Honestly, I had no clue how long I was entranced..
By my own music but..
Before I knew it, the sun was already setting. It was, a breathtaking sight..
As always.
The clouds were right next to one another, shaping different shapes. I could've sworn I saw a fox form, children and.. Just, freedom. The setting sun added a bunch of beautiful colors.. Bettering the view, adding it's own little charm.. And completing the picture altogether.
From the very light pink shading to a crimson deep red shade, Purple, orange, green.. Such, vibrance, adding in those clouds at the end, completed the picture, the beautiful sight.
Ah.. It was truly, a spectacular sight.
I slowly stood up and closed the window, after putting my instrument safely away.Storing it once more, from my right, in it's own area.
'I may not love this place.. Honestly, hate to admit.. But, I'll miss it..'
Soon the sun set completely and it was night time, my clothes were changed once more and I went to bed.
"Tomorrow.. Will be a long and hard day.."
I unconsciously muttered out.
Before I knew it, my heavy eyelids fell closed and all I saw was.. darkness.
'Ah... finally some rest.. some.. peace.'
Or so I thought.. Until I was plagued once more.. By nightmares. Memories.. Red eyes.. And this.. Voice, even though i couldn't hear what they were saying.. I felt, trapped. Terrified and like dying. Blaming nobody but myself.
-------
The next day
I had the usual morning, with the maids coming in to change my clothes, doing my hairstyle.. All that stuff. Though, it took them longer today and my clothes were more.. Extravagant to say the least.
'Great.. Just great.. It's time..'
*sighs*
I couldn't help but to sigh out of frustration, fear and.. Nervousness. Seeing my own path narrowing, growing deadlier.. Did not help one bit.
Sometimes.. Imagination was but a curse, other times.. It was a means of escape, and happiness.
I took a deep breath, trying to mask my feelings and proceeded to make my way to pay my respects to my parents and grandparents.. Then..
It would be off to the palace.
And goodbye to this place. Where I was born and raised. Confined even.
I just felt like, I was moving from one prison, to but another.
I quickly arrived at the ancestral hall and, well, walked in.
Quickly noticing my mother and father, as well as my grandmother and grandfathers presence.
Of course my siblings were here as well.. All Nine of them.
I walked towards them and greeted them. Bowing slightly before them and stating respectfully;
"Chán Juān greets grandfather and grandmother. As well as father and mother."
My mother quickly walked towards me and made me stand up straight, while saying.
"My Chán Juān.. Oh, how you've grown.. And matured! The emperor will be oh so pleased with you!"
I tried not to feel hurt..
But in the end of the day.. I still held affection for my family.
My heart.. throbbed.
'So that's all you care about..?
In the end of the day, I'll always be a product in your eyes..
To be used and then tossed.'
'A pawn.. '
'A thing. '
'Not your.. daughter?'
I clenched my hands into fists underneath my long sleeves..
I felt.. hurt. I should've been used to it.. I shouldn't have kept any sort of expectations.. Let this, be the end.. Truly. Please..
Just why.. Did I still hold.. hope. I still wanted to be seen as myself.. Their daughter.. A.. Person.
Was that so wrong?
'Don't be selfish.. I got more then enough.. I should be thankful.. right-?' I forced a smile to appear on my face and gave my mother a curt nod.
We all exchanged a few more 'pleasantries', before I and a few of my sisters were transported towards the palace in a horse carriage.
I held the curtain from the carriage and looked out the window. Staring into the unknown, the distance.
'Soon.. My life will change.. Let me ingrain the outside.. In my mind.'
I was lost in thought and didn't notice that my 'sisters' were ridiculing me.
Though I was the first born daughter from the main wife..
'I'm cursed.'
My blood red eyes..
Make people fear me.
I'm a demon..
I'm cursed..
'"They're ugly."'
Every time I hear that..
I force a smile and brush over that subject..
'I might look 'beautiful' but my eyes.. Aren't it.'
I just hope I'll stay unnoticed..
'The more I'm favored the easier and quicker I'll die.'
I and my sisters soon arrived at the Imperial Palace and were escorted to the Celebration hall.
I really hope that I won't be chosen.. After all..
Today, is the concubine selection.
I entered the Celebration hall reluctantly, unlike most daughters from prominent families. 'Everyone' wanted to be selected..
I just, can't understand, why?
I get it.. yet I don't.
I was able to recognize pretty much everyone, yet, there was this one particular child. I had no clue who her father was, I did not recognize her, thus, she stuck out like a sore thump.
She was quite beautiful, her eyes.. You could say, were hypnotizing, she has.. Gorgeous blue eyes and.. oddly enough, a slit in between. It was by no means normal, yet, I adored it.
Then, the next thing I noticed was that, she had really long hair, it was waist length and it was a pretty shade of brown. Dark brown.. It wasn't just plainly straight either, it was.. Wavy.
Just, who was she? Honestly, my curiosity was peaked and it would soon be satiated, since she would also have her turn of being called.
Then we were all slowly 'presented' one by one.
'Like some mere products..' I couldn't help but to snort at myself mockingly.
"Chán Juān, the first legitimate daughter of the prime ministers house."
An eunuch of the emperor stated.
Snapping me out of my thoughts...
I lifted my head and looked up, forcing a smile as best as I could.
(Marry m-)
"Hum." The emperor hummed, giving me a single glance, before telling the eunuch to continue.
One by one everyone was presented..
And then, it was her turn too. The one, who peaked my curiosity.
"Aiko Mei Satchi." The Eunuch introduced the girl. "The granddaughter of Mei Satchi, the duke of the past family."
I- Did not see that coming, it was shocking in the least, however I had other things to worry about at the moment.
Because, our fate was sealed. Due to that man, the emperor and.. His mere words. Possibly even, my future husband.
'After this, we'll know if we made the cut or not..'
'I honestly don't care...
Whatever the outcome may be..
It won't change my damn ending.'
I thought to myself, with an insincere smile, appearing on my face.
"And thus, the emperor has decided that, ..."
The eunuch starting stating names.. Conveying titles.. Ranks.
I didn't really listen to him..
My life flashing before my eyes..
Before I heard a sudden shout.
"Impudence!! Accept the royal degree of his majesty!"
The eunuch suddenly shouted.. at me-??
I quickly fell to my knees, asking for forgiveness and accepting that darn royal degree.
"Please excuse this subject impudence your majesty!! I was shortsighted and didn't see your glory.. I, Chán Juān, your loyal subject, shall accept your degree!!"
I stated, while kneeling and having my arms held up to accept the royal degree.
I dared myself to take a short glimpse of his majesty and our eyes met..
He.. looked coldly at me, as if looking at a mere insect.. a toy.
I quickly snapped out of it and didn't dare to look at him again. Sweat slowly forming on my back.
After that exhausting ordeal..
I was led to my residence.
One of the palace maids bowed to me and stated.
"Noble Consort, his majesty will not be coming today, you can head to bed."
She waited for me to acknowledge what she stated, before leaving.
"Hum." I hummed and she gracefully, yet quietly left.
.
.
.
I waited a few more moments, before making sure I was alone.
*Sighs..*
I let out a big sigh and decided to go on a walk, in 'my' garden now. My new 'home'.
'I only got this high of a position because of who my father is..'
At least, that's my opinion. Something else wouldn't make any sense.
The wind was coldly blowing through my hair as I watched the sunset, with yearning eyes.
And thus...
Two years passed, in the blink of an eye.
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LISTEN, DON'T COME AT ME- I'LL EXPLAIN THE TIME SKIP- (and apologize for the big time skip- Because I also usually hate those- ANYWAYS)
next chapter...
Hehe~
OPINION PLEASE
I'm an insecure about my work, especially since it's my first proper one. Anyways, I just hope you like it thus far.