Kaidon
"...and Little Mermaid, you will not engage in a fight. Your job is simply to assist with your powers."
We were working on a large-scale operation with the police this time. We were scattered around the docks, waiting for the shipment to arrive. Our CIs informed us that an enormous deal was taking place tonight, and it was our chance to take down the top heads of the biggest drug cartel in the city. If successful, we would get enough information to take down the entire organisation in a couple of days.
It would be a massive win for the government. The current mayor wanted to run for the office for a second term, and this would prove to be a decent notch on his belt of achievements.
They think they'd bring down the crime rate with this. In the short run, yes, but sooner or later, they'll be replaced by a different group. As long as the demand is there in the market, there will always be someone willing to supply.
We never actively pursued the demolishing of these cartels either. They gave us business. A doctor may pray for your recovery, but they also hope you return to them soon enough. That's what keeps them afloat. Why would we want to get rid of the root of the problem either?
It was this ideology of The Order that was hammered into the blood of every agent. We never recruited heroes. We only wanted skills and rational thought. We wanted people who would know where the limit is, who would want to live and come back and not give up their lives for a lost world—a world which was already beyond saving.
"For the last time, Black Wolf, my name is Crimson Rose!" Her voice screeched through my earpiece, making me go deaf for a moment. If you don't stop calling me that, I will spread the word that your new name is Little Banana!"
And then there was this stupid girl who believed every person was inherently good and deserved a second chance. She was hesitant to kill, but for some reason, I was willing to help her maintain her resolve.
I rolled my eyes at her statement while the entire team burst out laughing on the comms, the loudest being Seydon.
"I can't- my God, are you serious?" He managed to breathe out through his fit of hysterical laughter. "I mean, I did once get to see him naked when we were changing in the locker room, but I never saw the size. Damn, Black-"
"Shut the hell up, Silver Hawk or your name will be in the list of casualties on the side of The Order." I barked out, my eyes riveted on the group of people that patrolled around the docks. I signalled my teammates to surround the area while the cops assisted them.
"And, Little Mermaid, you do that, and I am seriously going to make you reconsider my codename by proving you wrong and then regret it later."
"Eww, gross. Can you please not talk about your sex life in the middle of a mission?" Alex made a gagging sound over the line making more people chuckle.
"Smock, just because you don't have one doesn't mean you will criticise others."
I didn't often joke around with the team, but there were times like these when we were all out together on a high-risk mission, and the higher the stakes, the greater the need to lower everyone's stress. And what better way was there than to have their leadership mocked.
"I am with you on this, Little Mermaid. This guy deserves the title of Little Banana!"
"It's Crimson Rose!"
"Shut up, everyone! Stop making a fool out of yourselves before your teams and focus on the task at hand."
I jumped down a container and aimed my knives at three men, hitting them in the back. They fell dead instantly, and I proceeded to get rid of the rest of the enemies around the perimeter.
We closed in on the location from all directions as the clock ticked. The outer perimeter was covered by the special task force of the police department while we were the ones who'd directly confront the cartel in the centre.
"We are not going to expose ourselves until the other party arrives with the cargo," I instructed. "Silver Hawk, do you have eyes on their arrival?"
"Shipment hits the harbour in the next five minutes."
"As we discussed, take your team to block the sea routes. Smock, cover the ground exit. Little Mermaid, reminding you again, do not engage. Support us with your powers. Meanwhile-"
I was cut off in the middle when a patrolling group of enemies spotted me. I had to engage in a fight to silence them to avoid alerting the rest.
I used my powers to incapacitate a few, but I was too occupied to watch my back which was when I heard a gun cock behind my head.
"Move, and your brains will be sprawled across the floor."
My mind ran a thousand miles an hour as I considered all my alternatives. My speed had always been my asset, and I didn't have the time to entertain these people. There were barely a few minutes left before the shipment hit the docks, and I had to wrap things up at my end.
Before I could make a move to protect myself, I felt her presence. Just like the first time I met her on the battlefield, her entrance was accompanied by a sweet fragrance of roses. I had asked her before about the same, and she told me the scent helped her intoxicate her enemies and made it easier for her to use her powers on them.
I heard the man gag behind me, which was when I turned and witnessed Ariel strangling the guy, who was twice her size, with her metal strings. The man struggled against her hold for a moment before he fell down limp on the ground.
"You were saying?" She mumbled before she walked past me, her palm pointed towards the men I had been fighting against. The next moment, they grabbed their heads as they cried in pain until they passed out on the ground.
I watched in awe as Ariel took the reins of the situation and diffused the same in a matter of seconds.
And she just killed someone.
I had been keeping her away from the battlefield. I thought I was protecting her and all of us because I couldn't trust her to adopt harsher methods. We needed her for her powers, and I planned on exploiting exactly those.
But she proved me wrong. When did that happen?
"I thought you didn't-"
She stopped in her trail, her back turned to me. Her crimson hair was wound into a braid, hanging down her knees. The Order's uniform fit her perfectly around her curves, making her appear like a stone-cold assassin.
"It was you or him. I had to make a choice. I learned it the hard way, and I'll never forget this lesson again."
Without a glance at me, she sprinted ahead towards the meeting spot, and all I could do was gape at her retreating back, my feelings in chaos.
***
"...in a daring raid against the biggest drug cartel of the city, the Mayor has secured..."
"What a load of bullcrap. We do all the work, and they get the credit."Alex mumbled and muted the television in the living room of Seydon's house. It was his birthday, and we were organising a surprise party to celebrate the same except for the fact that it wasn't exactly a surprise anymore.
"What the hell, Alex! Stop lazying around and get back to work." Seydon instructed as he walked out of the kitchen, looking all smug and confident, drowning in the pleasure of being the birthday boy.
Who the fuck administrates the preparation for his own surprise party?
Apparently, Seydon Cross does.
"Just how old do you think you are to be decorating your house with balloons, Seydon?" I jabbed at him, the sarcasm heavily dripping down my voice as I blew air in one.
"Never too old for balloons. Jeez, you are such a party pooper!" He tossed a CD to Alex, who was working on the playlist for the party in the evening.
"That was a rhetorical question, Seydon. Nevermind. Who is invited?"
"Well, that would be us, obviously, and almost all the on-field agents currently posted in the city." Rihanna recited while reading through the guest list she had prepared on her phone.
I shot him an incredulous look, genuinely baffled that he'd want to invite that many people to his house. "Seydon, do you even know half of those people?"
He shrugged in response and answered, "I want all the free gifts I can get. Those who buy me the best ones get to be in my team next year."
That was one of the most ridiculous recruitment conditions I had ever encountered. But then again, it was Seydon, who I barely believed was related by blood to me. I wouldn't be surprised in the least if he had invited a circus to perform at his place tonight.
The doorbell rang, and everyone glared fiercely at Seydon at the creepy sound he had installed. He laughed it off as he walked to open the door. A moment later, we watched in awe as Ariel ushered in a young girl who was marvelling at the size and luxury of the house. I narrowed my eyes to her because the face looked familiar, which was when I realised it was Hannigan's daughter.
The man who died that day when Ariel hesitated to take a shot.
"Chloe, I want you to meet Seydon, the birthday boy."
Ariel introduced the two while the young girl sheepishly gazed up at him from behind her legs. She barely reached her knees. I couldn't even begin to fathom how such a tiny creature could one day grow up to become an adult. We were all the same height in the past. In fact, I used to be shorter than Alice in the beginning.
What was Ariel like as a child?
My mind wandered off to a picture of hers with her mother in a theme park that Seydon shared with us. I had it lost somewhere in my gallery, and I felt the urge to pull it up and get a second glance.
I shook my head, denying such weird thoughts I had been having lately.
I don't care. I don't need to know what she was like.
I watched in wonder as Seydon crouched down before her and smiled, and the girl returned the gesture. "Happy Birthday, Seydon."
"I am honoured, young lady." He took her hand in his and placed a gentle kiss on the back of her fingers, tinting her tiny little cheeks in red.
I had never seen him interact with kids before. The only time he did was probably with Rihanna and Alex a few years back, and the two were much older than this girl. It was odd to see him act so gentle towards someone, especially with all the notoriety he carried for his unorthodox methods in missions.
"Get away from her, Seydon, before you get thrown behind bars for being a paedophile," Alex added his two cents, and it became hard for everyone to hold back their laugh. Even I found myself breaking out into a chuckle. He didn't let the comment faze him as he lifted himself up on his feet and marched towards Alex. Without warning, he picked up a pillow from the couch and then whacked it against the back of his head, over and over again, and the two broke off into a childish fight.
Rihanna was the one to approach her next as she handed her a candy and then stepped outside to talk to the caterers.
Ariel finally brought her close to me, and honestly, just the thought of interacting with a child was a nightmare. I gave her a puzzled look, unsure what she expected me to do.
"And this is uncle Kaidon."
"Uncle...?"
A playful smile tugged across her lips as she winked at me, and I fought the urge to roll my eyes, not wanting the child to feel offended by my indifference.
"Nice to meet you, uncle."
God, what in the world...
"Umm, Chloe... right? Can I talk to auntie Ariel for a second?" I glared up at her, stressing upon the word 'auntie', as I mumbled, "Alone."
She sent her off in Alex's direction and then sat beside me, her eyes still lovingly riveted on the little girl. I could see that the guilt still ate her up inside. It pinched at her heart, making me feel guilty all over again. It wasn't her fault. It was those terrorists who didn't value human life as much as she did.
"It's her, right? Hannigan's daughter?"
She nodded without glancing in my direction.
"You are looking after her?"
"It was her day off. She didn't have anywhere else to go. Kai, I couldn't live with myself if I didn't do something."
It made sense now. Why she was more comfortable doing what she did earlier during our mission. I thought she was over it, but clearly, the incident profoundly impacted her mind. It opened her eyes and made her more receptive to the darkness of the world. It made her realise that things weren't painted in merely the colours of black and white. For someone in our line of business, it was a necessary realisation to come across. But I didn't want her feeling guilty about it.
"You cannot save everyone, Ariel. You cannot go around throwing yourself a pity party every time something like this happens. You learn and move on."
"And I will, Kai," she swivelled her neck in my direction, her eyes acting like a mirror to the resolve in her heart. "I made an error and will spend the rest of my life working off the debt. Never again, I am letting myself falter."
Her innocence reminded me of Alice. I didn't want to part with it. It wasn't like this new version of her lost that purity, but there was an unrelenting resilience to her. I had tried to protect her from the darkness of the world but watching her accept the same to become a stronger person oddly relieved my heart in some manner.
She wouldn't break that easily. Maybe I wouldn't lose her to this world again.
"Did you tell her? About..."
She merely shook her head in response, her eyes following the tiny figure of the girl who was hanging around Seydon's shoulders as he gave her a tour of the house.
"I will when she is old enough to understand. Right now, I just want to be there for her while she grows up."
If Karma really did exist, I would be banished to burn in the fires of hell for ever hurting her kind soul. This world is shrouded in darkness, where every person is fighting for their own sake, killing, lying, betraying. You tend to adapt to that living once you experience the atrocities life has to offer. But then, if you are lucky enough, you will come across a streak of such kindness- someone who truly wants to become a beacon of light in this dark world. It makes you feel happy. Such kindness comforts your heart. Twice, I had come across such light. If I were a better man, I'd let her go this time. But I wasn't. I wanted to keep her no matter the price. I wanted to keep her to myself.
My eyes followed her figure from the living room as she strutted about the kitchen, baking a cake for Seydon's birthday. I was put on babysitting duty once I was finished with the balloons.
I absentmindedly sipped on an empty plastic cup, my gaze still fixated upon Ariel.
Yes, I was playing 'house' with this little girl.
"Does baby Kaidon want a refill?" She asked, holding a small plastic kettle with water inside.
Why the hell am I the baby?
"Yes, please."
"Please?"
"Please... Mommy." Someone kill me right now.
She poured some water into my cup, and I took another sip. She followed my gaze towards the kitchen and noticed Ariel, making her eyes light up.
"You like Ariel."
I paused before taking another sip and let her words sink in. She didn't pose it as a question. She observed my reactions and concluded that. I wasn't sure who I liked anymore. Was it Alice or Ariel? My thoughts were in a turmoil, and the only fact I was certain of was that I liked the person she was. I liked who I was when I was with her.
"I don't."
"You do. I can see it."
"I don't. Now can we move on to the next task at hand?"
She pulled out a small box of chocolates, unwrapped it and then put one piece on a small plastic plate and handed it to me. She then stared at all the flavours in the box, her eyes twinkling bright, before choosing one for herself.
"Our class teacher once got us a box of chocolates like these to celebrate her birthday."
"Hmm?" I didn't pay much attention to her. I had never been good with kids. It wasn't that I disliked them, but I just didn't know how to act around them. I had never had a normal childhood which was why I could never relate to them either.
"The box had many flavours, and I really love the one with the orange filling." She smiled as she picked up her piece of chocolate and admired the same. "But I didn't say that to my teacher. I acted like I didn't care because I didn't want others to know, and by the time it was my turn to pick, all the orange-flavoured chocolates were gone. Therefore, now I always make it a point to be the first one to pick and keep this flavour with me."
My eyes widened in disbelief. I was unsure if the kid was merely reciting the story to me because we were playing together or if she wanted to pass me on the deeper meaning behind her words. An eight-year-old kid with such a simple view of the world had a much tighter grasp on her feelings than an adult me ever did.
I was letting her slip by because I couldn't acknowledge her. It wouldn't be long before she was gone entirely.
But... how do I shake this feeling off? How will I ever face Alice's spirit if I move on?
All rational thought flew out of the window when I noticed Seydon inappropriately close to her in the kitchen. He held her by her elbow, and she looked uncomfortable with the touch. I lifted myself off the floor, my feet moving of their own accord. Seydon yanked her closer and lowered his mouth to hers while she turned her face the other way, rejecting him and my fingers balled into fists on my sides. Before I even crossed the threshold to the kitchen, I was already barking, "Ariel, step away from him, now."
Her head jerked in my direction, and her eyes widened in horror.
"Sey, please."
Seydon further tightened his hold on her arm, and I glared at the place his fingers touched her skin.
"Why, Kaidon, Ariel told me everything about the kind of relationship you hold with her. Then I can have her while she is Ariel to you, can't I?"
I...this...
What am I doing? Why am I feeling like this?
Am I jealous?
Shit, that girl's words got to my head.
No, this can't be happening. Alice will always be the one for me. This woman was only a replacement. I can't let her mock my memory of Alice. I can't let her catch hold of my emotion. Alice died because of me. I can't let go of her.
My rage simmered as I closed my heart to everything- to my feelings, to Seydon's accusing glare and her hopeful gaze. She wanted me to take her away from him. She wanted me to tell the world she was mine, but I couldn't. Not when my past clung to me like my shadow.
I couldn't see her for Ariel.
"Do whatever the hell you want."
I didn't miss the glistening of her eyes, the horrified expression she made. I pulled her heart out of her chest and then stomped on it and shattered it under my feet. I was a horrible person who would continue to remain the same without my one true love. Nobody could replace her. I had faltered for a moment, but I was back to my senses.
"Stop trying to lecture me! I know what I am doing!"
I left earlier and didn't return to the house until after the party had started. My eyes barely browsed through the crowd, my mind elsewhere. This was when Rihanna yanked me away from the hall and pulled me towards an empty room on the ground floor. Alex and Seydon were already present inside, their hands crossed over their chests, their accusatory gazes shooting daggers at me.
Seydon had told them about everything that had happened. I didn't intend to hide it from them, but I didn't want the lecture either. Ariel and I were two adults who consented to that kind of relationship, and nobody had a right to intrude into our private lives.
"I can see you do a damn well job handling it!" Rihanna yelled, her voice reaching an octave higher, masked behind the loud music reverberating in the hall.
"Kaidon, I did not give her up only for you to make her miserable," Seydon added, and I shot him a menacing glare. I still hadn't gotten the scene out of my head.
"Did she say she was miserable? She walked into this, eyes wide open. "
"She doesn't need to say anything for it to be apparent!" Rihanna pointed her forefinger at me, her eyes burning in the fires of her rage. "Don't tell me you have been blind to her pain because I am not going to believe a second of that bullshit!"
I knew she was hurt. She was desperately trying to help me move on, but I kept playing this tug of war with her. I didn't even deserve her concern, but I wasn't one to turn away from it when she offered herself to me on a silver platter.
"You are going to regret doing that to her someday," Alex mumbled, and all I could do was look away.
"You are an awful person, Kaidon! Ariel deserves better than this! I am sick of you! I am sick of your shit, and I can't watch you make her go through hell! Alice would have hated you so much right now. Maybe it was her spirit that made all of this happen, and you just spit upon her efforts!"
Rihanna was the one taken aback the most by the truth of our relationship, probably because she looked up to Ariel as a sister. I was also aware of how things were complicated between her and Alex. That probably added to her rage. But how could I ever be hypocritical enough to blame Alex? He was at least trying to protect my cousin.
What the hell was I doing?
Rihanna pulled the door open but halted in her steps almost immediately. We heard a gasp escape her lips as she lifted her hands up to cover her mouth. Curious, Seydon and Alex stepped outside, and I followed after.
It was a brutal reminder of that beautiful night I spent with Alice six years ago. We had gone to that gala as a couple, and even though it was all a ruse, she still carried my ring on her finger that day. We had danced together to the lyrics of a song I hadn't forgotten all my life. It was the night that changed everything for me. The night I realised I was in love with her.
It made me recall the incident from earlier in the afternoon. When I had ordered her to step away from Seydon. I had unconsciously used my powers on her, only for them to fail. It hadn't struck my mind until this moment.
I am... in love with her... after all?
There she stood near the front entrance, dressed in the same black strapless gown, the smokey-eyed make-up complementing the colour of her dress. Her chestnut-coloured hair danced along the side of her shoulders as she turned on her heel and smiled at a guest.
It took me a minute to realise that it was Ariel. She had somehow managed to replicate Alice's look from that night, to the point of dyeing her hair the same colour.
My heart broke to see her like that. The gravity of the situation hit me hard in the gut.
Did I make her do that? Did I push her that far?
What did I ever do to deserve her love, her sanity?
The crowd seemed to fade into the background for me. I turned a deaf ear to my people's protests and walked toward her. Her gaze met with mine, and she smiled. It jabbed at my heart like an ice pick on a snow-covered path. She was crawling her way inside, thawing the ice with her warmth, and watching her shatter herself into pieces just to put me together made my insides scream in guilt.
I grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her out of the main door towards my car. I couldn't bear to watch her at her lowest point. I had pushed this strong woman to the brink, and even if God ever forgives me for that, I would never forgive myself if I let it happen.
When she tried to yank free of my grip, I pulled her to my chest into a tight embrace, my hand gently caressing the back of her head.
"You don't have to do this, Ariel." I made sure to remind her who she was. To tell her I hadn't forgotten. "Not for me. I don't deserve you."
She paused for a moment before gently wrapping her arms around my neck, returning my hug. "We take a step forward and then you always take two steps behind, Kai. I give up. You win! If I look like her always, you won't give me away to someone else, right?"
"Never. I would never do that, Ariel. I have been an ass to you, and I seriously cannot comprehend what makes you want to stay together with me despite all that. I don't want to let go, but you should really leave me."
"I tried, Kai! I tried hard to deny these feelings, but something kept pulling me back to you. I feel guilty at the mere thought of being with someone else. How can I not try everything to be with you? I prefer getting hurt by staying next to you rather than never being able to see you again."
Sometime, somewhere, I had done something really good in my life to be blessed to have such a person. One who was prepared to look past my rage and toxicity to break my walls and fight through every shit I'd throw at her. Who was ready to even lose herself in the process just to be able to heal me.
She was more my family than my real one ever had been to me. I was going to fix myself. I wouldn't let her suffer any longer.
"I'll come around, Ariel. I need to fight this guilt... this responsibility I feel towards her. I need to bring down the people who took her away from me."
"I'll help you. I am not leaving."
As if by a stroke of luck, the very man I had wanted to drag the life out of walked into my vision. He jumped out of thin air and landed opposite me. My eyes widened in horror as I recognised those silver hair and that familiar smirk.
Killian Gilaan.
What the hell is he doing here?
My arms moved with instinct as I pulled her behind me, hiding her from danger. My fingers went up to my earring, prepared to go all out if it meant killing him.
"Relax. I was only here to drop off a present for my son. Now I wouldn't want us spilling our blood on such an auspicious day." He rotated his finger in the air, and I noticed the red lasers directed at my chest from all four directions.
"Stay behind me," I whispered to her when she tried to move.
"Oh, is that the young Ford princess? You took my son's precious person away from him? But then again, I wouldn't put it past him to let go of his feelings if it meant seeing the person he loves happy. After all, he did inherit his mother's stupid qualities."
"Qualities that I presume made you like her in the first place?"
Seydon told us about his diary. We hadn't shared the details of the mission with the Order because we didn't trust them anymore. Not after they made a son go against his father.
He went silent at my jab. I understood what he went through. He lost the love of his life just like I had. He wanted payback, but he made enemies with me in the process. He made me experience the same pain as he did all those years ago.
A small smile crept up on his lips as he said, "How about I give you a small present as well, my dear nephew?"
I feared the worst, not for my life but hers. I was there for her this time. I wouldn't let her be the first. I'd be her shield. If he wanted to get to her, he'd have to step over my dead body. At least dying for her would give me some peace of mind.
"What if I told you that your beloved Alice is alive? Would you believe me, Kaidon?"