Ariel
Recap: Ariel remembered who she was and learned that it was her mother's spirit being held in Riannon as a vessel that orchestrated most of the events and protected her in the end. She decided to keep that a secret from Kai, and everyone continued to find the truth behind the Order's operations. Kaidon when celebrating Ariel's birthday with her, managed to find out the truth of her identity.
***
"Mom!"
"What's the matter, Ariel? Calm down. Tell me what happened?"
My eyes flickered towards the main door that just flung open. Sey and Alex stomped in. I stared at them, and all they could do was shake their heads in denial.
"Mom, did Kai say anything about where he was headed?" I tried hard to mask the distress in my voice, but I couldn't. He had disconnected abruptly. Initially, I thought it was a network error, but I couldn't get through to him again. We waited a few hours, but neither did he contact us nor return. The phone was switched off. His location couldn't be tracked, and Sey and Alex had just returned after making a trip to his office, and he wasn't there either.
"I- Is he not home yet?"
I shook my head, barely able to get any words out. I dreaded this all along. Someone had wanted him dead for a while.
What if he was ambushed? What if Gilaan took an opportunity to strike? I... I-
"Ariel, I am sure he is alright." I heard my mom's reassuring voice. "Don't panic. It's barely been a few hours since he left. Perhaps he got caught up somewhere. I'll request your dad to ask around, okay? Do you want to come home, sweetie?"
Even though I knew she wasn't my mother, her words still carried the uncanny ability to calm my nerves. I hadn't realised I had somehow slid down on the floor already, my fingers clutching onto the fabric of the couch.
I lifted my head up to stare at Rihanna, hoping she had some news to offer. She had taken the initiative to ask around the hospitals. I felt a sinking feeling inside when she shook her head as well.
"I-I'll be there, Mom."
We split up and decided to look for him through various sources. While Rihanna continued to inquire around the hospitals, Alex was working closely with the team at the Order, and Sey took the onus to reach out to their underground network. I, meanwhile, decided to go back home and ask for help from my family.
I was hoping we had nothing to worry about, but something felt ominous about all this.
I tossed the money to the driver on the front seat and sprinted out of the cab without bothering to collect the change. It was late at night, but my mother was already out in the front yard, pacing about, waiting to welcome me.
Her steps hurried towards me as she noticed me, and her arms opened wide to embrace me. I clung on to her tight, letting her body heat surround me. She gently caressed my back while my breathing slowed down gradually.
"Your grandpa is asleep already. Thankfully, your dad had a guest, and he was awake. I have explained it to him already, and he is on it. Don't worry, kiddo. We'll find him."
It would be hard for her to understand the gravity of the situation because she had no clue about the kind of life we led and the dangerous path we tread every single day. Our identities were protected, but it wasn't beyond someone with the right resources to find us. Kai was the next head-to-be of the Order, giving us all the more reason to be worried.
She helped me inside the house and seated me on the dining table before returning to the kitchen to make me some hot coffee. As soon as she left my line of sight, I sprinted up the stairs towards my father's room. I couldn't discuss this with mom around. We were not allowed to mention anything about the Order to her.
I stood outside his room, my fisted hand frozen in the air. I couldn't bring myself to knock on the door. Ever since I regained my memories, I had avoided them like the plague. Mom was the only person I could meet without hesitation.
Whatever arrangement they made to label me as their daughter was with Sey. I had never known any details. I had asked Sey not to reveal it to anyone, but perhaps they knew already. Maybe once I knock on this door, the person I meet inside will not be my so-called father anymore. He would not smile at me or hug me like he did for the last five years. I was scared, my hand trembling.
The sound of foreign laughter from inside his study room woke me up from my trance.
"You really are putting in a lot of effort for someone who isn't even your real daughter."
That voice...
"I hope you don't have any part to play in the Cross boy going missing today, Gilaan."
Gi-Gi-Gilaan? What is he...?
"It wasn't one of my men who targeted the crown prince."
What?
Then it really was them? They tried to get him killed?
The weight of that realisation was hard for my feet to bear, and they gave away. I fell down on my knees right outside his door. Things went silent, and I wasn't sure if they heard me. I wanted to lift myself up, but my mind was flooded with various questions I had no answer to.
Someone grabbed me and muffled my mouth from behind. I would have screamed if I didn't recognise the familiar scent of my brother's cologne. Griffin was here, and he didn't want me to hear more than what I already had.
I held my breath in as he pulled me around the corner, keeping a firm grip on my mouth all this time. We waited, and I heard the door click open.
"I guess I was just hearing things."I heard my father's voice before the door shut close again.
Griffin sighed in relief, releasing his hold on me, and I stepped away from him.
"Griff-"
"Shh!"
He grabbed my wrist and dragged me along towards his room. I had a million questions circling in my head. I wasn't sure if I could even trust him to give me the truth. If I had felt like a stranger before with my memories lost, I felt more like it after gaining them back. It was like everyone was tied up in a vast conspiracy, and the whole concept of family didn't exist any more. I couldn't trust anyone.
It was all a lie... but why? Why did they agree to keep me? Was it because I could someday be Kai's weakness?
Was it all a lie, Griffin?
He let go of my wrist once we were inside his room. My fingers curled up on my side, trying to hold my anxiety in. I didn't know how I was supposed to act any more.
"How much of it did you hear, Alice?"
He knows.
"Don't be surprised." He answered my unasked question as he stepped away from me towards his closet, his back turned to me. "One touch was enough to look into Seydon's past and learn that. If you really wanted to hide it from me, you shouldn't have invited me to Alex's birthday party."
"Then why didn't you-"
"The very reason we adopted you in the first place." He pulled something out of the closet and tossed it down on the floor.
They were photographs—lots of them. I crouched down and picked one up, recognising the picture from my mother's wallpaper on her phone. There were several other pictures, and I skimmed through them. They were all happy pictures of the same person who was supposed to be Ariel.
"She was my elder sister. She was five when she died. I never got to meet her."
My eyes shot up in disbelief. Ariel wasn't just an identity created for me. She wasn't just a figment of my mother's imagination. She was a real person.
Things made sense to me now. All the puzzle pieces fit in. Gianna Ford lost her daughter. It was the reason for her panic attacks and her reaction. For her treatment. She couldn't bear the pain of the loss of her daughter. She never knew what her daughter might have looked like as an adult. It was just convenient to label me as her.
Exactly as I had pieced the story together, Griffin continued, "My mother lost her mind after her death. She blamed the Order. She blamed us for sending her precious child away as a hostage to the Crosses."
That statement hit like a punch to the gut. A five-year-old child was a hostage, and then she died. How much more cruel could they get?
"Ariel supposedly died in an accident, but there are no accidents. They did it. We were at war, and it was their move. My father wanted to fight tooth and nail, but his sister- your mother, Alice, she was against it, and when father discovered she wanted to get married to one of those Crosses, he decided to break all ties with her."
"And then he just went ahead and colluded with Gilaan?" I asked him, flabbergasted. One supposed evil does not justify colluding with another!
It was him! It was Landon Ford that day, the person who made that terrorist attack happen at our college! The person working behind the scenes to get Gilaan released.
"Those bastards aren't what they appear, Alice! They want to keep us under their thumb. The Crosses cannot be trusted. Especially the Chairman. He is up to something. We have all been betrayed by them!"
"Kai would never-"
"An apple doesn't fall far from its tree. He is going to become the same someday. That's the weight you must carry to run a place like The Order with an iron grip. He will make that choice someday."
My fingers grazed along the contours of the photographs. She looked happy. Ariel, Gianna, Landon. They were all a happy family. It made me think of my mother. We were all a happy family as well. So many memories destroyed, our futures all in peril now.
I didn't realise that I had started hyperventilating. I felt a constricted feeling in my heart. I struggled to breathe, and my eyes couldn't stop the tears flowing down.
"Alice!" His terrified voice echoed through my ears, but all my mind could think of were the possibilities that could have materialised if we weren't born in the middle of this blood war.
He pulled me into a tight embrace, gently caressing the back of my head.
"It's not your fault, Alice..." His voice cracked as he tightened his hold. "I am sorry it had to be this way."
A knock from outside the door alerted the two of us. Only when we heard our mother's voice did we release a heave of relief.
"Griffin, is Ariel in there with you?"
Griffin put his index finger to his lips, silently requesting me not to reveal it to her. The last time she saw me with a different look, she had a terrible reaction to it.
Griffin trusted me to carry on the facade, and I would. I had no qualms against this woman. She had only ever been kind to me. She was the mother I had always wanted. I could never betray her love.
I took a deep breath and wiped the tears away from my eyes. I pushed all the grief and shock aside for later. I could get away with saying I was worried about Kai, but I didn't want her getting panicked in the process.
"Mom, I am here." My voice did crack a bit, but I managed to sound normal.
Griffin hurried to the door and swung it open for her. She was carrying a small tray with two cups of warm coffee and a concerned look on her face. I instantly felt guilty.
"Mom, you didn't have to. You could have asked one of the maids to-." Mother ignored Griffin's protest and walked past him towards the nightstand. She settled the tray on the same and then turned back to me.
"Have faith in us, honey. We'll find him. I am sure he is alright." She grabbed my hands and gave them a gentle squeeze. For her, I was her dear daughter, the person she doted on so much. I felt guilty for lying to her, to this kind person who wanted nothing but just a happy and quiet life for her kids. I felt guilty for taking advantage of her unsuspecting nature. But I still wanted her in my life. I wanted to be comforted by her, even if it was a lie. The least I could do was return the same happiness to her by pretending to be her daughter.
I nodded and turned my lips up in a small smile, acknowledging her encouragement.
The sound of my phone's ringtone distracted us all. Hoping to see his face in the caller ID, I immediately pulled my phone out of my back pocket, only to realise it was Rihanna. She probably wanted to give me an update.
"He-"
"Ariel! He's here! We decided to meet back at his place, and he was there!"
I hauled in a long breath of relief, my eyes instantly watering at the happy news. He was safe. My horrors didn't materialise, and I couldn't be happier.
My mother probably noticed the brightness on my face because her eyes lit up as well. Releasing the long breath, I spoke, "Is he alright? Where was he?"
"Ariel, can you please come back like right now?" Her voice had an edge of panic to it, and my paranoia began welling up again.
"What-what's the matter?"
"Kai, Sey, stop it, please!" I heard her scream. "Ariel, please, quick!"
She hung up, and I was left in a daze. I knew not what that was about, and my puzzled expression made my mother concerned.
What the hell is happening over there?
"Alice."
I hadn't realised the car had stopped a few blocks away from Kai's place. I was lost in thought. I wasn't even sure when I agreed to let Griffin drop me back home. I had too much to consider that night. There was no way I would ever leave Kai's side, but I didn't want to abandon my family either. My mother didn't want that. She wanted no war. She wanted to unite everyone, but that possibility seemed too far-fetched at this moment.
"You'll always have a place in the Ford family, Alice," Griffin mumbled, gently squeezing my fingers. "I am not going to be my father. I don't care if you are in love with one of them. All that matters to me is that you be safe."
I know that already, stupid brother.
I had never once doubted my relationship with Griffin. Even though it was all a lie, the bonds we forged in the last five years were real. Even if he wasn't my real brother, he hadn't acted anything less.
"Was it really the Fords who planned Kai's assassination that day?"
"You may choose to believe it or not, but what I told you before still remains my answer. It was one of our men, but we never ordered it."
I believed him. I did for real, but they were also colluding with the most dangerous enemy of The Order, the man who tried to kill me. Perhaps this arrangement was what got me off his hit list.
"But would you? Would you be the one to strike him down in the future?"
I could feel the warmth from his fingers vanish as he considered my question. My neck swivelled up to the side to look at him while his eyes remained glued to the road ahead.
"I would, if he does anything to put my family in danger, I wouldn't hesitate to pull my sword at him." Turning his head to meet his gaze with mine, he continued, "And my family includes you too, Alice."
We heard the commotion before we even reached the main gate. I hopped off before Griffin could turn the engine off and noticed Alex and Rihanna at the front door. Rihanna had a panicked look on her face and tried to break free from Alex's grip on her wrist.
"Alex, let me go! Someone needs to stop them!"
"You cannot do anything about it, Rihanna. You'll only end up getting hurt in the process."
Alex was visibly shocked to see me there, and noticing the look of disbelief on his face, Rihanna also turned around.
"Ariel!" She somehow managed to loosen her hand from his grasp and sprinted towards me, her eyes on the verge of tears. "Kai! Stop him, please! I don't know what happened to him! He suddenly appeared and started punching Sey!"
What the hell?
I scrambled towards the front door, ignoring Alex's attempt to hold me back. I barely heard Griffin call out my name, but Kai held priority at that moment. Something was wrong, and I needed to fix it.
I stopped in my trail right when I entered the house and noticed the living room was a mess. Then, my eyes darted towards the two men in question. Kai had Sey backed on a wall, one hand tightly grabbing his shirt collar while the other trying to choke the life out of him. The scene left me horrified and drained all the blood off my face. I wanted to scream, but I couldn't find my voice.
"How dare you!" I heard him grumble while Sey struggled to push him away, his face turning pale, his lips bleeding with the punch he must have taken. "How dare you keep her away from me?"
Sey found the strength to shove him away. Kai fell back on the floor while Sey bent forward on his knees, coughing hard, trying to catch his breath.
"Kaidon, listen to me-"
Kai was quick on his feet and landed another punch to his face. Sey barely managed to cushion the fall against the wall at his back, and before he could regain his balance, Kai pushed him down on the floor.
"You lied to me, you bastard!"
"You were the one who couldn't protect her!"
"You call yourself my brother?" Kai's accusatory voice also had an edge of sadness to it. He felt betrayed, as if pleading to Sey to give him an excuse so he could forgive him.
No way...
He... knows...?
"I saved her!"
"You let me torment myself with the guilt of her death for the last five years when she lived right next to you!" He screamed at the top of his voice, running a shiver down my spine. He wasn't merely angry. He was enraged beyond control, engulfed in the fury of getting backstabbed by the only person he trusted in his family.
Would he blame me, too?
He forced him up and pulled his arm back to launch another punch to his face, but my scream froze him in his tracks. I found the strength to let the words out despite the dryness in my throat.
"Stop it, Kai!"
It was enough to get his attention to me. It was as if my voice was a trigger to wake him up from his trance. My breathing escalated. I could hear my heartbeat in my head. Blood rushed to my cheeks, raising my body temperature by another degree.
I watched as he tried to turn his face to meet my eyes, but he couldn't. He hesitated and turned his head away. His lips quivered slightly, and I knew the agony was replaced with guilt. At that moment, I knew he blamed me not in the slightest. He only ever blamed himself - for my death, for breaking my heart, for failing to recognise me, and in the end, choosing to let me go. Everything came rolling down on him like an avalanche, and he was suffocating.
I don't have much time. I need to save him.
He let go of Sey, and as if he suddenly lost all strength in his body, he fell down on the floor on his knees, with his back against the wall, his head cast down in defeat. His hair was dishevelled, his clothes were wrinkled, and his body was perspiring. I didn't fail to notice the slight water that was threatening to seep down the corner of his eyes.
Sey managed to get himself up to the floor, holding his arm as he slowly walked past me. I watched him with sympathy while he gave me a mocking smile. The pain was evident in his eyes. He knew this would happen someday. No matter how much he had mentally prepared himself for it, that betrayed look he must have received from Kai must have broken his heart. I understood him and his actions; I was grateful, in fact, but Kai would probably find it hard to forgive him.
I tried to reach out, but he stepped away and nodded towards Kai instead. "He needs you right now."
"I am - I am..." I barely managed the words past my quivering lips. It was all my fault. I made a selfish request of him. I was the weak one. I caused this rift to emerge between the brothers.
I am sorry... Sey...
He scoffed as he ruffled my hair and then cried in pain, his bleeding lips making it hard for him to laugh.
The door shut behind us, and I rushed to Kai's aid, gently lowering myself to my knees before him.
"Kai..."
"Tsk..." he barely uttered before turning his face away. He lifted his hand and let his fingers grapple the ends of his hair.
"Kai, I-"
He finally managed to muster the courage to face me, to meet his gaze with mine, and my heart broke to see the flurry of tears at the corner of his eyes. His lips quivered, but words failed him. The guilt evident in his eyes told me he wanted to apologise but didn't find that enough. It was my first time I had ever seen him cry. He always pretended to be a strong person ever since I met him, never revealing his broken self to me. He never let me witness him in his lows, always acting as my crutch. It was only as Ariel that I managed to get a glimpse past the crack in his armour, and as Alice... he finally broke apart before me this day... I had stretched this man too far.
"I don't deserve you, Alice..." Like a petulant little child, he barely managed to get past the lump in his throat as the water continued to trail down the corner of his eyes. I leaned in further and let my fingers cover either side of his cheeks. I felt the warmth that his sadness and agony exuded.
I heard the soft sound of a vehicle outside, and soon, the sound drifted off into the distance. The others had left. They probably wanted to give us some space. At that moment, no one else mattered to me except him, and everyone was well aware. Now that the cat was out of the bag, we needed time to process this. We needed to be alone with each other. I needed to be with him, to reassure him that he was my world.
"Kai,... it's my fault. I hid it from you." I hoped that would lower his guilt if he learned I was in it, but it only made him more miserable.
"I failed... I failed to protect you... I-I failed to recognise you...said horrible things to you..." he lowered his gaze and stared at his trembling hands as if wanting to chop them off. "I treated you like-"
"Kai..." my voice broke with the tears that built up in my throat. It hurt to see him break apart like this. Perhaps this was what it meant to truly love someone... to experience the pain they go through, to want to take up all the suffering and blame just so they could become happier... This was precisely the reason I never wanted him to learn the truth. It was my burden to bear. Mine alone. I was prepared to live my life out as Ariel forever. Because I wasn't sure if I could bring him back to me anymore if he learned the truth.
If I could convince him that we were still as strong as ever....
"Kai, I chose to break up with you that day. It's all my fault! If anything, you should be blaming me-"
"I brought you to this side of the world! You were my responsibility, Alice! And I failed you! Just how I failed my mother! This is my curse! This is a curse for all the men in my family! We fail the love of our lives! EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. TIME!"
I wasn't sure if he was sad, disappointed or enraged. Perhaps his temper seethed at the awareness of his helplessness.
"I am here... aren't I, Kai?"
"And I wasn't the one who-"
I was aware that his mind was in turmoil, and he needed to calm down first before he could even listen to me. I needed to simmer his self-hatred for his love to surface again. At that moment, hence, I did what I thought was the best. I inched closer and let my lips meet with his. He needed to understand that I defied my destiny and chose him. I picked him even when I had no memories, and I'd continue to choose him no matter what happened to us. I owed his mother a debt, but this was more than just a debt. One couldn't even begin to fathom the depth of my feelings for him. I loved him even before I knew any of this, even before I got my memories back. Even before I lost them. I entrusted my life to him. I just never found the strength to confess back to him. To return the love he had always showered on me. I thought I was being a burden, but perhaps he thought the same for himself. He felt like he ruined my life by crossing paths with me, and it hurt to see him this way. I could now understand how he must have felt when I left him. I left him to fend for himself. If anything... it was only a selfish decision on my part.
Love is all about accepting the flaws the person comes with and choosing to stay and fight with them despite that. Because being with that person gives them more strength to fight on. It gives you more strength to fight your own battles. Ariel was a part of me that helped me realise this. Even if it kept me apart from him, this identity helped me realise how much he meant to me... and how wrong I was ever to abandon him. I couldn't run away from him any longer... I couldn- it would be all for nigh if I weren't together with him because... he was my most important person...
The realisation brought further tears to my eyes. My lips grazed his, but none of us moved. Both of us just revelled in our shared guilt and sadness. None of us blamed the other person in the least, and this tacit understanding made us feel guiltier... because there was nothing to forgive the other person for; we only blamed ourselves. It was like the two of us were made for one another.
I gently moved my lips away from his and clasped onto his fingers. We continued to stare at each other in silence. I didn't need my powers to understand his pain. I could feel it already, and it made my heart bleed. No matter how much I wanted to, I could never make his pain go away with the mere use of my powers. Perhaps this was our true curse... to not be able to use them when you needed your powers the most... To remind us that we would always be helpless before that one person.
"I love you, Kai..."
My confession didn't seem to faze him in the least. Perhaps everything we went through together and for the sake of one another was enough to make it evident to both of us. We were the fools who believed that to protect the person we loved, we needed to shoulder all the burden alone, but in the process, we failed to realise how lonely we made the other person.
"I have always loved you... Kai..." I repeated, a smile sneaking past my lips despite the tears flowing down my cheeks.
His face wasn't expressive enough, but I saw the tears halt in his eyes. Perhaps my words had the intended effect. Maybe they managed to reassure him that we were stronger than ever and we would never part again.
It happened in an instant. He didn't give me time to process it as he grabbed my hand and pulled me to his chest. His powerful arms wrapped me up in a tight embrace as if fearful that he'd lose me again. I returned the gesture, squeezing my arms around his torso, relieved that he no longer blamed himself. He didn't ask me anything. He wanted no explanations and neither did I. We just wanted each other.
"I never want to part with you ever again..." he mumbled in a low voice, his fingers gently caressing the hair on the back of my head while his other arm tightened its hold on my waist.
"No more secrets..." I promised him, nuzzling my head on his chest, feeling the warmth and safety of his arms again.
"Just the two of us... and no one else."
"Just us..." I repeated.
"Let's run away from all this..."
"Run-"
Run... away?
Author's Notes: Hello, my lovely, loyal readers. I want to apologise for the long break. I have started my PhD, and there's so much to study now!!! I don't know if I'll be regularly able to update anymore, but I'll try my best. I think my quality of writing has also gone bad, so please forgive me for that; I'll get there soon. Stay tuned!