Masked is dedicated to the two people that helped me build this rollercoaster and supported me through it all. Thank you.
PAST
"Go make some friends."
Alyssa Sage softly commands her daughter, waiting for the seven year old child to run along so they could go meet Madam Lancaster. Her husband, Kriston, stands outside the office door a few feet away, his foot tapping against the floor impatiently.
Esrin frowns, not wanting to speak to any of the mean girls here again after they made fun of her last time, and the time before that, and the time before that. She's never been one to argue with her parents so she sighs and forces herself to the next room.
Standing on the threshold, Esrin decides that she no longer wants to try to make friends with the girls if they didn't want to be her friend in the first place. Her longing eyes scanned the playroom and they stopped on the little boy sitting by the window.
It took Esrin a few moments to realise what he was doing but she took interest in the little boy drawing on his skin with a black marker. She felt like a victory and as she makes her way to her potential new friend, Esrin prayed he wasn't going to be a meanie.
If she had to admit, it was his chocolate curls sitting beautifully on his head that actually made her sit beside him on the bench pushed against the locked window.
Harry was too consumed by the designs he scattered on his hand, already mapping out what he needed to do to cover his entire arm that he hadn't noticed the girl sitting beside him.
"That's a pretty flower," Esrin spoke up, staring at the flower he'd just finished drawing on the back of his palm. Harry's head snapped up, curls falling over his eyes in the process. He uses the end of the marker to push them away so he'd see the girl properly.
For a moment it felt like his senses were malfunctioning because he was so in shock that someone was actually speaking to him! She's prettier than Belle from Beauty and the Beast.
"It's a butterfly," Harry corrects her after, still in a daze of disbelief. Her face falls, feeling embarrassed that she got it wrong. "Sorry," she apologises, feeling the heat on her cheeks.
"Does the butterfly have a name?" Esrin wondered out loud, determined to continue this conversation with curly hair. "Uhm, not as yet," Harry answers, his eyes studying the pattern as if he hadn't thought about it before.
"What's your name?" She questions, wanting to ask something that he does know. The soft green eyes, more alive than anyone she'd ever come across recently, met hers.
"Harry."
The sound of that name tugs the corners of her lips until she was beaming with a sunshine smile. The name suited curly hair perfectly. "I'm Esrin," she replicated, never feeling so excited to tell someone her name before.
"Es...Rin," Harry tests out the sound of her name to himself. His bright green eyes flickered back to her, pink lips pulling into a happy smile," Esrin."
Their moment gets shattered like a rock through a thin piece of glass when one of the lovely ladies working here rushes in. Esrin frowns as she notices the obvious anger on her face as her furious eyes flared straight at Harry.
"Harry! Look what have you done, haven't you learnt that it's hard to take out permanent marker from your skin?" The older woman scolded the little boy, paying no attention to Esrin.
The lovely lady, who didn't seem lovely anymore, grabs Harry's hard with such tightness that made him hiss in pain. She drags him out of the room, muttering hurtful words to Harry. Esrin throws her hand out, reaching to grab Harry to pull him back but it was too late.
The only thing Harry had ever longed for was for someone to finally adopt him just so he could be part of a family. However, wanting to meet Esrin again came pretty close to that.
In the weeks following that day, Esrin was the most excited when her parents would volunteer at the orphanage because she'd get to play with Harry. She'd even more excited to attend her new school because they'd share a few classes.
It was safe to say that Harry had easily become her best friend ever in the whole wide world.
Finding out new things about Esrin was Harry's favourite thing. His favourite thing was probably the fact that they had the same birthday. Harry loves cake, especially with chocolate sprinkles. He'll never share his birthday cake but Esrin gave him an exception.
That's just the way it was for the next eight years, being each other's sidekicks, partners in crime, secret keepers and shoulders to cry on as they both ventured through being seven year olds through turning fifteen. They would've considered themselves inseparable but there was only one thing in their way.
That one thing just had to happen. Also, may I add on the most unexpected moment days after turning fifteen.
"Esrin," Harry cautiously touched her arm again. It was a gentle touch but to her, it felt like she'd been shocked by electricity. Harry snapped his hand away, automatically frowning when she winced away from him. She's never done that before.
Esrin always adored the way Harry said her name, ever since the first time he'd whisper it to himself and she heard. But now, her name held so much pain and guilt when he said it. Now, she hates it. Now she understands why they say there is a fine line between love and hate. Or is it a thin line? Whatever.
"I'm sorry," he whispers. Such useless words and it pains her that Harry apologises because he shouldn't.
'Empty vessels make the most noise.' That's the statement that people threw around Harry as he gained more years. Everyone but Esrin. That's the reason they told him why no one wouldn't adopt him. He's too mischievous, never follow the rules, hears but never listens, so easy to be corrupted.
Esrin though, she understood that Harry just wanted to colour outside the lines, he rather ventures out of the box than stay clustered inside the box or behind the lines. Harry Styles was written in a foreign and distinct language that no one could read besides Esrin Sage.
Esrin was the only person who understood him truly.
"Just be who you are, Harry. There are people who want the real you," is what she told Harry. Turns out, she was right. Someone did want Harry as a son. A wealthy man promising to give him the best life an orphan could ask for. The catch side is he'll be saying goodbye to the only place he'd ever call home. If that wasn't bad enough, he'd be leaving his only best friend.
Yesterday, neither of them knew this was going to happen. They thought today, would've been like every other day. Esrin was suspicious when Harry wasn't on the bus to school, he was always there waiting with an empty seat for her beside him. It was a major red flag so she bolted to the orphanage the second school ended.
Harry was already at their special place, the rooftop, sitting with his legs pressed to his chest and arms wrapped around his knees. Someone finally wanted Harry as their son, he felt guilty for being excited, knowing that he'd be leaving everything behind. Esrin was preparing to hear bad news but this, this was the absolute worst of them all- Harry having to leave her.
"When do you leave?" She asks, keeping her eyes on the wide forest, staring at the glimpses of stars between branches or trees. The same trees she'd stare at until they turned into faces of monsters when she and Harry would come up here at an early age. Right now, she wished that one of those imaginary monsters could grab her.
Harry closed his eyes as if that would soothe the bandaid he was about to rip off. "The driver will be here in ten minutes," He hesitantly answered. Ten minutes to say goodbye.
Esrin inhales deeply, attempting to tame her emotions. She shut her eyes, allowing the last year to slide down her cheeks, following the many others that fell since she sat down on their special rooftop. Esrin opened her eyes and turned her face to Harry. He felt nervous but desperate as she looks at him straight into his eyes. "I hope you find everything you've been looking for, Harry," Esrin says.
So calm, so...cold.
"Rin, please don't do this," Harry pleaded. "Do what? I'm happy for you, Harry. I have a right to be sad, we've been best friends since we were kids. Don't worry, we'll keep in contact. Emails and on Skype, it's going to be fine, just like you said," Esrin reassured him with the fakest smile she could've shown. "We'll see each other again, okay? This isn't goodbye," Harry continues with hope.
Deep down, they both knew that this was actually goodbye. They've watched enough movies to believe those cliche meaningless words they're saying. The sound of the gates dragging open grabs their attention. His ride is here, Harry is leaving. Harry turns to his best friend and grabs her hands, holding them in his. He kisses her knuckles before releasing them.
"Do you want to go Harry? Do you think you'd be happy with Mr Styles?" Esrin softly asks. Harry looks at her hands and nods his head. Knowing that this is what he wanted made it somewhat easier for her. "Good," Esrin pulls away her hand from him. She takes one last good look at the boy and turns her head back to the scary trees.
"I'll see you later, Harry," Esrin whispered. Usually, with so much excitement but now nothing but sorrow. From the corner of her eyes, she sees Harry nods his head and stand. More pieces of her broken heart fell off as she prepares for him to say their goodbye tradition. Only this time, it was a forever goodbye.
"Don't be late, Esrin."
Esrin shut her eyes and listened as Harry walked away, his footsteps getting softer and softer until all the heard was the shaking of leaves in front of her.
Harry was a constant star in every day of Esrin's life for the past eight years. There are certain things she doesn't remember, but she's sure that Harry was always there. Memories racing through her mind, so many memories tortured her, throwing salt into the wound, gas to the flame.
That was the beginning and the end of Esrin and Harry.
Well, that's what they thought.