I lay in bed, thinking about last night. My fingers constantly feel my lips, and I bite my lip in excitement.
To my disappointment, or maybe even my satisfaction, Warren is gone. A note was left on the pillow next to me, informing me that breakfast is downstairs, with chicken avocado wraps in the fridge for lunch later. He will be back this evening to pick me up and bring me into the city.
The first think I thought about was what was for breakfast, then about the awkward car ride. Did he remember anything from last nights? I'm not sure how drunk he was...he could've been out of it, but that wasn't a sloppy kiss.
I cleaned myself up, then went down to the kitchen. The glass was gone and the the garbage was emptied.
"Ooou," I rub my hands together, eying the donut box.
Their are glazed-my favorite—chocolate, and white icing with sprinkles, two of each, six in total. I don't know which one to eat first. After choosing sprinkles, I eat one of each. The last three I say for some time later.
I settle back upstairs and watch some tv. When it's after twelve, I get ready to kiss this 'weekend getaway' goodbye. Which is half true. I have to return home, fantasize over a trip I spent in a house, terrified, and maybe even return to my daily routine.
Warren gave me the choice to stay home or stay in a gated house that was under his watch. I'd like to think I can handle being in my own home alone. Of course, the first thing in my mind is to get new locks, maybe invest in a gun and shooting lessons.
I know everything Warren owns is...nice. So nice that I couldn't be at peace staying on a property that cost more than my life. I'd be more open to finding a new apartment if anything.
Due to the pressure of packing, I didn't bring much, it was just random, mix-matched clothing. My backpack was packed and zipped up, sitting by the foot of the bed.
By the time I finished two French braids in my hair, I was ready for a nap.
~
I seriously underestimated how awkward this would be.
Warren got in really late in the evening. The sun made the sky warm and bright like it wasn't about to leave us in darkness.
I sat on the couch with my hands under my thighs in sweats and a t-shirt and the dirty vans I packed. Warren was walking around on the phone, talking what might as well be counted as a whisper. I wasn't surprised that some of his sentences were coded in Italian.
He let on no tellings that he remembered—or even forgot last night. It was as if nothing happened at all...
I waited for him to say he was ready, but I wasn't rushing him. If we could leave out late, and I could fall asleep the whole ride back, that would be wonderful.
"Do you have everything?" Warren hung up the phone and put it in his pocket.
"Yeah," I clear my throat and stand up. Warren takes my backpack and I hold the box with the last two donuts.
Neither of us say anything while we get into the car. Warren puts something in my lap, it's my phone. I smile, having been then missed it so much. "Thanks."
"I swung by your apartment," he backs the car up.
"Is everything still okay?"
He nodded. I turned it on and, as expected, there were missed calls and texts. One was from Remi, saying she heard the news about the getaway that didn't have good service. So that's the lie we were going with, I guess. I shot a text to my family's group chat saying I was on my way back to the city.
I lowered my brightness before texting Remi.
Bro, I just fucking made out with Warren!!'
For extra precaution, I lean the seat back while I watch the bubbles on the screen.
LMAOOOO
Details, I need them
I hold my grin while I text her back, giving her a run down about the kiss. I tell her we had gotten into a mild argument, that night he had a few beers and had an accident in the kitchen. I go into the cut in his hand and everything that happens after laying him on the couch.
Sooo? 24hs has passed, what's the status??🧍🏻♀️
I huff.
"Who are you texting?" Warren asks randomly.
He isn't looking at me. I tilt my phone down, and pucker my lips as I think. "My dad-" I lie.
He doesn't say anything, I dart my eyes at him before working my thumbs.
Still single💔 and we haven't talked about it
I send the text, snickering at the broken heart emoji. Warren and I being in a relationship? I don't know what I'd do if that would ever happen.
What are y'all waiting on?! Obviously something is there...
I look at Warren again. He's never given me any clear sign that he was interested in me. I didn't know if he was a man of commitment when referring to relationships. Then I'm not sure if it's a good idea to be talking about any of that stuff right now anyway.
We're expecting a kid and we are already in a mist of chaos, things don't need to get more messy.
Too much is going on for a relationship. Plus I'm pretty sure it's all one sided...
Her response was quick.
Ah, you admit it😏
Don't be one of those people who find any and every excuse to not pursue someone. U guys are having a kid...if the child could possibly see their parents together, y not?
I frown at the text. Not going to lie, I was going to give her the 'what if things go wrong and we can't parent' argument, but there really was so much more going on.
But knowing what I know about Warren, it wouldn't work. Getting to know him over the last few months, and the reason being because we hooked up, makes me think Warren isn't keen on relationships. If tv has taught me anything, relationships get in the way according to men like him.
That's the thing tho, I think I'm baby-momma zoned💀
😐
Girl, u are dumb
Was the kiss good??
Sure, I roll my eyes at her name calling, but I'd be more than happy to mentally relive the moment.
Was it good??! It was great. Things could've escalated if I hadn't stopped it
Wow
And he hasn't said anything at all?
Nope...we just ride peacefully in the car now
So removing Warren from any scenario, u don't think you'd date at all after the baby?
I can see it months after. When everything has fallen into place and I'm working again...kind of when things get into order
And it's not a rush, my kid has a dad, it's not like I'm looking for someone to really step up. I'm okay right now
That Thomas guy from your job seemed to be into you..wat do you think about him?
I forgot all about Thomas. I liked him, he was sweet. I was in disbelief that he was still willing to give us a try after seeing I was having a baby. I respect him even more after saying we were all adults.
Who was to say that Warren hasn't been having his own fun, despite the fraction of a moment we shared? Either way, I won't allow myself to focus on anything that doesn't involve this baby. My life is about the change a hell of a lot, and a relationship doesn't need to be added to the list- rather it's with the father of my child or another man. Cause both sound pretty damn high maintenance, one more than the other.
I like him...
I respond.
There's a but🧐
But Tommy, is not soft, but definitely not the dominant man I want. I don't say that though, I put it more vaguely
There's more things I want in a man then a pretty face and sweet talk
Thomas hasn't dropped that act with me. I don't feel personally connected with him yet, and so far I would like to see if he ever could. And right now he's just the guy at my work that flirts and teases.
I shouldn't compare, and I hate to think it, but the man next to me tells me that I'll get what I see.
Uh...I think I get it. U might have to explain with more detail later on tho💀
I come up with an idea.
Bsf date??
What do you have in mind? Spend the day together Saturday?
Saturday works. We can plan something through the week
I sealed the conversation, telling Remi I needed to sleep. It's been a while since we've spent quality time together. After all of this, my best friend was exactly what I needed.
"Have you thought about what you are going to do? Are you going back to your apartment?" Warren asks when I turn my phone off and let it lay on my chest.
I really didn't think about it at all. "For now, I will stay in my apartment. I think I might move..."
"Move?"
"Yeah..." I look out the window, "I don't think I can stay there anymore. I'll start looking while I'm at work," I shrug.
I feel him giving me quick glances. "Okay...I'll have people watching out for you to make sure. If you ever feel-"
"I know. I'll call," I give him a phony smile. If he isn't going to talk about the elephant in the room, then we don't need to talk at all, pretending like something doesn't need to be addressed.
~
I wake up right on time. I sigh when I see the familiar streets of the city, and pick up on the local shops near my apartment.
We pass the dark alley, the one we were running in. I could see it all happening again in third person as I get stuck in a trance.
"Are you okay?" Warren asks.
"Mmhm," I shift in the seat of his car.
He does like usual, parking in front of the building. We both unbuckle our seatbelts.
"You don't have to get out," I hide the annoyance in my tone.
"Just get out the car," he looks at me to roll them away. When he turns his back to get out, I roll my eyes back.
I get out and grab all my things. "I took a book from the house," I tell him when I'm next to him, "is that okay?"
"Of course," he mumbles.
I stare at the floor the entire time until we get to my door. I shake the nerves out my hand before taking my keys from Warren.
The apartment is cold with the AC blasting. I don't know remember having it this high.
Everything looks normal, but I see past it and remember the man standing in the hall with a bullet in his leg. I remind myself that he is dead.
"Are you sure you can do this?" Warren whispers. He takes everything from my hands and takes the backpack that was on his back off, and puts it on the couch.
"Positive," I breathe a little shakily, "I just need to get ready for work, then get some sleep."
"Can you handle work?"
"My back feels a lot better, I'll still take it easy. Besides, I sit at a desk all day."
He furrows his brows. "Do you need me for anything else?"
I dust my hands on my pants. "Nope, I think I got it from here."
Then I remember. "You can take this back though..." I go into my backpack and pull out Warren's jacket. "I think I've had it for way too long."
I put it to his chest, he now senses the irritation in my voice. His darkened eyes search for something. I smile tightly before turning away from him in annoyance. I busy myself with removing things from my backpack.
He fists the jacket, softening his eyes. "Give me a call tomorrow."
"Why?" I blurt.
He shakes his head. "I just want to hear from you."
I press my lips together. "Okay..."
"Good night, Dawson."
"Good night."