Anwar can't help but let out a deep breath while waiting for Analyn in his car. Nasa loob pa ang babae at may kinukuha pa daw na mga gamit bago sila pumunta sa site. Mas mainam nga na natagalan ito dahil kailangan niya ng iilang minuto para sa sarili niya.
He found out about his past life back when he turned 20. At first, he just brushed off the dreams that kept on haunting him every night. He just assumed that it was a mere result of his active, teenager-turning-to-young-adult mind. Years passed and all those dreams started piling up and then he finally realized that it wasn't just dreams, it was his memories.
Gulong-gulo siya noon kung ano ba ang mga memories na nakikita niya. It wasn't just simple memories, all of it was dated back in the 1500s. Mga panahon pa ng mga Datu, Rajah at unang pananakop ng mga Kastila.
He was so confused, so fucking lost. Not until a man named Sidapa went up and introduced himself to him. Ito ang nagpaliwanag sa kaniya ng lahat. Ang sabi nito ay mga alaala niya sa unang buhay niya ang kaniyang napapaginipan. He doesn't want to believe in reincarnation but that was what Sidapa told him that was happening right now. Kaya naman tinanong niya ito kung nasaan ang asawa niya sa past life niya.
Sidapa helped him find Analyn, his beloved wife. Tinulungan siya nito at ngayon nga'y nagpapanggap siyang investor sa archaelogical project ng dating asawa upang mapalapit dito. Maraming nagtataka kung bakit niya ginagawa ito ngunit wala naman siyang mapagsabihan ng nangyayari sa kaniya ngayon. He just wanted to be with his wife.
Every second with her was torture. He kept on fighting himself not to touch her because he knew he couldn't. Asawa niya ito ngunit sa past life nila iyon, hindi ngayon. She doesn't remember him. She doesn't remember the memories that they had as a married couple. Wala siyang karapatan sa babae.
But he was here to change that.
Gagawin niya ang lahat upang makuhang muli ang loob nito. Babawi siya sa kaniyang asawa. Sisiguraduhin niyang hindi na nito maaalala ang lahat ng mga masasamang bagay na ginawa niya noon. He would ensure that she would never ever remember Datu Anwar and the torture he did to her.
"Kinakausap ka na niya?" His head suddenly whirled on the passenger seat and saw Sidapa, the God of the Afterlife, materializing next to him. Sa ilang ulit na nitong ginawa iyon sa kaniya ay natuto na siyang huwag magulat at magtaka. Gods like Sidapa can suddenly emerge anywhere they want.
Malakas na naman siyang bumuntung-hininga bago ito sinagot. "I can't exactly say that we are close but . . . we are not strangers anymore. That's a nice start, right?" balita niya dito. Sidapa has always been here with him, helping him with his plans to be close with Analyn.
"Nice start" wasn't really the best way to describe what was happening to them now. He just suddenly kissed her without warning when his eyes first landed on that familiar innocent eyes of hers. He can't help himself because the last time that he saw her was 501 years ago. Hindi naman niya siguro kasalanan kung ang kauna-unahang maisip niya nang masilayan ang pagmumukha ng kaniyang asawa ay halikan ito.
"Huwag mo siyang biglain, Anwar," pagpapaalala sa kaniya ni Sidapa bago siya seryosong tinitigan. "Tandaan mo, hindi ka pa niya kilala dito. Wala siyang naaalala sa nakaraan niyo. Hindi niya alam na mag-asawa kayo noon."
"I know . . ." nanghihinang sang-ayon niya dito. He doesn't know if he should be happy or frustrated that she doesn't remember what happened in their past life. Pero siguro ay mas mainam na magpasalamat pa siya sa Diyos dahil sa sitwasyon nito ngayon.
Analyn shouldn't know what happened before. Hindi dapat nito malaman na pinatay niya ito.
Yes, he killed his wife in their past life.
Sometimes oblivion is better than the truth. She shouldn't suffer the same way as he did now. Every waking day felt like hell for him. Remembering all those memories with her, how happy they were as a married couple. All of it . . . he can remember. Pero hindi lahat ng mga ala-alang natatandaan niya ay magaganda at masasaya.
He remembered when it all started.
He remembered meeting her for the first time, finding her annoying but then eventually falling in love with her.
He remembered marrying her, raising their twin daughters, and leading the tribe as equals.
All of those happy memories were still engraved in his mind. He would never forget them because those were the best moments of his life. It was Sidapa who gave his memories back from his past life as Datu Anwar. Dahil rin doon ay unti-unti niyang natandaan kung ano ang ginawa niya sa asawa.
He remembered when the suspicions started.
He remembered when the secret killings in the tribe started. As the leader, it was up to him to know and find out what was happening. Kaya naman nagpaimbestiga siya. Wala silang lead kung papaano nakakapasok at nakakapatay ang mga banyagang Kastila sa kanilang tribo. Kahit nga ang mga plano nilang pag-ambush sa mga ito ay alam na ng mga ito. That was when he realized that the white people must have a spy inside. Naging mas strikto siya sa mga pinagkakatiwalaan, hindi niya hinahayaang maraming makaalam sa kanilang plano ngunit ganuon pa rin ang nangyayari sa kanila. Walang pinagbago.
He was having a hard time defending his tribe because he doesn't know who was the thorn among them, not until Hadil told him about Analyn's suspicious actions. Noong una ay ayaw niyang maniwala kaya naman siya na mismo ang bumuntot sa asawa. She would sometimes leave their house, nervously looking at the surroundings before suddenly disappearing. Hindi niya iyon pinansin noon ngunit nang siya na mismo ang sumunod sa asawa ay nakita niya itong may kausap na Kastila.
That was when everything fell into place in his head. Analyn was always present at every tribe meeting, she knew every plan that they formulated, and she knew all their weaknesses. Lagi niyang sinisigurado na hindi mararamdaman ng kaniyang asawa na mahina ito. Hindi nito nais na nasa dilim pagdating sa digmaang nangyayari kaya naman hinahayaan niya itong dumalo sa kanilang mga pagpupulong.
His love for her became his weakness.
Matapos matuklasan ang pangtratraydor nito sa kanila ay agad siyang nag-isip ng paraan upang maligtas ang asawa. Alam niyang papatayin ito ng mga ka-tribo niya sakaling matuklasan ng mga ito ang katotohanan. He can't let that, but not a day after he found out about the truth, they were suddenly attacked. Hindi lamang simpleng pag-atake iyon sapagkat maraming mga Kastilang lumusob sa kanila. They were vulnerable at that time because it was a special occasion that was intended for worship. Hindi man sabihin ng iba ngunit alam niyang si Analyn ang nagsabi sa mga puting iyon ang patungkol sa araw kung saan hindi sila gaanong handa.
He tried saving everyone, but he wasn't able to save his family. Datu Dalapati, his father was killed with a sword stabbed in his chest. Akim, Kahali, and their youngest Mayan were also killed. All three of them were brutally murdered with a slice in their necks.
He remembered seeing their dead body, remembered how he got down on his knees and cried, remembered when his eyes can only see red. Ang tanging nasa isipan niya lamang ay patayin ang taong naging dahilan ng pagkamatay ng kaniyang pamilya.
Inutusan niya ang mga natitirang tauhan na dakpin si Analyn at ikulong. Tanda niya pa ang pagmamakaawa ng asawa nang dalawin niya ito sa pinagkulungan dito. He remembered her tears and her pleas, remembered how many times she said that she didn't do anything.
But he didn't listen.
All he could see was red and all he wanted to do was kill her.
Dumating ang araw ng paghuhukom nito at napatunayang ito nga ang nagtraydor sa kanila. Pinatawan ito ng hatol na kamatayan at bilang pinuno ng tribong iyon ay tungkulin niyang bigyan ng leksyon ang sino mang magnanais na saktan ang sino man sa kinasasakupan niya.
They tied her up and forced her to stand in the middle where everyone can see her punishment. Tanda pa niya ang nanginginig nitong patpatin na katawan. Ilang linggo rin nilang hindi pinakain ang babae kaya naman halos hindi na nito kayang buhatin ang sarili.
She looked at him with pleading eyes and kept on muttering that she didn't do anything wrong and they were all making a huge mistake. He just returned it with cold eyes and a stone-hard heart. Hindi niya ininda ang malakas nitong mga hikbi at mga luhang tila talon sa patuloy na pag-agos. He just lifted up his bow upon hearing the declaration of her punishment and unhesitantly released the arrow into her heart.
He remembered the same exact minute when she started feeling the pain, remembered when she slowly fell to her knees and how she tried to stay upright using her hands. He remembered when she finally fell down to the hard, dusty ground and remembered how she forced all the remaining energy that she has just to be able to look at him and whisper the words, "Mahal kita."
Hindi niya ito pinansin at walang pakialam na tumalikod. Iniwan niya ang babaeng pinakamamahal na naghihingalo at lumalangoy sa sariling dugo. He turned his back on her.
He thought that he would feel better after her punishment, but he didn't. Ayaw na siyang lapitan ng dalawa niyang anak na babae at ni si Salam na kaniyang natitirang buhay na kapatid ay ayaw na siyang kausapin.
He felt shit afterwards. Her death became his downfall. Hindi na niya kayang mag-concentrate sa mga nangyayari sa tribo at palagi na lamang siyang galit sa lahat. He changed. That was what they said.
He doesn't care about their opinion, not until she saw a glimpse of a woman standing menacingly amongst the people. May nakatabon sa mukha nito kaya naman hindi niya kaagad nakita kung sino iyon, ngunit nang unti-unti nitong tanggalin ang takip ay tila ba binuhusan siya ng malamig na tubig.
The woman has the same face and physique as Analyn, but the wicked smirk on her face told her that it was not his wife. Before he could do something, the woman suddenly disappeared into the crowds. Doon na niya napagtanto na mali siya ng pag-aakala. Hindi ang kaniyang asawa ang nahuli niyang nakikipag-usap sa mga kalaban nila, hindi ito ang trumaydor sa kanila.
His tears started falling upon realizing all of it. Walang alinlangan siyang tumakbo sa lugar kung saan binitay nila ang patay na katawan ng asawa. It was a custom to hang the body of a traitor as a show to other people that they won't tolerate anyone. Dali-dali niyang pinababa ang asawa at iniyakan iyon nang mapagtanto na pinatay niya ito kahit pa man wala itong ginawang masama. He cried like a lost boy, but it was not enough to bring back his wife.
She was dead, and he was the one who killed her.
Biglang naputol ang kaniyang pagtatanaw-balik nang marinig ang pagbukas ng pintuan ng passenger seat. Napalingon siya doon at nakita ang nakangiting mukha ni Analyn na pumasok habang dala-dala ang mga gamit nito. Wala na si Sidapa sa loob ng sasakyan at mukhang umalis na nang makitang malalim ang kaniyang iniisip.
"So sorry at natagalan akong kunin ang bag ko sa loob. Nakalimutan ko kasi kung saan ko nailagay yung mga notes ko. Hinanap ko pa. Oh! By the way, tumawag sina Cherry sa akin kanina at sabi nila ay nauna na sila sa site para masimulan na ang clean-up at nagsisimula na rin silang mag-shovel test pits. Kapag natapos na doon ay diretso naman tayo sa paggamit ng GPS, resistivity meters, at ground penetrating radars," walang tigil nitong sabi habang nilalagay ang bag sa may back seat at inayos ang seat belt nito. Siya naman ay nakatutok lamang sa magandang mukha nito.
He missed her . . . very much.
Mukhang napansin naman nito ang walang tigil niyang pagtitig sa mukha nito dahil naguguluhan siya nitong tinignan pabalik bago nag-ika, "Sir Anwar, may problema po ba?"
She never changed. Even after 500 years, she was still this lovely woman that he fell in love with.
"I'm sorry . . ." he whispered. "If I can change everything, then I would turn back time just to save you."
(Analyn's Execution Ground)
(Guide for your Imagination. This is an AI-generated art)