A/N: yes this is sad I was in a sad mood and I know there will be spelling mistakes I just needed to type and put something out there.
I don't expect anyone to read this or even answer it but I thought I would put it out there to let others know there not alone in feeling this way. Sorry if you think it's shitty just had to put it up.
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It sucks to lose some one you love but even more so when it's your soulmate. It's just as hard to lose as it is to find, but I did and then it all changed.
Let me explain what a soulmate means. At least the way I understand it. It's being able to say anything you want with out fear of scaring them away or being judged. It's being comfortable with silence and not needing to fill it with words. It's being able to feel the significant others emotions more then see them. It's knowing that no madder what you do they will always love you even if your wrong or changing. It's being able to argue about the silliest thing and laughing at yourselves because you know your both right. It's about forgiving each other for there mistakes and moving on together.
I once had this. It meant the world to me and if I could I would trade my life to make his better. Even though he hurt me and treated me like I meant nothing I still love him and I wish he would come back to me.
He meant everything to me and the day his uncle died he changed and I lost him. If I could I would make a deal with the devil to change what happened. Just to see his true smile again.
My hear aches to be with him again. It's like being addicted to drugs but much more painful to lose. I wish I could fix what went wrong I wish I could hit restart and try again but I can't so I'll say this instead.
The boy you see there isn't the man he once was. He once cared about himself and others and would do anything to help a friend or his family. No the boy standing there is nothing but a shell holding back the person beneath a person who loves and cares. He can't get through because of his own pain and though I tried to help him he just dragged me down. I miss the man I once knew he still has my heart and if one day he dose shed that shell of his I hope he finds me.
My heart misses him more then he knows right now. If I could I would lose everything just for him.