Everything I wanted - Billie Eilish
(Song: everything I wanted - Billie Eilish -Giyuu (no Ship) - Angst - normal AU)
WARNING:
Maybe locking everything away wasn't the best option, was what came to his mind.
His blue zori sandals that were held in his hands swayed with his movement. He was walking around his dark and empty estate, normally it was wide opened for air to enter the wind chimes would sound all over his 'gloomy' estate.
But that day was the day his older sister Tsutako passed away, eight years and guild was still there. That day he didn't bother to look a bit presentable as all the sad days on his agenda.
The day Sabito died and his birthday, and the same with Tsutako. No one knew when he was in that state. After all he thanked whoever was up there that the yearly meeting with Master was a few days after the death of Sabito and the other one was very much farther than the unfortunate dates that he normally mourned at.
Master let those four days free for him to relax and mourn and that was an extra point to respect the older man. But who knew if something would change that day. He exited the place after taking off his white socks ready to wash them.
His eyes were half-lidded and red from how much tears he had sheath the night before until early that morning.
The blue kimono his wore was loose and messy he didn't bother fixing it or his hair as a thin line of bears hair grew from his lack of hygiene. He didn't bother bathing or eating. He sat down on the small pound that was in his garden and started to wash the zori sandals and tabi socks.
The man finished after a bit and placed them to cry off before entering the dark home, normally it would be filled with some Kakuchis that would help around with his garden whenever he was free, but those four days he would just give them some money and tell them they could go treat themselves and they were free that day.
It was a way to be alone.
He went and grabbed his crumbled and tossed haori that was uneven and unique, some didn't know the meaning of it. But he knew. He sighed and decided to go and wash it since it had died tears and some pecks of blood.
As he headed back to the pound he was met with Kocho Shinoubu that was walking to the door. Her big eyes looked rather amused when she saw him. Her usual smile faltered a bit as her brows frowned her old personality slowly coming back.
"Kocho?"
Her expression twisted back to her 'kind' smile as she greeted with her high pitched and kind tone, "Tomioka-San." She walked closer and tilled her head, "I didn't see you today, so I grew worried."
Shinoubu realized that he looked rather unkempt and was paler than usual, his hair loose and messy. His kimono was messy and loose showing his upper body. It made her realize something was wrong with him. His eyes were empty and dull - duller than usually.
His normal ocean eyes were dark like an empty blue depths of the ocean. But who knew what was hidden down there.
"Its. ." he paused, "my day off, Kocho." He spoke as he walked down the two steps as his bare feet stepped onto the low green grass and sat on a rock beside the pound, "why are you here?"
The younger woman crouched down gracefully with a smile, "I was worried Tomioka, after all a meeting is starting soon," she spoke, "master suddenly changed it."
Giyuu froze the washing his head slowly turned to look at her as his eyes shrunk in horror. His hands raked in his hair making his hair wet and some soap to get in too. His hair plopped back on his forehead.
His crow then came flying and crashing in his chest with a note on his chest. The od crow panted slowly as Giyuu pet him. As he used his other hand that was covered with some soap to take the message from the leg.
He felt his world crash with the note.
'Dear Tomioka Giyuu,
Forgive me for the sudden changes of plans, normally I prefer you having this day free, but suddenly something happened/ so we need you for the Pillar meeting, it is very urgent and sudden. It has to do with the swords smith village incident.
Please be here, and take care,
Ubuyashiki Kagaya.'
Giyuu sighed and continued to wash it as Shinoubu just sat there watching, Giyuu ignored her very existent while he focused on the task in hand. Shinoubu realized that the uneven haori was two haori sewed together rather than just made together like that.
So one of the haoris were from someone else.
When he finished he twisted the haori and then place it to dry alongside all his uniforms and all his clothes.
Giyuu turned to Kocho that was eying him with a smile, "Kocho I will get ready to head out." He explained before heading inside. But his body was super tired and lazy. So he just brushed his teeth and took a quick bath.
His hair mess just loose and pulled a dark blue kimono and some zori sandals and pulled over the kimono a raven haori that he had that once belonged to him. Well, he used to wear it.
He walked out and pulled on the zori sandals and followed Shinoubu, he didn't bring his sword since he was son his day off. His steps were silent and slow while Shinoubu walked a bit faster than him trying to get to him.
"You know Tomioka-san," she spoke her steps fasten to reach out to him. "You look great with the hair loose."
He continued his eyes straight forward "thank you, Kocho." He thanked as he followed the path reaching the manor. Just before the meeting started. He opened the door and every current pillar turned to him. Their eyes widened seeing the messy and unkempt Giyuu that was there.
He sighed letting a light, "Good morning." As he sat down where he was assigned to beside the Rock Pillar. He preferred beside the giant than anyone else.
Mitsuri felt her heart drop at his appearance even if she wasn't sure what was happening, after all she didn't know the Water Pillar, he was a mystery as everyone knew he was. the way he moved himself wasn't as 'prideful' as he made him seem.
He looked defeated and shame-filled. Kanroji knew that something was wrong. She could see it in his empty eyes, they were emptier and darker than normally it made her nervous when their eyes met.
Muichiro also realized but was to tired and was in too much pain from his wounds to think twice as the Lady of the Manor entered, Amane. Her face was calm and stoic.
As the meeting started, it reminded Giyuu of the emergency meeting of when they caught Tanjiro and Nezuko, it was sudden.
It was explained over the weird and very odd marks that Mitsuri and Muichiro had gotten at the fight against Upper Five and Four. Giyuu paid attention when the shocking news came that Nezuko was immune to the sun, it made his eyes widen.
He felt dread shake up his core, what would the other Pillars think?! He hid his face behind the curtain of raven hair, internally crying and throwing a fit. Not realizing he let a light whine.
"is there something you wish to say, Tomioka?" the said male flinched and tilled his head a bit to see the tall man beside him that had his head tilled to his way, tears rolling down his cheeks, "you look in a state of dread it makes me feel it too."
Giyuu just stared at him with those dark blank eyes before looking away, "it's just shocking with the news." He whispered with a light tone as Amane closured the meeting.
He was the first to get up but none other than Shinazugawa Sanemi stopped him, "why do you leave first?" his voice raspy and sharp as usually, "You are hiding something aren't you?"
Tomioka just stood there and turned his body to them with a tired but very much heavy glare making some flinch at his gaze, the six other pillars stared at him waiting for his next words.
And like that he turned his body again and opened the door, "I am on my day off, so I can take my leave." His words were spoken as normally, dull and stoic, void of emotions, but for some reason the words at the same time were heavy and like a double bladed sword.
He left the manor like that.
Muichiro sighed and looked beside him at a very distraught Mitsuri, what did she think?
After Muichiro found his memories he remembered that Giyuu was like a father to him, Giyuu was just like his father in a way. But had the colors of his mother. His personality was like his before, dull and like an airhead.
"what happened to Tomioka, Kocho?" the short Serpent Pillar questioned as he sat down beside Mitsuri that was silent, "he has been gloomier than normal, sucking all my energy, it's very bothersome."
The said woman pursed her lips, "I don't know, it's the first time seeing him like this, unkempt and so empty."
The man, also known as Iguro, stood up, "well find out and make him stop," he complained as he fastened his sword, he's being irritating."
Mitsuri looked up at the standing man and shook her head, "Something is bothering him, he's hiding something, always around these days he's off and we done hear of him for a month sometimes. Master covers for him."
"that is nothing you are allowed to know."
They flinched at the words of the oldest but strongest Pillar that now was standing his hands together and the red beads clicked against each other with the movements. "It's his private life, not ours, if you wish to ask, ask him. Don't make any kind of theory."
Like that the meeting officially ended and all left to their own estates or missions.
But while passing around the Estate his eyes landed onto the path that lead to the Water Pillar's home. His dull turquois eyes swirled with emotion as he started to hop around the forest on top of the flat rocks that lead to the home.
Unlike other Estates it was in between a forest, around the gates there was a beautiful river surrounded by water lilies and water lotus. A wooden bridge was over the river leading to the gate.
The place was huge, bigger than himself. The forest was dark but had enough light from the sun that shone. Some small frogs hopped over the lilies into the water as Muichiro passed them over the bridge onto the door.
A light knock on the door came when his knuckles made contact with the wood and after a while the gates opened showing a very tired Giyuu, up close Muichiro saw how bad he was.
"Tomioka," Muichiro called as Giyuu let him in, "you look bad, did you eat?"
Giyuu didn't look into his eyes, his gaze avoiding him. Before turning and walked deeper into the garden, it was filled with some wisteria trees that was planted against the walls.
"I was going to eat," he spoke as he headed to the steps, "wish to come inside?"
The wind chimes clicked against itself with the wind as the two walked deeper. Muichiro and him sat down on the engawa as Giyuu tried to swallow the salmon daikon trying not to vomit while Mui ate with observing eyes.
"I remember how you took care of me when I was sick." Muichiro confessed his voice filled with gratefulness.
Giyuu froze where he sat, "you remember?" he was mortified he didn't want to get attached to him, he was already attached to Tanjiro, surely Nezuko that he saw like his daughter. He was scared.
He nodded a smile curled on his lips.
***
At night Giyuu was sleeping in his bed with a calm expression with the best dream, he dreamt that he had everything he wished for. A peaceful life with Tsutako and Giyuu.
Now what they think, unless he's being honest.
It might have been a night mare, just seeing them was hell. Guilt swirled in his chest. To anyone that might care.
Suddenly the place switched to where he stood over a tall building, he thought he could fly, after all it was a dream, so he stepped off the golden. His body spat against the ground.
No body cried, nobody even noticed.
It might've been a nightmare, to anyone who might care.
He jumped awake tears rolled down his eyes, why was he crying? Maybe due to him seeing Sabito and Tsutako, or was it that he died and still could see his body there.
His eyes looked to the side as he felt someone beside him and saw Nezuko, the young demon was standing there beside his bed, her bamboo nowhere to be seen. Her body was on its normal height.
"what are you doing here?" was what he asked before anything ignoring that she inched closer, her hand whipping his tears away before huffing.
"you. . ." she stammered with a frown, take care, you . . . arg!" due to her being unable to pronounce full sentences made her frustrated before she grabbed his arms and pulled him to a hug. "Take care, Giyuu-Nii!"
But when I wake up I see you with me.
"As long as I'm here," she spoke softly, "no one can hurt you." She then pat his head, "don't wanna lie here, but you can learn too. If I could change the way that you see yourself, you wouldn't wonder why I'm here."
Giyuu leaned against here gripping her haori close letting tears loose. The day ended with Nezuko comforting the male that let her live, the man she saw as a father and an older brother. He was a nice man to her.
END