3 am on Monday morning...
At 3 am, my phone beeped. It was a stupid reminder about a Yoga class I signed for and skipped after attending a few weeks. I don't have that athletic, fitness freak bone in me. Roms always told me that I needed to grow into that bone, and the f-f bone doesn't evolve all by itself, especially when your childhood dream was to binge-watch The Office in one weekend. But the amusement from The Office gave me the guts to sit through these awful lot of manuscripts and get done with them. I couldn't wait to sleep. The only couch unoccupied was the one in the common hall. Beggars don't get to be choosers, so I will just lay there and fall dead for three hours.
The last manuscript looked catchy. It had a leather binder. No titles. No author name. The very first page of it just had only one initial E. Interesting. To read someone else's story in a private space with the night closing on your urge to fight sleep and make it to the other page was a sweet romance. The next thing close to it was self-sabotage. Whoever was the author of this manuscript had handwritten it in cursive font with black pen on glossy, white sheets. By the quality of the paper, I can tell you that this person had made a special effort to preserve all the writing he had done.
Page 1
January 18
...She is gone. Too far for me to call her back and as if it wasn't worse she has forgotten about us altogether. Every day I go, visit her, and carry on with the horrible day at work. Her thoughts mask my head as if they are everything that I need. It's silly that we realize all that we had was important only after it's lost. I miss her. I want her to come back. Every moment, every second, I want her back.
Was this a manuscript? What kind of joke was it? Okay, one more page won't do any harm. Will it?...
Page 12
March 4th
...I saw her today. She doesn't even know the things she does to me. She still wears that sexy red shade on her lips. I picture us together, sitting somewhere in the heart of Fordshire, staring at her all day as she smiles. Her smile is just the way I remember it to be. Her cheeks break into these dimples when her eyes are full of life, and then all I can think of is pure joy. She is pure joy. But she's not mine anymore. What we had was easy for her to forget. It hurts me to my core to know that there are no reminders of me. Was my love always without merit for her?...
Page 13
March 5th
...She hates wearing pencil skirts! Good heavens, and here I thought she looked like a goddess, I'd better keep that bit to myself. She is moody and pouts a little when she is angry. She doesn't even know the kind of cute faces she makes when she's angry. I love teasing her, but the bitter reality is that she is the one who's teasing my heart. Not able to tell her everything drives me crazy. Maybe this is what it feels like to fall in love...You get hurt, or you don't. There's no middle in it, all this breaking and that one person who holds you together, drifting away into oblivion. I am ruined. Way too ruined in love, but isn't it always this way? ...
Page 14
March 5th
...We went out for dinner today. God! Could I tell her how beautiful she looked? Maybe not. All the time I wanted to kiss her, and had to spend every ounce of my will not to; kept me on edge. Then she tells me she broke one of the sole souvenirs she had given me. It was the only thing that reminded me that we existed...
I was reading someone's love rant. I can say it's romantic but the lack of sleep was driving me crazy. Some other day I would think I am prying into someone's private business but this looked like one hell of juicy gossip. Just one more page and then maybe I can keep it down.
Page 25
March 10
...She is working on the same team with that blue-eyed jerk, Josh! The guts he has to storm into my office and say he will steal her away from me. That bastard...
...I am not ready to answer the chair yet. I hope she doesn't fall for him. I miss her badly on days like these...
Oh boy! What the hell? I rubbed my eyes to see whether it read Josh. The dates were recent, and Josh was somehow involved in this? I turned to another page without thinking.
Page 28
March 12
... today, we kissed. In the elevator! Now I know she hates me. Her aversion to my touch torments me to the moment. Do I mean nothing to her? Every time I look at her brown eyes, I feel the same love that we shared. Is it all faded? Is it still there? I wish it all comes back, so badly, I want it all back. I want her back...
My eyes grew wide as I read through it. Not only was this someone's rant, but this person was a co-worker! There's a one-sided love! My heart warmed a little, and I was already singing love songs. Office romance! There's nothing as entertaining as watching real-life romance blossom.
But who's the Romeo? And this oblivious Juliet? Why was Josh after some red lipstick-wearing, brown-eyed chic? Maybe, if I am lucky enough, I will get to the end of this romance. Was this going to be like one of 'The Notebook' romances? I couldn't help but swoon at the thought of it.
If I want Josh and me to end together, I must ensure this love story gets a better end!
But how am I supposed to find Romeo with a few pages of out-worldly confessions?
With another yawn, I knew I could continue to rummage through the minute details when I felt awake. Just like that, I didn't know when I dozed off to sleep.