's arm about joining your band tonight. She'll be here later." Paxton guides me to a raggedy couch that I'm sure hasn't been cleaned in years. I hesitate to sit on it. I honestly feel like I'm going to get STD's just being near it, but Paxton drags me down anyway.
Evan, Luke, and Adrien end up asking if we want to hear a short preview of something they've been working on.
Now, I didn't know when I agreed that a "short preview" was actually two freaking hours.