Song: Kid Cudi - Day N Nite (slowed + reverb)
𝔚𝔚𝔚
Nico
"I don't understand."
The loud thud of his steps echo's in my mind and I bring a hand up to rub at my temples.
"You've pissed off the Italians and now the Russian's."
They get louder as he nears me.
"The penthouse is a mess."
Fuck this place.
I hated it.
I couldn't sleep here, nor could I stand to be anywhere.
Not the bedroom, the kitchen, the hallway, no matter where I went an air of melancholy followed and I didn't want to think about why or who was causing it.
But it's like every corner I turned, my brain flashed with images of her there.
I hated it.
But more so, I hated myself for thinking so irrationally.
I wasn't an irrational man. I was calm, collective and organised.
Only the minute I got hit with a wave of emotions I couldn't deal with, I did something I knew I'd later loath myself for.
I was mad at her, but I hated myself.
Jesus Christ, emotions were confusing as fuck.
"Not to mention, the man you've been searching for has been living in your building for the past week."
The pounding in my head gets worse.
"He blew up ten mil worth of product."
Fuck, I forgot how shitty getting cross faded with no sleep was.
"He's standing behind that door." That gets my attention and I look up to see the vein on Sammy's forehead pop out as he nods towards the door to the left of the elevator that led to the staircase. "And you're sitting here getting drunk?"
"High." I respond, bringing the blunt to my lips, before reaching forward and swiping the bottle of scotch to pour into my glass.
He stops and looks towards me, "What?"
"I'm getting high." I say, setting the bottle down and leaning back in my seat on the couch before nodding towards the elevator. "Tell the stick thin pencil to get the fuck out of my house."
"That's it?" Sammy seems out of breath and I look up to see him throwing his hand up in the air like he's had enough. I eye those signature pit stains.
"No." I respond, my body tranquil as I bring my glass to my lips and take a sip. "You can get the fuck out too, while you're at it."
I down the glass and pour myself another.
Getting drunk wasn't going to solve my problems, all it'd do was make me more inclined to reach into my nightstand and pull out the small tin of coke i'd once dashed in there, and snort it until I forgot my name along with hers.
But I was miserable, in the mood to self sabotage, and who really gave a shit about me anyways?
A door slams shut.
I pause.
Sammy knew better than to slam a door in my house and when I look up to see a stick thin white boy glaring at me, my body tenses, before I realise I don't give a fuck.
I relax back into my seat and watch his face turn red as he fumes. "What the fuck did you do to my sister?"
I eye everything from his wrapped up arm to his old shoes. How this ugly motherfucker was related to her was beyond me.
But they were related. She was Danny's sister.
My gut was right.
I fucking knew something was up with her, and I would've figured it out sooner had she not been such a good distraction.
I was right to hate her, because this overwhelming feeling I had for her, made the distance away from her that much fucking worse. It's so bad that the mere mention of her makes me want to rip my heart out and shove it down Danny's throat until he suffocates.
"She hasn't said a word to me all week." He continues.
I bring the blunt to my lips and tilt my head as I examine his cast from where I'd shot him twice. It'd be so easy. I could have him dead in the span of the next seven seconds.
But I don't.
A bitter smile makes its way to my lips. "Not my problem you're a shitty brother."
"I'm not-" He starts but cuts himself off with a harsh breath as he shakes his head. An action that tells me he's starting to realise it too.
"You're no fucking saint either." His lips curl and his temper flares.
Maybe he was related to Josie.
They both had bad tempers.
Only unlike when her temper flares, this makes me want to put a bullet through his head. "What kind of man that claims to love someone, shoots her brother right in front of her and then makes her clean the blood off the floor."
My hand tightens around the glass in my hand and I wan forward and toss my blunt into the ashtray, ignoring the way my body itches to beat the shit out of him. "I don't fucking love her."
"Yeah, no shit." He scoffs, "A psycho like you doesn't even fucking know how to love."
Every bone in my body aches to do something. Snap his neck. Shoot his dick off. Suffocate him until his swamp coloured eyes dull.
But, I don't give him the reaction he wants. I wasn't going to kill him, and with the way he's staring at me like he wants to kill me yet has no weapon on himself, tells me that we may share the same reason.
Josie Dumont.
"What kind of brother leaves his sister behind in a cult full of rapists." I sit forward and despite the slight edge to my voice, my answer makes my blood boil.
He left her.
He let her live like that for years.
He was a lousy piece of shit.
Yet she chose him. Not me.
I cared for her more than he ever would. I was better to her than he ever was. And she not only lied to my face, she was protecting him.
I was supposed to have her loyalty.
Danny takes a step closer to me, "What kind of man outs something that's not there's to tell?!"
My jaw ticks and I glance away from him, rubbing my jaw.
If there was one thing about that day I regret, it was opening my fat ass mouth and saying that shit.
In my defence, I thought he'd known, I mean he was her fucking brother, and the signs were obvious.
"That was her story to tell!" He continues, working himself up. "I wasn't supposed to hear that my sister was raped from you-"
I see it coming. My hand even twitches on instinct to grab his that's coming towards my face, but I let him hit me.
It doesn't hurt nearly as much as I want it to and I rub my jaw, narrowing my eyes at his functioning puny little noodle arm.
He couldn't even punch properly.
"You had no fucking business telling me that shit!" He explodes.
Once I get enough of his bitching, I slowly stand. Danny may have been built like a stick, but he was tall. Almost as tall as I was.
"And you had no fucking business, causing this mess in the first place when you decided to run away." I speak. "Tell me, why exactly did you want out?"
Perhaps if it had anything to do with her, I'd be less inclined to bash his head into the wall.
His hand forms into a fist at his side and he looks down to the ground, almost guiltily. I tilt my head, curiously as something suddenly makes itself clear in my mind. "Don't tell me you were planning on running away with that little boyfriend of yours?"
His piercing green eyes snap to mine and when they narrow slightly, I know my assumption is true.
My hand flexes at my side and I give a humourless chuckle. "How fucking romantic." I stop laughing and stare at him, until he shifts uncomfortably. "And what exactly were you gonna do with your sister?"
A small crack echos through the room and I look down to realise the glass of scotch in my hand has cracked from how hard I'm gripping it.
"Doesn't matter now, not after you killed him." He accuses, the unhinged glint in his eyes sparked with pure hatred.
Although Danny wasn't the strongest nor was the the smartest, he was crazy.
Purely insane.
He'd find a way to kill even me given the right incentive and I was sure he could very well succeed.
I didn't kill his little boyfriend, I didn't even know Kai was dead. He was quiet and kept to himself, only ever speaking when he brought me my money.
But Danny didn't need to know that.
"He made it too easy." I say, my lips twitching when his face completely drops. "So then what are you waiting for, big boy." I step closer, "Kill me. Get even."
His hand shakes and I can see it in his eyes. He's thinking of it, probably came up with at least two creative ways to do it.
And all I needed to do was manipulate him into doing it.
But he seems to almost instantly snap out of if. "No." I roll my eyes as he continues. "You want that though, right? You want me to kill you because you're too scared to do it yourself."
I narrow my eyes at the piece of shit.
There was little stopping me from paradise.
And I wasn't scared, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Not yet, anyway.
Not when my mind was so preoccupied thinking of her.
"Oh don't worry, though. I'll do you one better." Danny speaks. I send him a dry look, only it gets wiped off the second he opens his mouth, "Josie will eventually get over you."
"She'll find someone better, I'll make sure of it." The thought makes my blood boil as I set my sights on Danny. "And he'll be good to her," My hand flexes at my side and I set my glass down before taking a step closer to him. "So good that she'll even move in with him, marry him. Have his babies-"
I don't give him time to finish his sentence before I've twisted his wounded arm, and pushed him up against the wall. Cherishing the way he screams out in pain and can't fight back. I grip his neck, and push him further into the wall before craining his neck in an unnatural way. "Watch your fucking mouth." I seethe.
He grunts out in pain yet the sound isn't enough to distract me from the way my ears ring and my temper snaps.
The thought of her with someone else was maddening.
She may not have been completely mine right now but she sure as fuck wasn't anyone else's.
"I might not be able to kill your pathetic ass," I seethe in his face, using the grip around his neck to twist his head, "But I will gladly paralyze you from the waist down in two seconds. Don't fucking test my patience."
Danny doesn't say anything for a long moment and we're engulfed in silence.
Until he eventually speaks, the snarl on his face, somewhat defeated. "At least I've realised I've been shitty. You're still sitting here, bitter and self sabotaging, without realising that you're the one who's to blame for all this shit." I squeeze on his neck so hard that his white face begins to turn red.
"I may not know a lot but I know that for some fucked up reason my little sister cares about you and thinks she loves you." He chokes, gasping for air yet makes no move to fight my hold, "And if you cared about her at all, you'd do the right thing."
The right thing.
I loosen my hold, for once interested in what this no good twig has to say. "Which is?"
"Let her go once and for all."
I shake my head with a harsh exhale, "You know, I really thought you'd say something useful for once in your life." Disappointment and annoyance flares in my chest.
Despite what had happened between us, letting her go wasn't an option.
She was still mine and I'd kill any man who thought otherwise.
"She's not herself anymore." Danny snaps me out of my thoughts, his voice frustrated and somewhat serious. "She doesn't talk. She doesn't even get out of bed." His jaw ticks and he looks away from me, "She's blowing up her entire future because of what you put her through."
"How self righteous of you to pin the blame on me alone." I let go of him completely, and nudge him towards the elevator. I was done listening to his shit. "Get the fuck out of my house."
And unlike the last time I'd kicked a Dumont out of my house, I don't care about him enough to repeat myself or question my decision.
He turns around and begins to limp out of the room, and I can't help myself when I ask in a low voice. "Is she eating?"
He stops with his back turned to me. "No."
I pour myself another glass of scotch as I wait for the sound of the elevator to ding and tell me he's left.
"Do the right thing."
For someone with no sense of true empathy, the right thing was subjective.
But then again, I had a screwed up sense of morality, one that I was realizing revolved around a particular brown eyed brunette.
She betrayed me.
She lied to me.
She hurt me.
Yet despite all that, I was going to do the right thing.
Josie
I thought I'd grown out of my fear of the dark.
Yet here I was, lying in the same bed that had once been my brothers, staring at the old nightlight plugged into the wall, my heart jumping every time the bulb flickers.
I hated this room.
It reminded me of the first time I'd come to New York and stayed in Daniels old room, in the apartment he'd shared with Wes and Kai. I was so happy to be sharing something that was once my brothers.
Now, though, I was stuck here simply because I had no where else to go.
Aside from sharing a tiny two bedroom apartment with Daniel, Wes and a confused Ella - I hadn't spoken a word to any of them in the week I'd been here.
I couldn't bring myself to say anything, nor could I bring myself to move from my position all that much, unless it was to use the bathroom or take an aspirin to stop the raging headaches.
Headaches that were a consequence of crying myself to sleep when I was already dehydrated.
Luckily tonight, I was too preoccupied staring at Mr.Sun as he dimmed to his last flicker of light before dying completely to cry.
Mr. sun dies and I reach over, unplug the thing before chucking it across the room, where the sound of the bulb shattering to little tiny pieces echos throughout the room.
I wait for someone to barge in. Wes was a light sleeper, Ella startled easily and Danny was practically glued to my door. But no one comes, and when the anxiety creeps in and I can't take the darkness anymore, I get up.
My ankles crack as I stand, the muscle memory triggering my steps, nearly gone as I take a tentative step towards the light switch and hit the buttons.
Only it doesn't work.
With an annoyed breath, I open the bedroom door and step into the dark hallway before moving towards the living room. I'd have to drag the large lamp behind the armchair into the room in order to get some sleep but I was now starting to regret getting out of bed.
The silence in the apartment is suffocatingly still which leads me to believe that everyone's gone. Leaving me here, all alone.
I make it to the small living room where the moonlight shines through the large windows, and navigate to the light switch.
It doesn't work either.
But before I can run back into the room and grab my phone, a soft clank against hardwood sounds, stopping me in my tracks.
I look to the ground by my feet and in the stream of light casting on the floor from the moon, I make out the object as it rolls towards me.
A black lighter.
The situation is an instant reminder of one i'd been in months ago, on my first night in New York.
The night when he'd come to visit me.
My shoulders tense, the hairs on the back of my neck rise as awareness prickles every inch of exposed skin not covered by Wes' old t-shirt.
He's here.
I'm tempted to speak, to yell, to back away but I don't.
I merely look towards the ground as the sight of his shoes comes into my vision. "You remember when I told you the next time you forget to eat, I'd shove the food down your throat?" Despite being apart for nearly a week, the sound of his voice remains familiar, reminding me of all things Nico. "I wasn't bluffing."
His strong hands, his clean scent, his suffocating presence.
I glare at the lighter on the floor, I don't look at him.
I take a few steps back, until I'm standing infront of the couch, a good distance away from him while he sets something down onto the coffee table between us.
"Eat." His voice is hard and I finally look up at him. Our eyes connect, his grey ones instantly flickering across my face, and when his face softens at the sight, he almost looks like he cares. "Please."
I blink back tears, lean down, grab the bag of what I presume is food before I chuck it at him as hard as I can.
It hits him right in the chest and there must've been soup inside, because something liquidy spills out, coating him from chest down to his feet.
But I don't care.
I simply glare at him as I let the look in them say what I won't.
Screw you.
If only I'd listened to the rational voice in my head all those months ago telling me to stay away from him.
Life would be so much easier.
Liquid drips from his shirt, and while I can't make out what it is exactly, I purposely ignore the aroma of spices and a home cooked meal.
My stomach grumbles.
But I'd die before taking something from him again.
It's as though he reads this on my face when he suddenly steps forward, his eyes piercing as he stares at me. He reaching towards the arm chair and pulls out another bag of food before tossing it onto the coffee table. His face determined. "I'm not leaving until you eat."
I meet his stare head on, not willing to back down and when the look in his eyes tells me the same, I know I won't be getting rid of him.
And so ever so slowly, I reach forward, open the bag and peer inside before reaching for the bread. I keep eye contact as I slowly take a bite and chew. M
Nico watches me, his broad shoulders dropping ever so slightly in relief almost. I take the opportunity to angle my head up, chew my food once more, before spitting it right into his face.
He stills, and his eyes widen ever so slightly as he stares at me in outrage.
I blink back at him while his jaw ticks, as he looks like he's forcing his mouth shut. I turn away and take a few steps to go back into my room but he fists a chunk of my T-shirt and pulls me towards him where I'm left to stare up through the dark at his dangerously calm face. "You can hit me, throw shit and spit at me all you want." He dips his head and gets in my face. "I'm not fucking leaving until you eat."
I stare at him, not daring to speak and he must read the rebellion on my face because he exhales a harsh breath, "Jesus, what do I have to say for you to sit your ass down and eat?"
I still don't respond. He didn't seem to like the silent treatment, which was why I wasn't going to stop.
He lets go of me and pushes me back, as he walks towards the kitchen. "That I fucked up?" I land on the couch with a soft thud, and watch him. He looks bothered as he grabs a paper towel, wets it and begins to wipe at his face.
But I can tell he's in his own fit of frustration with the tone of his voice and the way his jaw is clenched. "That I said shit I didn't mean because I was feeling... I don't fucking know- hurt?"
He runs a hand through his hair and when he looks towards me, I still don't give him a reaction.
"Fucking hell, Bambi." He tosses the paper towel down, walks towards me and drops to his haunches before me, his voice hard but the look in his eyes somewhat pleading. "Say something. Anything."
And I can't keep it in anymore. "You kicked me out." My voice is quiet, as I glare at my lap. "You made me clean up Daniel's blood off your floors." My hands turn into fists as the events of that night run through my mind.
I'd felt so guilty and awful, only to realise that I wasn't in the wrong. It wasn't my fault.
It was his.
A tear of frustration glides down my cheek as I look up into Nico's eyes. "You purposefully made me feel small by reminding me of just how little financial ability I had."
His brings a hand up to wipe at my tear but I move my head away. "You made me choose between my brother and the man I love-loved." I correct, as I watch the way his face drops at my last sentence.
He runs his tongue over his teeth, as if forcing himself to keep his mouth shut. "All because you felt hurt and betrayed?"
His jaw ticks, and he grips out his response. "You lied to me-"
"So did you." I cut off, my voice quiet and pathetically sad. Just like how I'd been feeling this past week. "But you don't see me using it as an excuse to try and manipulate you."
His eyes flicker away from mine and he looks down, while his thumb absentmindedly rubs my knee.
"I'm not your Bambi, I'm not your Josie baby." I kick his hand away and stand. "I don't want anything from you and I'm not going to eat until you leave."
He stares at me, his gaze pensive before he gets up, and looks down at me. "I'll fix this." He suddenly declares, lifting his hand to hold my face in his hands.
"We're beyond repair, Nico." I say, pushing his hands off me and stepping away from him, my voice emotionless and cold. "Now, get out, I don't want to see you again."
He must see something in my eyes, or perhaps it's the lack of emotion or care that seems to hit him hard, because he stands there, not like the powerful put together man I know. But like a lost one as he looks at me. "Pero te amo." (Spanish| but I love you)
"No, no lo haces." I give my head a shake. "You don't put someone you love in a middle of a fight they have no part in. You ruined whatever this was." (Spanish | no you don't.)
His eyes blaze and he opens his mouth to say something but I beat him to it.
"Get out." My voice softens as I look up at him. "Please."
And after a moment of tense silence, with a tight jaw, and tense shoulders, he walks out.
And I know it's only because I'd said please.
𓆩❤︎𓆪
Guysss I'm gonna be unresponsive bc there's a HUGE power outage in Canada and half the population doesn't have service/wifi/ data :/
So I'll reply and talk to u guys tomorrow... hopefully?
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Also:
Did y'all think I'd do the whole "miscommunication doing what's best for u" thing for a second there? If so:
HOW DARE U THINK I WOULD BUILD UP MY STORY JUST TO RUIN IT LIKE THAT.
Alsooo what did we think? Who's ready for Nico to grovel?
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Also guys I made a pintrest and made boards for each of my stories, and who knows maybe I'll post aesthetics sneak peeks for my next story. It's @bazookahh nickname is zookah.
Idk if u can even search me up by my username.
Anyways ily and gn <3 oh and Eid Mubarak <333