This isn't real

De WtfamIwriting

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Updated version out now! Slight change in plot and writing style and more detail! Pls read! Zhongli has been... Mais

The arranged marriage
Snezhnaya
Author note
Teucer, Anthon and Tonia
Liyue kids
Comfortable
I finally understand
Mondstadt and Inazuma
Uhhhhhhhh...SMUT
Child(e) abuse
Jealousy?
Lover's oath (1)
Lover's oath (2)
Confessions and lies
Bonus Chapter specifically for other ships
Rings, Inazumans and Lumine
It worked
Gone forever?
Not again
He's alive?!
The wedding (1)
Wedding (2)
Bonus Chapter for other ships (2)
Epilogue 1
Epilogue 2
Credits
Smut chp that my wife wrote

Liyue

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De WtfamIwriting

"The Kingdom of Contracts, Liyue, has arrived." The herald announced again. At this, Zhongli immediately sprung from his seat and ran to the doors. The two doors flung open at the same time he reached them and was bombarded with his siblings.

"LI!" The shortest and with shoulder length grayish white hair and hugging him so tightly, he felt that all of his bones would break. Zhongli hugged back tighter, sobbing intensely into her shoulder. Yet he was overpowered when Gorou, Albedo and Yun Jin joined. The amount of force pushed him to the ground.

"Woah! Got you bro." Itto went up behind him and grabbed his shoulders to stop Zhongli from hitting the floor.

"Oh archons, we missed you so damn much." Yun Jin was buried deep into his embrace, completely ignoring the fact her tears were ruining her makeup.

"Hey! Look who it is!" Venti cheered as he and Ei walked up to them.

"Hey guys!" Albedo waved at the two, still clinging on to Zhongli for dear life.

"Are those your...?" Childe walked up behind them.

"Yes, these are my siblings. Youngest Noelle, second oldest Itto." Zhongli wiped his tears amidst his laughs, which Childe was living for.

"So you're the oldest?" -C

"Mmhmm." Noelle let go of her brother. "Osail and Azhdaha wanted to come but unfortunately couldn't make it."

"Honestly better if they didn't come." Zhongli patted her head, messing up her hair.

"Is that a dog?" Scara had walked up to them and pointed at Gorou.

"I'm not a dog!" Gorou glared at him. "Li, what kind of family are you marrying into?"

"A chaotic one? Definitely not worse than ours." -Z

"Who are you marrying?" Noelle scanned around the room for her brother's potential husband.

"No you may not kill him. It's the ginger." Zhongli then proceeded to grab her and
restrain her from attacking Childe while she thrashed wildly around.

"A-Li. How have you been?" Ningguang and Beidou walked forward. In an instant, as if they were trained from young, the Liyuens stopped what they were doing and did a slight bow in acknowledgement of their queens. Even Ei and Venti did it. Ningguang nodded and then proceeded to wrap her arms around her eldest son, the height difference making it a bit awkward. Zhongli had to let go of his siblings who were being crushed by their mother.

"I'm fine. Coughed blood once." -Z

"You always tend to forget everything no matter how hard we try." -B

"Sorry..." -Z

"No need. As long as you're safe. Did anyone hurt you?" -Ni

"No. Mom, I'm not a little boy." -Z

"I know that. But you're mentally unstable. And it's my job as a mother to make sure you're safe. I guess I made the right choice then." -Ni

"So, uh, Childe. These are my moms, Ningguang and Beidou, and my siblings, Itto, Albedo, Gorou, Yun Jin and Noelle." -Z

"Ah. Well, I'm Tartaglia but you can call me Childe. Pleasure to meet you." -C

"And I would have thought that the crown prince of Snezhnaya was no gentleman. I guess we were both proven wrong." -Ni

"Wait. Empress Ningguang is les?" -D

"Of course I am. My wife and I have been married for several decades. And this is why we have gay children." -Ni

"Didn't expect to come out this way but yes." -Al

"Way to go mom..." -Yj

"Anyways, let's have fun!" Noelle pulled Zhongli away and the two disappeared into the crowd. Childe stared after them, kind of desperate that he lost his lover and now he had no one to linger with.

"Don't get distracted or hurt! I'm going to have a nice long chat with Tsaritsa." Ningguang then walked off with Beidou hand in hand to find Tsaritsa.

"I'm gonna find him." Childe walked around, trying to find his fiance. He then saw him and Noelle talking in a dark corner. Abruptly in conversation, Noelle then said that she had to meet someone and left him there. No one else was there so he assumed that he was alone.

"Love." Childe hugged him from behind.

"Hi Ajax." Zhongli returned the hug, a bit surprised at the ambush.

"You doing alright?" -C

"Now that my family is here, better than before." -Z

They kissed again but something awoke in Childe. Something that told him to force his head closer and maybe do just a bit more. They pulled apart and Childe inched closer. This caught Zhongli off guard but he nodded, guessing what he wanted to do. They went back in, Zhongli playfully denying Childe entry. He bit the brunette's lower lip so that as he gasped in shock he could shove his tongue in. Zhongli let him explore his mouth, their tongues swirling together occasionally, stepping back until he reached a wall for more support as he was practically falling apart at him.  Zhongli eventually broke the kiss, pale face dusted a bright red from embarrassment.

"Zhongli..." -E

The two males separated immediately and saw Venti about to die from stifling his laughs and Ei looking at them with disgust.

"You do it with Miko, Ei." -Z

"S-Shut up!" -E

"Well, we found some wine. Want some?" -V

"Venti. You're not allowed to drink." Ei tried to snatch the bottle away from the braided boy.

"Venti!" Zhongli got off the wall and began to attempt to grab the bottle from him.

"Normal, I believe?" Childe ogled at the spectacle. But he felt something. Like he was being robbed of what was his.

"Very. You'll have to get used to it if he's going to be your future wife." -E

"I see. Mine." Childe got closer before pulling Zhongli closer to him by his tiny waist.

"Ehe. We should leave them alone, right Ei?" Venti raised his eyebrows in a teasing manner.

"We should. Can't stand anymore love tonight." Ei waved goodbye as they left them in peace.

"Should we get a room?" -C

"That would be best. I kind of want some alone time. A bit too much for me in one night." -Z

They moved away from the corner and exited the ballroom. They found a small study not too far away. Childe lifted Zhongli and placed him on the table. Grabbing his thigh with one hand and the other on his waist and both of Zhongli's hands around his neck.

"Only kissing. Hate to be walked on by my mom." -Z

"Wasn't thinking about it." Childe licked his lips and went back in, devouring his little brunette.

15 minutes later

"Lumine, be a dear and find them. Aether you too." Tsaritsa and Ningguang had been looking for the princes as they had been missing for fifteen minutes. Lumine and Aether nodded and left the room. While looking for the couple, they heard some noises from a room not too far from the main ballroom. Aether opened the door and accidentally made some noise when he saw what was inside. But the people didn't hear. Lumine forced the door open, confused at her brother's actions, and saw Zhongli, now fully lying on the table, with Childe on top of him, both of Zhongli's legs wrapped around his waist for support, hands holding down Zhongli's. And they were making out. Childe had apparently messed up Zhongli's hair and his hands were entangled in it. This time, they heard the door open and they immediately stopped.

"Uh...this is...embarrassing." Childe looked at the twins, Lumine who was there in shock and Aether who was dying from laughter, and then at Zhongli, who was extremely red.

"CHILDE...ZHONGLI...! BAHAHAHA! I CAN'T BREATHE!" Aether was wheezing on the floor but Lumine had disappeared. But Aether's laughs were enough to draw the attention of Tsaritsa and Ningguang.

"Aether? Oh." -T

"Fascinating." -Ni

"I-It's not what you think!" Childe quickly released Zhongli and began protesting. Zhongli was too flustered to say anything and just sat there covering his face.

"Well, you two should return before anyone gets suspicious." Ningguang waved at the boys as she, Tsaritsa and Aether left, a look .

"We should...go..." Childe held his hand and both of them left the room.

"Childe..." Zhongli's hair was a mess both from the draft in the castle and from lying on the table.

"Here." Childe took a small ornate comb out of a hidden pocket and redid Zhongli's hair the way it was.

"Thank you dear." He placed a small kiss on his lover's cheek. They both entered the room and Venti pulled both of them to the food table.

"Loosen up, you two. Most of the fancy people have left and the kids are sleeping. Have some wine." Half sober Venti tossed some wine glasses to them, one nearly breaking.

"Venti!" -Z

Half an hour later and Childe was completely wasted. Zhongli was exhausted from resisting all the wine Venti offered him, who was now passed out drunk on a chair, and trying to stop Childe from passing out in the middle of the room.

"Hey mom?" Zhongli was struggling to hold Childe up.

"Yes A-Li?" Ningguang looked at him, curious at what her son might need.

"I'm gonna turn in. Make sure the rest don't get too drunk." -Z

The couple of them left the room as Zhongli stumbled all the way to Childe's room, staggering under the ginger's weight.

The next day

The brunette awoke to the bare chest of his fiance. Wondering what happened, why they were butt naked, why was his neck itchy and why on Teyvat was his lower half hurting so much? He sat up and looked in the full length mirror in front of the bed. His porcelain skin was covered with bruises and bite marks, the corners of his eyes and his mouth was stained with what seemed like drool and something white that was sticky. His hair was a mess of his drool, tears and the same white stuff. He tried to detangle it but he deemed it too sticky to do anything manually. He got up to use the bathroom but instead of walking normally, he came crashing to the floor.

"Huh?! What?! Uh...what are you doing on the-HOLY TSARITSA!" Childe got open up by the noise only to find the brunette in a crumpled, pouty mess on the floor.

"I fell off the bed. It seems my legs are not working." Zhongli grabbed his legs and forced them to help him sit straight. "What happened last night?"

"Oh no...ummm...you know what sex is right?" Childe nervously looked at the naked brunette on the floor and saw more hickeys and bite marks on his thighs and two red handprints on his ass. He tried to remember what exactly happened but was interrupted by a small voice.

"Yes? What does that have to do with us?" Zhongli innocently gazed at Childe.

"We-We had sex last night." Childe looked away from him, blushing hard.

"WHAT?!" Zhongli yelled in shock before coughing.

"Ah! Shit. You must have moaned too much yesterday. Or did it turn into screaming?" Childe ran next to him and placed Zhongli on his lap as he thought the floor would hurt. Childe remembered now, he was drunk and oh no.

Words: 1881

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