Happy birthday to my friend that read this! I am literally eating her birthday cake as I write this.
Oh, also warnings!: Bad smutish writing! Blame it on the chocolate cake! Needs editing!
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"I think she is part frost giant..." Loki says making the room go deadly silent as the blue begins to spread all over me as I walk backwards until my back hit the wall harshly making me let out a quick breath in surprise not expecting it to be so close.
Everyone watches me in either shock or worry as I felt a mix from their marks but feeling their eyes was making an emotion stir in me.
A stone-cold feeling grows through my veins as I feel a hatred that I never felt before. It travels quickly through me like the blue on my skin as fear starts to consume me all over.
"I don't like this" I admit out loud wanting it to stop.
"Doll" Bucky says taking a step towards me which made me more scared my back pressing against the wall.
"Stay back!" I shout the ice attaching to the wall behind me growing with my fear "you're okay Fae you just need to breathe" Nat says making me look at them seeing the worry across all their faces but my eyes stop at the reflection on the tv behind them.
Eyes that weren't my own stared right back at me making my stomach drop.
"I don't understand" I say again scared as I look at my brother for answers but notice the shift in Bucky's posture from the corner of my eye.
It was little but I saw it as well as the knowing look Steve was sending him.
"Kitten" Loki says sadly making me look up back to him our eyes meeting letting me see how much I was hurting him.
I could feel the rejection from his mark but also the understanding.
He was hating how afraid of myself I was because that meant I was also afraid of a part of him too "I-" say speechless.
"It's impossible" I say to the room "I can't be giant anything I-"
"Fae it's okay" Bruce promises "yes lady Fae it's part of your heritage theirs nothing to be afraid of-"I frown looking at Cedric if I am part or half giant then what about him?
He has no ice powers.
"Sister..." Cedric says looking in fear making my stomach drop "did you know?" I ask in a whisper and he shakes his head "of course not! It doesn't make sense" he says but I could hear the pitch that goes higher whenever he is keeping something from me.
Why is he lying?
The pain shooting through my veins only gets worse with my raising fear and I fight myself not to react "I want to be alone" I say sternly "angel.." Tony tries but I begin walking away not knowing how much I can continue controlling the new rage that is bubbling under my skin.
At least this time they let me go.
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When the lift opens to my door I run in closing the door behind me taking a deep breath as I lean against it to calm down but it doesn't work as I look back my eyes widening as it froze over.
I'm not able to control it like I normally could I step away from the door everything feeling like it wasn't real.
I can't freeze things without water.
What the hell is happening to me?
"It's okay" Loki says appearing behind me out of nowhere making me jump as I walk right back into him. Getting scared my powers shoot out of my hands without me wanting them to as the ice hit the floor making me about to cry in frustration when I feel arms wrapping around me and spinning me around.
He pulls me to his chest keeping one arm wrapped around my waist as the other moves up to the back of my head running his hands through my hair and whispering that things will be okay.
After a while his touch starts calming me down as I feel the sparks fly all around us his comfort making me feel a feeling I never truly felt since before I meet him.
Safe.
Tears begin to fall as I forgot what it felt like "I know" he says in almost a whisper tightening his hold on me "when I first turned I was so angry to find out I was half frost giant I argue with my father and put him in odinsleep which is basically a coma-"
"Loki" I say hearing the upset in his voice "but there is nothing to fear in being one of us this power of hatred can be used for protecting the ones we love" he says pulling back to look down at me.
His skin was now the same colour blue as my own his eyes red looking beautiful as he did the first time.
"Wow" he whispers looking me over in awe "you're not one of those avatar creatures are you?" he asks making me tilt my head confused "a smurf?" he teases and I realise he was mimicking me from when I first saw him like this.
"I-"
"You're beautiful" he promises rubbing his finger against my face and wiping the tear stains away "we are beautiful" he says sternly looking down at me even though it looked like he hesitated when he thought of himself but then he turned stern mumbling something about understanding something now.
"Say it" he says "you are-e" I say meaning it and he tsks tapping his thumb against my cheek before moving his hand down. His fingers caressing my skin as he moves his hand under my chin tilting my head back "that's not what I asked is it?" he says squinting his red eyes at me "now try again pet"
If I wasn't so upset id consider biting him for being so demanding.
"I would enjoy that kitten but now is not the time" he smirks tightening his grip slightly but not to hurt me "now say it"
"We-e are beautiful" I say my voice still dry from not having a drink and he smiles "good girl"
I feel butterflies in my stomach at the way he looks down at me "and don't read my mind!" I say realising he must have that power as I try to kick him he smirks moving out of the way and disappearing in green smoke before I feel him behind me.
"Look" he says lifting my arm behind me and I look down seeing the blue disappearing on my skin as the anger in my veins gets weaker. I turn back and Loki's once red eyes turn back to their blueish green entrancing me so I couldn't look away and I know he was still listening to my thoughts by the glint in his eyes.
"Kiss me" I whisper and his smirk falls looking surprised for a few seconds "w-what?" he asked to make sure he heard me right "kiss me" I say more determined this time needing to forget everything that just happened.
Needing contact.
Loki looks deep in thought for a few seconds before looking me over to make sure I want this "please" I say and he looks in my eyes to make sure before seeing I meant it "well you did ask so prettily" he purrs leaning down slowly still looking in my eyes for permission so I tiptoe up meeting his lips halfway.
He wraps his arms around my waist once again pulling me closer and my arms wrap around his neck to keep me steady even though it was hard with how tall he is. He licks my bottom lip for permission and I open meeting his tongue with my own. He begins to explore my mouth nibbling now and then that I can't help but moan.
I need this.
Need to forget.
His chest rumbles in almost a growl as he heard my moan "damn it" he says bending down he lifts me up to his waist transporting us my eyes widen in confusion as we are now in another room. The room is green and black with little golden details around but the dark green vines with the tall castle like furniture everywhere made it look like it was out of this world.
"Your brother was coming up so I moved us to mine" he explains and I hum meeting his lips once again when he moves us to his bed dropping me down on the black silk sheets which I easily slip as he climbs over me making me let out a little laugh as I pull him down to my lips once again but he stops this time.
"What are we?" he asks "beautiful" I say blushing and he smirks "good girl" he repeats but this time when he says it. It makes me feel butterflies down below as I pull him back down to me his lips attach to mine once again his hands begin exploring me as I explore his upper body my hands going under his shirt as I feel my heart quicken as I feel around his toned chest.
I raise his top slowly and he pulls away from the kiss to help me lifting it over his head it gets flung away from the bed as I take in his upper defined body I bite my bottom lip and he grins cockily "careful kitten try that with Strange, Steve or Bruce and see what happens" he says his thumb pulling my bottom lip out his eyes becoming more lustful as he rubs his finger against the swelling "what are we?" he asks his voice deeper now "beautiful" I say.
"Keep repeating it" he orders and I listen repeating it as he begins kissing down my neck making me moan as he sucks and bites on certain parts till he finds the right spot that has me gasping "found it" he growls sucking on it I can't help but moan louder as he nibbles against my throat "I love watching you squirm under me"
"Please" I whimper and he chuckles rubbing his hand up and down my sides turning me on further "what pet? what is it you want?"
"You" I say needing him "are you sure?" he asks his face serious trying to read all of me to make sure "I want you to tell me stop when this gets too far is that clear?" he says sternly and I nod not wanting him to stop.
"I need verbal consent pet"
"I'll tell you if I want to stop" I say and he smiles at this as I feel want and need from his mark.
He leans down moving his mouth once again against mine as his hands begin to go under my shirt hitting skin on skin contact I feel relief.
I need the comfort in this.
The chance to forget everything for a little while.
He suddenly stops his eyes widening and I frown confused "what is it?" I worry I did something wrong "your still upset..." he says and I realise he was still reading my thoughts "I said get out of my head!" I say angrily "pet sex isn't the answer-"
"Stop" I beg I don't want to speak about it "I want you to have sex because you want to... because our feelings for each other want us to complete the bond not because you want to forget things. I won't take advantage of you when you are upset kitten let's speak instead-"
I shake my head sitting up now he sits back sitting in front of me as I feel my mood drop guilt fills me as I realise he is right.
"Lay with me-" he tries but I go to stand despite wanting to stay in the silk bedding "I rather be alone" but he stops me before I can get up "then stay" he says pecking my head before getting up "mother always brought me tea to help me sleep and a book" he says using his magic to make a beautiful cup and a book appear next to me on a matching tray.
"It won't get cold" he winks as I went to argue he disappears leaving me behind in his room.
The thought to leave and going back to my room comes first to mind but I remember Loki saying about Cedric and I didn't want to see him right now but was it wrong for me to stay?
I found my gaze looking at the book he left on the side.
The Secret Garden huh?
I open it and begin reading it drinking the tea that weirdly managed to stay warm like he promised until I found myself falling asleep in the silk bedding early hours of the morning but not before I decided what it is I need to do.
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"Morning" I hear a soft voice as I open my eyes to see Wanda standing next to the bed "if your up for it we got breakfast for this morning" she says and I hum trying to wait for my brain to catch up "breakfast?" I ask and she laughs "yeah got a variety we are all there even Bruce came down for a change"
"And my brother?" I ask watching her to see if I can sense any lie but she didn't look to be giving any "he went back to his this morning he said he will be back this afternoon he really wants to see you and is worried after the last couple of days... we all are" she admits "how are you feeling?" she asks as I sit up "I'm okay" I say on instinct something I have done all my life without even thinking about it.
Even if I'm not okay I say it before I can even think about it.
"It's okay if you aren't" I hear Wanda mumble and I look at her in surprise as she blushes "not saying that your lying but I want you to know I'm here if you ever wanna open up" she explains and I smile looking down at the bag she has her hands.
Did Loki tell them about last night?
"Clothes" she explains handing them to me "thank you I really need to get shopping so I can finally have stuff here" I mumble in thought "wait does that mean?!" she asks excitedly and I hum "I have decided but ill wait to speak to all of you" I explain and she tries to hide a smile "okay! Ill see you downstairs!" she says practically running out of the room as I pick up the outfit deciding to have a quick shower before heading down.
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When the elevator opens I see everyone here surprised to see Pepper and Strange who I know work and the twins with Peter who attends college.
"Morning" Strange is the first to greet me as he and Bruce sat drinking coffee at the counter "how are you feeling?" Bruce asks looking me over as I see food all across the counters made all left untouched meaning they were waiting for me.
Now I feel even more guilty.
"I'm okay..." I mumble "what happened the other night?" I was referring back to Nickson and Nat walks over handing me a coffee and I thank her "he drugged you but we were able to interfere before anything bad happen" she says.
Damn, I need to speak to Cedric and see if they got what they were looking for.
I take a sip deciding to learn what happened later "so sister said you decided?" Pietro asks straight to the point as Clint slaps him "we said to wait till she is ready!"
"Would you rather food first we got the caters to making all kinds of breakfast dishes we thought you might want it after the last couple of days" Pepper says getting a plate and handing it to me first "If it was up to Tony you would have ended up with jam on toast" she teases as I accept it awkwardly hating the room watching me like this.
"I make the best though don't I angel?" he asks me as I place the cup and plate down "is the job offer still available?" I ask straight away never being one for beating around the bush and they all look at me in surprise but Pepper moves first "of course I can get you a job by tomorrow I'm sorry happy you decided to accept"
"Does this mean you are staying?" Peter asks a hopeful look in his eyes "yes I want to stay"
"Yes!" I feel arms around me spinning me around "Pietro!" everyone shouts as he puts me down giving me a sheepish smile "this is joyous news! Lady Fae we are more than happy-"
"You're not mad about last night?" Nat asks suspicious getting glares of some of the others in the room for bringing it up "I was at first... but I understand you were all trying to protect me from getting upset" I smile and I see her raise an eyebrow to the soldiers "not everyone holds grudges Romanoff" Tony says waving her off "angel this is amazing I can get started on your floor as soon as possible!" he says rambling on how better things will be from now on.
'Kitten' I hear Loki say concern in my head but I do my best to block him out not wanting to look at him.
I couldn't trust my thoughts around him.
"I want to pay rent though and no going easy on me at work just because I'm your mate" I say and they all nod "does this mean you'll not accept any dangerous jobs for a while?" Clint asks "or steal?" Sam adds in standing next to the very quiet soldiers "if I have an income and I can support the centre then I have no need to" I smile and I feel a relief from all of them "speaking of which I need to get going" I say feeling guilty as I look at the dishes "what? why?" Clint asks "shopping for the centre I have duties" I shrug feeling the gutted feeling from their marks.
"But ill take this for the road! thank you I appreciate it" I say taking a bite of toast before taking a giant gulp of my coffee before pouring it down the sink.
Damn she makes good coffees.
"You really gotta go?" Wanda asks sadly "yeah we all got today of-" Pietro begins when Strange cuts him off "may I offer you a portal there? It will be quicker so you can have chance to eat-" he asks standing but I shake my head "no its okay! Sorry I gotta go guys!" I say leaving quickly feeling the guilt as I make my way to the elevator to go down.
I can't risk spending time and falling for them when I don't know the whole truth with Bucky.
I won't let myself fall easily again.
Not after last time.
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I knock loudly knowing he would still be sleeping so I wasn't surprised when it takes him 5 minutes to wake up and finally answer the door.
"Who waking me up this early-" he grumbles then pauses when he sees me. His eyes widen as he opens the door "Fae?" he asks looking me over in concern as I stood at his front door his eyes lingering on the hickeys on my neck but he doesn't say anything as he hugs me "are you okay?" he asks pulling back checking me over once again.
"Yes but I need your help... can I come in?"
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"You're crazy!" Kyle says and I hum sitting on his couch drinking another coffee.
Nats tasted better.
"No way are you staying there when you think one of them tried murdering you! And you think two of them know about it and are hiding it?!" he asks me like I was crazy and I was considering it to "where even is the book now?" he asks me.
"I don't know they took it" I shrug wondering if it was in their room.
"Maybe I need to steal it back"
"No! Fae this is crazy!"
"Getting answers from an inside job would be easier" I say and he frowns "so what you accept the job of Pepper then you're going to keep living there until you find out if the ex-winter soldier once tried killing you?! No! no way am I letting you go back there what would Cedric say!" he says and I bite my gum in thought but he caught it.
"What?" he asks seeing my reaction.
"I think he knows" I mumble and he pauses his walking "Cedric would never-"
"I'm telling you I saw the way he looked at me last night he wasn't surprised... not one bit he looked more afraid that I found something out and Bucky too-" I tried to explain. Staying up reading and drinking tea got me thinking.
Both things have to be related "I just know I can feel it" I say "and what about the rest of them? You could be walking into a lion's pit!" he stresses.
"That's why I am asking for your help I need help from the outside at least until I get answers but I don't think the rest of them know-" I mumble thinking back to last night and how things almost went between me and Loki and the guilt I felt for trying to use him like that.
I look back at up seeing Kyle glare at the hickeys as the room went quiet.
"What?" I ask.
"You seriously slept with one of them?" he asks pointing to my neck "after knowing they might-"
"I was upset and it never went there" I reply knowing that's not a good enough excuse I know he saw the guilt written on my face and his anger falls walking over he sits next to me rubbing my back up and down "I know how you get" he whispers "it will be okay baby"
"I hope so" I mumbled looking at the time I lied about needing to get shopping.
At the time my heart was racing, butterflies in my stomach from all the worry and care from their marks. I never had people do something so amazing for me and it scared me.
I ran from it like the scardey cat I am.
"I gotta get going" I stand my legs heavy as I do I might as well go get some work clothes "you coming tonight?" he asks and I smile getting ready to leave "of course" as I walk out the door I stop remembering something "oh and Kyle" I say turning back and he hums "can you look something else up for me?" I ask and he nods waiting for me to ask me what it is "I need you to see if you can find any information you can on frost giants on earth and if that doesn't work lookup frost giants on Midgard"