Max POV
We are all sitting together at the big dining table in the wonderful little canteen in our studio.
The food was excellent.
Always fresh and delicious.
And of course catering to all the various diets of our prescribed body measurements.
The crew is in a good mood and P'Aof is at full speed.
He tells us about interviews, press releases and special requests.
It's precisely because we work so intensely and closely together that he's such an important authority on all of us.
A dad.
An uncle.
A friend.
Someone you can trust and who shows you the right way.
And his raunchy jokes in between always make us laugh.
I'm at a table with people I have locked tightly in my heart.
A family.
And as is well known, families are not always good to each other.
I look over at Zee, who, since we sat down, just stares at Nat.
I can't help it.
It bugs me the way he looks at him.
He seems to want something from him.
Of course, I don't have to worry about it.
But I still don't like it.
Especially since I found out yesterday that my best friend apparently knew about Ohm and didn't think for a moment to let me know.
Friendship looks different.
I would not have expected that from him.
And the disappointment I can only accept relaxed, because this petite-sweet Nong here next to me, reserved my entire body, my soul, my heart, my life fully only for himself.
I belong to him.
How good that feels, to just let it happen.
I am so relieved to finally admit it to myself.
And the flashing images in my head remind me every second of completely different moments of relief.
It makes me laugh.
And Nat turns to me.
With an adorable smile, he comes closer to me and whispers:
"Your laughter is doing something to me! You better not do that! I won't be able to keep it together!"
And he very gently takes my earlobe between his lips.
And the tip of his tongue allows itself a brief moment.
I feel myself flaring up and choking on the morsel in my mouth.
And Nat pats me on the back and nods kindly.
That Nong.
My astonished eyes quickly search for a way out.
If I keep staring at him now, I will hear the consequences immediately in my thoroughly worn out crotch.
I'd rather not.
My God!
My hips really hurt.
I never thought my body could need regeneration from such love.
Never.
Never.
No woman let me snack hungrily all night long.
And this hunger doesn't even seem to be satisfied.
Quite the opposite.
The more times Nat made me escalate, the hungrier I became.
Even though we are still completely at the beginning of our sexuality.
Not even beginning to engage in practices that are arguably even more pleasure.
Nat's effect on me is so intangible.
As if our bodies have been united for quite some time.
And love is dragging us into its insane abyss of desire.
I shake my head and catch Zee again, trying to catch Nat's gaze.
Nat is happily chatting and doesn't notice Zee's pleading look.
And suddenly I see NuNews face, pressing in on my gaze to Zee.
He's trying to tell me something with his eyes.
He wants me to stop staring at his Zee.
I guess he doesn't like the look I'm giving him.
He rests his head on Zee's shoulder and raises an eyebrow.
I smirk.
Your Zee has started.
And at that moment it happens.
Zee briefly strokes NuNews' cheek and whispers something to him.
"Nat!" he suddenly calls across the table, "Can you come with me for a minute, please? I wanted to show you something."
And I feel a bolt of ice hit me.
Cold.
Everything icy inside me.
I look at Nat.
He seems completely undisturbed.
Nods and stands up.
And just then, when I just can't keep my protest to myself, Nat grabs my wrist and pulls me up.
Without words.
He just takes me with him.
My heart melts.
Nat.
What are you doing to me?
I am so moved that I have to swallow this inexplicable lump in my throat.
And only now do I see Zee's irritated look.
He catches himself quickly and smiles.
I earn a wink from him and the three of us walk out of the cafeteria.
Undisturbed, Zee gets to see Nat snuggle up to me and say his words to him:
"There's nothing Max can't overhear!"
And he kisses my chest before turning to Zee.
Zee looks at me with relief and gives us both a touched smile.
There are so many different emotions flowing inside of me that I can barely stay on my feet.
I hug Nat from behind and rest my chin on his head.
His scent and closeness give me peace.
"Nat, here's your cell phone. We turned it off after I talked to Ohm," Zee speaks that name and gives me a desperate look.
You feel it yourself, my friend!
"Max, I'm sorry I didn't say anything. But NuNew told me not to, and I also thought it was important for Nat to talk to you himself," he explains himself, waiting for my reaction.
I look at him urgently.
"Keep talking!", I ask him.
He nods.
"Ohm was very insistent on the phone. He thought it was suspicious that you weren't there. I had to explain to him several times that you were busy. I'm sure he'll have sent you other messages. You should check in with him!" reports Zee.
And I'm boiling over.
I can't put this away easily.
Anger injects its venom into my veins and I clench my fists.
And Nat reaches for those very ones.
He brings them to his mouth and kisses the white, protruding knuckles.
"Thanks, Zee. I'll take care of it!" he stumbles briefly, "Max and I will take care of it," he corrects himself.
Zee's gaze searches mine.
And when he finally gets it, he intervenes.
"Nat, will you leave me alone with Max for a minute?" he asks Nat.
Nat reluctantly lets go of my big fists.
Before he does, he kisses them both again.
Don't be cute, Nat!
Not now.
And also when I feel exactly that he is looking for my gaze again before he pulls away.
Even as he turns and looks up at me, waiting.
I can't look him in the eye now.
Ohm is mentally standing in front of me and I'm not looking for tenderness right now.
Nat finally gives up and walks out of the room with his phone in his hand.
Zee and me.
Two brothers for years.
"How are you, my friend?" he actually asks me.
"Are you serious?", I ask back.
"Max, what's going on with you guys? Nat confessed his love to you?", Zee stuns me.
"Excuse me? So you knew he had feelings for me?", I can't believe it.
I thought he was just keeping things from me about Ohm, but this is so much worse.
"Max, you're my best friend. And I really think a lot of you. But I'm afraid you're also an idiot!" he begins, giving me an angry look, "Yes, I was allowed to stand by Nat on numerous evenings. He was sad for you quite often, my friend! There were many tears and hopeless moments.
Yes, I've known for a long time that he's fallen in love with you!" his firm voice rings out.
And my anger shows a sad veil.
My heart.
He was shedding tears.
Because of me.
But Zee doesn't give me a chance to react.
"You always treated him well! You did well in your role as Pi, as big brother. Your shipped role, too. Very good, Max! He had no choice at all not to lose himself even more in this hopeless love!" he goes one better, hitting me right in the heart.
I didn't mean to do that.
I would never consciously hurt Nat.
And my anguish is clearly seen by Zee.
"Max, you didn't do anything wrong. That's what happens in this business. Couples fall in love with each other, too. It happens, my friend! Nat took it hard. He suffered a lot. And that's why he did that shit with Ohm!", Zee tries to calm me down.
And that name gets me upset again.
"I had no idea!", I quake, "I didn't have the chance to stop him. You should have told me about his feelings. Never would I have let this, this," I really can't hold myself together.
I want to get my hands on him so badly.
This, this guy.
And my chest immediately levers the acceleration due to gravity.
I burst and tear him apart in the air.
And only Zee's laughter brings me back.
"So you've finally admitted your feelings for Nat?", Zee hits the nail on the head.
And everything about me softens.
My feelings for Nat.
Those feelings I've been suppressing for so long.
Not believing them to be true.
Finding ways out.
And yet he's so young.
Damn, he's so young.
That's the worst of it.
My morals are killing me.
Destroys me.
How can I love this young nong?
How can I be so attracted to him.
I can't.
And every touch is put away as platonic and brotherly.
"Max!", Zee snaps me out of my desperate thoughts again, "Did you finally tell him that you love him too?" he sees the answer right in my eyes, "It was so hard for me to watch you two fight this battle. But only you two can fight this one out and decide!" he tells me, "I know how you feel. The delicate line between human and outrageous is so fragile. But Nat is no longer a teenybopper. You've grown together. Just look at him. He's young, but he's grown. And your love is neither immoral nor unexpected.
It's beautiful and it's making the world scream.
It's obvious!
It's really about time you opened your eyes," his words flow coolly over the burning places of my conscience.
Thank you, my friend.
"I love him!", I confess sheepishly.
Zee grins joyfully.
"I thank you for taking care of him. But you might as well have punched that Ohm in the face!", I add.
And Zee raises his eyebrows.
"I sure didn't. The boy is correct. And, if Nat is going to escape from the clutches of my best friend, I have to give him the opportunity. He deserves to be happy too!" he blows me away.
"Excuse me?", I'm outraged.
"Max, sometimes you just understand too late. And with you, it was just before Gong, my friend. Nat was a mess and Ohm distracted him!", Zee sees the escalation in my eyes and immediately intervenes, "Don't worry, NuNew was there after all. He didn't let Nat out of his sight and contacted me immediately when things got dicey. Nothing happened, Max! Calm down!"
"I want to know how you would react if NuNew was flirting, boozing, and eventually trading numbers with another guy!" it shoots out of me.
"That couldn't have happened to me! NuNew and I have been completely open with our feelings from the beginning. We discussed every closeness and every emotional impact. But that's because I know exactly what that does to you when you have a shipped partner.
Intimate scenes.
Flirting in front of the camera.
It does something to you!
When it just happens.
When it just happens, Max!
You have to talk about it.
See what's there.
Whether you're just so caught up in the role or whether you've really fallen in love with the person.
NuNew and I know that we have feelings for each other.
We deal with it openly and see what becomes of it.
That's why we're not as possessive as you two.
With you two, a volcano exploded.
There's a lot of devastation before the fertile soil can bear sweet fruit," my friend enthuses me.
He is so wise.
And I suddenly have to grin.
Sweet fruit we already harvested last night.
"What are you grinning at?", Zee catches me.
"Oh, you're right! Our volcano has exploded. Devastation. That knocked me out pretty good!", I retort, "But I already know that the fruit that grows from it tastes especially sweet!", I can't help myself.
I must be allowed to show off a little.
Zee's eyes widen.
"Did you?" he grabs me excitedly by the shoulders, "Did you?" he repeats, shaking me barely noticeably.
"Yes, I mean no, well, yes, but also not! So not like that! I mean, of course I do, but not quite," I suddenly stammer, regretting my statement.
Zee taps me against the forehead.
"Max, how old are you? Come on! Tell your friend some details. I'm there. And I can share my experiences with you," he tries to get me to spill the beans.
I pat him on the shoulder, "A gentleman enjoys and keeps quiet!" and I slowly walk towards the door.
"Max, you have no experience with this particular form of sexuality. You've only had women!" he calls after me, "You have to be careful there! Are you such a prude that you don't want to talk to your best friend?"
And I stop.
Zee can really get on my nerves.
Especially because he's so often right.
"I'll get back to you on that! For now, let me enjoy my admission!", I end the conversation and make my way to my cute nong.
This cute guy who makes my head spin.
And I startle up when suddenly someone jumps on me from behind.
"Well, there you are finally! What have you been talking about for so long?", Nat hugs me from behind in a piggyback, "Please go to the dressing room here on the right!", he wants to direct me like a horse with his hand.
I laugh.
"Why? Nat, you can't do that here!", I grumble and get caught by Nat's punch to my arm.
"What do you think again?" he chuckles in my ear, "Haven't you had enough yet?" he murmurs, "I just want to get something done and I want my Pi with me!" he sounds extra cute.
And I'm just a little ashamed of my thoughts.
And, of course, follow the instructions of my sweet demise.
Nat jumps off me, closes the door, pulls me over to the chair next to the dressing table, pushes me down and sits on my lap.
He takes my face in his hands and makes my heart gallop.
That look.
"Max, I'm so sorry I put you through this with Ohm. And I want you to be there when I call him now. Are you okay with that?", I hear my blood rush through my veins.
He sees my struggle and pulls me into a kiss.
A tender kiss meant to soothe me.
A light nibble on my lips.
A loving taste with his sweet tongue.
A sucking.
He kisses me free of any care.
Nat kisses me.
And his love flows into me.
Until all the raving in me is taken.
In his kiss I want to be safe forever.
"You listen and keep quiet. Let me do it!" he finally whispers to me, picks up his cell phone and dials the number I despise.
And the loud beeping resounds in the room.
"Nat, finally! Glad to hear from you!" my stomach clenches.
"Hi, Ohm! I'm glad to finally talk to you too!", I clutch the arms of the chair, "I really need to make something clear!", I peep out, "Ohm, I'm really sorry, but after this phone call, I'm going to delete your number. And I want you to do the same!", my grip slowly relaxes.
"Nat, you sound so serious. We did have a nice evening," the bastard blurts out.
"I wasn't honest, Ohm! Not honest with me and not honest with you!" declares Nat and I bite my lips, "I wasn't myself that night. And you became a distraction. My heart is forgiven, Ohm!", Nat confesses and I'm feverish inside.
You hear him, you bastard!
Nat's heart is mine!
"A distraction, then!" laughs Ohm, "I'll be happy to be a distraction for you!" he makes me race, "If you need a distraction, your heart sure doesn't seem to be doing well in the place it's in. Your heart is worthy of being carried on hands! You're worth it, Nat!", I squint my eyes and have to force myself not to yell out.
Nat is silent for too long for me and I finally open my eyes to catch him thinking.
And I catch him.
I see him looking at me with tears in his eyes.
"Ohm, my heart is in the best hands. I just had to finally admit my love. I needed to show my love. And I have. I'm the luckiest man in the world!" he declares in a shaky voice.
"So you have a boyfriend now?" asks Ohm dryly.
"I guess I'll still have to ask him if he wants to be my boyfriend. But he finally knows that I love him," Nat looks at me with shy eyes.
Oh my god!
I'm dying.
"I wish you all the best, Ohm!" is the last thing this guy gets to hear from my Nat before he hangs up and deletes his number in front of me.
And I'm so touched that I'm afraid I won't be able to find the words.
But this time I can count on myself.
"Nat!", I search his gaze, "I know it took me way too long to admit to myself that I love you. I hope you can forgive me the pain I've caused you. I love you!
I love you, Nat!
Will you be my boyfriend?"
And Nat's giggle leads into another kiss, which he gives me.
A kiss from Nat.
Nothing more do I need.
An admission and that kiss.