Reviewed by: luminology
Book Title: Children of the Dark Dwelling
Author's Name: miellealani
Title: 8/10
Your title conveys an ominous tone, which I think is perfect for the type of story you have. However, there isn't much of a correlation between the story and the title yet.
Blurb/Description:10 /10
I really liked the description. The way you revealed some aspects of the story without adding too much evoked a really mysterious intrigue about the story.
Creativity and originality: 10/10
Your story was really unique and creepy. The way you portrayed everything gave me chills...It was that scary. The entire plot is also something I haven't really seen before and all of the creatures in the strange place the narrator is in are all so interesting and unique.
Plot and Flow: 18/20
At first, I found the beginning (especially the first chapter) to be a bit boring and confusing. Just like the main character, I didn't know what was going on, but later on, I found it to be much less confusing and started getting into the storyline a bit more. Your storyline is moving at a steady pace, but many of the questions that I had at the beginning of the story are still there, and if anything, I am left with more questions. This isn't a bad thing, but sometimes I feel like your reader could get a bit confused with everything that's going on since there are more questions that are piling on. Another thing is that the chapters that take place in the present feel very dragged out and not as eventful as the chapters that take place in the past.
Character Development: 8/10
There hasn't been much development with the three characters that you established, but I loved the slow development that you have been doing with the narrator "Now" is very interesting and how she is starting to trust people less and less. I'm excited to see how that goes.
Writing style, Grammar, spellings, etc.: 19 /20
I really enjoyed your writing style! It was so chilling and creepy. I was reading the scene with the old house super late at night and it scared me so much. I couldn't sleep for another hour after that! The way you described everything in so much detail, especially the way you portrayed fear definitely played into the creepy and dark aspect of the story. Sometimes I found it hard to understand what you were saying because your sentences were so long (something that I struggle with too lol). Tip: Use commas in certain places and remember that it's always okay to split sentences up.
Genre relevance: 10/10
This is definitely a mystery/thriller. Your entire writing style definitely showed this with the way you described so many elements of a typical thriller. Ngl, I definitely got scared of all of the different supernatural creatures that the narrator encounters, and I was even more scared of the creepy old house. Your writing wonderfully conveyed the genre and if anything, made it a much better read!
Overall: 83/100
Your story was really interesting. To me, it checked all the boxes. It was well written, had an interesting story, and good characters. While there were a few minor details that I found unappealing, your story was so fun to read, despite my heart beating like crazy out of fear. Despite the beginning of the story being a bit draggy, there weren't any other major things that I didn't like. There isn't anything bad about your characters, but there isn't anything interesting about them either. While it's still early in your story, I don't really see them change in any way either.
Tips – These are just friendly suggestions from one writer to another ~
While I understand that this is a plot-driven story, making it more focused on the plot, I think it's also important to focus on the characters as well. You don't have to focus too much but you could do some slow/passive character development. Something subtle so that your characters are more dynamic.