I spent my time wisely while snuggling a baby.
Well, as wisely as one can when wallowing in the feelings of loss and desperation that one could feel when confronted with every thought and every ex that one has ever had.
On Monday, I was able to work through some things while I worked on bread dough. I'd also had a few planning meetings with my staff as far as actually handing over control of some orders to them to let them test the waters. I was paying attention, of course, but much like Chef had in Paris, I allowed them to put their own spin on my recipes and what had been ordered by the client.
It helped a bit.
I didn't necessarily want to kill my ex-boyfriends as much by the end of the day.
I still wanted to go steal my cat from Cam but to be honest, I had no space for my Eiffel and I was in the middle of getting the apartment over the bakery set up so that I could move into it at some point.
It was just more comforting to be at my mom's house right now.
I'd at least unblocked and turned on my phone to allow for messages from the guys. I'd even put their names back in my phone on the numbers that had long since been ignored.
Not forgotten by any means.
Just ignored.
It was actually rather stunning that in the two years Cam and I lived together that he'd never found them in my contacts. We passed our phones back and forth all the time to look at things on social media or to research things and laugh at things we found.
We just never delved into each others contact lists or I'd have recognized phone numbers just as he likely would have.
Anyway, I'd gotten over my madness at him and had sent him a barrage of messages about how horribly he'd been acting since he ghosted me and that it was rude to not tell me he'd arrived as I would have been more than happy to pick him up at the airport.
I'd also spent a significant amount of time bugging him for pictures of our baby.
The downside of this was that I had absolutely no time this week to try and meet up with him so it was pictures and videos only as we tried to figure out how to meet up. I didn't ask about the guys and he didn't tell me about them either.
My feelings by Wednesday were a little stung by the simple fact that none of the ones I'd dated had actually reached out to me about ANYTHING. And what I'd also had time to analyze is that Josh, particularly, due to his team at work, absolutely knew that I was around and I still was in the dark as to if he was avoiding me because of the reasons we'd broken up or if he'd moved on. I was happy to be home that night.
Mom was working.
I'd pulled off a successful baby shower that came with at least seven bookings for more baby showers, large orders of announcement cookies after each baby was born and four birthday parties that were going to happen within the next two months.
I was exhausted emotionally and physically. It was so good to just have the house to myself for a night. I dashed upstairs and took a quick shower before dressing in my standard at home uniform of shorts and a tank top that would allow me to beat the Charleston heat that had settled in for mid-July.
Revived by the shower, it was time to find something to eat. I'd at least managed to not need to go into work until tomorrow afternoon so I'd be able to sleep in and sleep off anything that I decided to partake in tonight. The shower was great but I hadn't eaten since lunch and it always took a lot of convincing for my clients to get me to eat anything while I was at the shower. I'd stayed for this one because she had been one of my brides before I went to Paris and I was so excited for her about the baby boy she was having.
My mind was on putting together something simple to go along with a bottle of wine as I entered the kitchen, I opened a drawer and found the corkscrew. I flipped it lightly in my hand as I studied the wine rack I'd had put in Mom's kitchen. I was more than excited about the plans for my own kitchen in the apartment that was going in above my shop. When I moved in there, I planned on having a much broader scope of wine available.
After all, I had become a connoisseur of fine French wines while I was away. I mentally added a beer and wine license to my mental to do list. If I was able to do what I wanted, then I definitely needed to be able to serve wine. I'd already made tentative plans to import my favorite wines from the winery that Cam and I had taken that wine sommelier course at.
That memory was firmly in my mind and made the choice for me. I reached for the wine that I'd brought back with me from that winery and uncorked it. I breathed the scent in and closed my eyes, almost as if I could feel the warm sun on my face from that day. I sighed softly as the back door opened and I set the wine on the island and reached for a wine glass. "Join me for some wine, Owen?" I asked, turning to look at him over my shoulder. "It's excellent. You'll love it." I really didn't wait for him to answer but grabbed another wine glass and set them both down next to the bottle. He didn't say anything but inclined his head slightly in agreement and I headed to the fridge, digging in it for a moment before I unearthed a few cheeses and a granny smith apple. I set them on the counter as well and went to find the crackers and the last half of the French baguette that I'd made the day before. I assembled everything, cutting the apple and setting it next to the wedge of brie. I cut a few of the other assorted odds and ends into slices, I was looking forward to the stilton with the wine. It was going to be yummy. I positioned the plate, well, platter between the two chairs I expected us to occupy and made quick work of slicing the bread and adding the butter dish next to it. I poured him a taster splash of wine and waited while he confirmed my initial analysis of it.
"That is wonderful." He said, setting the glass down and allowing me to pour him a larger glass before I poured my own.
"I know." I smiled. "I picked it out myself." I set the bottle within reach and came around the island before I settled in the chair opposite him. We rather decidedly ignored the issue at hand and instead sat in companionable silence, sipping wine and noshing on cheese and crackers. My favorite bite was the stilton, on top of baguette with butter and a thin slice of apple. Paired with the wine, it was magnificent.
"How are you feeling, Jessica?' He asked softly, setting his wine glass down.
I sighed softly and took a long drink, finishing my glass of wine. "God, I've been so stupid." I rubbed my hands over my eyes and gave him a sideways glance. "I've ruined everything."
He quirked an eyebrow at me and reached for the bottle, waiting for my nod before he poured more wine into my glass.
"They've all vowed to fight for me, you know?" I took my glass and swirled it, watching the wine as it moved before I took a sip. "Well, not Cam and probably the rest except Zack. He broke up with me but all the rest of them are ready to kick his ass and fight each other to be with me, I'm sure." I took another long sip of my wine before setting it down and rubbing my hand over my face again.
Owen nodded slightly before deciding to break his silence. We were halfway through the wine and he finally had something worth mentioning. "And what about you, Jess?"
I frowned. "What about me?"
"How do you feel about them?" His eyes were serious as he regarded me over the top of his glass, taking a sip.
"I love them all." I blurted, feeling my cheeks flush with a sudden rush of color. "I can't stand the thought of them fighting and maybe leaving over it. I can't choose. I ..." I blinked at him and my eyes widened. "I shouldn't have to."
His lips quirked up in a millimeter smile. "Bingo." He said, pushing his glasses up with one finger. "You shouldn't have to. And neither should they." He said.
"But how do I see how they feel about that? You guys had it mostly figured out before Sang landed in the middle of it all." I said, pushing my wine glass away. If I drank more, it would lead to sad thoughts.
Thoughts that would send me straight over the edge and send me looking for Cam.
He chuckled. "You're right. By the time we really got down to it, only your brother hadn't been looped in on the plan and Sang desperately needed to do something big to make sure the Academy didn't send her away from us." He set his own glass down. "You're in a unique situation, Jessica. So are they. None of you knew that you were dating an entire team, one at a time. None of us knew either and you did find Cam and Sam on their own. Well, those two are probably the only ones that knew the full situation."
"Cam." I said. "He'd be the only one that knew about Sam. He let Sam think we were just roommates." I said with a wry smile. "Although if Sam read enough into it, he probably figured out that it was more beneficial than just roommates. We were everything for each other after the first six months of living together."
He chuckled. "Point is, you have the history, you have the knowledge. You know Zack had no problem learning about our situation." I nodded. "I think what you also need to know is that they've each chosen to come to someone to talk about it."
My head jerked up and I stared at him. "They... they did what?"
"My afternoon was spent in the company of many people. People who had spent the morning with your boys." He said, locking his gaze on mine.
"Oh." I blinked and looked down at the counter, rubbing at a smudge with my finger. "Who...who did you talk to?"
"Well... I had a long meeting with Raven, who was anxious to speak to you himself, but wasn't quite sure how to bring it up. Zack sought him out and they discussed this situation at length." I blinked but nodded. The fact that Raven spoke to him was big, then again, Raven hooked us back up together. "Then I spoke to North, who had spoken with Tony this morning. I talked to Kota, who'd spent a long time with Pete and I spoke to Sean who had just come from a meeting with Josh."
"Over coffee and doughnuts." I said, remembering our breakfast dates fondly. They were practically the only time we spent together that wasn't online.
"Yes." He smiled. "Gabriel managed to run into Cam this morning and Victor had coffee with Sam as he was at the diner when Sam showed up asking to speak to Luke. Zack sent him over there because he knew that talking to Luke would answer some questions that Sam had.." He said. "So, you tell me, Jess... what do you think your boys have been doing?"
"Figuring out the best way to fight it out for me?" I scowled.
"Don't be hasty." He chuckled and reached out to raise my chin with his fingers. "I've known you a long time, Jessica Lee. You're smarter than you let on. I feel responsible for that. You have a choice. You have a say and you have a voice. Don't be afraid to use it. The choice is yours and my general feeling from all those meetings today is that they just don't want to scare you off by bringing up the idea themselves."
My brow furrowed as I processed what he said. "So, do you think that I should take Luke and Sang's advice?" I asked, pulling back and settling back in my chair. "Invite them for a family game night and somewhere in the middle of it make them play a version of newlywed game and test their knowledge of me?"
He smiled slowly. "I think it sounds like a fun evening and we all want to be there." He said, leaning forward and kissing my forehead. "Think about what you really want. You just said you love them all and you shouldn't have to choose. Call Raven. Talk to Luke and Sang some more." He suggested. "You told me that you loved all of them before I even said a word. Trust yourself."
I nodded as he slipped off his chair and headed out the door as quietly as he'd come in. I decided to throw caution to the wind and topped off my wine. I spent a few moments cleaning up the kitchen before retreating outside to settle in the hammock and watch the stars while I finished my wine.
I deserved a little wallowing time in my thoughts about the boys.
By Thursday night, I still hadn't heard from any of them.
The ones I dated.
Cam, I'd been in touch with all day as I waited out my self-imposed waiting period. He had lots of cute Eiffel pictures to send me.
Apparently she'd moved on from condom destruction to stealing Pete's goldfish crackers out of the pantry and eating them.
I'd laughed so hard, that I cried over it.
I finally sent him a text after I was again hanging out in my hammock. ~You still up? I want to talk... call me. ~
I never even put my phone down before it was ringing. "Hello?"
"Mon Ami, I'm so sorry!"
I chuckled. "I know. And I forgive you. I told you that yesterday."
"I know. I just had to say it. How are you? Do you have time to get some furbaby snuggles in at some point?" he asked.
"Probably Sunday." I said. "But I'll have to check on that. I have an insane amount of things to do this weekend and I think I actually volunteered to babysit my niece on my day off." I laughed.
He huffed a sigh and I could just picture him pouting about it. "Well that's no good." He grumbled.
"You could stop by my bakery." I reminded him. "Bring her along and I could take time to visit and cuddle her up in my apartment that I haven't moved into yet. I don't think I want to bring her here. My cat's still not happy about the fact I went to Paris. He's constantly grumpy with me."
"I bet that's what it is." He agreed. "So what's up?"
I was wondering if ya'll had plans for Saturday afternoon and evening. I know I'm only giving you a couple days notice but I..." I sighed. "I was waiting to see if anyone reached out besides you and I'm feeling a little let down about it, Cam. You're the only one I've talked to."
"Ah... yeah, sorry." His voice was strained as if he was biting his lip or clenching his jaw.
"What?"
"They don't have your number." He exhaled. "Zack has it and I have it but personally, I kept forgetting to ask if it was okay to give your number to them and Zack's been steadfastly holding to the fact that it would be rude of him to hand over your number."
"But he hasn't reached out either." I scowled. "I don't care if either of you give them my damn number. But one of you should have told me that they didn't have it."
"I'll accept that." He said. "And as I check our joint calendar, none of us have anything on Saturday so I'll accept your invitation. What's going on?"
I could hear him typing as we talked. "I wanted to extend an invitation to family game night. My family, my bestie's family and you guys. We'll play card games and board games and there'll be food the entire time because it's at the diner my family owns."
"The diner, hmm?" He mused. "Wait... is this the diner that Zack was going to all the time five years ago?"
I laughed. "Yes. I suppose he did spend the better part of two months at the diner, didn't he?"
"Sure did. Never brought us food but sometimes mumbled things about the cute hostess that had just started working at the diner." He teased.
"Whatever." I laughed. "So y'all will come?"
"Yes, can we bring anything?"
"Just yourselves. And maybe a couple bottles of wine if you have any French wine you can stand giving up for the sake of navigating a huge family gathering."
"Just out of curiosity... huge family gathering. Is that a huge Academy gathering?" he asked.
"Outside of me, my mom and a couple significant others within my bestie's family, yes. It's definitely an Academy family gathering. We're very Academy aware around here." I explained.
"Then yes, I have plenty of wine and appropriate drinks to bring along. Should I bring that Cards against Panem game that you gave me for Christmas?" He teased. I'd given him the game as a joke so that he'd miss me after I went home.
I mean, I'd bought it in the first place with the intent that we'd be playing it all the time the last week I was in Paris. Except I left Paris so early.
"Yes please. I really want to play it." I said, laughing. "Okay, I'll text you the address although if you just tell Zack where it is, he'll get you there if you come together."
"We rarely go in one car. There's too many of us and not enough leg room." He said. "We'll be in at least two cars, will there be enough parking?"
"Absolutely." I said. "I'll see you Saturday at three, okay?"
"Can't wait, Mon Ami. I absolutely can't wait." He murmured before we spent a few moments laughing about Eiffel before we said good night and hung up.
Operation Newlywed Game was underway.
"Shit..." My eyes blinked open and I stared up at the moon. "Where the hell are we getting questions for that from?"