SPEED POV:
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It's been 3 months since Ben ghosted me. We had such a good streak going on, our relationship had really taken off. We were always happy to talk to each other and made so many memories. I have every one of them written down to remember. Yet just like that he ghosted me and acted like I never mattered to him. I've sent him text after text, called him day after day, nothing. I'll never forget the way my heart sank realizing this might truly be the end of our relationship. I've cried and prayed everyday since then but so far, nothing. I'm trying to have hope but it's hard.
A few weeks ago I found a video of Ben laughing and borderline flirting with Tom as if I never existed. I cried all night. Nobody understands what me and Ben had. They always tell me "move on" or "you'll find someone better". I don't want someone better. I want Ben. I worked so hard to get our relationship to where it was and it all fell apart. I'll never be able to let go.
BEN POV:
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I'm worried. Speed hasn't tried to text or call me in while. I really hope he doesn't think I don't love him. I really geniunely do. I don't know why I stopped talking to him, he didn't do anything wrong. I guess I was just worried that sooner or later we would go back to fighting like we used to. And believe me when I say I NEVER want to do that again. I know Speed misses me. I know Speed is upset. But I can't bring myself to talk to him. I don't wanna get his hopes up if it doesn't work out.
Apparently he's been talking about me to Black Ben. Black Ben told him not to blame himself, which is true. That's exactly what I wanna tell him. I really hope he can take that advice. I love Speed. Love him more than anyone. If I ever see him in public I will give him the biggest hug. I'll be the first to admit he doesn't deserve this. But at the same time I don't know if seeing him would be the best thing. I've been trying to shoot my shot with Tom lately. I don't know if I like him or what, but I want to feel love again. I want to be excited to see somebody again. I'm not sure who to choose, but Speed will always have a special place in my heart.