Our flight finally lands in oakville at 6pm .... I am just glad I managed to avoid Kam the entire morning until we got to the airport , he kept on attempting to talk to me but I was fortunate each time to have someone disturb.
I only hugged him goodbye after Caitlyn did just so my dad wouldn't get suspicious , Ashely on the other hand didn't mention anything to me she just continued to keep up with her overly welcoming attitude .
I am going to see all of them this week for mine and Ethan's anniversary so goodbyes weren't as sad as they usually are .
Caitlyn folds her legs clearing her throat, " so , are you going to tell me or am I going to have to drag it out of you ?".
" what ?" I act clueless.
" you and Kam made out last night and I could tell by the way you kept avoiding him that you remember so don't try to act dumb ".
" You saw us? " I gasp loudly .
" no of course not , Austin told me , I saw him carrying you to your bedroom last night on my way to the bathroom so I stopped him , he looked like a confused puppy trying to find his way back home ,after laying you to bed we went outside to talk , he told me about you guys kissing and how despite his very interest and desires he couldn't take advantage of you because you were drunk that's why he took you straight to your room , I saw the distress in that man's eyes he really loves you I doubt this is infatuation as you claim it is, why don't you just leave Ethan and try to see where your connection with Austin will go it is very obvious that you also like him " .
I sigh , " if mess was a person than it would be me , yes sure I like Austin but him and I being together would be a total disaster, its not about what I feel for him or how he feels for me , its about whats at stake "
she smiles warmly ,"want to know what else he said ?"
I nod focused on the road ahead , "that he loves you enough to let you go , he said he will ask you out one last time and if you refuse he will back away respectfullly because his own emotions are what's draining the life out of him ,he was planing on asking you out this morning if the kiss meant anything to you and whatever answer you were going to give he was going to honour it because he is a man of integrity afterall and you avoiding I think that gave him his answer, so I think from now on you can relax because I doubt he'll continue professing his love "," did I explain that well or should I start over ?" .
I huff ," no need I understand But if that's the case than that's great news, I have a lot going on right now , a situationship is the last thing I need" , I respond nonchalantly like none of that affects me , but it really does ,I pushed him away so I am not surprised , besides he deserves better it never would've worked out.
"Really ? , Wow okay, if you say so then ".
" onto exciting news , I am starting tomorrow as the official Price oil's CFO " I change the subject .
" embezzle as much money as you can for all the shit he put you through" she wipes away my smile .
" I will never do that I betrayed his trust once and the results proved to be very fatal , if I were to do something like that than you guys might just find me in a body bag " .
" true that , so is this year's anniversary going to be as big as last years ?" she asks .
" you know Ethan always does the planinng but from the looks of things it is "
" I am only looking forward to it because of the food , nothing else, he always manages to find the best catering crew " .
" yep , you and me both , I am so not looking forward to acting like the queen of the universe".
.....
I arrive at the house to find Ethan cooking , I wonder if Sarah knows how to cook at all , ever since I've known her I have never seen her holding a cooking spoon the only spoon I've seen her use is the eating spoon.
he grins when he sees me , I'm still not used to the changed atmosphere between us .
" hello there !," his face brightens .
" hey " I also smile .
" Welcome back , how was it ?" he asks grinning .
" it was great , exhausting and short but great " I say dragging my bags , "you can leave those there I'll take them to your room for you, but right now I need your help , I am making dinner want to give me a hand ? " .
hesitantly I reply , "sure " I drop my bags , and walk towards him.
" you can do the veggies and I will take care of the meat "
his energy is on another level today .
" where is Sarah ?" I ask him .
" out of town she won't be here until after the anniversary ,I think that'll be next week tuesday" he answers moving back and fourth the kitchen opening and closing counters .
" I see , when did she leave ?"
" the same day you did "
" then who are you cooking for ?".
he laughs , " for us, who else ?".
" oh ... okay " , I don't like it when he acts like this towards me because everytime he is nice it gives me hope for us,as a married couple , for a moment I am convinced the old Ethan is back .
maybe I can use this dinner to make him open up to me , I still want to talk to him about everything , I have many things I've stored up for a time like this, I know he doesn't want closure but I do and I am curious how he felt throughout all those years,dinner with just the two of us can open a door to that conversation there are so many things I want to say but only if he'd let me instead of shoving it under the mat .
" how is Collen and his mom ?" he asks .
" good good , they are good "
" did you greet your dad for me ?" .
" yep, he says hi back ".
he starts asking me about everyone else and how it all went I tell him about singing around the fire , the hike and every other scene that excludes Kam , he laughs at every joke I tell him even when its not funny like he always did back then .
we finish cooking about two hours later and start setting up the plates , its exactly 9 pm, he puts an extra plate on the table .
" you have an imaginary friend ?" I ask .
" of course not , a very good friend of mine texted me an hour ago , he will be here any min...." a loud knocks disturbs him ,there goes my chance of finally getting to make Ethan open up .
he rushes to the door , I don't know who the guest is but I don't like him or her already .
I hear them greeting each other and by the sound of the guest's voice I already know who it is .
" come on in " he ushers him into the dining room , seeing his smile warms up my heart , but why is he here ? , I thought he said he'd avoid me from now on.
my mind can lie to me all it wants but my heart can't , my heart is elated to see him .
" hey there Mrs Price long time no see " .
I suddenly don't like that name coming from his lips .
he is wearing a light brown coat which compliments his body very perfectly with tight black jeans ,which is what he was wearing when we parted ways.
"hello , earth to Mrs Price " he waves his hand being his goofy self .
I shake off my thoughts " sorry ,yes long time indeed, nice to have you back " .
"why are you looking at him like that Honey ?,are you falling for my friend and our project leader ?" Ethan asks me , I forgot he is unaware that Kam knows so there is no need for the labels .
" geez I know I look good Mrs price can you try and hide your affection ?, its making your husband insecure " .
, " I will try " I laugh playing along .
"haha , funny ,You can sit here man glad you could join us " , he shows him a sit that is opposite mine .
"I am also glad I joined " he glances at me , I think he can tell I'm just as happy to see him .
ten minutes hasn't past and they are already talking about the project , I wanted to know what the project was about and now they are finally talking about it in front of me but my attention is barely here , my focus is on Kam's lips and his sincere heart , I have never come across someone like him in my life before ,when Caitlyn told me he was going to back away I felt like my heart was beating for the last time , he was the only thing that was on my mind when driving here .
" are you okay ?" Ethan looks at me .
" yeah no , I am fine , how are you Kam?" I ask him casually .
" me ?, I am fine , you ?" he asks , in my mind I finished that sentence ' I am fine now that I am seeing you '
" I am great" ,
Ethan gets up and heads for the restroom leaving the two of us alone , silence takes over but Kam breaks it.
" who cooked these carrots " he asks with a not so impressed look in his face like he has just tasted shit .
" I did ,why ? "
He squashes his facial features together , " I will register you to a cooking class" .
I pick out one from my plate and throw it at him , " whatever "
we both laugh and fall into this realisation of what is really before us , " why are you here? , Caitlyn told me you said you'd back away " .
"I said after I asked you out , I wasn't able to talk to you so it's null and void ,why does it seem like you are shutting me down already, aren't you glad that I am here ?" his eyes pierce into mine .
Ethan comes back before I could respond to my advantage , how would I have been able to answer that , I also don't know what I want.
Ethan starts a conversation about animals and before we know it we exclude Ethan from the conversation , Kam and I are the ones talking , he loves them as much as I do we just disagree that poodles are more cuter than Chihuahuas ,I love poodles and he loves chihuahuas , we are arguing and laughing like we normally do when we are Skyping , Ethan eventually picks up the chemistry between us " what is wrong with you guys ?, did you spend the weekend together ?" , his question startles me .
" no , why would you ask that ?, I was with my family " I pick up my glass of water to drink the nerves down, hands shaking .
" I am obviously only joking , the chemistry between the two of you is different , one would swear you were married in your past lives " he says .
" if we were than I want to go back to that era "Kam adds .
Ethan slaps him behind his head teasingly , " do I have to remind you that she is my wife ? "
the three of us fall in and out of different topics, 2 hours pass and we barely even notice , this night is going into my memory to keep box , I haven't been able to have a comfortable and fluent conversation with Ethan like this in a while , I am certain its Kam's presence that made it all possible .
Ethan gets a call from some of the investors just as he is about to send Kam off , they urge him to watch the President FOMC speech , " Laur..... honey can you please see Kayden out , I have ...".
" yes sure " I don't wait for him to finish .
they bid their goodbyes doing the bro hand shake thingy before Ethan runs upstairs to his study.
a moment of awkwardness invades , " well then shall we? " .
he smirks " sure " .
I lead him out the house and walk with him through the porch , unsure of what I should say" well then goodbye " my nerves seem to take off my clothes exposing my nakedness .
" sure Mrs pice I will see you at the office tomorrow " .
and all of a sudden tomorrow seems too far away , I stay behind and wave at him " goodnight " I have never felt so weird around him not even the day I slept at his place .
he waves back at me with his enticing smile and turns around walking a bit further to his car .
I watch him walk away , I know I will see him again but something in my heart tells me that he is walking away for good , the longingness overwhelms me even though he is still before me .
I don't think I can contain myself any longer in less than a second I start running toward him and hug him from his back , holding my grip tightly around his chest , he freezes as his heart starts racing rapidly again.
remembering his question before Ethan came back from the bathroom" I am glad , I am glad you are here " I tell him so that he knows and does not decide otherwise .