"EARTH TO SEOLLAL," a voice buzzed in her ear. "Earth to Seollal. Seollal ah! Eodiya?"
(Where are you?)
She looked up from her bowl of beef bone soup, the milky depths mirroring her clouded thoughts. She had asked Yu Ah out for dinner and after a bout of browsing through cosmetics and facial products in Myeongdong, they had stumbled into a diner with booth seats and glass panels that accorded them privacy.
"Am I a fool?" she muttered with a sigh as she planted her chin in a hand.
"Yes," Yu Ah blurted immediately.
She narrowed her gaze at her friend before returning to stir morosely at her seolleongtang. She had believed a day of endless walking would relieve the pent up energy and tension
"I flared up at him," she admitted, her gaze on her soup.
She seemed to have some knack in making things worse between them. Hadn't she wanted to make things normal between them again?
"Who?" Then with a gasp, she raised a finger in the air. "Your Kazu?"
"He's not mine!" she grumbled.
Why had she said what she did earlier? Why had she run away again? She knew she had been more than rude. We aren't that close? Who says that sort of thing?
Her friend raised a brow as she mirrored her posture, supporting her chin in the palm of her hand.
"What do you want to do about it?"
"I don't know." She gave her bowl a stab. "I should apologise, shouldn't I? But what do I say? He's seeing someone else. If I tell him – "
If I tell him I like him, what is he going to think? And why am I so angry anyway?
"You're jealous," she pointed out as she jabbed her chopsticks in the air.
"I'm not jealous!" she exclaimed.
Soup dripped from the end of her friend's utensils. Seollal pushed her hand aside with a mock grimace.
"Yes, you are. Why else would you still be moping?"
She let out a long sigh, casting her gaze aside.
"There's nothing to be jealous about. Maybe I just gave it too much thought."
~
"HYUNG, YOU KNOW the girl who was here the other day?"
He raised his head, casting the man a spare glance. Dong Woon had an elbow propped on the counter as he leaned over, the thick locks of his fringe falling over his forehead.
He had seated himself at Seollal's table the other day and Kazu was sure he had meant her. Then again, all sorts of girls came into Home. But if he thought he could delude himself into thinking that Dong Woon had meant someone else, then he thought wrong.
"What about it?" he muttered distractedly.
He pressed the tamp into the well of ground coffee, his mouth pursed. There weren't many customers at this hour; there was a couple at the windowseat taking pictures and a group of highschool students at the living room setting.
"The one sitting alone at the table there?"
Dong Woon jerked his chin to Seollal's table. It was empty now, as it usually was on a weekday afternoon. In fact, this wasn't Dong Woon's usual hour either. He was a regular at Home, and like Seollal, was one of the few who conversed easily with the staff like friends did. He had dropped by, as he claimed, for a mid-day 'perk me up' - that included some persistent questioning.
His hand stilled. He gave the puck of coffee another tamp and a quick twist before slotting it into the group head. With a flick of a switch, followed by a low groaning and a hiss, espresso spewed out into a waiting shot glass. He had schooled his features into one of easy nonchalance, but already, irritation worked on his lips. His gaze remained fixed on the stream of espresso flowing out, as if considering some mystery.
"Does she come here often?" Dong Woon went on, his brows rising inquisitively.
Kazu filled a paper cup with hot water before tipping in the shot of espresso.
"You've got to be more specific," he said, just managing to keep his voice light.
"She's called Jeon Seollal," Dong Woon added in exasperation. "Don't you know all your customer's names?"
That wasn't quite true, although he did know the names of his regulars. He snapped on a plastic lid before slotting the cup into a cardboard holder. Dong Woon hadn't moved to collect his order. In fact, his fingers began tapping a nervous rhythm on the counter.
"She had her laptop out, and she was sitting alone. You saw me with her," he went on, his tone urging him to remember. "You even brought my order to the table!"
"Ah, I see," Kazu muttered stiltedly as he slid the cup before Dong Woon.
A sickening pulse was just starting to pick up in his chest.
"She comes here often, doesn't she?" he went on. His words rushed from his mouth like an excited gurgle of a stream as the sides of his eyes crinkled with a grin. "It seems like she does."
He let out a noncommittal grunt. Questions sparked in his head. But it was a losing battle between assuaging his curiosity and maintaining an uncaring facade. How had they met, for instance? Seollal was a kindergarten teacher while Dong Woon was some sort of Marketing Executive. Seollal had studied in a university in England while Dong Woon had graduated from Sungkyunkwan, one of Korea's top universities. Seollal didn't come from Seoul while Dong Woon was a native. There seemed to be few things, if not nothing that connected them.
"How did the two of you meet?" he asked finally, hoping he didn't sound too inquisitive.
"A group date," Dong Woon said easily. Then he made a face. "I don't know if she's interested in me though. I asked the moderator for her number, but the moderator said she didn't want to give it out."
Kazu could not deny the burst of amusement in his chest. He released the portafilter from the group head, then tipped the used coffee puck into a bin.
"What do you think?" his friend went on. "Maybe I should come by more often, bump into her, would it be more natural then?"
Sometimes he wondered at the irony of people asking him for advice on their relationships when he could barely figure out the rut he was in now.
"Dong Woon ah, if you want to come by more often, that's up to you. But don't push it. If she doesn't want to give out her number, then give her some space. Things like these take time." He wiped the basket with a cloth. "It's a relationship. Relationships need two people to meet in the middle for it to work."
He could almost imagine the twist of impatience on Dong Woon's mouth when his eyes crinkled in exasperation.
"Hyung!" he grumbled. "What if she changes her mind when I'm more sincere?"
"In that case, you can show your sincerity when she's actually here," he said, his tone wry.
Dong Woon's groan filled the air as he turned to leave the shop.
He turned over his shoulder to see Jieun stepping out of the kitchen with slow, deliberate steps. Her brows were raised as she appraised the man just leaving the shop.
"Seems like you've got to move faster, sajangnim," she quipped when the door had swung shut behind Dong Woon.
"What?" he blurted automatically.
"So that's the man with unnie the other day? Why didn't you tell him to stay away?"
His brows shot up.
"Why should I ask him to stay away?"
"Well - " The girl stopped short, then shrugged her shoulders. "I mean, you don't want him coming between the two of you, do you?"
A short laugh left him as he shook his head.
"What I have with Seollal is between us," he said slowly. "It doesn't involve anyone else."
It seemed she had wanted to draw some sort of line between them, with what she had said the other day. He had thought they were getting closer - finally! - but she had been avoiding him for some reason ever since that day at the school and he didn't know how to ask her why.
Is this it?
Does it end like this?
"The two of them will look good together," she muttered wistfully. "But I still think unnie likes you better."
He didn't know. After the day he had chased after her, he didn't know what to think.
There was no way he would let it end like that between them. He could be persistent too. But how? Show up at her school?
She wouldn't like that, and it would be an invasion of her privacy.
His heart thudded painfully as he let out a sigh before he could catch himself.
So, how?
He didn't think she would show up anytime soon.
Dong Woon and Seollal?
His chest twisted at the thought. In his mind's eye, he saw Seollal laughing, Dong Woon by her side. With a low exhale, he viciously pushed that image aside. When he could breath again, he headed for the kitchen where timer of the oven had rang. Tart crusts sat on a shelf
He had made a promise with himself, a promise that Home would succeed. He didn't need a distraction, he didn't need his heart twisted by Jeon Seollal, he didn't need his thoughts occupied by her day and night.
Let it go, he told himself. Let her go.
He let out a hiss as the heat of the pan seared his skin. An audible grumble left him at his own foolishness as he only just realised he had lifted the hot pan without a mitten. He stared dismally at the blisters on his fingers - the larger one on his thumb had popped - but the smaller ones on his fingers were red and bright and angry.
Just then, Jieun dashed into the kitchen with an exclaim.
"What's going on?" she asked, her eyes wide, before she noticed the hand awkwardly held out.
They stared hopelessly at each other.
Kazu moved first, jerking his chin at the locker room.
"I'll get the first aid kit."
Jieun waved a mitten.
"I'll get the tart crusts."
Kazu perched on a stool, cleaning his wound at one corner of the work table, trying not to cry out at the pain, while Jieun worked at the other end. The buttery aroma of tart crusts permeated the air around them. Hot air belted continuously from the oven as a fan whirred.
He held his breath to control the sting of pain on his fingers as he dabbed it with antiseptic before sticking plasters over his blisters. What a fool, he thought.
"Well?" Jieun asked. "Are you alright? How are you going to make coffee with your fingers like that?"
He shrugged his shoulders. What a silly mistake he had made, and with his dominant hand too. He turned his hand around helplessly, one side of his mouth twisting at the sight of his hand.
"You should take tomorrow off," Jieun suggested. "Thursday's are slow days."
Jieun had poured him a mug of water. He tossed his mask aside, then took a long, satisfying gulp.
We aren't that close.
He clattered abruptly to his feet.
Jieun glanced up.
"Sajangnim, you aren't wearing your - "
Outside the back door, he stood with his hands planted on his hips, his face turned up to the blue skies and the white clouds. Grey clouds tinged the periphery, but they were chased off slowly by the strong winds, gliding silently across the sky.
He sucked in a bout of air before letting out a slow breath.
He knew he would regret this. He would regret if he never tried.
It was only belatedly he realised a few dirty looks were thrown his way. Kazu swallowed, his brow crinkled in confusion. His face was too cool. He could breathe too easily. He could lick his lips without the scratch of cotton on his tongue.
Sheepishly, he ducked into the kitchen.
"I forgot to wear my mask," he muttered.
Jieun shot him a look.
"I was trying to tell you that."
~
A / N
My poor Kazu baby. Remember to comment and vote!