Days later found Junghwan moping in the corner of the dance practice room after everyone else had gone off to change. Just minutes earlier, he had intended to invite Doyoung for dinner but the moment he entered the older's sight, the older immediately grabbed Junkyu outside saying he's hungry. He caught Junkyu's confused face before he was gone from their sight.
On normal days, Junghwan wouldn't bat an eye when this happens. However, the feeling that Doyoung may be avoiding him is becoming very prominent recently. Junghwan isn't stupid, he knows that whatever the reason is, it's got something to do with the day he almost kissed the older. But he's clueless on what to think of the older's avoidance — is he mad or is he awkward about it?
Junghwan may be a bit dense but that day, he felt like Doyoung wanted Junghwan to actually kiss him. But Junghwan doesn't want to jump into conclusions. After all, the older could probably just be feeling awkward about the whole thing. If it was Junghwan in his place and someone whom he shares a platonic relationship with tried to kiss him, he'd feel weird about it too.
"You good?" Junghwan startles a bit when someone bumps into his shoulder. He's met with Haruto's concerned gaze but he immediately puts up a smile.
"Of course, hyung! Just tired." Junghwan replies, eager to brush it off. He knows Haruto. He might not seem like it but he can be very persistent when he wants to. If the older rapper probes him about what's bothering him, Junghwan might just have to spill and that's something he doesn't want to happen. It's less of Haruto knowing about his predicament and more of him possibly relaying it to Jeongwoo. Heaven knows Jeongwoo will nag him about it for days. He can practically hear him saying 'just confess already' or 'how many times have i told you that you will never know if you don't tell him'. The past few weeks, he's been going to Jeongwoo about his "crush problems" and the older Iksan boy has been telling him every time to just confess and get done with it. He gets the feeling Jeongwoo is getting real tired of it and if he hears about it one more time, he might just confess to Doyoung on behalf of Junghwan.
He hears Haruto sigh so he turns to face him completely. Haruto has his arms crossed as he says, "I promise I won't tell Jeongwoo. Tell me what's bothering you."
Junghwan flinches. Oops, am I that obvious? "It's about Doyoungie-hyung isn't it?" At this point, everyone has left the room except for them two.
Junghwan looks down in defeat. "He's avoiding me, hyung. It's so blatantly obvious. He always eats with someone else except me, he goes out with others but me, he doesn't talk to me on breaks anymore. He even purposely changes course when he sees me. Jeongwoo-hyung told me to confess and I seriously want to do it too, but how can I when I barely hang out with him anymore?"
Haruto plops down on the bench beside where they were standing. "Do you think it's because of the "almost-kiss" the other day?"
"For sure. We were fine before it." Junghwan responds, pouting. "So now I'm scared to confess." He sits down beside the older rapper. "After I almost kissed him, I had a feeling that there was something. I felt like... my feelings may not be one-sided all this time. But I'm doubting it now because he's avoiding me. Do you think he's disgusted with me, hyung?" He asks without looking at the older, fidgeting with his hands.
He feels an arm around his shoulder. "What makes you think he'd be disgusted with you, Hwannie? You know hyung would never."
"I know. I just— why? Why is he avoiding me? I have two guesses but they're on the opposite sides of the spectrum and I don't want to risk anything..." Ha, funny how I thought I was ready to risk it all for him. But he's too precious to me. I'm not willing to risk our friendship.
"You're probably tired of hearing this but the best solution would be to come clean to him, Junghwan-ah." Haruto says, sounding apologetic.
"I know, hyung. I say that I'm scared but I really want to just tell him everything. I can't stand him avoiding me like the plague. And..."
"And?"
Junghwan exhales. He doesn't want to say it out loud because it sounds ridiculous but who is he kidding? It's been on his mind ever since Doyoung started to avoid him. "Doyoungie-hyung's been hanging out with Junkyu-hyung ever since he started avoiding me."
Haruto raises his eyebrows, visibly confused. "Okay...? And what about it?"
"Whenever he sees me, Doyoung-hyung always ends up pulling Junkyu-hyung with him."
Haruto still looks confused. "Alright, I get that. But what's wrong with it? They've been friends for years, I'm sure they hang out like that a lot."
Junghwan widens his eyes. "But he's always with Junkyu-hyung! It makes me feel—"
"Jealous?" The rapper interrupts.
Junghwan's mouth fell open and he couldn't form coherent words for a few moments. "What?! Jealous? Why would I be?!" Liar. You know exactly why.
"Is it because Doyoung-hyung used to like him?"
"How do you know about it?"
Haruto shrugs. "I was roommates with Junkyu-hyung for a year. He tells me stuff."
Junghwan sighs and leans back on the wall to make himself comfortable. "I know it's a ridiculous thought but... what if his feelings return? I don't think I can handle that hyung..." He frowns. "Maybe I can handle the rejection, but to see him visibly in love with someone else? That's a different kind of pain."
Haruto chuckles. "Looks like our youngest is not so baby anymore." He teases while pinching Junghwan's cheeks.
"Stop it, hyung." Junghwan says as he playfully swats the older's hand away.
"But seriously, I don't think you have to worry about that. I think Junkyu-hyung might be dating someone now."
Junghwan perks up. "Huh? Really? Who?"
Haruto flicks his forehead as he giggles. "It's not my story to tell. But if you squint, maybe you'll see it."
Junghwan pouts as he rubs his forehead. He was about to retaliate when he heard a gasp from the doorway. He looked and was surprised to be greeted by Doyoung's equally shocked face.
Doyoung's shocked face immediately morphed into a smile — a painfully forced one, might Junghwan add. "Hey! Uhh, I didn't know y'all were still here. I— uhh, I left my sheets." He explains, though he really didn't need to.
He walks to one of the benches where his sheet music was sprawled on. He looks uncomfortable, probably eager to just get out of the room. Junghwan's heart hurts as he watches the older. Do I make you that uncomfortable? He couldn't help the frown that appeared on his face.
Just then, he hears shuffling beside him. Haruto stands up and grabs his things. He leans close to the younger's ear and whispers, "Fix it now, Hwannie. I don't want you to be hurt anymore." Then with a little smile, he ruffles Junghwan's hair and leaves.
Junghwan glances at the other dancer who's now arranging his piano sheet music. He looks focused which is probably why he didn't notice Haruto leave the room. Junghwan takes a deep breath and walks over to the older.
Doyoung must have sensed him because he looks up at Junghwan. "Hey— oh, where's Ruto?"
"He left."
Doyoung looks down. "I see. I'll leave now, too." He stood up and was about to leave when Junghwan grabs his wrist. Doyoung stops in his tracks and Junghwan could see him gulp. The older turns, a silent question written on his face.
Okay, here goes nothing... or everything?
"Hyung, can we talk?"