I had my period and I didn't have any more tampons, so I went to the nurse's office to get some since the nurse always has some in a cupboard just in case. I opened the door only to see that the nurse's office was closed, I immediately saw Liam in his wheelchair in the corner of the room. I met his eyes for a few seconds before opening the cupboard where the sanitary pads were. I grabbed a tampon and put it in my pocket before turning to Liam.
"Is your thigh okay?" I ask.
Liam's eyes look up at me. He stifles a laugh as he looks down and raises his eyebrows. I could feel him being annoyed. I smile smugly before Liam replies.
"I don't know, I got shot in the thigh a week ago. Am I supposed to be okay?
- You only reap what you sow." I say as I turn to face him completely.
His gaze then plunges into mine, he speaks up.
"I heard you were dating Eddie Munson. I can't believe you went from me to this..." He says.
He rolls his eyes, laughing. I squint my eyes as I tilt my head to the side. What a jerk seriously. When is he going to understand that you can't play this game with me?
"And I can't believe you went from a Mercedes Benz to a two-wheeled chair." I said, rolling my eyes.
I approach him before continuing to speak.
"Bastard."
I turn my back on him and walk out of the infirmary, heading for the bathroom.
———
I had arrived at the cemetery. His grave was on a hill surrounded by other graves. I zigzagged between the tombstones before arriving in front of his. I looked at the flowers that had been placed before I saw that some had faded. I look down before joining my hands together.
I crouch down before reading his name engraved in the stone. I sigh. I had so much to say to him, but I don't know where to start. So I decide to start with the hardest thing to hear.
"I hate you."
I fumble with my fingers, trying to think of the words I had just said. I had lied a little bit.
"I mean, I love you, but I hate you. I read your letter last night. And reading it made me hate you. I keep wondering, if you had told me all this before, would things have changed? Would you still be alive?"
I couldn't stop thinking about everything he had written and I was so angry at him. I realized that there was no turning back.
"But... I miss you even more after reading your letter." I confess.
I look down slightly before touching one of the wilted flower petals. A long sigh escapes my lips before I remember that night at the mall. Billy had been trying to tell me something, and I have to say that now I had guessed it.
"Why didn't you tell me this before?"
I feel a tear escape my eyes, beading down my cheek. I bring my fingers to my face and then wipe the drop away before continuing to speak.
"What a waste."
Even if he was still alive. I couldn't go back on my decision. My feelings for Billy were gone, even though it was a strong love I had felt for him. Maybe if he had told me a long time ago, maybe today he would still be alive? And maybe we would even be together.
But I am happy with Eddie, he makes me feel loved and I hope I make him feel loved too. He's the only one who's really made me feel happy these past few months. And if I were asked to choose between Billy and Eddie, I would choose Eddie without hesitation.
I raise my head, wiping away all the tears that had just fallen before placing my hand on Billy's tombstone, I trace his name with the tip of my index finger before speaking.
"I miss you..."
I stand up and leave the cemetery, passing between the graves
———
I had just finished work. I greeted my boss before leaving the restaurant. I arrived in the street. It was dark and only a few streetlights were illuminating the street. Suddenly I hear a car honking. I jumped in fear and turned around, running into Eddie's van. I smile.
I walk over to his vehicle before getting in and sitting on the passenger side. Eddie turns to me with a smile on his face.
"You didn't want me to drop you off so I'm taking you home.
- Okay." I say with a smile.
Eddie starts the vehicle before starting to drive. I suddenly feel Eddie's hand on mine, a few shivers run through my body. I look out of the corner of my eye at his hand on mine before taking a long, deep breath.
He had this hold on me, he was able to drive me crazy with a simple touch. I'm really weak. And what worries me is that I am only weak with him. After about ten minutes we arrived in front of my house. The lights were off, I guess my dad is out. An idea crosses my mind. I turn to Eddie.
"You want to come in?"
Immediately, the dark-haired man widens his eyes slightly, stuttering a few words before finally stringing a sentence together.
"Are you sure?
- Yes, my dad isn't here and it doesn't look to me like there are any bottles of alcohol or cigarettes on the floor." I say with a laugh.
Eddie thought for a few seconds before finally turning off the car engine and turning to me with a big smile on his lips.
"Okay."