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"You said you'd always be there for me, but you're not." — The Lion King, 1994
Word count: 1985
AS I promised, I went to the cheer society and managed to sign up. They asked me to return tomorrow and show them what I could do.
I should have felt happy I was back doing a sport I loved but I couldn't find it in me to even care.
Cheerleading felt like a lifetime ago. It was before the pandemic, before the tattoos and soul gifts. I was a different person than who was head over heels in love with Liam.
In all honesty, I really didn't want to go back to it. But Liam wanted me too—he was convinced it would help me. I couldn't say no to him, not when I was already lying to him so much so of course, I said I'd join.
I had been lying for so long—keeping up a facade—that it felt normal to do it. I could plaster a smile on him and pretend to be excited.
That night, Liam said he had caught up on all of his work and wanted to take me out on a date. We hadn't gone out as a couple in so long—too long.
So, I pecked him on the cheek, ignored the terrible feelings fluttering in my stomach, and changed into a pretty black dress.
I applied a smudge of make-up, opting for a casual but presentable look.
My green eyes popped with the black eye shadow and my contour accentuated my cheeks.
When I stepped into the lounge, Liam was watching Judge Judy—one of his favorite shows. He perked up at the sound of my heels and grinned.
"Gorgeous," He purred, bringing me in for a kiss.
I forced myself to relax in his arms and kiss him back. I could do this.
It turned out Liam had booked ahead at a fancy restaurant. His parents had a lot of money that they gave to him every few months. We usually spent most of it on rent and food but since we hadn't gone out anywhere in a while, we had enough to dine in a luxurious and highly respectable place.
I was glad I had put some effort into my outfit.
"Hello, Mr. Kross. Have you made a reservation this evening?" The hostess queried as we entered the building half an hour later. She was a pretty thirty-year-old woman. Liam came here regularly with his parents whenever they visited.
The hostess—who coincidentally was called Alice—led us to a candle-lit table in the corner of the room. "Here we are, I hope you enjoy your meal."
I lowered myself into the comfortable seat as she left and scanned the room. It was busy as usual. This was a popular place—the menu was exquisite. I always enjoyed coming here.
"What are you going to have babe?" Liam asked, innocently. Just that one innocent little endearment sent a pang of guilt through me. I brought my eyes back to him and swallowed my feelings. He was a good person and I hated lying to him.
"Oh, uh, I'm not sure. What do you recommend?" I asked since he knew this place better than I did.
When the waiter arrived, Liam ordered for us. I didn't even bother listening to him, knowing he would choose the right thing for me. This was how we worked.
Liam started the conversation, reciting what he had to do in his lectures over the past few days. I made sure to pay attention to him and smiled in all the right parts. Sometimes, when he spoke about his assignments, he got carried away. We could spend over an hour talking about them. I always tried to act like it didn't bother me even though if the roles were reversed, he'd never let me continue talking for so long.
Our relationship never felt like this before. We were always so good together. We fit perfectly. There was never an awkward moment between us. But now...
Liam didn't notice and I was extremely thankful for that. I couldn't deal with him knowing. Not yet. Not ever.
But deep down, I knew that I wouldn't be able to lie to him forever. The truth always comes out.
***
BACK at home, I was sitting on my couch, flickering through the television programs when I spotted Grey's Anatomy was on. It was my favorite show. Excitement bubbled inside of me and I shuffled onto the couch to get cozy.
Just as Meredith Grey's face popped onto my screen, my vision faded. Instead of the television, the back of a tall man's body was in my sight. The man had long and silky red hair. It was vibrant and would definitely attract attention.
This time, I could actually hear things. There were several voices all speaking a different language. It sounded Korean. Were my soul mates Korean? Or did they just speak Korean?
It sounded like my soul mate was on a bustling street. It was raining and the clouds were grey. My soul mate turned their head and just as I was about to get a glimpse of who they were with, it cut off.
I was...disappointed.
I wanted to know who they were with. Were they in a relationship as well? Was it possible my soul mates knew each other?
There were articles that scientists had published which said if people shared a soul mate, the ones who shared them tended to know each other. They were usually close friends with them.
It was highly possible they knew each other and that I had seen the back of one of my soul mates.
Red hair. Pretty red hair.
I found it very attractive and it made me want to meet the person who had it. They must have quite an engaging personality.
Grey's Anatomy returned to my vision but I was no longer interested. All I could think about was what I had seen.
I was...close. So close to finding out something crucial about my soul mates. What one of them looks like.
Did that mean they'd be able to see what I was watching? What would they think?
Liam never really liked the program, claiming it was too dramatic and unreal. As soon as Izzy started seeing her dead boyfriend, he gave up.
I cuddled my pillow and chewed on my lip.
Anna was right—these soul gifts were occurring more and more often.
If my soul mates were in a different country, the chances of me crossing paths with them were rare. They would have to leave which would be difficult if they had a job or were at school.
They didn't even know where I was.
Plus, for all I knew, they could all be in relationships. Even after finding out about soul mates, people still stayed in their relationships. They could have the same views as me. They could be happy in a relationship—or even married.
That thought sickened me to my core. I did not want to think about my soul mates happily married. But that was hypocritical of me. I didn't want to be with them and I was with Liam. They had the right to be with people just as much as I did. This bond shouldn't force us away from happiness. If they were happy with their partners, then I would not complain.
I switched the program to a news program.
The usual woman who told the news in the evening flashed on my screen, her pink suit bright.
"—Today, soul mate scientists have discovered that over thirty million people have found they share a soul mate. It has been reported that bonds like this are stronger than any other. If one of the soul mates ignores the bond, it came to have terrible effects on themselves and their soul mates."
My breath shuddered.
That was not what I wanted to hear.
And to make matters worse, Liam decided to enter the lounge and plop himself next to me.
"What are they saying?" He queried, his blue eyes lingering on the screen.
"Oh—uh," I stuttered, internally panicking.
"—To ignore the bond between multiple soul mates would be a deadly crime, scientists claim."
The news broadcaster added, staring into the camera. It felt like she was specifically looking at me, dead in the eye. Like she knew my deepest secrets.
My throat felt drier than the Sahara desert.
"Not this shit again," Liam commented, his nose scrunching distastefully. He didn't look pleased that I was watching this, at all.
We hadn't really talked about soul mates since the day the phenomenon was announced.
I knew he wasn't for the idea. He liked free will. He despised the idea of not choosing your own fate.
"Liam, w—what would you do if you found your soul mate?" It took a lot of strength for me to ask him that. I had been bouncing around it for so long, afraid to hear his answer. We had never really talked about that possibility. I assumed he thought that it would never happen to us.
He shifted his eyes to me, "Babe, are you worried I'll leave you if I find a tattoo on my body?"
No, I'm afraid of you finding the initials on my wrists.
"Y—Yeah," I lied through my teeth.
Liam's orbs turned soft and he circled an arm around my waist, pulling me to his chest. I rested my head over his beating heart, letting its soothing rhythm calm me down.
"I'm not going to leave you, Alice. I love you. Some tattoo and apparent bond to another person won't change my mind. You're it for me. You have always been my girl. The moment I saw you cheering for me, I knew we were destined."
His proclamation was both endearing and alarming. It made my insides twist painfully. Liam was devoted to me but I wasn't entirely to him. I felt dirty and unfaithful. Unworthy of his adoration.
Why did fate have to do this to me? To us?
"One day, Alice Bradshaw, I'm going to marry you." He declared, planting a kiss on my hair affectionately. He was unbeknownst to my struggles, to my overwhelming guilt.
I wanted to cry. I wanted to apologize to him so badly.
I was a terrible girlfriend.
"What about you, Alice?" His husky voice broke me out of my spiraling thoughts.
Lifting my head up, I peered up at him through my long lashes. "What?"
"What would you do if you found your soul mate?" He questioned, nearly making me choke on my spit.
It took a lot for me to not react. If I did, he'd know something was wrong. He'd know I was hiding something.
"I—," Oh god, what do I say? Panic seized my heart, my mind blanking. He was staring intensely into my eyes, his blue eyes locking onto my emerald ones. "I won't leave you."
My words came off almost stiffly. He seemed to not notice this though. I was glad he couldn't tell how I pushed them out of my mouth. He wasn't usually oblivious about these things but he seemed to be about that. It was because he trusted me wholeheartedly.
In his mind, I had nothing to hide.
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