B L A I R A L D E R I D G E
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The soft cry of a baby is the first thing I hear once I step out of my car, quickly walking walking up to the front door with my bag on my shoulder and unlocking the door and walking into the little townhouse.
My feet drag me into the small living room, after dropping my bag at the door, to see my dad pacing around the room holding my crying son in his toned arms.
For the past four years it's just been my dad and me, after my mother's unexpected death four years ago we wanted to get a fresh start in the city and then last year was when I fell pregnant and had my son, Reese, and ever since then it's just been the three of us.
"Hey dad." I bring Reese into my arms, his cries softening when he sees it's me. Such a mummy's boy.
"Hey sweetheart, he's hungry but there's no more formula or milk left, so I was waiting for you to get home." He kisses the top of my head and takes a seat on the gray couch.
"No formula? I thought we had enough for the week." I walk into the adjoining kitchen, checking the cabinets.
"Not that I could find." His tired, droopy eyes meet mine from the living room. "Do you want me to go get some from the store?"
"No it's okay, you stay home and get some sleep while I go and get some after I feed him." He nods his head before sitting down on the couch. I walk up the stairs and into my bedroom, sighing at my messy bed and start feeding Reese, his mouth instantly attaching onto my breast and drinking my breast milk.
His light green eyes staring right at me as a singular drop of milk runs down his cheek.
TILL DEATH DO US PART
"I'll be back in an hour." I shut the door behind me and walk over to my car, carefully locking Reese in his car seat.
I start the car and turn the Aircon on, instantly giving me relief from the hot air outside. The drive to the grocery store is filled with Resse mumbling incoherent words and the soft hum of the music playing from the radio.
Walking into the store I grab a trolley and sit Reese down in it as before making my way over to the produce section and beginning to pick out all sorts of fruits and vegetables that we'll need for the week.
I take a detour down the chocolate aisle, placing a block of caramel chocolate into the trolley as a group of teenagers at the end of the aisle catch my attention.
I look up and watch as the three 'popular boys' from school argue over a bag of chips. The tallest and scariest looking one out of all of them, Levi Cooper, makes eye contact with me. Or more so the baby with me.
His sea glass coloured eyes run across all of Reese's small figure before meeting my empty stare. I start to feel self-conscious under his burning stare. The small green corset top and the demin shorts now feeling tighter against my body.
Reese's small fingers make contact with my long brown hair and I thankfully break away from his eyes and head back towards the end of the aisle. I feel his stare still on my body as I walk away and hear their previous conversation turning to the subject of me.
I pull up to the register and start loading everything from the trolley and onto the bench.
"How old is he?" The older woman behind the counter asks, looking up from her thick red glasses.
"He's 10 months." I give her a toothy smile.
"Well your parents have very handsome genes." Your parents.
"They do." I give her an awkward smile, not bringing her up on the error and pay for my groceries as quick as I can and head out to the parking lot, loading the back of my car with the many bags of food I bought, my arms dead from all the weight.
I load Reese back into his car seat, following suit right after and make my way to my favorite place.
TILL DEATH DO US PART
"What one should mama get Reese?" Rocking him in my arms. He doesn't respond but instead he lays his head on my chest and grabs onto my shirt, indicating he's hungry once again.
"Well that leaves one of us." I grab a bouquet of pink roses and walk up to the counter.
"You're back again." Margret, the owner of the flower store, smiles.
"I can never resist going to my favorite place everyday." She hands me the bouquet that's now wrapped with a brown paper around the plastic film.
"How many times have I said this Blair, you need to go live your life and stop spending all your time at a stupid flower shop, be a free teenager despite all the challenges you may face. You only live once Blair make it fun." She sends me another one of her motherly smiles, warming my heart at the small action.
"Goodbye Margret." I ignore her previous statement and walk out the glass door, the rusty bell ringing from above. "I'll see you soon."
"What am I going to do with you." I hear her mutter before leaving the store on the corner of the street.
Ever since I moved here at the start of highschool I've visited Margaret's flower shop almost 4 times a week, I would spend all my money on flowers every afternoon after school, or some days just sit and chat with her even helping her run it.
I'd listen to all her stories about her late husband and her children who have moved away, on with their own lives, and she's listened to my stories. The ones from when I was younger and life wasn't so black and white and the whole time I was pregnant I'd make time to visit her, even when I was meant to be on bedrest.
I watched her hair turn from brown to gray and she watched Reese grow from the day I found out I was pregnant.
TILL DEATH DO US PART
The monsterous heels on my feet beg to be taken off but as much as I'd love to be at home with my baby I need to work so I can make sure he grows up with everything he needs and to prove to all those sexist assholes that I don't need a significant other to fend off of, and prove my younger self that it all works out.
I know that when I get home I'm only going to get a couple hours of sleep before needing to wake up and take on my motherly responsibilities.
At first sitting at school all day and working all night was exhausting, especially with a newborn but after the first 5 months or so it became easier and staying up for more than 24 hours at a time became a piece of cake for me.
"You're on stage 3 in five minutes." My manager calls from the doorway in the locker room. I touch up my highlighter before walking out of the locker room, fixing my lingerie while I walk down to stage 3, swinging my hips more than necessary.
Thirsty eyes scan up and down my body, at all the exposed skin showing under the dim lights of the club. I attach myself onto the pole, walking around beging swinging myself up and latching onto the pole fully.
The first few months I was excited to work and get all this money but also a little creeped out over all the looks I'd get from guys. But after working here almost every night for months I eventually got drained of everything, no more exaggerated smiles or energetic energy throughout the night and even though I get more stares now they don't even bother me as much as they used too.
I've had many good nights and many bad nights at the club. I've seen many girls waltz in here thinking they'd stay here forever but after they realize how toxic, disgusting and draining this job is, they'd walk out 2 weeks.
I only do it for my family.
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J<3